lady fan
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Strong Bad Email #147 |
|
Strong Bad tries to impress an emailer's new lady fan.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, The Cheat, Marzipan
Places: Computer Room, Gymnasium, Strong Bad's Laundry Room, Marzipan's House
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: March 6, 2006
Running Time: 3:29
Page Title: Lappy 486
Contents |
Transcript
STRONG BAD: How many emails can you check? Five, twelve, seven, shut up.
{reading}
subject: extra coolDear Strong Bad,
My new lady fan does not like you so much. Should I
just call it quits now or can you do something extra special
cool to impress her?
Buck Webb
Houston, Tejas
{Strong Bad reads "Houston" as "Hooston".}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Buck Webb? You sound like one of those boring soap-opera comic strips from the, {stops typing} quote-un-quote, {resumes typing} "funny" pages.
{An example of a boring soap-opera comic pops up. It is titled "Buck Webb, Extraordinaire". Music begins playing. When characters talk, speech balloons appear.}
BUCK: I'm afraid it's Splittsville for us, Lady Fan... if you don't take a shine to Strong Bad!
LADY FAN: {drippy speech balloon} Oh, Buck...
{Cut to the next panel. Lady fan is holding a gun up to Buck.}
LADY FAN: I'll give Strong Bad a chance. In fact...
{Cut to next panel, of a turtle in a pool, with the caption "Sea turtles eat a wide variety of food".}
LADY FAN: ... I think I'm falling for him. Like, big time.
BUCK: C'mon, baby. Stay with me.
{Next panel. Buck is holding a yoga DVD.}
BUCK: I'll buy you a new yoga DVD.
{Next panel. Lady fan is crying and there is a caption "Back in Des Moines..."}
LADY FAN: I'll... think about it!!!
{Cut away from the comic. The Lappy's screen has been cleared.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} We both know who she's gonna choose, Buck. Is that what you want? But hey, you asked for it. And as you know, when people send me stupid emails, I'm obligated by law to do what they say. So, extra special cool coming right up!
{Cut to a gymnasium.}
STRONG BAD: Nothing's more ESC than one-handed push-ups. Coupla these bad boys oughta do the trick! Here-a I-a go-a!
{Strong Bad attempts to do a one-handed push-up, but falls down. The scoreboard buzzes and turns to -1.}
STRONG BAD: Oh, did I say "one-handed push-ups"? Those things are lame. Real men play two-handed push-ups! We'll start with fifty and see how we feel. Here-sa I-sa go-sa!
{Strong Bad attempts to do a two-handed push up. Beads of sweat appear on his forehead, but he is unable to lift himself off the ground. The scoreboard buzzes and turns to -51.}
STRONG BAD: I can't do ONE push up?! I used to be able to do like four. Maybe I need to start workin' out.
{Homestar Runner appears, dressed as a work-out instructor.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Boy, I'll say you do. One, two, and flex your pecs! Give it eight more! And five! Twees it out! C'mon y'all! Just twees it out!
STRONG BAD: Twees it out?
{Homestar turns around to show Strong Bad his rear. Strong Bad looks away and blocks the image with his hand.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Your buttweesimo! We're gonna mold that twees into the Iron Sheik!
{Homestar looks toward Strong Bad's "twees". Strong Bad replies by covering it with both hands.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Just six more now! Eight and four! Shake it freely, twees it out!
STRONG BAD: Yeah, cool. I'm gonna go ahead and need you to never say "twees it out" ever again.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: You're doing great! Now shoulders down! One and two...
{Strong Bad walks towards the viewer. Homestar continues to stretch in the background.}
STRONG BAD: What'll really impress your lady fan is a cute, fluffy The Cheat—
{Scene changes to the laundry room.}
STRONG BAD: Fresh from the dryer!
{Strong Bad opens the dryer, revealing a fluffy The Cheat.}
STRONG BAD: Awww, look at him! All cottony soft...
{Strong Bad tries to pet The Cheat but is shocked by static electricity. Then The Cheat starts turning green and his The Cheat noises turn queasy.}
STRONG BAD: AHHHH! Jeez, use a dryer sheet, man. Uh oh, this is not looking extra special cool.
{Strong Bad closes the dryer door just as The Cheat throws up.}
STRONG BAD: Don't worry, little buddy. We'll just throw you back in the wash.
{Some vomit runs out the corner of the dryer door. Homestar returns, still in his work-out uniform.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Back in the wash. Come on, come on! Twees it, twees it, zabaradoo!
STRONG BAD: Get it out of here, Wretched Simmons! I'm trying to get some girl to like some guy I don't know!
{Homestar bobs up and down twice more. Scene changes to Strong Bad and Marzipan sitting at a table with a "CAT MESS" kitty litter bag, pie pan with some kitty litter in it, a glue gun, envelopes, and scissors.}
STRONG BAD: One thing I definitely know about the lady fans is that they all like crappy arts and crafts projects.
MARZIPAN: Today we're going to make a real creative centerpiece out of junk mail and kitty litter.
STRONG BAD: {sarcastically} Sounds heavenly...
MARZIPAN: {picks up an envelope and begins to cut it with the scissors} Now first of all I want you to take your snip-sniparooskies-- and that's what we call our scissors...
STRONG BAD: {overlapping, uninterested} Uh-huh...
MARZIPAN: {cut to a closeup of the envelope} ...and then just a little crinkle cut right here on the northern edge...
{Cut back to wide shot. Marzipan becomes angry at Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD: UGH! Never mind! What the lady fans really want is some {high-pitched echo-y screaming} PYROTECHNICS!!!
{Strong Bad throws the BMW Lighter onto the table, causing multiple explosions that turn everything to ashes, including Marzipan's hair. The ashen remains of the "CAT MESS" bag collapse.}
MARZIPAN: Strong Bad, you're a horse's twees.
{The remains of the glue gun collapse as well. Cut back to the Lappy.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} There you have it, Buck. Oh wait...
{Changes to comic strip version of Strong Bad talking to Buck.}
STRONG BAD: There you have it, Buck! If that floozy's not all up ons after that, you gotta drop her like a trig class, see??!!??!
{Next panel, solo shot of Buck.}
BUCK: Tight, Strong Bad. Real tight.
{Next panel, silhouettes of Strong Bad and Buck looking at work-out Homestar.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's right. Keep that twees real tight. Flex it, flex it, shoulder stance.
{Next panel, a comic book version of The Paper. The Paper noise is heard. A caption reads "PREEEOW!!"}
Easter Eggs
- Click the scoreboard after Strong Bad calls one-handed push-ups lame to see a blue bumper sticker that says "Real Men Play Two Handed Push-ups!!" with a small image of a soccer ball in the corner.
- At the end, click on the printer's green button to see Homestar's weight-loss DVD, titled "Tweesercize". The box reads:
Tweesercise with Homestar Runner Loose weight? 6 minutes long!!!
Fun Facts
Explanations
- Strong Bad's opening intro is similar to one of the many songs schoolgirls often chant while jumping rope.
- "Tejas" is a Spanish spelling of Texas. Strong Bad pronounces it correctly as "TEH-hahs".
Remarks
- This is the first time we see Strong Bad perspire.
- While Strong Bad may not be able to do push-ups, he was able to literally throw Homestar and The King of Town out of his house in secret identity. He was also able to knock Homestar senseless in car with what is assumed to be his off hand.
- This is another instance of The Paper not coming down normally, this time being shown coming out of what appears to be an Epson L-1000 dot matrix printer. The first time The Paper appeared out of a printer was in Email Processing Room.
Goofs
- Marzipan's scissors do not close properly. Their handles touch before the blades run past each other.
Inside References
- The score counter going negative refers to an Easter egg in montage.
- Strong Bad locking The Cheat in the dryer is a reference to 2 years.
- This is another appearance of the BMW Lighter.
- Buck Webb emailing from "Tejas" is a reference to Strong Bad's pronunciation of Texas in boring (really) and property of ones.
- The phrase "All up ons" originated in suntan.
Real-World References
- The soap-opera-type comic pokes fun at comics not written to be funny, such as Rex Morgan, M.D., which are found in most newspaper Funny Pages.
- The panel with a sea turtle is a reference to the drama/information comic strip Mark Trail.
- "Wretched Simmons" refers to fitness guru Richard Simmons.
- The Iron Sheik is a wrestler, and a former WWF Champion in the 1980s.
- Strong Bad saying, "I'm gonna go ahead and need you to..." is very similar to the catchphrase of boss Bill Lundbergh in the film Office Space: "I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow..."
- Homestar's "buttweesimo" may be a reference to the Italian suffix -issimo, which is used as a superlative. Taken literally, "buttweesimo" would mean "the most butt", which could further be interpreted as "the largest butt".
External Links
- watch "lady fan"
- watch "lady fan" on the old Flash site
- view the Flash file for "lady fan"
- forum thread re: "lady fan"
