isp

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 20:33, 16 May 2006

"Ma'am, please calm down. Your CD tray is not a cup holder."

Gary from the UK asks about Strong Bad's ISP.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Bubs, Strong Mad

Places: Computer Room, The Office, The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand, The Garage

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: May 16, 2006

Running Time: 3:23

Page Title: Lappy 486

Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing}A badaladoo, it's time for email, bra-doop-ba-dabadoo.

subject: ISP

Dear Strong Bad,
Since you answer emails, you must have some sort of internet, right? What kind of internet to you guys get in Strong Badia? Who runs it? Is it expensive?
Your bestest buddy in the whole wide world,
Gary, UK

{Strong Bad says "Not even close," very quickly after "Your bestest buddy in the whole wide world," and says "UK" as, "You 'kay?"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Yeah I'm fine, Gary. Calm down. Of course I've got the internet. How else could I download this awesome animated gif/gif of a cute breakdancing rodent. {Pronounces "gif/gif" as /gif/, /jif/}

{A progress bar pops up with a ding that says "11% Complete" with "Less than a fortnight remaining" below}

STRONG BAD: {typing} WHAT??!! Eleven percent? I started downloading this thing like two days ago! Oh that's IT!! Hold on to your fat, sweaty D&D playing headsets, tech support. 'Cuz Strong Bad's about to Do-Sum-Bow-Dis!

{The camera rotates around the Lappy to a rear view as Strong Bad picks up the telephone. There is a phone ringing sound and the screen is split by a phone cord with Homestar Runner in the office on the left and Strong Bad on the right. On Homestar's cubicle wall there is a Post-It Note that reads "Note to self: Chew more." Homestar wears a headset.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thank you for calling the internet, may I have your account number or identity theft, please?

STRONG BAD: No, but you can have a heapin' helpin' of my unbridled rage!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {reading slowly from sheets of paper} Ma'am, please calm down. Your CD tray is not a cup holder. {turns page} I cannot help you clear your browser cache. No, I'm not in India. {puts papers down}

STRONG BAD: Shut up and listen. {bangs hand on keyboard} My internet is crawling along like... something... funny... that crawls along.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right, I can help you with that. Please hold while I transfer you to someone who can help you with that.

STRONG BAD: {incredulous} What?!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Doo doot-tsp. Do doo doot-tsp. Do doo doot-tsp.

{Cut to a long shot of the office as Homestar stands up. Homestar is the only visible tech representative.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {still singing} It's the hold music, do doot-tsp. Pa doo doot-tsp. Doodoo doo doot-tsp. {high pitched voice} Hold music!

{Cut back to the splitscreen as Homestar sits down.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thank you for holding. Your call is very unportant to us. The next available representative wi—okay, I'm back! Lemme just verify your address so I can send you my weight in free sign-up CDs.

STRONG BAD: Ugh, enough! {bangs hand against keyboard again} I'm marching my pasty white bwahttom down there to talk to the man in charge!

{He slams the phone down and walks offscreen during Homestar's next line.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm so glad we could get that resolved. Is there anything else I could—

{Cut to Strong Bad marching across The Field at dusk as march music plays in the background. Strong Bad ends up at Bubs' Concession Stand.}

BUBS: {as the camera zooms in} Well if it isn't my lone internet customer. How's e-business?

{Cut to Strong Bad from inside the concession stand.}

STRONG BAD: Now listen here, old man Bubs! What's the big idea of throttling me down?!

BUBS: Throttling you down?! That's not one of the ninety-nine ways I rip you off!

STRONG BAD: Well, back in the day I used to connect at twelve-hundred baud, but ever since the merger I'm lucky if I get twelve baud.

BUBS: Hmm.

{Cut back to Bubs.}

BUBS: Let's head down to the datum center and see what we can find.

STRONG BAD: Dat'um sounds good.

{Cut to the garage which is currently housing several computers with Bubs' face on them and is sporting a sign labelled, "Datum Center".}

BUBS: {indicating the computers} So this is where the magic happens. I wonder where the trouble could be.

STRONG BAD: {sarcastically} Yeah, I wonder.

{Camera pulls back to reveal a computer with a garden hose sticking out of it and smoke issuing from the back}

STRONG BAD: It's probably not this computer with the garden hose coming out of it.

BUBS: Hey! Somebody's suckin' up all my bandwidth!

{Cut to a hole in the wall with the garden hose running through, then outside to Strong Mad sucking on the end of the hose. Strong Bad and Bubs walk up.}

STRONG BAD: Strong Mad!

{Startled, Strong Mad takes the hose out of his mouth. His mouth is now tiny.}

STRONG MAD: {in a high-pitched voice} I'm a website!

{Cut to Strong Bad and Bubs as they both start laughing. The laughter gets more and more hysterical until it reaches a psychotic peak. At that point we cut back to the Lappy as the progress bar fills up. The words "Less than a fortnight remaining" have been replaced by "Already?" The Lappy's screen then shows an animated gif of a rat dancing to computer music. The rat is replaced by yellow text that says "NOT REALLY BREAK DANCING" and The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

CD Runner

• After Homestar Runner comes back from the hold music and asks for Strong Bad's address, click on the post-it note that reads "note to self: chew more" to see a picture of Homestar's weight in free sign-up CDs.
• At the end of the email, click on the "O" in "Not Really Break Dancing" to see a collection of free sign-up CDs in the shape of Homestar running played backed by music similar to the Theme Song Video.

Fun Facts

Explanations

• Baud is measure of the symbol rate made to the transmission medium per second in a digitally modulated signal, however Strong Bad makes a common mistake by confusing it with "bits per second"
• Datum is the singular form of the word data.
• A Fortnight is a period of two weeks. The word "fortnight" is most often used in the UK, which is where the e-mailer is from.
• Throttling is a limitation on a computer's ability to call data from a server within a certain period of time, and is used to alleviate network congestion and server crashes that result from too many incoming connections.

Trivia

• This is the first time Bubs has been seen openly laughing. He previously suppressed his laughter at "Da Bee" in Pumpkin Carve-nival.

Remarks

The lappy's back panel

• It is unclear how Strong Bad is connected to the Internet - there does not appear to be a network cable plugged in to the back of the Lappy, and it is unlikely that the computer has a wireless connection. However, it is possible that Strong Bad's Internet connection works in a similar way to the Disconnected Telephones.
• The GIF file format does not support any form of sound on its own. The animation that Strong Bad downloaded is either not a true animated GIF, or it is embedded in a webpage that also contains embedded sound.
• When Homestar says the word "internet" after he first answers Strong Bad's call, he speaks without his trademark speech impediment.
• Bubs refers to Strong Bad as his lone internet customer. It is unknown whether Free Country USA has other ISPs, but Strong Sad, the Cheat and Homestar all seem to be connected to the internet too. However, The Cheat and Strong Sad would presumably use Strong Bad's internet connection since their computers are in the same residence, and it's possible Homestar gets his connection for free as an employment benefit.

Goofs

• The last time Homestar imitates the hi-hat noise in his hold music, his mouth doesn't move.

Inside References

• Strong Mad first unsuccessfully attempted to alter his voice in helium.
• Strong Bad's confusion over the pronunciation of the word "GIF" is a reference to website.
  • Strong Bad was also first seen using an animated GIF involving a rodent in that email.
• We first saw a pumping hose in lunch special.
• The Easter egg at the end refers to Bug In Mouth Disease, which in turn refers to Theme Song Video.
• The icon of a 5 1/4 inch floppy disc on the download-progress screen is another instance of Strong Bad using outdated technology.
• The tech support scene also has a Disconnected Telephone.

Real World References

• D&D stands for Dungeons & Dragons, a popular pen and paper role-playing game that, like working in tech support, is often associated with "geek culture".

External Links

• watch "isp"
• watch "isp" on the old Flash site
• view the Flash file for "isp"
• forum thread re: "isp"