new hands

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"I am still awesome"

Strong Bad Email #47

Strong Bad gets asked about what he would replace his hands with if they were cut off at the wrist.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Coach Z, Homestar Runner (easter egg)



STRONG BAD: Doo doo doo doo doo... {like pizzicato strings} Email! doo doo doo doo doo...


Hey Strong Bad,
If you had both your hands removed at
the wrists and could not have them
replaced with prosthetic hands, what
2 things would you have them replaced

- Ryan

STRONG BAD: {typing} Lemme think for a second, Ryan. Ooh! Ooh! I got it!

{Cuts to The Field, with Strong Bad standing in the middle of it}

STRONG BAD: {voice-over} One hand would have a bucket on it. {a bucket appears on his right hand} That way, I would always... have a bucket. You know, for like, dumping oatmeal on stuff {a turtle appears and he dumps some oatmeal from inside the bucket on it}, for washing The Cheat {water appears in the bucket, and The Cheat comes out of it with suds covering his head}, and like, dropping the occasional beat...

{Strong Bad starts dropping a beat with the bucket, and Coach Z appears with a microphone in his hand.}

COACH Z: These peoples tried to fade me!

{The beat ends and Coach Z disappears.}

STRONG BAD: {voice-over} And also, I could sit on it when I get tired {he puts his bucket-hand on the ground and sits on it}... sit right down on the bucket. And the other hand would definitely be a bullhorn. {a bullhorn appears on his left hand} That way, everyone could hear all the important stuff I gotta say.

{Strong Bad's voice-over ends, and the Strong Bad in the field speaks through the bullhorn-hand.}

STRONG BAD: I am still awesome. {pause} Seriously. Hey, Coach! I wasn't trying to fade you. That wasn't me. I don't know who those peoples were.

{Strong Bad gets off the bucket-hand and stands there in The Field for a second, and then it cuts back to Strong Bad at the computer.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Now I know you were all expecting me to pick things like guitars and lazor guns... {stops typing} but I-- Aww, man! Why didn't I pick guitars and lazor guns? Bullhorn?! Pfft! Like having a bucket for a hand's gonna get me any chicks... What was I thinking?

{Strong Bad hangs his head in shame}

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

  • At the end of this one you can click on the words, "guitars and lazor guns" to bring up Strong Bad with a guitar and a laser gun for hands.
  • Click on his "hands" for other various things.
    • One of his hands you click is Homestar's Head. You can't change his hand until Homestar says "What do ya say there, bucket hand!"

Fun Facts

  • This is the first time Coach Z's song These Peoples Try To Fade Me is mentioned.
  • Two of the items you can replace his hands with are a buzzsaw and a bottle of tabasco sauce, these are references to when he was about to hurt Marzipan in your friends.
  • A toy was later made from this e-mail.

DVD Version

  • The hands Easter Egg is still there, but the hands are cycled through automatically.
  • The DVD version adds a hidden creator's commentary. To access it, change your DVD player's audio language selection while watching this email.


MIKE: {poor imitation of Strong Bad} Email! Doot, doot, doot, doo, do.

MATT: That was not me, that was Mike--

MIKE: I was taking--

MATT: --doing a bad impression of my website. This is probably one of the longer emails.

MIKE: Yeah, this is pr--

MATT: We don't usually accept emails that long anymore.

MIKE: Yeah, that's true. If it's more than two sentences I, uh, usually just throw it out. There's some scale problems in this one, I remember when The Cheat appears in the bucket.

MATT: Yeah, The Cheat is a little... Look at that little turtle! We should bring that turtle back. {laughs}

MIKE: The Cheat's as big as Strong Bad's mouth.

MATT: He could eat him in one bite. There is of course the first--the first appearance of These Peoples Try To Fade Me. There's some new, some new legs you made for Strong Bad, I see.

MIKE: Yeah, his feet look a little funny.

'MATT: I like 'em

MIKE: I really wanna get one of those bullhorns.

'MATT: Yeah, we should, there's no, no excuse for us not having -- each having one of those

MIKE: We could be doing our commentary thru megaphones.

MATT: Yeah. Um, do you have anything else to say?

MIKE: Well, I can't even remember what happens here. Ok, right.

MATT: He should have done--

MIKE: He should have picked guitar and laser guns--

MATT: Yeah, ri--

MIKE: 'cuz they're cooler than buckets and megaphones.

MATT: These commentaries are just us remembering how our emails go.

MIKE: {overlapping, remembering} Oh yeah, right...

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