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{{sbenav|105}}
{{sbenav|105}}
-
[[Image:replacement.png|thumb|Here lies String Bed.]]
+
[[Image:replacement.png|thumb|"Please don't dig up the grave."]]
-
String Bed witnesses an NDE.
+
Strong Bad looks for a replacement for when he retires from answering emails.
-
'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' none
+
'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' {{Film|Strong Bad}}, {{Film|The Cheat}}, {{Film|Strong Sad}}, {{Film|Strong Mad}}, {{Film|Bubs}},  {{Film|Coach Z}}, {{Film|Homestar Runner}}, {{Film|Marzipan}}, {{Film|Homsar}}
-
'''Places:''' tldr
+
'''Places:''' [[Computer Room]], [[The Field]], [[Basement of the Brothers Strong]], [[Marzipan's House]], [[Stages|The Stage]]
{{Comp|Compy 386}}
{{Comp|Compy 386}}
-
'''Date:''' Sunday, November 11, 2012
+
'''Date:''' Tuesday, June 8, 2004
'''Running Time:''' 3:22
'''Running Time:''' 3:22
-
'''Page Title:''' String Bed's Resurrection
+
'''Page Title:''' Compy 386!!
{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc Four}}
{{dvd|strongbad_email.exe Disc Four}}
== Transcript ==
== Transcript ==
 +
'''STRONG BAD:''' Our next show, is a family show. It... is... the email.
''{reading}''
''{reading}''
<blockquote class= "compy email">Dear Strong Bad,<br />
<blockquote class= "compy email">Dear Strong Bad,<br />
-
Have you ever thought what will happen when you die?<br />
+
Have you ever thought who will take<br />
 +
your place when you retire?<br />
<br />
<br />
Your friend,<br />
Your friend,<br />
Jeffrey Desterhoft</blockquote>
Jeffrey Desterhoft</blockquote>
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' You've got a good point there, Jeffy.
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' You've got a good point there, Jeffy. I suppose I can't keep checking these e-mails forever. I never really thought about finding an heir to my throne before. Come to think of it, what ever happened to my throne?
-
''{Strong Bad stops typing, picks up a knife, and stabs himself; fades to white}''  
+
''{Strong Bad stops typing, picks up a phone, and talks into it, making a sound like a loudspeaker in a supermarket}''  
-
''{Fade to Strong Bad and Homestar standing in the Field, indicating that Strong Bad's life is flashing before his eyes.}''
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' Attention The Cheat. Customer needs assistance in email. Customer needs assistance in email.
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm gonna hold up a last name, and you make fun of it. ''{holds up a cue card with the word "Garglecock" written on it}'' Garglecock.
+
''{Strong Bad puts down the phone, which is not attached to anything. The Cheat arrives in a blue employee's vest with his name on it}''
 +
 
 +
'''STRONG BAD:''' The Cheat, didn't I used to have a throne of some kind?
 +
 
 +
'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{points at the stool and makes The Cheat noises.}''
 +
 
 +
'''STRONG BAD:''' No, no, no, this is my ''stool''. I'm talking about a ''throne''. You know, it had, like... gold nuggets on it, and... a hundred cup holders... some of them velvety cushions... you know, a ''throne''. And I think I had a motorcycle, too. See if you can find those.
 +
 
 +
'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises, leaves}''
 +
 
 +
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' I guess the best way to find a replacement is to subject a bunch of applicants to the same rigorous screening process that I subjected myself to ''{begins to sound unsure of what he is saying}'' when I started checking these emails?
 +
 
 +
''{Cut to Strong Bad and Homestar standing in the Field.}''
 +
 
 +
'''STRONG BAD:''' I'm gonna hold up a last name, and you make fun of it. ''{holds up a cue card with the word "Gargleman" written on it}'' Gargleman.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Crapface.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Crapface.
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{holds up a cue card that reads "Weiner"}'' Weiner.
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{holds up a cue card that reads "Dumweiner"}'' Dumweiner.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Uhhhh, Crapface.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Uhhhh, Crapface.
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{changes cue card to "Butthole"}'' Butthole.
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{changes cue card to "Butkus"}'' Butkus.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Crapface.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Crapface.
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{changes cue card to "Crackhead"}'' Crackhead.
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{changes cue card to "Crambert"}'' Crambert.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Crapface?
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Crapface?
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{changes cue card to "SES"}'' SES.
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{changes cue card to "Desterhoft"}'' Desterhoft.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Let me think about it; ''{without hesitation}'' Crapface.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Let me think about it; ''{without hesitation}'' Crapface.
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' Not good enough. F minus minus.
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' Whoa! Perfect score!
-
''{Fade to the computer room with Strong Bad and Coach Z in front of the Compy.}''
+
''{Cut to the computer room with Strong Bad and Coach Z in front of the Compy.}''
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' Deleted.  
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's hear your best "deleted."
''{He presses a button on the keyboard and the Compy displays DELETED on a blue background, making the standard DELETED sound.}''
''{He presses a button on the keyboard and the Compy displays DELETED on a blue background, making the standard DELETED sound.}''
Line 64: Line 80:
<blockquote class="email" style="background:#003893; text-align:center">DELETED!</blockquote>
<blockquote class="email" style="background:#003893; text-align:center">DELETED!</blockquote>
-
'''COACH Z:''' ''{Vocoder effect}'' DELORTED!
+
'''COACH Z:''' DELORTED!
-
''{The Compy blows up.  Strong Bad looks surprised.}''
+
''{The Compy flashes DELORTED on a dark yellow-green background and makes a distorted version of the DELETED sound.  Strong Bad looks surprised.}''
-
''{Fade to the basement with Strong Bad and Bubs and a cardboard box with "unsure Squidward" drawn on it sitting on the couch.}''
+
<blockquote class="email" style="background:#8B8B00; text-align:center">DELORTED!</blockquote>
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' Squidward's on the couch, watching TV. What do you do?
+
''{Cut to the basement with Strong Bad and Bubs and a cardboard box with Strong Sad drawn on it sitting on the couch.}''
-
'''BUBS:''' Kick him in the balls!
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' Strong Sad's on the couch, watching TV. What do you do?
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' That's good, that's good. What else?
+
'''BUBS:''' Kick him in the teeth!
-
'''BUBS:''' Kick him in the balls!
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' That's good, that's good, even though he might not have any teeth. What else?
 +
 
 +
'''BUBS:''' Kick him in the grill! ''{pumps his elbow}''
'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, yeah! Keep going!
'''STRONG BAD:''' Yeah, yeah! Keep going!
-
'''BUBS:''' ''{turns to face Strong Bad}'' Kick ''you'' in the balls!  
+
'''BUBS:''' ''{turns to face Strong Bad}'' Kick ''you'' in the grill!  
-
''{Bubs starts to approach Strong Bad, waving his arms and yelling menacingly in a demonic overtone}''
+
''{Bubs starts to approach Strong Bad, waving his arms and yelling menacingly}''
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{nervously}'' No, no, Bubs, calm down, this is only a drill!
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{nervously}'' No, no, Bubs, calm down, this is only a drill!
-
''{Fade to Marzipan's house with Strong Bad and Marzipan holding [[Carol]].}''
+
''{Cut to Marzipan's house with Strong Bad and Marzipan holding [[Carol]].}''
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's hear your best song.
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' Let's hear your best "scroll buttons" song.
-
'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{playing the guitar to the tune of "Song of Storms" from LoZ: Ocarina of Time}
+
'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{singing and playing the guitar}'' And that's why I like to scroll, with scroll buttons!
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sarcastically}'' Oh, right, right, the worst song I ever heard. Play another one!
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{sarcastically}'' Oh, right, right, the worst song I ever heard. Play another one!
-
'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{playing the guitar to the tune of "Gino's Theme" from Super Mario RPG}''
+
'''MARZIPAN:''' ''{singing and playing the guitar}'' Scroll buttons are good, they move you up and down, they take you to...
-
''{Strong Bad groans. Fade to the basement, with Strong Bad, Strong Sad, and the same cardboard box with "unsure Squidward" on it.}''
+
''{Strong Bad groans. Cut to the basement, with Strong Bad, Strong Sad, and the same cardboard box with Strong Sad on it.}''
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, Strong Sad, Squidward's on the couch, watching TV. What do you do?
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' Okay, Strong Sad, Strong Sad's on the couch, watching TV. What do you do?
-
'''STRONG SAD:''' ''{in Bubs' voice}'' Kick him in the balls!
+
'''STRONG SAD:''' Go make him some hummus!
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' Those are not balls!
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' Hummus?! No, try something else.
-
''{Fade to the field with Homestar, Strong Bad and The Cheat.  The Cheat is wearing a cardboard box that has a drawing of MOAR Krabs on it.}''
+
'''STRONG SAD:''' Uh... Give him a foot massage!
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' Now I want you to pretend this is The Cheat, and give him a good, swift, kick in the balls!
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{looks at Strong Sad's [[soolnds]], mouth agape}'' Those are not feet!
 +
 
 +
''{Cut to the field with Homestar, Strong Bad and The Cheat.  The Cheat is wearing a cardboard box that has a drawing of himself on it.}''
 +
 
 +
'''STRONG BAD:''' Now I want you to pretend this is The Cheat, and give him a good, swift, kick in The Cheat!
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{bends one of his legs back, then pauses}'' Umm... ''{puts his leg back down}'' Crapface.  
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{bends one of his legs back, then pauses}'' Umm... ''{puts his leg back down}'' Crapface.  
-
''{Fade to the field with a cosmic sky, black bushes, tombstones surrounding Strong Bad's, and the "unsure Squidward" fading from the background.  A big tombstone is on the foreground. The words "HERE LIES STRONG BAD" are carved on the slab. Fade to white}''
+
''{Cut to Strong Bad in front of his computer}''
-
''{Cut to Strong Bad back on his computer}''
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' Ugh. ''{typing}'' This screening process is neither processing nor screening very well. I suppose I should cut to the chase and haul out the big guns...DANCE CONTEST!
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' Ugh. ''{typing}'' This process is not processing very well. I suppose I should cut to the chase and haul out the big guns...
+
''{Cut to a stage. Music is playing. We see the top part of Strong Bad's head watching each contestant.}''
-
''{Strong Bad pulls out 2 guns and blows his head off; fade to white}''
+
''{The first contestant is Marzipan, who spins her ponytail around while moving her head left and right.}''
 +
 
 +
''{Cut to Coach Z, who taps his right foot while waving his arms behind his head one after the other.}''
 +
 
 +
''{Cut to Strong Sad, who is simply pointing his fingers.}''
 +
 
 +
''{Cut to Bubs shaking his arms while leaning forward and then jumping up and down.}''
 +
 
 +
''{Cut to Strong Mad, who simply stands in place and yells:}''
 +
 
 +
'''STRONG MAD:''' I'M STRONG MAD! I'M STRONG MAD!
 +
 
 +
''{Cut to Homsar, who shuffles his feet all along the stage.}''
 +
 
 +
''{The camera then cuts to and zooms in on Homestar, who is lit by a spotlight. The music changes to the ending of a slow, dramatic song.}''
 +
 
 +
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{singing}'' And then I put it on my faaaaace...
   
   
''{Cut to Strong Bad at his computer.}''
''{Cut to Strong Bad at his computer.}''
-
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Uh, this process is not processing very well. Looks like I'm gonna be killing Cheats 'til the day I die. ''{stops typing}'' Whoa, that'd make an awesome tattoo! Or an even better epitaph!
+
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Uh, this dance contest is neither contesting ''{pronounces "contesting" as "CON-test-ing"}'' nor dancing very well. Looks like I'm gonna be checking e-mails and kicking Cheats 'til the day I die. ''{stops typing}'' Whoa, that'd make an awesome tattoo! Or an even better epitaph!
 +
 
 +
''{Cut to the field at night.  A blank tombstone is on the foreground, and as we hear Strong Bad's voice, his words are carved on the slab.}''
 +
 
 +
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Here lies Strong Bad
 +
 
 +
''{underneath, in slightly smaller letters}''
 +
 
 +
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' "Checking e-mails and kicking Cheats in the hereafter"
 +
 
 +
''{underneath}''
 +
 
 +
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Buried with his hundred girlfriends
 +
 
 +
''{underneath}''
 +
 
 +
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' And like, a jillion dollars
 +
 
 +
''{underneath, in even smaller letters}''
 +
 
 +
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{voiceover}'' Please don't dig up the grave.
 +
 
 +
''{[[The Paper]] comes down}''
 +
 
 +
== Easter Eggs ==
 +
*At the end, click on the word "Cheats" to see another exchange between Strong Bad and The Cheat.
 +
*:''{Cut to The Cheat near his light switch, still wearing his uniform.}''
 +
*:'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{offscreen, into speakerphone}'' A-ttention The Cheat!
 +
*:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises}''
 +
*:'''STRONG BAD:''' Have you found that motorcycle yet? ''{slight pause}'' Maybe check in our... stock room.
 +
*:'''THE CHEAT:''' ''{The Cheat noises, leaves}''
 +
*:'''STRONG BAD:''' And Dana needs more quarters on register three.
 +
 
 +
== Fun Facts ==
 +
 
 +
===Explanations===
 +
*[[Wikipedia:Hummus|Hummus]] is a paste of pureed chickpeas usually mixed with sesame oil or sesame paste and eaten as a dip or sandwich spread.
 +
 
 +
=== Trivia ===
 +
*The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "[[Floppy Disk Container#alone in the dark|alone in the dark]]".
 +
*The [[YouTube]] description for this email is "Who will check his emails when Strong Bad retires? Aforementioned Strong Bad tries to find out."
 +
*Since the [[font]] called Engravers MT is used, the first quotation mark on Strong Bad's gravestone is backwards.
 +
 
 +
===Remarks===
 +
[[Image:delorted.png|thumb|DELORTED!]]
 +
*Strong Bad uses a [[disconnected telephone]].
 +
<!-- *Strong Bad's epitaph reads "kicking Cheats in the hereafter", a rare use of The Cheat's name without an [[integral article]]. // See Talk page -->
 +
<!-- * Strong Bad misspells ''till'' as '' 'til'', an error that is common even among enthusiasts of the English language. // This is not a misspelling; it's a variant.  Ref: http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va='til  - dro -- In fact, 'till is incorrect, it should be 'til, till, or until -->
 +
*Strong Bad doesn't interview Strong Mad or Homsar, yet they still take part in the dance contest; he also doesn't interview The Cheat.
 +
*The visible "DELET" part of the [[DELETED]] text is the same size as the "DELOR" part of Coach Z's "DELORTED". At that size, part of the final D and the exclamation point (which are included in the Flash file) wouldn't fit on the screen.
 +
*When Strong Bad types "DANCE CONTEST!" the initial D appears unusually close to the final period in the preceding ellipsis, probably as a result of trying to avoid splitting the phrase at a line break.
 +
*Homsar's walking sound is not heard as he walks back and forth.
 +
 
 +
===Goofs===
 +
*When The Cheat turns to exit, his nametag switches sides and is reversed.
 +
*The sign above Marzipan normally reads "Thank You". In this email, it appears to be blank due to a positioning error in the Flash file.
 +
*At the end of the email the moon is facing the back of the gravestone, but the shadow is in front of the moon and the other side is bright.
 +
*Marzipan's hair spins in front of her dress, as if it were going through her neck.
 +
*When Strong Bad asks Coach Z for his best "DELETED!", the computer screen displays the text he typed before asking The Cheat about his throne.
 +
 
 +
===Inside References===
 +
*Homestar's repeated use of "crap[[Names Ending in -face|face]]" is related to the way he answered his first email in [[50 emails]].
 +
*Bubs's moves in the dance contest come from the game [[Dancin' Bubs]].
 +
*Strong Bad first [[Kicking The Cheat|kicked The Cheat]] in [[little animal]].
 +
*Strong Bad previously mentioned gold nuggets in his [[Strong Bad's Character Video|character video]].
 +
 
 +
===Real-World References===
 +
*The Cheat is wearing a blue uniform, typical of [[Wikipedia:Wal-Mart|Wal-Mart]] employees, but Strong Bad uses a red phone, typical of [[Wikipedia:Target Corporation|Target]] stores.
 +
*The name "Butkus" refers to [[Wikipedia:Chicago Bears|Chicago Bears]] Hall-Of-Fame linebacker [[Wikipedia:Dick Butkus|Dick Butkus]].
 +
*A [[wikipedia:Grill (jewelry)|grill]] often refers to the dental object people (most prominently rappers) wear on their teeth, but can also mean the mouth/teeth themselves.
 +
*Coach Z's dance is similar to a popular [[Wikipedia:Hardcore punk|hardcore]] dance referred to as "Shootin' the arrow".
 +
 
 +
===Fast Forward===
 +
*Marzipan's first scroll button song was later used on the [[Scroll Button Songs|Strong Bad Email Menu]], despite him saying that it was the worst song he ever heard.
 +
*Strong Bad would later decide to not die at all in [[your funeral]].
 +
*Marzipan's dance moves would be seen again in [[nightlife]].
 +
*The graves for the eleven former [[King of Town (title)|Kings of Town]] would be shown, in similar style to Strong Bad's grave, in [[original]].
 +
*Strong Sad was shown to have teeth after all in [[narrator]], where he can be seen brushing them. He does this again in [[concert]].
 +
 
 +
==DVD Version==
 +
*The DVD version features hidden creator's commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.
 +
 
 +
===Commentary Transcript===
 +
('''Commentary by:''' [[Matt Chapman]], [[Mike Chapman]])
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' What's he's saying right now is from an old audio recording that I made.
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' Yeah, Matt, before we had a video camera, he and his friend, you know, would just make movies and...
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' Radio plays!
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' On, aha, on audio cassette! He had a bad tape recorder.
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' And our friend TJ said that, and he could, he was like four or something and couldn't talk very well, or at least couldn't re-memorize lines at the time 'cuz he was so young, and it was called "The Hostess Cake": "Our next show is a family show. It is... The Hostess Cake"... Mike, how did he do that with his voice?! That phone's clearly not plugged in!
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' It's like Coach Z's phone from another cartoon. I dunno. I dunno, Matt. I just make the cartoons.
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' That's clearly a Wal-Mart vest that The Cheat is wearing there, I think, Mike.
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' Also, there's "Alone in the Dark" back there. Is that... this is, okay, this is before that horrible "Alone in the Dark" movie that just came out.
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' Oh, yeah, did that already come out?
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' Yeah! It was just in the theater for, like, two days.
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' Yeah. Bad idea.
 +
 
 +
''{pause}''
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' So, what are we&mdash; Which one is this? Replacements?
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' Yeah, he's trying to find an heir to the throne!
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' Oooooh.
 +
 
 +
''{pause until Strong Bad holds up the "Desterhoft" card}''
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' ''{sarcastic "surprised" voice}'' Hey, that's the name of the guy that sent the email!
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' ''{similar voice}'' That's a funny name.
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' ''{imitates the "Deleted" buzzer, then again as Strong Bad deletes the email}''
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' ''{of "DELORTED"}'' Oof. That brown screen is gross. I like it. Now this is our friend [[Craig Zobel]], who... you all know. His favorite thing ever on our website is right here where Bubs attacks Strong Bad.
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' That's just me being ba&mdash;being a lazy animator. It wasn't supposed to be funny.
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' ''{partially over the last line}'' No, that was you being a genius.
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' It wasn't supposed to be funny.
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' It's hilarious.
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' Didn't you record Strong Bad singing one of these scroll buttons songs for the scroll button menu?
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' Mm-hmm. I did.
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' We oughta use that.
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' Never have. Maybe we should. It's been the same one for a while now.
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' Yeah.
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' ''{of the box with Strong Sad's image}'' That Strong Sad drawing is pretty great. The Cheat clearly drew that for him. ''{after Strong Bad's "Those are not feet."}'' What are they called, Mike?
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' Soolnds?
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' Soolnd.
 +
 
 +
''{pause}''
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' Um...
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' So we got a dance party coming up where Coach Z is doing our friend Claire's dance.
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' Mm-hmm. I remember... that's a good dance.
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' There it is.
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' The Claire dance. I don't know if Claire knows that we have Coach Z doing her dance.
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' Does she know we have a name for her dance?
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' I don't know if she knows that either. I hope she doesn't get mad.
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' I did all this. That's why the dances are pretty lame.
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' Homestar is singing in a dance contest, Mike. He doesn't, he obviously doesn't know what's going on.
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' Even if it was a ''singing'' contest, it was a pretty bad song.
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' Yeah.
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' I dunno what he's talking about, but I dunno what he just put on his face.
 +
 
 +
''{they laugh}''
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' It's a great song, I think. It's very interesting. It makes you wonder. What did&mdash; and what happened that spawned that?
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' I don't wanna know.
 +
 
 +
''{pause until The Paper}''
 +
 
 +
'''MIKE:''' ''{sighs}'' That's it.
 +
 
 +
'''MATT:''' Preeow.
-
''{The Paper pulls down with the words "Copyright 2012 Viacom"}''
+
===Fun Facts===
 +
*[[Wikipedia:Hostess (brand)|Hostess]] is a manufacturer of various snack cakes and pastries, most famously the [[Wikipedia:Twinkie|Twinkie]].
 +
*The critically panned 2005 film ''[[IMDB:tt0369226|Alone in the Dark]]'', a box-office failure, was based on the video game of the same name, which was in the [[Floppy Disk Container]] in this email.
-
''{Cuts to an image of Mr. Krabs making a goofy face from the SpongeBob episode "Clams"}''
+
== External Links ==
 +
{{sbemailextlinks|105|164|youtube=bjHlT8yyXFs}}
-
==Fun Facts==
+
{{Strong Bad Email}}
-
*[[Wikipedia:Tara Strong|Tara Strong]] liked this page.
+
[[Category:Emails With DVD Commentary]][[Category:Podstar Runner]]

Current revision as of 21:22, 30 June 2019

Strong Bad Email #105
watch theme park dangeresque 3
"Please don't dig up the grave."

Strong Bad looks for a replacement for when he retires from answering emails.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Strong Sad, Strong Mad, Bubs, Coach Z, Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Homsar

Places: Computer Room, The Field, Basement of the Brothers Strong, Marzipan's House, The Stage

Computer: Compy 386

Date: Tuesday, June 8, 2004

Running Time: 3:22

Page Title: Compy 386!!

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Four

Contents

[edit] Transcript

STRONG BAD: Our next show, is a family show. It... is... the email.

{reading}

STRONG BAD: {typing} You've got a good point there, Jeffy. I suppose I can't keep checking these e-mails forever. I never really thought about finding an heir to my throne before. Come to think of it, what ever happened to my throne?

{Strong Bad stops typing, picks up a phone, and talks into it, making a sound like a loudspeaker in a supermarket}

STRONG BAD: Attention The Cheat. Customer needs assistance in email. Customer needs assistance in email.

{Strong Bad puts down the phone, which is not attached to anything. The Cheat arrives in a blue employee's vest with his name on it}

STRONG BAD: The Cheat, didn't I used to have a throne of some kind?

THE CHEAT: {points at the stool and makes The Cheat noises.}

STRONG BAD: No, no, no, this is my stool. I'm talking about a throne. You know, it had, like... gold nuggets on it, and... a hundred cup holders... some of them velvety cushions... you know, a throne. And I think I had a motorcycle, too. See if you can find those.

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises, leaves}

STRONG BAD: {typing} I guess the best way to find a replacement is to subject a bunch of applicants to the same rigorous screening process that I subjected myself to {begins to sound unsure of what he is saying} when I started checking these emails?

{Cut to Strong Bad and Homestar standing in the Field.}

STRONG BAD: I'm gonna hold up a last name, and you make fun of it. {holds up a cue card with the word "Gargleman" written on it} Gargleman.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Crapface.

STRONG BAD: {holds up a cue card that reads "Dumweiner"} Dumweiner.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uhhhh, Crapface.

STRONG BAD: {changes cue card to "Butkus"} Butkus.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Crapface.

STRONG BAD: {changes cue card to "Crambert"} Crambert.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Crapface?

STRONG BAD: {changes cue card to "Desterhoft"} Desterhoft.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Let me think about it; {without hesitation} Crapface.

STRONG BAD: Whoa! Perfect score!

{Cut to the computer room with Strong Bad and Coach Z in front of the Compy.}

STRONG BAD: Let's hear your best "deleted."

{He presses a button on the keyboard and the Compy displays DELETED on a blue background, making the standard DELETED sound.}

COACH Z: DELORTED!

{The Compy flashes DELORTED on a dark yellow-green background and makes a distorted version of the DELETED sound. Strong Bad looks surprised.}

{Cut to the basement with Strong Bad and Bubs and a cardboard box with Strong Sad drawn on it sitting on the couch.}

STRONG BAD: Strong Sad's on the couch, watching TV. What do you do?

BUBS: Kick him in the teeth!

STRONG BAD: That's good, that's good, even though he might not have any teeth. What else?

BUBS: Kick him in the grill! {pumps his elbow}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, yeah! Keep going!

BUBS: {turns to face Strong Bad} Kick you in the grill!

{Bubs starts to approach Strong Bad, waving his arms and yelling menacingly}

STRONG BAD: {nervously} No, no, Bubs, calm down, this is only a drill!

{Cut to Marzipan's house with Strong Bad and Marzipan holding Carol.}

STRONG BAD: Let's hear your best "scroll buttons" song.

MARZIPAN: {singing and playing the guitar} And that's why I like to scroll, with scroll buttons!

STRONG BAD: {sarcastically} Oh, right, right, the worst song I ever heard. Play another one!

MARZIPAN: {singing and playing the guitar} Scroll buttons are good, they move you up and down, they take you to...

{Strong Bad groans. Cut to the basement, with Strong Bad, Strong Sad, and the same cardboard box with Strong Sad on it.}

STRONG BAD: Okay, Strong Sad, Strong Sad's on the couch, watching TV. What do you do?

STRONG SAD: Go make him some hummus!

STRONG BAD: Hummus?! No, try something else.

STRONG SAD: Uh... Give him a foot massage!

STRONG BAD: {looks at Strong Sad's soolnds, mouth agape} Those are not feet!

{Cut to the field with Homestar, Strong Bad and The Cheat. The Cheat is wearing a cardboard box that has a drawing of himself on it.}

STRONG BAD: Now I want you to pretend this is The Cheat, and give him a good, swift, kick in The Cheat!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {bends one of his legs back, then pauses} Umm... {puts his leg back down} Crapface.

{Cut to Strong Bad in front of his computer}

STRONG BAD: Ugh. {typing} This screening process is neither processing nor screening very well. I suppose I should cut to the chase and haul out the big guns...DANCE CONTEST!

{Cut to a stage. Music is playing. We see the top part of Strong Bad's head watching each contestant.}

{The first contestant is Marzipan, who spins her ponytail around while moving her head left and right.}

{Cut to Coach Z, who taps his right foot while waving his arms behind his head one after the other.}

{Cut to Strong Sad, who is simply pointing his fingers.}

{Cut to Bubs shaking his arms while leaning forward and then jumping up and down.}

{Cut to Strong Mad, who simply stands in place and yells:}

STRONG MAD: I'M STRONG MAD! I'M STRONG MAD!

{Cut to Homsar, who shuffles his feet all along the stage.}

{The camera then cuts to and zooms in on Homestar, who is lit by a spotlight. The music changes to the ending of a slow, dramatic song.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} And then I put it on my faaaaace...

{Cut to Strong Bad at his computer.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Uh, this dance contest is neither contesting {pronounces "contesting" as "CON-test-ing"} nor dancing very well. Looks like I'm gonna be checking e-mails and kicking Cheats 'til the day I die. {stops typing} Whoa, that'd make an awesome tattoo! Or an even better epitaph!

{Cut to the field at night. A blank tombstone is on the foreground, and as we hear Strong Bad's voice, his words are carved on the slab.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Here lies Strong Bad

{underneath, in slightly smaller letters}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} "Checking e-mails and kicking Cheats in the hereafter"

{underneath}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Buried with his hundred girlfriends

{underneath}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} And like, a jillion dollars

{underneath, in even smaller letters}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Please don't dig up the grave.

{The Paper comes down}

[edit] Easter Eggs

  • At the end, click on the word "Cheats" to see another exchange between Strong Bad and The Cheat.
    {Cut to The Cheat near his light switch, still wearing his uniform.}
    STRONG BAD: {offscreen, into speakerphone} A-ttention The Cheat!
    THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}
    STRONG BAD: Have you found that motorcycle yet? {slight pause} Maybe check in our... stock room.
    THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises, leaves}
    STRONG BAD: And Dana needs more quarters on register three.

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Explanations

  • Hummus is a paste of pureed chickpeas usually mixed with sesame oil or sesame paste and eaten as a dip or sandwich spread.

[edit] Trivia

  • The label on the disk in the floppy disk container reads "alone in the dark".
  • The YouTube description for this email is "Who will check his emails when Strong Bad retires? Aforementioned Strong Bad tries to find out."
  • Since the font called Engravers MT is used, the first quotation mark on Strong Bad's gravestone is backwards.

[edit] Remarks

DELORTED!
  • Strong Bad uses a disconnected telephone.
  • Strong Bad doesn't interview Strong Mad or Homsar, yet they still take part in the dance contest; he also doesn't interview The Cheat.
  • The visible "DELET" part of the DELETED text is the same size as the "DELOR" part of Coach Z's "DELORTED". At that size, part of the final D and the exclamation point (which are included in the Flash file) wouldn't fit on the screen.
  • When Strong Bad types "DANCE CONTEST!" the initial D appears unusually close to the final period in the preceding ellipsis, probably as a result of trying to avoid splitting the phrase at a line break.
  • Homsar's walking sound is not heard as he walks back and forth.

[edit] Goofs

  • When The Cheat turns to exit, his nametag switches sides and is reversed.
  • The sign above Marzipan normally reads "Thank You". In this email, it appears to be blank due to a positioning error in the Flash file.
  • At the end of the email the moon is facing the back of the gravestone, but the shadow is in front of the moon and the other side is bright.
  • Marzipan's hair spins in front of her dress, as if it were going through her neck.
  • When Strong Bad asks Coach Z for his best "DELETED!", the computer screen displays the text he typed before asking The Cheat about his throne.

[edit] Inside References

[edit] Real-World References

  • The Cheat is wearing a blue uniform, typical of Wal-Mart employees, but Strong Bad uses a red phone, typical of Target stores.
  • The name "Butkus" refers to Chicago Bears Hall-Of-Fame linebacker Dick Butkus.
  • A grill often refers to the dental object people (most prominently rappers) wear on their teeth, but can also mean the mouth/teeth themselves.
  • Coach Z's dance is similar to a popular hardcore dance referred to as "Shootin' the arrow".

[edit] Fast Forward

  • Marzipan's first scroll button song was later used on the Strong Bad Email Menu, despite him saying that it was the worst song he ever heard.
  • Strong Bad would later decide to not die at all in your funeral.
  • Marzipan's dance moves would be seen again in nightlife.
  • The graves for the eleven former Kings of Town would be shown, in similar style to Strong Bad's grave, in original.
  • Strong Sad was shown to have teeth after all in narrator, where he can be seen brushing them. He does this again in concert.

[edit] DVD Version

  • The DVD version features hidden creator's commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

[edit] Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Matt Chapman, Mike Chapman)

MATT: What's he's saying right now is from an old audio recording that I made.

MIKE: Yeah, Matt, before we had a video camera, he and his friend, you know, would just make movies and...

MATT: Radio plays!

MIKE: On, aha, on audio cassette! He had a bad tape recorder.

MATT: And our friend TJ said that, and he could, he was like four or something and couldn't talk very well, or at least couldn't re-memorize lines at the time 'cuz he was so young, and it was called "The Hostess Cake": "Our next show is a family show. It is... The Hostess Cake"... Mike, how did he do that with his voice?! That phone's clearly not plugged in!

MIKE: It's like Coach Z's phone from another cartoon. I dunno. I dunno, Matt. I just make the cartoons.

MATT: That's clearly a Wal-Mart vest that The Cheat is wearing there, I think, Mike.

MIKE: Also, there's "Alone in the Dark" back there. Is that... this is, okay, this is before that horrible "Alone in the Dark" movie that just came out.

MATT: Oh, yeah, did that already come out?

MIKE: Yeah! It was just in the theater for, like, two days.

MATT: Yeah. Bad idea.

{pause}

MIKE: So, what are we— Which one is this? Replacements?

MATT: Yeah, he's trying to find an heir to the throne!

MATT: Oooooh.

{pause until Strong Bad holds up the "Desterhoft" card}

MIKE: {sarcastic "surprised" voice} Hey, that's the name of the guy that sent the email!

MATT: {similar voice} That's a funny name.

MIKE: {imitates the "Deleted" buzzer, then again as Strong Bad deletes the email}

MATT: {of "DELORTED"} Oof. That brown screen is gross. I like it. Now this is our friend Craig Zobel, who... you all know. His favorite thing ever on our website is right here where Bubs attacks Strong Bad.

MIKE: That's just me being ba—being a lazy animator. It wasn't supposed to be funny.

MATT: {partially over the last line} No, that was you being a genius.

MIKE: It wasn't supposed to be funny.

MATT: It's hilarious.

MIKE: Didn't you record Strong Bad singing one of these scroll buttons songs for the scroll button menu?

MATT: Mm-hmm. I did.

MIKE: We oughta use that.

MATT: Never have. Maybe we should. It's been the same one for a while now.

MIKE: Yeah.

MATT: {of the box with Strong Sad's image} That Strong Sad drawing is pretty great. The Cheat clearly drew that for him. {after Strong Bad's "Those are not feet."} What are they called, Mike?

MIKE: Soolnds?

MATT: Soolnd.

{pause}

MATT: Um...

MIKE: So we got a dance party coming up where Coach Z is doing our friend Claire's dance.

MATT: Mm-hmm. I remember... that's a good dance.

MIKE: There it is.

MATT: The Claire dance. I don't know if Claire knows that we have Coach Z doing her dance.

MIKE: Does she know we have a name for her dance?

MATT: I don't know if she knows that either. I hope she doesn't get mad.

MIKE: I did all this. That's why the dances are pretty lame.

MATT: Homestar is singing in a dance contest, Mike. He doesn't, he obviously doesn't know what's going on.

MIKE: Even if it was a singing contest, it was a pretty bad song.

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: I dunno what he's talking about, but I dunno what he just put on his face.

{they laugh}

MATT: It's a great song, I think. It's very interesting. It makes you wonder. What did— and what happened that spawned that?

MIKE: I don't wanna know.

{pause until The Paper}

MIKE: {sighs} That's it.

MATT: Preeow.

[edit] Fun Facts

  • Hostess is a manufacturer of various snack cakes and pastries, most famously the Twinkie.
  • The critically panned 2005 film Alone in the Dark, a box-office failure, was based on the video game of the same name, which was in the Floppy Disk Container in this email.

[edit] External Links

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