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"Okay, kids, we're gonna play Where's The Cheat!"

Strong Bad Email #110

Allison wonders what a Strong Bad television series would be like.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Rather Dashing, Kerrek, The Cheat, Homsar, The King of Town (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room

Computer: Compy 386

Date: August 9, 2004

Running Time: 3:21



{We see Strong Bad at the Compy 386 playing Peasant's Quest. He has a score of -38 and is in the area with Kerrek.}

STRONG BAD: Uh, let's see here... {typing} Make friends with Kerrek. {A message pops up. It reads, "The Kerrek says he has enough friends already. And he doesn't like your short, short pants." His score also drops to -40.}

STRONG BAD: What the!? (presses enter} Um... {typing} Buy Kerrek a cold one. {Kerrek smashes him on the head. There is another message. It reads, "The Kerrek is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. He pounds your head into the ground. You dead." His score also drops to -45.}

STRONG BAD: WHAT?! Oh man... Stupid game! {types "quit." A message says, "You quitter."} I guess I should do the thing that I do. {pulls up the a> sign and types "strongbad_email.exe"} {Reading}

{instead of saying "- - -", he mumbles "henna" three times. After reading his own name, he stops reading and says, "Whoa! Three hennas! Must be an important one!" Then he continues reading. After the comma, he says "unnecessary comma," and he pronounces "Allison" as "All is on"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Television?!! Kids?!! Wait, do you people think I'm intended for children? Like, the littlest, tiniest babies? You know, they watch those shows on public television. I don't think I'm cut out for that sort of sugarjob.

{Cut to a piece of yellow paper of the sort used to teach kindergartners writing. Strong Bad is superimposed on it with a rocket launcher/bazooka, a monster with horns, a bunny with fangs, and a creature that resembles a man sticking its tongue out drawn in crayon around him.}

STRONG BAD: {Smiling beatifically} Okay, kids, we're gonna play "Where's The Cheat?". Can you say, "a-The Cheat"?

KIDS: {half incoherent} The Cheat. {one child mumbles} Christopher Columbus.

STRONG BAD: Not good enough. F minus minus. {"F--" appears on the screen. The DELETED buzzer is heard. Cut back to Strong Bad. Behind him are a tree and an open box. A toilet is in front of him.} All right, dumb children. {rubs his hands together} Find The Cheat! {The Cheat comes out from behind the box.}

KIDS: {say things like "He's over there," or "Right there." They continue saying this.}

STRONG BAD: Um, no, he's behind the box. {Turns around and points to The Cheat} No, uh, he's not even behind the box, he's barely obscured by the box. {turns around} Look, The Cheat is behind the freaking box!! {Kids stop talking and the music soundtrack screeches to a halt. Strong Bad comes closer to the viewer.} HE'S BEHIND THE BOX! I'LL KILL YOU!! I'LL KILL ALL YOUR DOGS!! {Cut back via a change of TV channels to Strong Bad at the Compy 386}

STRONG BAD: So, you can see how that might be less than pleasant. What with all the letter writing and the angry mothers and the subsequent stringing me up in town square for all to see. But you know who's a natural for that sorta thing? None other than America's favorite blue midget Homestar: Homsar!!

{Cut to an all-white scene. Homsar comes through a faraway door. He walks closer to the viewer and stops.}

KIDS: What do you know, Haddi-man?

MAN: {As the words are sung, they are shown one by one at the bottom of the viewer's screen. A caricature of Homsar rides by from right to left in a boat with a flag. The background is light green, with white, yellow, purple and green flowers spinning counter-clockwise. His shirt says "if you lived here you'd be home"} We'll have an adventure, and several long trips. We'll make some new friends {Smiling, multi-ethnic children appear behind Homsar as he sails left off the screen} and maybe get a bite to eat!!! {An orange with "abc" on it appears. Seven Homsar silhouettes now fan like a hand of cards from left to right, and then disappear in reverse order.} All 'cause we say, {A red silhouette of Homsar with the flag from the boat appears. White liquid spills onto the screen. A logo that says "Whaddaya Know, Haddi-man?" with a second caricature of Homsar on it appears.}

KIDS: What do you know, Haddi-man?

{The real Homsar pops up on the left side of the screen in the lower left corner.}

HOMSAR: DaAaAaA! I'm a trendy tote bag!

{Cut to a tan scene. Homsar disappears and reappears in various places, accompanied by raspberry noises. When he stops in the left half of the foreground, a blue lower case "g" appears beside him.}

KIDS: A "G"!

HOMSAR: I'm not gonna lie to you, that's a healthy piece of real estate!

KIDS: A "G"!

{Cut to a purple background with a seated, mustachioed man playing a guitar. As the words are sung, they appear on the screen.}

MAN: Stave it off, 1-2-3, and now you can count to three.

HOMSAR: That's a real popular song! Who wants to hear of it fifty times more?

KIDS: {shouts of approval}

{Cut to the previous screen. Now we see two of the guitar-playing people, one in a darker shade superimposed behind the other. Again, as the words are sung, they appear on the screen.}

MAN: Stave it off, 1-2-3, and now you can count to three.

{The darker shaded guitarist is suddenly upside-down, and the song is repeated as are the words on the screen.}

MAN: Stave it off, 1-2-3, and now you can count to three.

{Cut back to the Compy via a channel change.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Good gravy. {Spoken: GOOD... GRAVY.} I've got two words for the children that are raised on that crap: HELD BACK. REPEATING THE THIRD GRADE. LOW STANDARDIZED TEST SCORES. I GUESS THIS WAS MORE THAN TWO WORDS. THE PAPER, PLEASE TAKE US HOME.

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click on the words "good gravy" to see the KOT's new food product.
The KOT's Good Gravy
the KOT's
"I don't lets the
Poopsmith near it!"
104 oz.
  • Also at the end, click "crap" to see a CD jewel case and hear a sample of All is On's album:
Mega Hits!!
(on spine) Songs We Found On The Street

(sample from "album") "All is on... feel it, feel it, feel it, feel it..."

Fun Facts


  • The commands Strong Bad uses in Peasant's Quest were not originally part of the game but were added after this email debuted.
    • Typing "make friends with kerrek" results in the message "Look, it didn't work for Strongbad [sic] and it's not gonna work for you either."
    • Typing "buy kerrek a cold one" results in the message "The Kerrek is a teetotaller and is offended by your request. You've really cheesed him off now." Also, the Kerrek begins moving twice as fast.
  • It is impossible to get a negative score in the real game, despite Strong Bad's miserable showing.
  • The positions of the crayon graphics in the first scene are all rearranged when the scene zooms in on SB's face.
  • If the "Stave it off" song were really looped 50 times (including the pause heard in the email) it would last for 6 minutes, 10 seconds.


  • As Homsar says the word "trendy," his hat changes in size; first larger, then smaller, then back to normal.
  • When Homsar talks after the lowercase "g" shows up (complete with various head movements and hat flyings, as per usual), his shadow stays still.


  • When Strong Bad is playing Peasant's Quest, the Contrast knob has no effect on any of the black text on the screen except for the game messages (i.e. "You quitter.").

Inside References

  • Strong Bad refers to hosting a kids' show as a "sugarjob," echoing the email sugarbob.
  • The drawing in top right corner of Strong Bad's show is the gelatinous monster from kids' book.

Real-World References

  • The fake show hosted by Strong Bad is a spoof of many children's shows; the kids heard shouting the answers to Strong Bad's questions are taken from the show Blue's Clues. Strong Bad's show is actually a curious reversal of Blue's Clues; in Blue's Clues the kids know all the answers but the host is completely clueless.
  • The way Homsar enters and walks closer to the viewer is from the British kids' show "Bod". This is likely, as The Brothers Chaps have claimed that Bod was one of their influences.
  • The noise Homsar makes when he teleports around sounds like noises on the PBS show Boohbah.
  • The Guitar Playing Man bears a striking resemblance to folk singer James Taylor. Taylor has made numerous appearances on the children's TV program Sesame Street, often singing educational songs.
  • The "letter of the day" feature in Homsar's show is reminiscent of Sesame Street, which ends each show with the mock sponsorship, "Sesame Street was brought to you ... by the letter __!"

Fast Forward

  • The "All is On" song from this email is used again in the easter egg for extra plug.
  • The words "Stave it off, 1, 2, 3..." were used again in the email virus.

DVD Version

  • The DVD version features hidden creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Matt Chapman, Mike Chapman, Ryan Sterritt on guitar)

{Ryan’s guitar playing throughout the commentary}

MATT: You’re listening to the smooth, sultry, sounds of the Strong Bad DVD commentary.

RYAN: Dim the lights, Matt. Who’s on lights? Matt are you on lights?

MIKE: I know one thing for sure.

MATT: What’s that, Mike?

MIKE: Ryan Sterrit’s on the guitar right now.

RYAN: {over Mike} Oooooohhhhhhhh yyyyyyeeeeeaaaaaahhh.

MATT: What’s that Ryan?

RYAN: Hey um— re— re—

MIKE: {over Ryan} Make it sing. Make it sing.

RYAN: Regarding the P— the Peasant’s Quest thing we— or— before the email or just after we went back and added the phrases.

MATT: {over Ryan} Those two commands.

MIKE: Oh, into the game.

RYAN: Yes.


MATT: And you’d get the same responses, right?

RYAN: Y— something like that. Something similar.

MATT: Or maybe— no.

MIKE: Oh no, that’s right.

RYAN: {yelling} Check— Check— Check it out at home.

MIKE: Yeah.

RYAN: Find out yourselves.

MATT: Give it a shot.

RYAN: I’m sorry. I’m not being sufficiently jazzy in my role.

MATT: No! We’re all err—

MIKE: Hey it’s all good. It’s all hot.

MATT: Everything— we’re all a family here at Strong Bad Email. This is a little technique I used to make look like crayon drawing Flash it’s the— it’s the stippled stroke. There’s a stroke in your stroke tool all you Flash animators at home.

MIKE: Stroke.

MATT: It looks sort of like pebbles. Just do several different layers of it and maybe cut and paste the same layer, move it up a little bit. Instant crayon.

MIKE: {imitating child in the email} Christopher Columbus!

RYAN: Wait— wait, this is where Strong Bad gets violent.

MIKE: Yeah this is gonna be good contrast to— here...

MATT: Yeah. I don’t think— I don’t think I wanna watch this part.

MIKE: Strong Bad! Calm down, man!

MATT: You need to cool out, Strong Bad.

RYAN: Does he say, "I’ll kill all you dogs"?

MATT: Yeah.

RYAN: Or "all your dolls?"


RYAN: That’s what I thought he said.

MATT: He’s ang— he’s angry. It’s a little rough. There’s some kids at home who I don’t think could handle that.

RYAN: Yeah. It’s like— it’s like the new Star Wars episodes. Not suitable for children.

MATT: That’s what I hear. The world’s most childish...

MIKE: Hey Ryan. How ‘bout some more finger picking. {Ryan plays a little more} Thank you. That’s nice.

MATT: This is a, uh— this is a sweet intro I think to Homsar’s show.

MIKE: Yeah. I really wanna make this show, or at least watch it. I don’t want to make it. I wanna watch it.

RYAN: I like the, um, the construction paper appearance in this.

MATT: Yeah. Those kids and that orange— that orange I wanna snack on.

MIKE: Those kids are diverse.

MATT: They are! {talks over Mike} They’re from all over the world, Mike.

MIKE: {talks over Matt} There’s some diversity in those kids.

MATT: Haddi-man is accepting of all cultures.

{short pause}

MIKE: And fart noises.

{all laugh}

MIKE: {laughing} I wonder—

RYAN: —like a— statistical analysis on the number of, uh, fart noises or toilets or something like that delay this 1:30.

MATT: Is there?

RYAN: I don’t know. There’s the toilet and the claymation thing that— there’s probably a lot! Not that you guys resort to—

MATT: Who’s uncle? That’s— that’s Ryan right now. Looks just like that guy.

MIKE: He does! His legs crossed like that!

MATT: He’s got his legs crossed, tapping one foot.

MIKE: You need to put some socks on underneath your flip-flops.

{short pause}

MATT: Me! Me! Me! Me! That’s my favorite kid that’s in the background—

RYAN: Does it seem like sandals and socks?

MIKE: I don’t think he is, I just always sort of interpreted those weird lines around his foot as that.

RYAN: Hey guys, I’m sorry if I was implying that you guys do a lot of potty humor.

MIKE: Yeah. We’re gonna cut this out— we’re gonna cut you out of the DVD.

{all laugh}

RYAN: But, I’m not in the DVD.

MATT: You are in the DVD actually.

MIKE: You are cut out!

MATT: Umm—

RYAN: Nothing to cut.

{short pause}

RYAN: Keep it going. Keep it going, bro.

MATT: Keep it going. Low standardized test scores—

MIKE: How long does—

MATT: Let’s keep our standardized test scores low this evening, ladies and gentlemen.

RYAN: Test scores—

MATT: The Paper— Ryan, take us home.

{Ryan’s guitar playing until the end}

Fun Facts

  • The comment that the new Star Wars episodes are not suitable for children refers to the fact that the latest episode, Revenge of the Sith, was rated PG-13, whereas all previous Star Wars movies were rated PG.

See Also

External Links

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