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Strong Bad discusses what sort of merchandise he has licensed.
Strong Bad discusses what sort of merchandise he has licensed.
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'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Strong Bad}}, {{film|Biscuitdoughhandsman}}, [[Shut Up, Lady|Lady]], {{Film|Senor Cardgage}} (Voice only), {{film|Coach Z}}, {{film|The Cheat}}, {{film|Pom Pom}}, {{film|Bubs}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}
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'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{film|Strong Bad}}, [[Biscuitdoughhandsman]], [[Shut Up, Lady|Lady]], {{Film|Senor Cardgage}} (Voice only), {{film|Coach Z}}, {{film|The Cheat}}, {{film|Pom Pom}}, {{film|Bubs}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}
'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Papa Cardgage's Puddin' Patch]], [[Bubs' Concession Stand]]
'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[Papa Cardgage's Puddin' Patch]], [[Bubs' Concession Stand]]
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''{Cut to shot of paper towel roll with pictures of Biscuitdoughhandsman and Basil.}''
''{Cut to shot of paper towel roll with pictures of Biscuitdoughhandsman and Basil.}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' —years ago, and no one knows who the crap he is.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' —years ago, but no one knows who the crap he is.
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'''LADY:''' Get this, Vera, it's exorbitantly absorbent!
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'''OLD LADY:''' Get this, Vera, it's exorbitantly absorbent!
'''STRONG BAD:''' Shut up, lady! ''{cut back to Lappy}'' No, the true sign of being famous is in the ''unlicensed'' stuff! And we're all over that! In fact, we've got our own application process for becoming an officially licensed ''unlicensed'' seller of Strong Bad and The Cheat knock-offs.
'''STRONG BAD:''' Shut up, lady! ''{cut back to Lappy}'' No, the true sign of being famous is in the ''unlicensed'' stuff! And we're all over that! In fact, we've got our own application process for becoming an officially licensed ''unlicensed'' seller of Strong Bad and The Cheat knock-offs.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' They ''love'' to illegally use trademarked characters to earn desperate parents' trust.
'''STRONG BAD:''' They ''love'' to illegally use trademarked characters to earn desperate parents' trust.
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'''SENOR CARDGAGE:''' ''{singing to the tune of "Frère Jacques"}'' Where is Tompkins? Where is coleslaw? Here I am!
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'''SENOR CARDGAGE:''' ''{singing to the tune of "Frère Jacques"}'' Where is Tompkins? Where is Cole Slaw? Here I am!
''{Cut to a rear view of the Lappy.}''
''{Cut to a rear view of the Lappy.}''
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===Explanations===
===Explanations===
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*The chalk tracing in Papa Cardgage's PUDDIN' PATCH is a cliché to indicate earlier presence of a dead body.
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*The chalk tracing in Papa Cardgage's PUDDIN' PATCH is a movie cliché to indicate earlier presence of a dead body, which was done to appease censors disliking the depiction of an actual dead body.
*Strong Bad's mention of DVD movie releases refers to the practice of producing cheap versions of public domain stories that are rushed to the shelves to capitalize on the success of major children's releases (such as [[Wikipedia:Golden Films|Golden Films]]' adaptations of fairy tales popularized by [[Disney]]).
*Strong Bad's mention of DVD movie releases refers to the practice of producing cheap versions of public domain stories that are rushed to the shelves to capitalize on the success of major children's releases (such as [[Wikipedia:Golden Films|Golden Films]]' adaptations of fairy tales popularized by [[Disney]]).
*A flasher is someone who indecently exposes themselves in public.
*A flasher is someone who indecently exposes themselves in public.
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**Republic of [[King Of Town|Wad]]
**Republic of [[King Of Town|Wad]]
**Double [[G]]
**Double [[G]]
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**West Paunch
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**[[East/West X|West]] [[Paunch]]
**Guttenberg
**Guttenberg
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*The DVD cases have "D'''B'''D" written on the top edge of the cases' spines.
 
*The label on the [[Floppy Disk Container]] reads "[[Floppy Disk Container#return to zork|return to zork]]".
*The label on the [[Floppy Disk Container]] reads "[[Floppy Disk Container#return to zork|return to zork]]".
*Some of the merchandise depicts [[Strong Bad smiling]].
*Some of the merchandise depicts [[Strong Bad smiling]].
*The summary for the [[Podstar Runner]] RSS feed reads, "Find out how to become an officially licensed unlicensed seller of Strong Bad knock-offs."
*The summary for the [[Podstar Runner]] RSS feed reads, "Find out how to become an officially licensed unlicensed seller of Strong Bad knock-offs."
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*The [[YouTube]] description for this email is "Learn how to become an officially licensed UNlicensed seller of Strong Bad and The Cheat knock-offs."
 
===Remarks===
===Remarks===
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*The Strong Bad [[Store Accessories#Beanie Caps|beanie cap]], which is among the items in Bubs' coat, is actually a licensed piece of Strong Bad merchandise, and is sold in the [[store]].
*The Strong Bad [[Store Accessories#Beanie Caps|beanie cap]], which is among the items in Bubs' coat, is actually a licensed piece of Strong Bad merchandise, and is sold in the [[store]].
*The chalk tracing in Papa Cardgage's PUDDIN' PATCH appears to trace a person taller than the restroom entrance.
*The chalk tracing in Papa Cardgage's PUDDIN' PATCH appears to trace a person taller than the restroom entrance.
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*Strong Bad says "If I ever have kids..." even though in [[secret identity]], he claims to have kids under his [[Secret Identities#Vance Mudgeman|Vance Mudgeman]] persona.
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*Strong Bad says "If I ever have kids..." even though in [[secret identity]], he claims to have kids.
*When Bubs shows Pom Pom his merchandise, the legs of the Strong Bad piñatas are below the bottom of the coat, yet they are not visible when his coat is closed.
*When Bubs shows Pom Pom his merchandise, the legs of the Strong Bad piñatas are below the bottom of the coat, yet they are not visible when his coat is closed.
*The Podstar Runner version cuts out the line "That junk was still my best birthdays ever." This line was restored in the [[YouTube]] version.
*The Podstar Runner version cuts out the line "That junk was still my best birthdays ever." This line was restored in the [[YouTube]] version.
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*Strong Bad says that one of the requirements to be a licensed unlicensed seller is that their Strong Bad and The Cheat-related merchandise have to have a human nose, but the DVDs, the Cheets, and the Strong Brush all have no human noses on either Strong Bad or The Cheat.
 
===Goofs===
===Goofs===
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===Inside References===
===Inside References===
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*Strong Bad says, "[[Shut up, lady]]" to the woman talking about the [[paper towels]].
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*Strong Bad says "[[Shut up, lady]]."
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*Strong Bad says, "[[You know, the kind]]..."
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*Strong Bad's mentioning of dog tracks is an example of [[Gambling|gambling]].
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*Strong Bad's mentioning of dog tracks is an example of [[gambling]].
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*The Easter egg where Homestar sees [[The Cheat Flying]] and thinks he's an ugly bird is a reference to [[helium]].
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*The Easter egg where Homestar sees [[The Cheat flying]] and thinks he's an ugly bird is a reference to [[helium]].
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*Senor Cardgage mentions [[Tompkins]], a character from [[Teen Girl Squad]].
*Senor Cardgage mentions [[Tompkins]], a character from [[Teen Girl Squad]].
*Homestar's glass-strewn face has [[blood]] coming out of several wounds.
*Homestar's glass-strewn face has [[blood]] coming out of several wounds.
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*Homestar says he had the "[[Best/Worst X Ever|best birthdays ever]]", which is also an example of using [[plural instead of singular]].
*Homestar says he had the "[[Best/Worst X Ever|best birthdays ever]]", which is also an example of using [[plural instead of singular]].
*Strong Bad dressed as a princess is an instance of [[cross-dressing]].
*Strong Bad dressed as a princess is an instance of [[cross-dressing]].
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*Coach Z says Strong Bad is "[[twice]]".
 
===Real-World References===
===Real-World References===
*Senor Cardgage sings to the tune of [[Wikipedia:Frère Jacques|Frère Jacques]]. His version is very similar to the [[Wikipedia:Alternative lyrics to Frère Jacques#Where is Thumbkin?|Where is Thumbkin?]] variation.
*Senor Cardgage sings to the tune of [[Wikipedia:Frère Jacques|Frère Jacques]]. His version is very similar to the [[Wikipedia:Alternative lyrics to Frère Jacques#Where is Thumbkin?|Where is Thumbkin?]] variation.
*The "Cheets" candies are similar both in name and shape to the chick-shaped marshmallow Easter candies called [[Wikipedia:Peeps|Peeps]].
*The "Cheets" candies are similar both in name and shape to the chick-shaped marshmallow Easter candies called [[Wikipedia:Peeps|Peeps]].
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*The picture of The Cheat as a mouse with antennae is reminiscent of [[Wikipedia:Winnie the Pooh|Winnie the Pooh]], who carried a similar honey pot, as well as [[Wikipedia:The Wuzzles|Bumblelion]] from the Wuzzles T.V. show.
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*The picture of The Cheat as a mouse with antennae is reminiscent of [[Wikipedia:Winnie the Pooh|Winnie the Pooh]], who carried a similar honey pot.
*The cover of "Jungle Animals in Decidedly Non-Jungle Situations" shows The Cheat as a toucan, whose blue plumage and colored beak bear a strong resemblance to [[Wikipedia:Froot Loops|Froot Loops]] mascot [[Wikipedia:Toucan Sam|Toucan Sam]].
*The cover of "Jungle Animals in Decidedly Non-Jungle Situations" shows The Cheat as a toucan, whose blue plumage and colored beak bear a strong resemblance to [[Wikipedia:Froot Loops|Froot Loops]] mascot [[Wikipedia:Toucan Sam|Toucan Sam]].
*"The Secret Princess and Her Oppressive Authority Figure 4" resembles the [[Disney]] films ''[[Wikipedia:Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937 film)|Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs]]'' and ''[[Wikipedia: Cinderella (1950 film)|Cinderella]]'' (to which two sequels had already been made).
*"The Secret Princess and Her Oppressive Authority Figure 4" resembles the [[Disney]] films ''[[Wikipedia:Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937 film)|Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs]]'' and ''[[Wikipedia: Cinderella (1950 film)|Cinderella]]'' (to which two sequels had already been made).
*The spinning [[sugar]] toothbrush is a parody of Cap Spin Pop candies, which have battery-powered bases to rotate little lollipops with.  Strong Bad refers to it as a toothbrush because novelty electric toothbrushes often have cartoon characters, moving parts, and bright colors in order to better appeal to children.
*The spinning [[sugar]] toothbrush is a parody of Cap Spin Pop candies, which have battery-powered bases to rotate little lollipops with.  Strong Bad refers to it as a toothbrush because novelty electric toothbrushes often have cartoon characters, moving parts, and bright colors in order to better appeal to children.
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===Fast Forward===
 
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*Homestar would again appear with broken glass in his face in [[sbemail206]].
 
==DVD Version==
==DVD Version==
{{commentary|email=true}}
{{commentary|email=true}}
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{{sectionstub}}
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===Commentary Transcript===
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('''Commentary by:''' [[Matt Chapman]], [[Mike Chapman]], [[Strong Bad]])
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'''MATT:''' Hi, Mike.
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'''MIKE:''' Hi... Matt. Regu— regular Matt? Or...
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'''MATT:''' Uh...
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'''MIKE:''' ...a little bit different Matt?
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'''MATT:''' Uh... ''{mumbles incoherently as his voice changes to Strong Bad's}'' Whoa!
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'''MIKE:''' Oh, Strong Bad!
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah!
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'''MIKE:''' What's up?
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'''STRONG BAD:''' I don't know! ...Uh, what do you think? Sh&mdash; should we do some pillows? I feel like we've actually gotten some&mdash; some requests, uh, from, overtures <!-- transcriber's note: I'm not sure if that's the correct word --> from people that were making&mdash;
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'''MIKE:''' I think&mdash;
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'''STRONG BAD and MIKE:''' ''{simultaneously}'' &mdash;pillows&mdash;
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'''MIKE:''' &mdash;and, like&mdash;
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'''STRONG BAD:''' &mdash;party napkins.
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'''MIKE:''' ''{simultaneously}'' &mdash;blankets. Yeah.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Party napkins. You ever had those at your kids' parties?
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'''MIKE:''' We politely declined, by not responding to the email.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{chuckling}'' Yeah, that's the best way to do it. ''{pause until the Biscuitdoughhandsman paper towel is shown}'' Oh, look at those! Basil! ''{Mike chuckles}'' Umm, so, there's like... there was some kind of paper towel brand that I saw the other day, and it was advertising some lady that had claimed I should like her designs on my paper towels.
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'''MIKE:''' Maybe Mary Englebert?
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'''STRONG BAD and MIKE:''' ''{simultaneously}'' Yeah.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' And I think I just made her some radio, ''{Mike laughs}'' to make it look like she was more desirable.
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'''MIKE:''' She had, maybe, some kind of country home-style illustrations?
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, definitely.
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'''MIKE:''' Of a butter germ?
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Abso-looch.
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'''MIKE:''' Did you just burp? ''{laughs}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{chuckling}'' I did. Excuse me. Oh! Check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out, check it out! Mike?
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'''MIKE:''' Yeah? I think Bubs does it.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Did you do that drawing of my face?
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'''MIKE:''' I did.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' That was pretty good!
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'''MIKE:''' I implemented a different style.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheater?
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'''MIKE:''' The Cheater?
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'''STRONG BAD:''' That's what they&mdash; you called The Cheat in that drawing.
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'''MIKE:''' Oh. ''{chuckles}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, look at Guff!
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'''MIKE:''' ''{laughs}'' And who's the little guy to the far right of the building?
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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{chuckling}'' That's the... Puh-cheat. Puh-cheat, they call&mdash;! ...Uh, so we got a lotta shady daycares around where you live, Mike.
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'''MIKE:''' Yeah, there's a couple. Yeah.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Li'l Puddin's?
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'''MIKE:''' Li'l Puddin's, that's right! There's several 24-hour ones.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Yep. There's always a nice barbed-wire fence, or at least a jaggedy top fence. You know, you can't just hop with a hand, it'll gouge you out.
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'''MIKE:''' ''{chuckles}'' Just down the street, there's Billy and Alex's, that's writ&mdash; uh, written in masking tape, it looks like.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah.
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'''MIKE:''' Over top of what it used to be called. ''{laughs as Strong Bad talks}''
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoever the former proprietors were... Look at that toucan Cheat!
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'''MIKE:''' ''{of the CHEETS}'' I think that's a Cheater, too.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' So strengthened DVD, it hurts. ''{exclaims in disgust as the "Strong Badge: The Movie" pop appears}''
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'''MIKE:''' Oh, look at that ersatz gummi drop, actually.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah. I remember... There's some serious&mdash; I think it was, Spider-Man 3 came out, and there was some serious disgusting gel-ular gummi toys for his head.
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''{Strong Bad and Coach Z are talking}''
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'''MIKE:''' What do you think's inside your piñata there?
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, I should hope there's a couple of... razor blades, maybe like&mdash; But I mean, not like, open razor blades, like, ones for like, a razor, like, to shave&mdash;
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'''MIKE:''' Oh, like a&mdash;
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'''STRONG BAD:''' A pack of&mdash;
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'''MIKE:''' A Quattro, maybe!
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, Mach 5's... a pack of them&mdash; those things are expensive, man!
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'''MIKE:''' Umm...
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Ohh!
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'''MIKE:''' I think it was just probably filled with different-flavored Tootsie Rolls. You ever seen those Tootsie Rolls?
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Oh yeah. The green Tootsie Roll?
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'''MIKE:''' Yeah.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' But they're all white, aren't they? ''{Mike starts to say something}'' There's some white Tootsie Rolls.
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'''MIKE:''' There is a white one. They're vanilla-flavored. They're actually pretty good.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Those are unsettling.
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'''MIKE:''' ''{laughs}'' They do&mdash;
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'''STRONG BAD:''' They're like those white doodoos that dogs make. I don't wanna eat one of those.
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'''MIKE:''' But dogs don't make white doodoos. I wonder&mdash; maybe it's something that happens when they get older.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, you should probably get Ken Long <!--???--> to come&mdash;
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'''MIKE:''' Maybe that's&mdash;
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'''STRONG BAD:''' and then spray your log and then they'll start having white doodoos. ''{pause}'' Oh, Bubs. Bubs looks good in a trench coat. It looks less shady, I think.
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'''MIKE:''' Really?
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, I'd trust him more.
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'''MIKE:''' Trench coats are usually gonna make somebody a bit more&mdash;
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Here's my baby! I just gave Bubs my first-born.
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'''MIKE:''' You already just said you were gonna take him to Senor Cardgage's Puddin' Patch.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, that's right!
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'''MIKE:''' Maybe Bubs is the assistant there.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' I bet he probably is a consult-ant. ''{pause until Homestar stops singing}'' Oh wait, that's what the piñata was full of.
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'''MIKE:''' I totally forgot.
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'''STRONG BAD:''' Me too.
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'''MIKE:''' ''{chuckles}''
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{{dvdproofread}}
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===Fun Facts===
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*Strong Bad's repetition of "Check it out" is a reference to [[Lookin' at a Thing in a Bag]].
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==External Links==
==External Links==

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