cliffhangers

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Revision as of 02:20, 19 September 2006

"Prepare to be resolved!"

Strong Bad resolves three cliffhangers, and is confronted with "sweet lady irony."

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homsar, The King of Town, Coach Z, Bubs/The Thnikkaman, The Cheat, Strong Mad, Strong Sad, Homestar Runner

Places: Computer Room, A Cliff, Coach Z's Locker Room, Inside The Proud Anselmo, Strong Sad's Room, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Office

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: September 18, 2006

Running Time: 3:21

Page Title: Lappy 486

Transcript

STRONG BAD: (singing) Oooh, it's a e-email, money, money, money. Oooh-ooh. Shut up. (brings up email)

subject: cliffhangers

Dear Strong Bad,
Resolve all the cliffhangers please.

Thanks,
Jake

{Strong Bad reads "Jake" as "Little Jakey please and thanks"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Hmmmmm. The clifhangers, eh? I never really thought to call them that, but I guess it is what they are. Yeah. Why not? {gets up, accompanied by the geddup noise}

{Cut to a face of a cliff. Homsar and the King of Town are both hanging from seperate ropes, which are attatched to the top of the cliff.}

HOMSAR: This dinner party is top dollar!

{Strong Bad is seen walking up to the edge of the cliff. Zoom in on him.}

STRONG BAD: Alright, cliffhangers. Prepare to be resolved!

{Strong Bad takes out a knife and slices both the ropes, causing the King of Town and Homsar to fall to the bottom, which is not seen.}

STRONG BAD: Oh, and I brought you some snacks.

{Strong Bad tosses some paper bags labeled "Hom" and "Kot" down the cliff.}

KING OF TOWN: {Echoey} You're a good friend, Strong Bad!

{Strong Bad leaves. Cut back to Strong Bad's computer room. Strong Bad sits back down, and the screen has already been cleared.}

STRONG BAD: Alright, alright. I know what you really mean, Jakesy. So, you say you want a resolution, huh?

{Static away to the words "Cliffhanger #1" on a dark grey screen. Then, cut to the Locker Room. The Thnikkaman is crammed into a locker, bound with ropes. Coach Z is facing him.}

COACH Z: And now, Thnikkaman, at long last, the world will discover your secret, sorcret identity!

{Cut to a closeup of Coach Z's face.}

COACH Z: Therefore, rendering you useless as a Thnikkaman!

{Cut back to the original view of the locker room.}

THNIKKAMAN: I'll render you toothless!

COACH Z: Now, give me them cool shades!

{Coach Z swipes at the Thnikkaman's "cool shades". Just as he's about to take them off, freeze the frame. Coach Z's arm is blurred. Zoom in, and play the "dun, dun, duuun" sound effect. The screen fades, and "Resolution" appears over the top in yellow text. This goes away, and we return to the scene – Coach Z misses the glasses and falls on his face.}

THNIKKAMAN: Yeah, shut up, Coach.

{The Thnikkaman jumps out of the locker on top of Coach Z, and walks off the left of screen. The usual singers chime in, the words flying across the screen.}

SINGERS: You missed unmasking the Thnikkaman!!! Because you have really bad hand-eye coordination!!!

COACH Z: Enough already, I get it! My secret sorcret has been revereled.

{The words "Cliffhanger #2" appear. Cut to Strong Bad in his Space Captainface outfit inside a cardboard spaceship, talking on a cardboard cell phone, with a little paper umbrella as an antenna.}

STRONG BAD: Yeah I know, Lita Ford... but I'm in orbit, baby! Look, I'll call you back when I'm not—

{Cut to The Cheat, dressed as Strap, who plays an alarm sound on a CD player, and turns a lamp with a red bulb on and off.}

STRONG BAD: Strap! Collision alarm! Bring it up on screen.

{Strong Mad takes away the piece of cardboard representing the screen, revealing a circular silhouette hanging from a piece of string, and holds up a sign reading "Malmsteen's Comet"}

STRONG BAD: We're on a collision course with Malmsteen's Comet! Full power to the forward humbuckers!

THE CHEAT: {anxious The Cheat noises}

{The Cheat points to a screen drawn on the cardboard that reads "The forward humbuckers have never worked!"}

STRONG BAD: Humbuckers are offline? Then strap in, Strap, and prepare for ramming speed! If this is the end, then we can at least make it awesome for the people in...

{Strong Bad looks out a side window labelled "the view" at a desktop globe of the Earth}

STRONG BAD: Greenland.

{The Cheat plays a rockets firing sound on the CD player, and the ship starts shaking}

STRONG BAD: Oooohhhh... Shooooooo....

{Everything freezes, and the same "dun, dun, duuun" sound effect plays.}

ANNOUNCER: Will Cap and Strap make it out of this one?

{Cut to the silhouetted comet, with a question mark overlaid, Strong Mad holds up a sign reading "Tune in next time..."}

ANNOUNCER: Tune in next—

STRONG BAD: Nope, none of that, just get to resolving.

ANNOUNCER: Okay!

{Up comes the "Resolution" screen, then cut to Strong Bad and The Cheat holding on to each other as the ship shakes around them}

STRONG BAD: This is it, Strap!

{The shaking stops, the rocket sound dies away, and the "comet" comes out of the silhouette, revealing it to actally be a mouldy cantaloupe, with the label "grodalated cantaloupe.}

STRONG BAD: Wait a minute... that's no comet! We've wandered into the Forgotten Produce belt of Tablature 5!

{The cantaloupe is joined by a bunch of overripe bananas and an overripe avocado.}

STRONG BAD: It's guacamole and banana bread time, Strap!

{Some upbeat music plays, and Strong Bad and The Cheat dance to it}

Easter Eggs

• Click on the ransom note at the end to see an extra scene in the office with Homestar and Strong Bad.
• Click on the power plug to see a scene with Coach Z and Bubs at the concession stand.
• Click on Jake to see a book called "Little Jakey Pleasenthanks" by Dr. Sportsinterviews.

Fun Facts

Inside References

• Strong Bad first appeared as Space Captainface in space program.
• When The Thnikkaman waddles away, he makes Homsar's walking noise.
• The sticker on the cantaloupe says "grodalated", a word that first appeared in bedtime story.
• This email marks another spoken reference to "Cool Shades."
• Strong Bad wields a Big Knife in this email.

Real-World References

• "So you say you want a resolution, eh?" is a reference to the Beatles song "Revolution", specifically its hook "You say you want a revolution."
• The Malmsteen comet is a reference to Swedish guitar player Yngwie Malmsteen.