# property of ones

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 Revision as of 06:22, 24 February 2018 (edit) (→Trivia: "Equation" is bogus. The Property of Ones is clearly a theorem! Or is it a postulate?)← Older edit Current revision as of 02:37, 31 October 2019 (edit) (undo) (this is either explaining the joke or a ridiculous level of nitpicking) (includes 4 intermediate revisions) Line 34: Line 34: ''{Strong Bad pronounces TX as "Tejas"}'' ''{Strong Bad pronounces TX as "Tejas"}'' - '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Aw, Dan, you dodged a bullet, man. Because lemme tell you... a One that is not cold, is scarcely a One at all. Allow me to demonstrate with one of my bogus mathematical theorems. ''{stops typing}'' I call it ''{resumes typing}'' "The Property of Ones." ''{stops typing}'' It goes like this: ''{resumes typing}'' The ONEitude is directly proportional to the Colditude of the ONE. So you got that, Dan? The colder it is, the more of a one it is. Because you don't want to end up with a Cold None. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. But now in foreign lands, they've been known to drink ''{stops typing}'' Not So Cold Ones ''{a bottle of "Not So Cold One" appears}'', Room Temperature Ones ''{a bottle of "Room Temp-A-Ture One" appears}'', and even Warm Ones ''{a bottle of "Wärm Öne" appears}''. Whoa! ''{clears screen, resumes typing}'' But where I come from, it's ''CUH-HOLD ONES''. Though I have to admit, on certain evenings in late spring, a Cool One can be very refreshing. ''{stops typing}'' Ooh... That's a good One. + '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Aw, Dan, you dodged a bullet, man. Because lemme tell you... a One that is not cold, is scarcely a One at all. Allow me to demonstrate with one of my bogus mathematical theorems. ''{stops typing}'' I call it ''{resumes typing}'' "The Property of Ones". ''{stops typing}'' It goes like this: ''{resumes typing}'' The ONEitude is directly proportional to the Colditude of the ONE. So you got that, Dan? The colder it is, the more of a one it is. Because you don't want to end up with a Cold None. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. But now in foreign lands, they've been known to drink ''{stops typing}'' Not So Cold Ones ''{a bottle of "Not So Cold One" appears}'', Room Temperature Ones ''{a bottle of "Room Temp-A-Ture One" appears}'', and even Warm Ones ''{a bottle of "Wärm Öne" appears}''. Whoa! ''{clears screen, resumes typing}'' But where I come from, it's ''CUH-HOLD ONES''. Though I have to admit, on certain evenings in late spring, a Cool One can be very refreshing. ''{stops typing}'' Ooh... That's a good One. ''{A needlepoint picture of three "Cold One" bottles with the caption "A One That Isn't Cold, Is Scarcely A One At All" appears on the screen. [[The Paper]] comes down.}'' ''{A needlepoint picture of three "Cold One" bottles with the caption "A One That Isn't Cold, Is Scarcely A One At All" appears on the screen. [[The Paper]] comes down.}'' Line 41: Line 41: ===Trivia=== ===Trivia=== *This is the last email that has no Easter Eggs until email #133, "[[bottom 10]]". *This is the last email that has no Easter Eggs until email #133, "[[bottom 10]]". - *The bottle of Not So Cold One states that they are served at "90 degrees or higher."  This would make them far warmer than Room Temp-a-ture Ones, room temperature being somewhere in the low to mid 70s, but cooler than Warm Ones, which come "straight from the oven." + *The bottle of Not So Cold One states that they are served at "90 degrees or higher". This would make them far warmer than Room Temp-a-ture Ones, room temperature being somewhere in the low to mid 70s, but cooler than Warm Ones, which come "straight from the oven". - *The [[YouTube]] description for this email is "Strong Bad makes up some bogus mathematic equations about cold ones." + *The [[YouTube]] description for this email is: "Strong Bad makes up some bogus mathematic equations about cold ones." ===Remarks=== ===Remarks=== - *The needlepoint saying is improperly punctuated; it shouldn't have a comma between "cold" and "is." + *The needlepoint saying is improperly punctuated; it shouldn't have a comma between "cold" and "is". *The back button has been written in needlepoint, but it is on the frame of the picture. *The back button has been written in needlepoint, but it is on the frame of the picture. *Ironically, beer loses its flavor at colder temperatures. *Ironically, beer loses its flavor at colder temperatures. Line 54: Line 54: ===Real-World References=== ===Real-World References=== - *The page title, "Still bloke" may be a reference to the Japanese language pronouncing "l" and "r" the same. When switched, it's "broke", which actually fits contextually. + *The page title, "Still bloke", may be a reference to the Japanese language pronouncing "l" and "r" the same. When switched, it's "broke", which actually fits contextually. **It is possible that this is a double reference, since the "foreign land" where they drink Wärm Önes would be assumed to be England or the British Isles, where a "bloke" is a casual reference to a male, generally equivalent to the vernacular "guy". **It is possible that this is a double reference, since the "foreign land" where they drink Wärm Önes would be assumed to be England or the British Isles, where a "bloke" is a casual reference to a male, generally equivalent to the vernacular "guy".

## Current revision as of 02:37, 31 October 2019

This article is about the Strong Bad Email. For the theorem, see Bogus Mathematical Theorems.
Strong Bad Email #39
 watch ← helium vacation →
A needlepoint moral

Strong Bad talks about Cold Ones, with a few tweaks at standard algebra.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad

Places: Computer Room

Computer: Tandy 400

Date: Monday, August 5, 2002

Running Time: 1:19

Page Title: Tandy 400: Still Bloke.

##  Transcript

STRONG BAD: {singing} Gimme some of this and gimme some of thiiiiis... Gimme some of this. {stops singing}

{Strong Bad pronounces TX as "Tejas"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Aw, Dan, you dodged a bullet, man. Because lemme tell you... a One that is not cold, is scarcely a One at all. Allow me to demonstrate with one of my bogus mathematical theorems. {stops typing} I call it {resumes typing} "The Property of Ones". {stops typing} It goes like this: {resumes typing} The ONEitude is directly proportional to the Colditude of the ONE. So you got that, Dan? The colder it is, the more of a one it is. Because you don't want to end up with a Cold None. I wouldn't wish that on anybody. But now in foreign lands, they've been known to drink {stops typing} Not So Cold Ones {a bottle of "Not So Cold One" appears}, Room Temperature Ones {a bottle of "Room Temp-A-Ture One" appears}, and even Warm Ones {a bottle of "Wärm Öne" appears}. Whoa! {clears screen, resumes typing} But where I come from, it's CUH-HOLD ONES. Though I have to admit, on certain evenings in late spring, a Cool One can be very refreshing. {stops typing} Ooh... That's a good One.

{A needlepoint picture of three "Cold One" bottles with the caption "A One That Isn't Cold, Is Scarcely A One At All" appears on the screen. The Paper comes down.}

##  Fun Facts

### Trivia

• This is the last email that has no Easter Eggs until email #133, "bottom 10".
• The bottle of Not So Cold One states that they are served at "90 degrees or higher". This would make them far warmer than Room Temp-a-ture Ones, room temperature being somewhere in the low to mid 70s, but cooler than Warm Ones, which come "straight from the oven".
• The YouTube description for this email is: "Strong Bad makes up some bogus mathematic equations about cold ones."

### Remarks

• The needlepoint saying is improperly punctuated; it shouldn't have a comma between "cold" and "is".
• The back button has been written in needlepoint, but it is on the frame of the picture.
• Ironically, beer loses its flavor at colder temperatures.
• When Strong Bad types "the less of a one it is", he doesn't capitalize the word "one".

### Real-World References

• The page title, "Still bloke", may be a reference to the Japanese language pronouncing "l" and "r" the same. When switched, it's "broke", which actually fits contextually.
• It is possible that this is a double reference, since the "foreign land" where they drink Wärm Önes would be assumed to be England or the British Isles, where a "bloke" is a casual reference to a male, generally equivalent to the vernacular "guy".