Editing bedtime story

{{sbenav|137}}
[[Image:Sbemail137.PNG|thumb|"TRY HARDER TO BE A BRAN MUFFIN!"]]

Strong Bad explains how he helps The Cheat go to bed at night.

'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, [[The Denzel]], [[Moses Malone]], [[Maggot Man]], {{Film|Strong Mad}}

'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Basement of the Brothers Strong]], [[The King of Town's Grill]], [[Moses MaloneLand]]

{{Comp|Lappy 486}}

'''Date:''' Monday, October 24, 2005

'''Running Time:''' 3:34

'''Page Title:''' Lappy 486

{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc Five}}

==Transcript==

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{singing}'' I'm still here, after all these years, checkin' my email. ''{high pitched}'' Checkin' my email! ''{brings up the email}''

<blockquote class="lappy email">
<div>subject: Bed-time Stories</div>
Hello Strong Bad,<br>
I can't seem to fall asleep latley and I was wondering,<br>
you know, if you would tell me a bedtime story.<br>
Good Night.<br>
- Justin Wagley<br>
Keller, TX</blockquote>

''{Strong Bad pronounces "latley" as written and "Keller, TX" as "Killer taxes." He also puts special emphasis on "you know" and "Good Night."}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Justin Wagley, ''{shakes head quickly}'' huh? Well, this just in, Wagley ''{shakes head again}'': I'm not your freakin' babysitter! Or your Dad. Or your dadbysitter. ''{clears screen}'' But I am The Cheat's dadbysitter and he's been having some serious problems falling asleep latley ''{pronounced as before}'' too, ever since he watched that shock-you-mentary about gingivitis.

''{Cut to The Cheat in Strong Bad's basement, with the lights off. The TV is playing, and The Cheat looks scared.}''

'''MAN ON TELEVISION:''' In the final stages, the gums took on the appearance and taste of chocolate pudding.

''{The Cheat gives a scared whine/whimper and turns pale. Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' We've had to cook up such an elaborate go-to-sleep scheme for The Cheat that I believe it's officially reached rigamarole status. Anyways, it all begins by making sure The Cheat has his security, um, item. A grodalated old sponge&mdash;

''{Cut to an image of a green sponge with a badly-drawn face, covered in bandages.}'' 

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' &mdash;covered in Band-Aids which he affectionately refers to as "The Denzel."

''{The words "The Denzel" appear in quotes at the bottom of the screen. Cut back to the Lappy; Strong Bad continues to type.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Next, we have to prepare The Cheat's favorite bedtime snack. A tall glass of a little concoction he calls SUUDSU.

''{Cut to a blue screen with "oh my, SUUDSU" written in the background. A glass of milk appears with a chime.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Skim milk,&mdash;

''{A pile of gummy bears appears.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' &mdash;gummy bears,&mdash;

''{The gummy bears are placed in the milk and a circle reading "Pure Genius!" appears.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' &mdash;pure genius!

''{Cut to The King of Town's grill, without the lid. The Cheat is lying on it, carrying The Denzel and holding a glass of Suudsu.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' So, once he's safely cuddled up with The Denzel and his glass of Suudsu,&mdash;

''{Strong Bad walks up onscreen}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' &mdash;it's time to begin the bedtime story proper.

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{onscreen}'' Okay, The Cheat, are you ready for tonight's installment of...

''{A thought bubble appears from The Cheat, taking over the entire screen. In [[Powered by The Cheat]] style, the words "The Ch8t's Cheatventures in Moses MaloneLand" appear as spoken.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Powered by The Cheat, voiceover}'' The Cheat's Cheatventures in Moses MaloneLand! When we laugh left our heroes&mdash; 

''{A picture of The Cheat and a pair of dark-skinned legs with long socks and red shoes appears. They're standing behind a podium, with Mt. Rushmore to the right.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' &mdash;they had just won a debate against the minds of Mount Rushmore ''{said with the accent placed on "Mount"}'' and re-celebrating&mdash;

''{A new picture appears, with The Cheat sporting an unusual hairdo and Moses Malone's legs standing near a crude rack of items and "le new style" written in the background}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' &mdash;by shopping for some new wri&mdash; wristbands.

''{The Cheat turns toward the rack and points at one of the items.}''

'''MOSES MALONE:''' ''{only his legs are seen; the sock on the left moves up and down as he speaks}'' Dang, The Cheat, you ''would'' look good with a pair of monster truck tires!

''{A pair of monster truck tires suddenly appear on The Cheat.}''

'''MOSES MALONE:''' Now we're talkin'! Uh-oh! Maggot Man!

''{Cut to a sunset view. A silhouette appears over the horizon; when it reaches the foreground, it is revealed to have a pink body, a pair of pincers in place of a head, seemingly boneless arms, and no hands.}''

'''MAGGOT MAN:''' ''{flailing his floppy arm}'' Hey, guys, can I come over and play video games!?

''{Shift back to Moses and The Cheat, who is holding a knife.}''

'''MOSES MALONE:''' No.<br>
'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{simultaneously}'' ''{emphatic negative The Cheat noise}''

''{The camera moves back, showing that Maggot Man is very small compared to Moses, and that they're standing on a football field. Moses kicks Maggot Man away, toward the top of the screen.  There is a small upside-down mushroom cloud where Maggot Man disappears from the screen.  Cut to Moses and The Cheat in a trophy room with a banner that reads "HALL OF FAME."}''

'''MOSES MALONE:''' Nice work, little man. What do you say you and I go play some video games?

'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{affirmative The Cheat noises}''

''{The Cheat's right arm becomes humanoid and gives Moses a thumbs-up.}''

'''MOSES MALONE:''' All right.

'''MOSES MALONE:''' I got first game!<br>
'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{simultaneously}'' ''{The Cheat noises that roughly match what Moses is saying}''

''{The Cheat laughs, with his arm temporarily detaching from his body. Cut to a picture of a digital wristwatch flashing a line art depiction of The Cheat in red LEDs. Above it is the banner "TIME NEXT".}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{Powered by The Cheat, voiceover}'' Next time on The Cheat's Cheatventures in Moses MaloneLand...

''{Cut to a room with a banner reading "ALL OF GAME," with The Cheat and Moses holding Nintendo controllers. Moses's hands are in view; he has a large gold ring on his right hand.}''

'''MOSES MALONE:''' ''The Adventures of Lolo''? You better s-s-save ''{pronounced like "have"}'' saved the receipt!

''{Cut to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' After I get sick of making up crap about The Cheat and Moses Malone, Strong Mad and I belt out his favorite lullaby.

''{Cut to the grill, where Strong Mad is revving up a chainsaw.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{attempting to yell over the chainsaw}'' BRAN MUFFINS!! WHERE ARE YOU STUPID BRAN MUFFINS?!! TRY HARDER TO BE A BRAN MUFFIN!!!

''{The Cheat sighs happily, closes his eyes, and smiles. Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' And when ''that'' doesn't work, we call upon our good friend, 2 or 3 roach foggers.

''{Cut back to the grill once more. Two cans of "[[ROACH KILLA!]] ([[GAVIN]] SAFE!)" are now on the grill with The Cheat, and Strong Bad is holding a third.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' Sleep tight, sweet prince!

''{He tosses the third can onto the grill, slams the lid on it, and then takes cover. A small explosion is seen from inside the grill. Then, The Cheat sighs again.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{looking over his shoulder}'' How're his vitals?

''{Pan over to Strong Mad in scrubs and surgical mask, with a heart monitor. After an interval of straight line, it blips once.}''

'''STRONG MAD:''' WE'VE GOT A PULSE!

''{Cut back to the Lappy.}''

'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' So if we're lucky, The Cheat wakes up alive the next morning and fixes us all a big pitcher of suudsu. No foolin', man. That stuff is G-E-W-D, gewd. Hopefully you were able to at least cop a wicked contact buzz off of The Cheat's bedtime story, Wagley. Or off the fumes from those bug bombs. Either way, ''{the screen dims}'' you should be losing consciousness ''{the sound slows and descends in pitch like recorded tape being slowed to a halt}'' any second now.

''{[[The Paper]] comes down.}''

== Easter Eggs ==
*Click on "rigamarole" to see the Certificate of Rigamarolarity.
[[Image:Sb rigamarolarity certificate.PNG|thumb|CERTIFICATE OF RIGAMAROLARITY]]
<div style="border:1px solid #ccc27d;background:#dddaa4;text-align:center;color:black;width: 40em">
<span style="font-size:200%"><span style="color:#C0C000">CERTIFICATE OF RIGAMAROLARITY</span></span>

This paper right here seriously signifies that<br>
<span style="font-family: AhnbergHand, sans-serif; text-decoration: underline">&nbsp;&nbsp;<span style="color:red">getting the Cheat to freaking go to sleep</span>&nbsp;&nbsp;</span><br>
has hereby achieved RIGAMAROLE STATUS<br>
Let it be known from the valleys<br>
to the hills.<br>
Or maybe the dells.

<span style="font:200% cursive;text-decoration: underline"><font face="Cursive-Elegant">G.L. Rigamarole</font></span><br>
<div style="text-align:right; margin:0em 2em;font-size:75%">Good Lord Rigamarole</div>
</div>
*Click on "Suudsu" at the end to see a "real-life" glass of [[Suudsu]].
*Click on "bedtime story" to see more of The Cheat and Moses Malone playing video games.
:'''MOSES MALONE:''' ''Bayou Billy''?  I hope you saved the receipt!

== Fun Facts ==

=== Explanations ===
*[[Wikipedia:Gingivitis|Gingivitis]] is the inflammation of the gums due to improper (or lack of) cleaning of the teeth.
*"Grodalated" is a made-up word that presumably means "has become or been made [http://www.randomhouse.com/wotd/index.pperl?date=19960524 grody]".

===Remarks===
*When the Suudsu is being made, the gummy bears do not cause any liquid displacement to the milk (the milk level does not rise).
*Moses Malone's body does not appear above the "HALL OF FAME" banner or the "ALL OF GAME" banner.
*The first time Moses Malone appears, his socks have one blue and red stripe each. Every time later, his left sock has a red stripe and his right sock has a blue stripe. They're also longer.
*The smoke from the foggers doesn't come out of the open holes on the top of the grill.
*It's strange that The Cheat's favorite lullaby involves the roar of a chainsaw, since he was terrified by the roar of [[Bubs]]' "pumpkin" in [[Pumpkin Carve-nival]].

===Goofs===
*The word consciousness on the screen before the fadeout is misspelled as "conciousness."
*If one was to pronounce "The Ch8" they way it was written, it would sound like "The Ch-ate."

===Inside References===
*It was first revealed in [[Where's The Cheat?]] that The Cheat lives in the King of Town's grill.
*The title "The Ch8t's Cheatventures in Moses MaloneLand" is an example of [[Internet Slang|Leetspeak]].
**In addition, The Cheat is also referred to as "The Ch8t" during the email [[mile]].
*The entire "Moses MaloneLand" part (including the voices) is all done in [[Powered by The Cheat]] style.
*"Cheatventures", "Shock-you-mentary" and "Dadbysitter" are [[portmanteau | portmanteaus]].
*The glass of Suudsu in the Easter Egg is a [[Real-Live Foods|live action drink]].
<!-- Do not reference the Big knife in this section, see the talk page -->

=== Real-World References ===
*[[Wikipedia:Moses Malone|Moses Malone]] was a former [[basketball]] player who played in both the [[Wikipedia:National Basketball Association|NBA]] and the [[Wikipedia:American Basketball Association|ABA]]. He was named one of the NBA's 50 greatest players in 1997, was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2001 and died in 2015.
*The controllers that The Cheat and Moses Malone were playing with are similar to the original and most recognizable controllers that were available for the [[Nintendo]] [[Wikipedia:Nintendo Entertainment System|Entertainment System]].
**''[[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Lolo|Adventures of Lolo]]'' is a puzzle game for the NES developed by [[Wikipedia:HAL Laboratory|HAL Laboratory]], in which the player had to make their way through ten floors to save the country of Eden. It received mostly positive ratings for the puzzle-style gameplay.
**''[[Wikipedia:The Adventures of Bayou Billy|The Adventures of Bayou Billy]]'' is a multi-genre action adventure game for the NES featuring a beat-'em-up style of gameplay and first person shooter sections.  It was notorious for poor controls and extreme difficulty.
*"Sleep tight, sweet prince" is a reference to [[Shakespeare]]'s ''[[Wikipedia:Hamlet|Hamlet]]'', Act 5, Scene 2, where Horatio says "Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest" to the dying Hamlet.
*[[Wikipedia:Gummy bear|Gummy bears]] (also known as Gold-Bears in some parts of Europe) are small, chewy, bear-shaped confections originally developed by [[Wikipedia:Haribo|Haribo]].
*The lullaby played on the chainsaw by Strong Mad is similar to the [[Wikipedia:Jackyl|Jackyl]] song "The Lumberjack", which features a chainsaw solo played by the band's lead singer Jesse Dupree.

=== Fast Forward ===
*Exactly five months later, a photograph of the glass of Suudsu appeared in the [[Sketchbook 2006#SK-2006-03-24|Sketchbook]].

==YouTube Version==
*The [[YouTube]] description for this email is "The Cheat's bedtime routine has officially reached rigamarole status. Watch and learn!"
*None of the Easter eggs are present.

== DVD Version ==
*The DVD version features creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.
=== Commentary Transcript ===

'''MATT:''' Do you remember when, uh, Dad would read us ''Go Team Go'', Mike?

'''MIKE:''' Yes. There's a <!--sic--> author, I think his name's John Tunis?

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' He wrote this series of sports books, yeah, one of which was ''Go Team Go''

'''MATT:''' I always picture&mdash; were they in Indiana? I always just placed them in Indiana&mdash;

'''MIKE:''' Yeah.

'''MATT:''' &mdash;cause they played basketball. 

'''MIKE:''' That's the only place where high school basketball exists, ''{Matt laughs}'' especially in the '50s. Did you ever get read bedtime stories, Ry, that you can remember?

'''RYAN:''' Uh, ''It's Raining Meatballs'', what's that one?

'''MIKE:''' I dunno.

'''RYAN:''' There's one my Dad really liked.

'''MIKE:''' Right.

'''RYAN:''' I think "It's raining Spaghetti and Meatballs" or something like that.

'''MIKE:''' Ok. ''Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing''? ''Super Fudge''?

''{all laugh}'' 

'''MATT:''' I remember, uh, I told my dentist about this joke, like, I had to go to the dentist just a few days, uh, after we made this. 

'''MIKE:''' Uh-huh.

'''MATT:''' And they were just like&mdash; and they knew&mdash; you know, they kind of know what we do, that we make this cartoon website. And I was trying to explain, I was like "Oh yeah, we made this joke about, you know, gums getting gross." And they were just kinda like "What?" And I was like, "Well there's this little character, and&mdash;" &mdash; just like, yeah&mdash; they weren't getting it at all and I was having a terrible time explaining.

'''MIKE:''' I saw that sponge in the sink&mdash;

'''MATT:''' Just now?

'''MIKE:''' Yeah.

'''MATT:''' Washing out some&mdash;

'''MIKE:''' Today I was washing out a cup, and it's still this gross old sponge.

'''RYAN:''' That sink is a sad sight. In the office.

'''MIKE:''' Yeah, that sink is in bad shape.

'''RYAN:''' The Denzel.

'''MATT:''' So, tell 'em Mike.

'''MIKE:''' Well, Suudsu, along with Bronco Trolleys, were&mdash; uhh&mdash; I dreamt about. And I just had a dream about Suudsu, and it was a good&mdash;

'''MATT:''' Gummi bears and milk, man.

'''MIKE:''' It looks delicious.

'''RYAN:''' We still have it, don't we?

'''MATT:''' Yeah it's still in there.

'''MIKE:''' ''{simultaneously}'' Yeah, in the break room.

'''MATT:''' And all the milk is evaporated.

'''MIKE:''' Ohh... uh, more P-T-&mdash; P-B-T-C.

'''MATT:''' The ''chate''. <!-- sic --> ''{pause}'' ''{laughs}''

'''MIKE:''' I like how Moses Malone talks here, with his sock.

'''RYAN:''' Yeah.

''{pause}'' ''{all laugh}''

'''MIKE:''' Yes, The Cheat has a nice little, uh, hairdo.

''{all laugh}''

'''MATT:''' I don't like Maggot Man. ''{pause}'' Eww... The Cheat grew a human hand.

'''MIKE:''' Remember how Bayou Billy was advertised in comic books for about two years&mdash;

'''MATT:''' Yeah.

'''MIKE:''' &mdash;before it finally came out?

'''MATT:''' I think&mdash; I think our friend Neil called first game, the first time one of those ads appeared.

'''MIKE:''' "I call first game!"

'''MATT:''' "I got first game!" &mdash; as soon as Bayou Billy came into, like, into anyone's consciousness, Neil called first game. ''{long pause}'' That is a horrible lullaby, you guys. You should try that on your daughter, Mike.

'''MIKE:''' What his he saying?  Some&mdash; ...Try harder to be a bran muffin.

''{all laugh}''

'''MATT:''' That's a good so&mdash; The Cheat loves it. ''{pause}'' For a second there, I thought that Strong Mad w&mdash; wasn't holding that thing, and he was like, uh, Evil Dead II'ing it. ''{imitates chain saw sound}'' Chainsaw attached to his wrist.

''{pause}''

'''MIKE:''' Ohh! All&mdash; all you ladies will notice that looks like ''Grey's Anatomy''.

''{laughter}''

'''MIKE:''' Hey&mdash;

'''RYAN:''' Hot new show.

'''MIKE:''' Ladies love ''Grey's Anatomy''.

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' Gewd;  That's a portmanteau of "good" and "eww".

''{pause}''

'''MATT:''' Umm, what were those bug bombs called? I remember being proud of that, uh, that packaging on the, the can of bu&mdash; ''{email ends}'' ''{imitates slowing down as audio from email slows down}'' Uh oh... ''{unintelligible}''

===Fun Facts===
*Mike mentions [[Bronco Trolleys]].
*The "It's Raining Spaghetti and Meatballs" book that Ryan mentions is probably [[Wikipedia:Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs|Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs]], the [http://www.amazon.com/Cloudy-Chance-Meatballs-Judi-Barrett/dp/0689707495 cover of which] shows it raining meatballs.
*''Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing'' and ''Superfudge'' are both children's books by [[Wikipedia:Judy Blume|Judy Blume]].
*Strong Mad being said to have been "Evil Dead IIing" the chainsaw is a reference to the movie [[Wikipedia:Evil Dead II|Evil Dead II]], in which the protagonist, Ash, cuts off his own hand and replaces it with a chainsaw.
*''[[Wikipedia:Grey's Anatomy|Grey's Anatomy]]'' is an American prime-time medical drama. The series revolves around Dr. Meredith Grey, who began the show as a surgical intern at Seattle Grace Hospital in Seattle, Washington.

==External Links==
{{sbemailextlinks|137|5636|youtube=SXZ49PNDo4o}}

{{Strong Bad Email}}

[[Category:Powered by The Cheat]][[Category:Emails With DVD Commentary]]