candy product

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Revision as of 21:06, 13 June 2021

You got SBLOUNSKCHED!

Strong Bad gets his own candy product.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Senor Cardgage, Coach Z, Marzipan, Strong Sad, Homestar Runner (Easter egg), Marshie (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Bathroom of the Brothers Strong, A Hill, Alleyway, The Athletic Field, Marzipan's House, Basement of the Brothers Strong, The Field (Easter egg)

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Running Time: 3:01

Page Title: Lappy 486

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Five

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {as if talking into a microphone - he blows into the mic and taps it} Check one, check two. Sibilance. Sibilance. ^[1] SBEmail.

subject: Candy

Dear Strongbad
I was wondering, if you are so famous, popular, and a
chick-magnet how come you dont have any candy product...
or food thing... to sell..............
From somone thats not homestarrunnner

{While reading, Strong Bad says "Dear Strongbad I was wondering," as one clause, pronounces "dont" with a short O sound (rhyming with "font"), inserts exaggerated pauses at each ellipsis (even humming to himself for a few seconds while he waits on the longest one right before the end), and pronounces "somone" similar to the name "Simone".}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Well, of course you're not, Somone. Or else you would've fallen prey to Edgar's Baby's Daddy: my Homestar junkmail filter. {clears screen} So what I don't have a candy product. I betcha I will by the end of this email. I'm famous, popular, and chick-magnet enough to have a candy product. Why is it athletes are the only ones with their own candy bars? Shouldn't they have their own brand of, like, jock-strap or divorce lawyer, instead? {clears screen} For my candy bar, we're gonna need a name that's 50% Strong Bad, 50% tooth rot, and 50% ta-dah!!! How 'bou... SBLOUNSKCHED!

{A brown "SBLOUNSKCHED! bar" smashes onscreen, and then disappears.}

STRONG BAD: 'Cuz that's how you're gonna feel when you eat one... like you got SBLOUNSKCHED! {has trouble pronouncing the end, and types it slowly} Now we gotta be sure and represent as many of the different states—

{A candy-based periodic table covers the screen.}

STRONG BAD: —of candy matter as possible. We'll start with a gaseous cloud of marshmallow vapor—

{While Strong Bad says the second sentence, a pile of marshmallows appears from the left and puffs into a shiny, white vapor.}

STRONG BAD: —encased in a globule of semi-solid licorice colloid.

{As this is said, some black goo comes from behind and encases the vapor in a bubbly black sphere. It shrinks while it and many other identical blobs fill the lower part of the screen as the next sentence starts.}

STRONG BAD: A bunch of those will be floating in a channel of liquid nougat—

{A wave of white nougat fills the lower half of the screen, and the licorice spheres begin floating in the new stream.}

STRONG BAD: —which I recently found out is the candy equivalent of veal. And we roll all that up inside a solid crispety cookety log—

{At the end of the last sentence, a cookie dough log with chocolate chips wraps around the stream and puts it back to the center. It has a small stump sticking out with a leaf.}

STRONG BAD: —and cover it with rich, creamy... pepperoni.

{Seven slices of pepperoni drop along the top of the candy log.}

STRONG BAD: Then sprinkle that with, not just crispy puffed rice, but whole tiny bowls of crispy puffed rice cereal.

{As this is spoken, twelve tiny bowls of crispy puffed rice cereal drop onto the treat.}

STRONG BAD: And finally, smother that with the ol' BBC: Boring Brown Chocolate.

{Liquid chocolate is poured onto the candy and completely covers it.}

ENGLISH-ACCENTED VOICE: I say...

STRONG BAD: Now that is a confection worthy of the SBLOUNSKCHED! name.

{"SBLOUNSKCHED!" appears embossed on the candy.}

STRONG BAD: But I need to think of a better shape than the standard piece-of-crap shape.

{Cut to Strong Bad in the bathroom, reading a newspaper.}

STRONG BAD: I'm talkin' to you, Baby Ruth.

{Cut back to the Periodic Table.}

STRONG BAD: Let's see... shape, shape, shape shape shape—

{The candy rapidly morphs through a series of shapes: a chainsaw, a dollar sign, a thumbs-up, a syringe, a campfire, the state of Indiana (with the word "BAR" written on it), a mustache, and the bust of Van Buren.}

STRONG BAD: —ooh, what about my pants?

{The candy morphs into the shape of Strong Bad's pants}

STRONG BAD: Everybody knows my pants! And they come with a built-in bite out of them {a bite is taken out of the pants, with a 'chomp' sound} for security, 'cause who's gonna steal a pair of half-eaten choco-pants?

{Cut back to computer}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Man, with a candy bar like that, you could get away with anything!

{A candy commercial begins. Fade in to a close-up of Strong Bad's feet and pants as he walks down a road towards the camera. The words "copyright 2006 Cheap as Free Foodstuffs" appear in the bottom-right corner for the first few seconds.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover, singing} You got the munch.

The crisp and the crunch.

Livin' in the gutter with Grandma...

When Coach puts you in,—

You gotta go for the win.

Y2K turned out all riiiight!

{with chorus} SBLOUNSKCHED!

You can do it!

SBLOUNSKCHED!

Crunchy chew it!

{with chorus} Who's got the money?!?

You got... SBLOUNSKCHED! {has slight trouble pronouncing the name}

TV ANNOUNCER: {speaking very rapidly} Buy one and you can get one free root canal or cavity search.

{The Paper comes down. Strong Bad moves his head to the side to peek under The Paper shortly after it appears.}

Footnote

1. This could also be "Sibilants. Sibilants."

Easter Eggs

Edgar's Baby's Daddy

• Click "Edgar's Baby's Daddy" to see Strong Bad's Homestar junkmail filter.

Edgar´s Baby´s Daddy H*R Junkmail Filta

Subject Time Sender Re: Besing Friends 10:22 Homestar Runner Draw Trogdor again ;) 10:22 Homestar Runner Re: re: re: resending 10:23 Homestar Runner Re: PharamBlacy news 10:23 Homestar Runner Possible caper 10:23 Homestar Runner Rrrrates so low!!!! 10:24 Homestar Runner Shemp vs. Curly Joe 10:24 Homestar Runner It´s almost 10:25!! 10:24 Homestar Runner

• At the end of the email, click the front SBLOUNSKCHED! bar to see a short scene of Homestar (dressed as a robber) preparing to steal a discarded candy product.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh, paydirt! A pair of half-eaten choco-pants!

• Also at the end, click the SBLOUNSKCHED! logo below the candy bars to see a short scene of Marshie's face appearing in the gaseous marshmallow vapor.

MARSHIE: {creepy, distorted voice} You can't destroy me!

Fun Facts

Explanations

• Although the word colloids has several meanings, in this situation it refers to small particles that are suspended within the substance that contains them, a common example being Jell-O.
• Sibilance (or "sibilants") is a word commonly used when testing microphones to make sure that sibilant sounds ("s", "sh", "z", and "zh") are picked up and balanced properly against other speech.
• The date shown on the Tandy 400 is Friday, December 31, 1999. Strong Bad was changing the date to avoid the year 2000 problem.
  • The line "Y2K turned out all right." refers to the Y2K crisis rumor, which was caused by a belief that the problem would cause all the computers in the world to crash.
• Veal is the meat taken from young calves, which some consider to be an inhumane practice. It is generally appreciated for its delicate taste, tender texture, and nutritious qualities.
• BBC actually stands for British Broadcasting Corporation, which may explain why the English voice is offended by Strong Bad's interpretation.

Trivia

• One of Homestar's emails asks for Strong Bad to Draw Trogdor again.
• See The Periodic Table of Candy Elements for the full table.

Strong Bad reading "Da NewsPapes." Note how the bottom part of the text overlaps into the wall.

• Strong Bad's newspaper contains the following articles:

• The name for the "SBLOUNSKCHED!" bar has five consonants in a row.

Remarks

• During the SBLOUNSKCHED! commercial, you can't adjust the contrast knobs on the Tandy 400 as you normally could.
• The Tandy gives the "current" date as month-day-year, with a 4-digit year, but it is asking for the new date as day-month-year with a 2-digit year.
• Requesting a "new date" at startup was very common for early Tandy computers, as many of them did not have any battery powered memory installed to keep track of the date and time while powered off.
• As evidenced by the "a:\>" prompt on the Tandy, Strong Bad exited the date program without entering the new date.
• The Edgar's Baby's Daddy filter screen is in the Compy's font, Commodore 64, instead of Glitch0, the Lappy's font.
• Although licorice candy is mentioned as a part of Strong Bad's confectionery, it is the only candy ingredient of the candy bar that is not one of the visible "elements" in the periodic table (other than Pepperoni, but that is not "candy" per se).
• From the start of the commercial to just before The Paper comes down is exactly 30 seconds—the standard length of a TV commercial.
• Though Strong Bad says he doesn't have any candy named after him, he does have a chewing gum named after him in an Easter egg from 2 emails.
• The effects used on the nougat (the swirls and liquid effects) were used in the pool Strong Bad was sitting near in A Jumping Jack Contest, only this time the swirls are a different color.
• Strong Bad's Periodic Table of Candy Elements has two elements abbreviated as "Ch": "Chocolatium" and "Chewy".
• Strong Bad is breaking the fourth wall when he says, "I betcha I will by the end of this email".

Goofs

• The wrong font was used for the word "contrast" on the Tandy 400.

Fixed Goofs

• When this email was released, there was no back button at the end. It was fixed within a day of the email's release.

Inside References

• "Re: re: re: resending" is a possible reference to bottom 10, where Strong Bad explains that he hates emails that have more than one Fwd: or Re: in the subject line.
• "Rrrrates so low!!!!" were once also offered by Homestar Runner to Marzipan in Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 5.0.
• This is another example of characters peeking from behind objects in the foreground.
• One of the rejected forms for the candy bar is the bust of Van Buren.
  • Another is a chainsaw.
• At the beginning of the commercial, small print at the bottom reveals that it is a production of Cheap As Free Foodstuffs.
• Marshie's creepy voice in the Easter egg is similar to an Easter egg in Pumpkin Carve-nival.
• "Edgar's Baby's Daddy" is another instance of Edgar-based computer protection software.
  • In long pants, Edga Jr. was "The Long Email Killa Filta". "Filta" is used again for the latest Edgar filter, "Edgar's Baby's Daddy H*R Junkmail Filta".
• "Possible caper" refers to caper.
• "Da NewsPapes" is a reference to the newspapers in stunt double and dangeresque 3, which were called "The Local Newspapes".
• The camera rotating around Strong Bad while he's standing on the hill is a possible reference to Old Intro 2.
• One of Homestar's email subject lines contains an example of be's.
• The part of the commercial with Senor Cardgage sleeping in an alley is a reference to Senorial Day.
• The SBLOUNSKCHED! bar is another example of a concoction. It also involves an ingredient still in its package.
• The score of "R" is another irregular score.
• The "crispy puffed rice cereal" on the candy bar is a reference to Breakfast Cereal.

Real-World References

• "Sibilance", a word describing the "s" sound, was used by Tom Hanks in a "Wayne's World" sketch on Saturday Night Live in a soundcheck for Aerosmith. The word was also used during a soundcheck scene from the 1984 mock rockumentary, This Is Spinal Tap.
• The "SBLOUNSKCHED!" commercial is a parody of a series of TV commercials for Mentos candies. In these commercials, it is suggested that you can get away with virtually anything so long as you have the advertised product.
• Baby Ruth is a popular 2-ounce candy bar in a log-shaped form. Strong Bad's comment about "athletes with their own candy bars" may refer to the common assumption that the Baby Ruth was named after baseball great Babe Ruth. (Officially, Baby Ruth was named after the daughter of U.S. President Grover Cleveland, but this may have been a smokescreen to avoid paying royalties to the Babe.)

• There have been a number of candy bars actually named after athletes, Reggie Jackson's Reggie! bar being one of the first (debuting in the 1970s) and probably the best known.

• Strong Bad later alludes to Baby Ruth's "piece of crap shape", this is most likely a reference to a similar gag in the film Caddyshack.
• Grizzly Chomps, a Hostess-brand chocolate cupcake introduced in 1992, similarly featured a "built-in bite." The package bore a cartoon bear saying, "I start 'em, you finish 'em."
• "Crispity" is a made-up word used in advertisements, along with "crunchity" and "peanut-buttery," to describe the Butterfinger candy bar.
• "Re: PharamBlacy news", which appears in the Junkmail Filta, is a subject line from an actual spam that was circulating in heavy volume around the time this email was produced. It advertised discount prescription drugs offered by many southeast Asia-based "pharmacies," and the subject had two random letters inserted where the B and l appear here to avoid detection by spam filters. (See also Fast Forward)
• Shemp Howard and "Curly Joe" DeRita served as the third of the Three Stooges at various points in the act's history.
• The "Periodic Table of Candy Elements" which appears behind Strong Bad's candy creation as he is making it is a spoof of the "Periodic Table of Elements" which is the basis for most chemistry and other scientific research.
• The description of how the SBLOUNSKCHED! bar is assembled, and the mention of "rich, creamy...pepperoni" are references to Bart's Friend Falls in Love, an episode of The Simpsons. In the episode, two fake commercials (one for the "Good Morning Burger", another for a chocolate bar not unlike the SBLOUNSCHKED! bar) have a sultry female announcer describing how they're both assembled, with emphasis on how they're coated in "rich, creamery butter".

Fast Forward

• In the remake of the Strongest Man in the World cartoon, the textual representation of the sound effect when Señor drops his grapes is "SBLOUNSKCHED".
• The email underlings includes a similar scene where Strong Bad reads Da NewsPapes in the bathroom.
• The bowl of puffed rice cereal would later be seen in hygiene.
• The Cheat would later receive a spam email with the subject reading "PhramC7acy" in web comics. (See also Real-World References)
• "Fun Size" SBLOUNSKCHED! bars appear in Most in the Graveyard.
• In Strong Badia the Free, Strong Bad again mentions having a filter deliberately blocking emails from Homestar.

DVD Version

• The DVD version features creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Mike Chapman, Homestar Runner, and Karen Wagner)

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey, who's this crazy lady?

MIKE: Homestar, I'd like you to meet my sister Karen.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Did she just wander in off the street?

KAREN: Oh yeah, I did.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh... You smell nice for, for someone who did that.

KAREN: {laughing} Thanks.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: The last person we had in here that wandered off the streets smelled like a, um, a rat party.

MIKE: A rat party?

KAREN: {overlapping} Although, you know, I'm really nervous about doing the commentary so I'm kinda sweatin'. So maybe I do smell bad.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's okay.

KAREN: But, as usual, when this email came out, I got lot of requests for actually putting out a SBLOUNSKCHED! bar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Did they want it to be just like it was in the cartoon?

KAREN: Yep! With the little tiny bowls of puffed rice cereal and the pepperoni—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wow.

KAREN: —and all that other stuff.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I like how the crispety cookety part is shaped like a log. It has a leaf on it.

KAREN: {laughing} I was gonna say doesn't it even have a leaf?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Is it a mint leaf, Mike?

MIKE: I think it's a real leaf.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Really.
MIKE: {simultaneously} Yeah.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Is it growing, somehow growing out of the cookety log?

MIKE: It's a cookety log leaf.

KAREN: {overlapping} And the SBLOUNSKCHED! adds up to 150 percent.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's right. Strong Bad always gives 150 percent.

KAREN: What about you, Homestar?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm, I'm—

KAREN: {overlapping} How much percent do you give?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm around se—I was 725 the last time I checked.

MIKE: 725?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, I have a scale that's kinda like a weigh you, weigh you down scale, you know.

MIKE: Uh-huh. You step on—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {overlapping} That I stand on, and it tells me what sort of percent I'm giving for the day.

MIKE: Yeah, and it's always up in the seven hundreds somewhere?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It was this morning.

MIKE: That's uh—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {quickly} That's right!

MIKE: —impossible.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {overlapping} Here I go!

MIKE: That's impossible.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No!

KAREN: {laughing} There's the leaf.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's right. Darkium Chocolatium. I like all those candy elements in the background.

KAREN: {laughing} Yeah, it took me a long time to, uh, get all of those. I had to watch it many times. But, see now, with the DVD, I can just pause it.

MIKE: There are a couple of them that I think that are repeated. Uh, those two letter symbols?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad just offended the British.

{all laugh}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You did a good job of making that looking like it was etched in there, Mike.

MIKE: Thanks, Homestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ew, was Strong Bad on the toilet?

MIKE: No, you didn't see—there's no evidence of a toilet. It was just—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {overlapping} He was in a tiled room, reading a newspaper.

MIKE: Well, he's got a tiled room for newspaper reading.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I think there was some insinuation going ons there.

MIKE: I don't know what you're talking about.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: So, what's the deal with this trend?

KAREN: About the—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {overlapping} With products makin' you able to get away with murder or get girls?

MIKE: Or sneaking into a concert by wrapping a bandana around your head?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah. Pretending to be a road-eye. See, everybody loves him. Even Strong Sad gives him the thumbs up.

KAREN: Even though his head has been pushed through the ceiling.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Diet Coke!

KAREN: Hey, are they going to have a Diet SBLOUNSKCHED!?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, they should.
MIKE: {simultaneously} Either that or South Beach SBLOUNSKCHED!.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hi, Strong Bad! Hi!

Fun Facts

• Strong Bad jumping in the air at the end of the SBLOUNSKCHED! jingle is similar to Diet Coke's commercials in the late 1980s, thus prompting Homestar's comment.
• South Beach Diet is a diet plan that emphasizes "good carbs" and "good fats".

See Also

• The visuals that occur during the jingle.

External Links

• watch "candy product"
• watch "candy product" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "candy product"
• forum thread re: "candy product"