bottom 10

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Revision as of 06:47, 10 November 2006

"Buttdance again! Like the rhythm's down your pants now!"

Strong Bad tells us his "bottom 10."

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Horrible Painting, Marshie, Nibbles, The Cheat, Homestar Runner, Limozeen

Places: Computer Room, Strong Badia, Strong Mad's Room, The Field

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: July 11, 2005

Running time: 4:57

Page Title: Lappy 486

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} This email is making fun of you.

subject: Bottom 10

To Weak Bad
What is your bottom 10?

From someone stronger than you

STRONG BAD: Oh man, this person made all kinds of typos. Lemme type this...

{He changes "Weak Bad" to "Strong Bad".}

STRONG BAD: They forgot this...

{He adds "the Good Dancer" after "Strong Bad".}

STRONG BAD: They got this wrong...

{He changes "Someone stronger than you" to "Someone that is a girl" with the phrase "a girl" italicized and in pink.}

STRONG BAD: Ah, there we go! {typing} Oh, Simone! You seem like a really {in pink} nice girl, so I'll answer your question relatively {in pink} free of charge. "Strong Bad's Bottom 10" is as follows:

{Cut to Strong Badia. The "Strong Bad's Bottom 10" Logo flies in from the top of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Number Ten is easy. Dry T-Shirt Contests.

{A Dry T-Shirt contest flyer flies in from the top.}

STRONG BAD: You'll never find a more degrading contest or a larger waste of not water.

{The flyer flies away.}

STRONG BAD: Creeping in at Numbah Nine is that horrible painting that's been in Strong Mad's closet since we were little.

{Dramatic music starts playing, and we cut to the door of Strong Mad's closet. Strong Bad is there, sliding the door open slowly.}

HORRIBLE PAINTING: {menacing, under its breath} Come on in heeeeere.

{Strong Bad screams and slams the door. He begins flailing around, uttering "jibblie" over and over, almost incoherently. Cut back to Strong Badia.}

STRONG BAD: Incidentally, the jibblies currently occupy Slot number Eleven {numbers ten and nine shift up to show *11. The Jibblies *Not in bottom 10 in gray} on my Bottom 10. {Number eleven slides out of frame. Ten and nine return to their former positions.} Numboo Eight is the one you should all pay close attention to: Emails with more than one "Fwd:" or "Re:" {pronounces "fwd" and "re" as written} in the Subject line.

{Cut to the computer room. Strong Bad is preparing to answer an email.}

STRONG BAD: Back out of my way, so I can check some email.

{Strong Bad presses enter, and the email appears. However, the subject line fills up the screen, consisting entirely of "Fwd:" and "Re:". The subject line continues scrolling while Strong Bad talks.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, great. Let me guess: {in a mocking voice} "It's true! You saw it on the news!" Or, "Hey, sounds crazy, but thought it was worth a shot!"

{Cut back to Strong Badia.}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, a shot in the face, maybe. Now, Seven is something that's been going on for way too long. Miniaturized versions of already bite-sized food.

{An ad for Fluffy Puff Marshmallows appears.}

MARSHIE: Yowza! Guess who birfday it is! {a question mark appears} Mine!

{The lights suddenly go out, and Marshie winces in pain as the noise of an electric shock plays. A miniature Marshie walks onto the screen, with Homsar's movement noise.}

NIBBLES: {Marshie appears to be getting mad during the time Nibbles is saying this} Sorry, Marshie, but it's my birfday. I'm one years old. My name's Nibbles, for new Fluffy Puff Marshmallows bite-si—

ANNOUNCER: All-new Fluffy Puff Bite-Size Nibblers are perfect for newborn-type babies {a baby emerges from a mountain of Nibblers, and then ducks back down}, and scalding hot chocolate {pull back to reveal the marshmallows atop a cup of hot chocolate, which catches on fire}. No more mouth strain with Fluffy Puff Nibblers!

{A mouth is shown straining at a full-size marshmallow. The caption reads "You Got Mouth Strain?" with a red circle and line "no" symbol drawn through it. The symbol rolls away as the marshmallow changes to a Nibbler. The mouth smiles and the caption reads "Heck No!!"}

NIBBLES: I make good earplugs, too.

MARSHIE: {Flies onto the screen and knocks Nibbles away.} Get out of here, you little runt! {Marshie winces again, causing the electrical shock noise to return. The commercial suddenly pauses, and PAUSE appears on the bottom-left corner of the screen.}

{Cut back to Strong Badia.}

STRONG BAD: And-a Numba Six-a: the Foul Stench of Wet The Cheat.

{Cut to The Field. The Cheat is standing there, soaked and shivering. Next to him, is a ladder, a cup, and a sign that says "HIGH DIVES – 5 bucks." Cut back to Strong Badia.}

STRONG BAD: And number Five, um... not... {music stops} pigeons. {a pigeon starts cooing} They eat breadcrumbs. They craps on people. Funny stuff. NUMBER FOUR! {music plays again} There was this one time where I had to hug a tree.

{Cut to the field. Strong Bad and Homestar are there, and Strong Bad is hugging a tree.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Keeeep ooon huggin' it.

STRONG BAD: How did you get me to do this in the first place?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hug it! Hug it!

STRONG BAD: And why do I continue to do it?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Keep on huggin' it. Hug it down.

STRONG BAD: I don't even like this tree that much.

{Cut back to Strong Badia.}

STRONG BAD: Ooh, now we're getting to the good ones. Number Three is the ridiculous trend of giving chocolate desserts dangerous names. You know, like, Chocolardiac Arrest. {a picture of Chocolardiac Arrest appears}

WOMAN: {Voice} Oh, that looks sinful.

STRONG BAD: Or... THIS BROWNIE MIGHT KILL YOU. {a picture of said brownie appears}

WOMAN: {Voice} Oh, this is so rich.

STRONG BAD: Or, quite possible the least appetizing name of all time... Chocozuma's Revenge! {a picture of Chocozuma's Revenge appears}

WOMAN: {Voice} This is all fat-free, right?

STRONG BAD: Shut up, lady! {the pictures slide off the top of the screen} Slumming in at Number Two are songs that try to pass off la la's, na na's, and doot do's as legit lyrics. As evidenced in Limozeen's bizarrely titled "Feed The Childrens." {the album art of "Feed The Childrens" appears}