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Strong Bad Email #152
watch senior prom redesign

Strang Mod blows up String Bed's Internet.

Cast (in order of appearance): ....

Places: .....

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Running Time: 3:23

Page Title: Internet Intervention

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Five, Sbemails' 50 Greatest Hits DVD



{As soon as Strong Bad says "hack", Dr. Breen from Half-Life 2 chucks a computer at Strong Bad}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Yeah, I'm fine, Gary. Garry's Mod. Of course I've got the internet. How else could I download this awesome animated gif of a breakdancing penis?

{The screen displays meatspin while the song "Ridin' Spinnaz" by Three 6 Mafia plays. After a few seconds, a blue screen with a progress bar reading "7% complete." pops up}

STRONG BAD: {typing} What??!! Seven percent? Oh, that's IT!! Hold on to your fat, sweaty cocks, tech support. 'Cuz Strong Bad's about to Do-Dis!

{The camera rotates around the Lappy to a rear view as Strong Bad picks up the telephone. There is a phone ringing sound and the screen is split by a phone cord with Homestar Runner in the office on the left and Strong Bad on the right. On Homestar's cubicle wall there is a Post-It Note that has a picture of MOAR Krabs; Homestar wears a headset.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thank you for calling the internet, may I have your identity please?

STRONG BAD: No, but you can {demonic overtone with red colors in background} have a heapin' helpin' of my unbridled rage!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {reading slowly from sheets of paper} Ma'am, please calm down. Your CD tray is a cup holder. {turns page} I can help you clear your browser cache. I'm in India.

STRONG BAD: Shut up and listen, you fuck. {Homestar drops the papers in surprise. Strong Bad bangs his hand on keyboard; the keyboard blows up} My internet's crawling along like... something... funny... that crawls along. Like...a penis.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: All right, I can help you with that. Please hold while I transfer you to someone who can help you with that.

STRONG BAD: {incredulous} What?!

{"Remind Me" by Royskopp plays}

{Cut to a long shot of the office as Homestar stands up lipsynching. Homestar is the only visible tech representative.}

{Cut back to the splitscreen as Homestar sits down.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {in a telephone voice} Thank you for holding. Your call is very unportant to us.

STRONG BAD: Ugh! {bangs hand against keyboard again; the keyboard explodes like an atom bomb} I'm marching my pasty white ass down there to talk to the nigga in charge!

{He walks offscreen.}

BUBS: {as the camera zooms in} Well if it isn't my lone internet customer. How's e-business?

{Cut to Strong Bad from inside the concession stand.}

STRONG BAD: Now listen here, nigga! What's the big idea of throttling me down?!

{Cut to the front of Bubs}

BUBS: {warbled voice effect as screen shakes} Throttling you down?! {rising arms up} That's one of the ninety-nine ways I rip you off! {lowering arms back down}

{Cut to Strong Bad from inside the concession stand.}

STRONG BAD: Well, back in the day I used to connect at twelve-hundred baud, but ever since I get twelve-hundred baud, I'm lucky if I get twelve-hundred baud!

BUBS: Hmm...

{Cut back to Bubs.}

BUBS: Let's head down {raising left arm for directions} to the Dayum Datum Center and see what we can find.

STRONG BAD: Datum sounds good. Dayum.

BUBS: {indicating the computers with his right arm} So this is where the magic happens. {right arm scratching his head} I wonder where the trouble could be.

STRONG BAD: {sarcastically} Yeah, I wonder.

{Camera pulls back to reveal a computer with a garden hose sticking out of it and fire issuing from the back along with brown liquid dripping out}

STRONG BAD: It's probably not this computer with the rocket pump coming out of it.

BUBS: {in Woody's voice} ROCKETS EXPLODE!!!

{The computer blows up in a fiery explosion}

STRONG BAD: {during the explosion} Strong Mad!

{Cuts to text that reads "Strong Mad blew up the Internet. :P LOL"}

{We cut back to the Lappy. For a moment, the status bar reads "99%" and has "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..." written below where it previously read "7% complete." With the same ding as before, this is replaced by "100%" and "Already?!!" The Lappy's screen then shows the meatspin gif from earlier along with the music. It is then replaced by yellow text that says "NOT A REAL PENIS" and The Paper comes down reading "Copyright 2012 Viacom.}

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