From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 01:39, 28 August 2007 by FlapperPrower (Talk | contribs)
Jump to: navigation, search
Strong Bad Email #176
watch concert original
"What is John missing that Gene has?"

Strong Bad helps John with his hygiene video problem with some help from Embarrassing Educational Films.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Strong Mad, Coach Z, Bubs, Pom Pom, The Sad Kids

Places: Computer Room, The Classroom (Easter egg)

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, August 27, 2007

Running Time: 4:06

Page Title: Lappy 486



STRONG BAD: {singing} Step 1: You check an email down! Step 2: You tell some kid he's a dork!

{Strong Bad pronounces "Katulla" as "Katulalalalala"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Fifth Grade Boys?!?!! Man, what happened to the hot college girls that used to email me? You ladies stop your be-pantied pillowfighting and drop me a line!

{clears screen}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, I suppose I could make a cruddy movie for you, John. But wouldn't it be so much satisfying to make a cruddy hygiene movie about you?

{Cut to a blue background. Jazzy music plays. Yellow letters saying "Embarassing Educational Films" fly into frame. Afterwards the word "presents" appears below them and the "E", "E", and "F" in the title light up. Then we cut to another blue background with yellow letters that say "LESSON 1: SAY 'HI' TO HYGIENE"}

STRONG BAD: Meet John...

{The Text "john" appears and Homestar Runner as John pops up looking all gross looking}

STRONG BAD: John is a cruddy 5th grader. Hi John.

{The Text "hi" appears over the text "john"}

HOMESTAR RUNNER AS JOHN: I'm a latchkey champion!

STRONG BAD: Meet Gene...

{The text "gene" appears. Strong Bad as Gene pops up}

STRONG BAD: Gene is a beacon of light—

{Shows Gene in a lighthouse with the lighthouse shining. The lighthouse grows smaller and enters a stink cloud made by John}

STRONG BAD: —shining through the stink cloud generated by John.

{The Text "hi' appears over the text "gene"}

STRONG BAD AS GENE: TGIG y'all. Thank God I'm Gene.

{Cuts to Gene standing or floating next to Coach Z, Pom-Pom, Bubs and Strong Mad, all having the same hair as Gene}

STRONG BAD: Gene is popular and doesn't get good grades.

{Shows a Fridgin'-A brand refrigerator with a piece paper reading "G-, but sooo charming". Cuts to a closeup of John}

STRONG BAD: John has no friends—

{Shows John sitting in a desk surrounded by two empty desks}

STRONG BAD: —and sits in the front row.

{Cuts to John in a light brown box and Gene in a light blue box}

STRONG BAD: What is John missing that Gene has? Besides rich parents...

{Three bags of money drop in front of Gene}

STRONG BAD: That's right, hygiene!

{"HYGIENE" appears. Cuts to a closeup of Gene}

GENE: Hi, gals.

STRONG BAD: Hygiene—

{A dictionary pops up. A note is taped over the definition of hygiene}

STRONG BAD: —is defined as how close people are willing to stand next to you.

{Cuts to a closeup of John's chest and his star is bent}

STRONG BAD: John wears shabby clothes that smell like chocolate milk—

{A chocolate milk with a thermometer in its mouth and squinted eyes pops up}

STRONG BAD: —with a stomach virus.

{John blows his nose on his star. He puts it back on. It has boogers on it and slides off. Cuts to Gene with two bags next to him}

STRONG BAD: Gene's mom buys all of his clothes for him, but she is young and hot enough for that to be okay.

{A feminine hand with a ring emerges from the left}

GENE'S MOM: {voice} Mommy's got a grown-up headache, Gene. Why don't you take the boat out for a while?

{Hands Gene the keys. Cuts to a bathroom and John walks in}

STRONG BAD: Every morning, John forgets to wash his stupid—

{Cuts to more of a closeup of John's face. It gets closer and closer and closer}

STRONG BAD: —dumb, stinking, fat, smelly, stupid, du—

{Cuts to a closeup of Gene's face}

STRONG BAD: Every morning, the radiant energy from Gene's face—

{Gene puts on two electricity generating wires and shows a light bulb on a pad}

STRONG BAD: —powers a small light bulb.

{The light bulb makes a buzzer noise and lights up. Cuts to a closeup of John's face}

STRONG BAD: John's mouth is an ecological trainwreck.

{John opens his mouth, which has a spider web in it. Stink lines come out of it. Some liquid drips from his mouth}

STRONG BAD: And has a nest of rare South American moths living inside it.

{John burps and a moth flies out of it}

JOHN: Now you be back before din-din, Chauncey.

{Cuts to Gene's face. His mouth is shining}

STRONG BAD: Gene's mouth is a national park...

{A Sign pops up showing a smile, two trees and two mountains}

STRONG BAD: And his saliva is sold—

{Gene spits and it forms into a bottle that says "El Gene's Spit" over South America}

STRONG BAD: —in South America as a wonder drug.

{Cuts to John's room. John is sitting on his bed. There is food scattered all around the room}

STRONG BAD: John leaves food out all over his room.

{Scrolls around the room. Cuts back to the middle}

STRONG BAD: And a family of squatters have taken up residence in a nearby laundry cave.

{Shows The Sad Kids standing in front a pile of laundry carved into a cave. Cuts to Gene's room with a pennant saying "Go Sport" and a wardrobe}

STRONG BAD: Gene's Room has a sixteen car pile-up of race car beds.

{Shows sixteen race car beds stacked on each other. 5 maids and 5 special effects artists appear on top of the pile of race car beds}

STRONG BAD: And a family of 10 maids and special effect artists keep realistically smoldering and burning.

{The pile of race car beds catch on fire}

STRONG BAD: Oh, and they also live in a nearby cave.

{Shows the five maids and five special effects artists standing in front of a cave waving. Cuts to a tube and two jars of cream, powder, and paste}

STRONG BAD: What can John do to change his hygiene?

{Cuts to John dropping the tube and two jars}

STRONG BAD: Nothing at this point. By fifth grade the damage is already done.

{Shows a pie chart that shows "Your Stink" being the biggest, "Your Stonk" after that, followed by "Hot Mom", "Video Games", and "Cool Headband"}

STRONG BAD: And everyone will remember him as a smelly loser no matter what he does.

{Cuts back to John}

STRONG BAD: He'll probably have to wait and go to an out of state college, where he can reinvent himself.

{John transforms into a more typical-looking Homestar, with a small beard and a college shirt}

JOHN: Hooray.

{Cuts to Gene}

STRONG BAD: Gene, on the other hand, better keep up the status quo. {a hand starts poking him} If he slips up the slightest bit, and gets lice {shows his hair with lice jumping up and down}, or has an accident at school, those fifth graders will just descend on him like a ravenous pack of hygiene wolves. And tear him to shreds.

GENE: Hooray...?

STRONG BAD: Bye, Gene!

{Cuts back to the blue background. Jazzy music plays again. Yellow letters saying "Embarassing Educational Films" fly into frame afterwards the word "presents" appears below them and the "E", "E", and "F" in the title light up. Then we cut to another blue background with yellow letters that say "LESSON 2: PANTS PROBLEMS". Cuts back to the Lappy}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Okay John, all done. I hope your friends like my video. And don't worry, in 8 to 9 years you can just hide behind your new identity as a raver, a greaser, or a whatever ancient Egyptian teenagers called themselves. Now get outta here! None of the college hotties'll show up if you're hanging around, Mothmouth.

{New Paper comes down, showing alternating colors below the words "Calibration test". "Click here to email Strong Bad" is nowhere to be seen.}

STRONG BAD: You know, New Paper, you keep sucking just enough to stay interesting.

Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click on "whatever" to see what Coach Z thinks of Strong Bad's video.
{Coach Z and Strong Bad are in the classroom. Strong Bad stands beside a TV stand. The television reads "Embarrassing Educational Films". Coach Z is sitting on a chair in front of the TV.}
COACH Z: I love it! Where can I get me some of this hygiene?
STRONG BAD: You know, for a guy that lives ten feet from a bunch of showers, you think you'd be a little more familiar.
COACH Z: What showers?
STRONG BAD: Uh, that big tiled room with all the shower heads coming out of the wall?
COACH Z: I thought thems were my dripping broken speakers! I got mad four-inch tweeters, B!
  • At the end, click on "ancient" to see a tribute to Matt and Jackie's recently deceased cat, Mabel.
  • At the end, click on "Mothmouth" to see a Strong Badman comic cover about Moth Mouth.

Fun Facts


  • A calibration test is a test performed on many color printers to help the user adjust the colors it produces, and aid alignment of the heads of ink or toner cartridges.
  • Tweeters are speakers designed to produce high-pitched frequencies.
  • A raver is a person who goes to raves, all night, often illegal, parties. These parties and the music associated with it peaked primarily in Europe in the early 1990s.
  • A greaser was a subculture that originated in the 1950s and saw a revival in the 1970s. The distinguishing characteristics were jeans, leather jackets and slicked back hair.


  • At the end, the paper prints out a Calibration Test. You can still click on the lines to e-mail Strong Bad, however.
  • We have seen Coach Z take a shower before in the second deleted scene of In Search of the Yello Dello.
  • During the video, an artifact has been added in so that the quality looks VHS-grade; this is visible on many of the characters and objects.
  • The actual obscured dictionary definition for hygiene reads "Conditions and practices that serve to promote or preserve health." This definition is from The American Heritage Dictionary.
  • The floppy disk Strong Bad put in the New Paper in the last email is no longer there.


  • When Homestar's hat is backward, part of the bottom of the bill is cut off.

Inside References

Real-World References

  • THX is a hi-fidelity sound reproduction system most commonly used in movies. It was developed by Lucasfilm for the Star Wars movies.
  • Homestar's line "I'm a latchkey champion" refers to latchkey kids, a term applied to children that are often left alone in the house.
  • The video parodies a style of educational film known as Goofus & Gallant, where two characters are used to contrast good and bad social behavior, accompanied by heavy handed narration. This style of film was most commonly used in the 1950s and 1960s.
  • TGIG-Thank God I'm Gene comes from the acronym TGIF-Thank God It's Friday.
  • The Strong Badman easter egg is a homage to the cover of Uncanny X-Men #28

External Links

Personal tools