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Strong Bad Email #105
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Here lies String Bed.

String Bed witnesses an NDE.

Cast (in order of appearance): none

Places: tldr

Computer: Compy 386

Date: Sunday, November 11, 2012

Running Time: 3:22

Page Title: String Bed's Resurrection

DVD: strongbad_email.exe Disc Four

Transcript

{reading}

STRONG BAD: {typing} You've got a good point there, Jeffy.

{Strong Bad stops typing, picks up a knife, and stabs himself; fades to white}

{Fade to Strong Bad and Homestar standing in the Field, indicating that Strong Bad's life is flashing before his eyes.}

STRONG BAD: I'm gonna hold up a last name, and you make fun of it. {holds up a cue card with the word "Garglecock" written on it} Garglecock.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Crapface.

STRONG BAD: {holds up a cue card that reads "Weiner"} Weiner.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uhhhh, Crapface.

STRONG BAD: {changes cue card to "Butthole"} Butthole.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Crapface.

STRONG BAD: {changes cue card to "Crackhead"} Crackhead.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Crapface?

STRONG BAD: {changes cue card to "SES"} SES.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Let me think about it; {without hesitation} Crapface.

STRONG BAD: Not good enough. F minus minus.

{Fade to the computer room with Strong Bad and Coach Z in front of the Compy.}

STRONG BAD: Deleted.

{He presses a button on the keyboard and the Compy displays DELETED on a blue background, making the standard DELETED sound.}

COACH Z: {Vocoder effect} DELORTED!

{The Compy blows up. Strong Bad looks surprised.}

{Fade to the basement with Strong Bad and Bubs and a cardboard box with "unsure Squidward" drawn on it sitting on the couch.}

STRONG BAD: Squidward's on the couch, watching TV. What do you do?

BUBS: Kick him in the balls!

STRONG BAD: That's good, that's good. What else?

BUBS: Kick him in the balls!

STRONG BAD: Yeah, yeah! Keep going!

BUBS: {turns to face Strong Bad} Kick you in the balls!

{Bubs starts to approach Strong Bad, waving his arms and yelling menacingly in a demonic overtone}

STRONG BAD: {nervously} No, no, Bubs, calm down, this is only a drill!

{Fade to Marzipan's house with Strong Bad and Marzipan holding Carol.}

STRONG BAD: Let's hear your best song.

MARZIPAN: {playing the guitar to the tune of "Song of Storms" from LoZ: Ocarina of Time}

STRONG BAD: {sarcastically} Oh, right, right, the worst song I ever heard. Play another one!

MARZIPAN: {playing the guitar to the tune of "Gino's Theme" from Super Mario RPG}

{Strong Bad groans. Fade to the basement, with Strong Bad, Strong Sad, and the same cardboard box with "unsure Squidward" on it.}

STRONG BAD: Okay, Strong Sad, Squidward's on the couch, watching TV. What do you do?

STRONG SAD: {in Bubs' voice} Kick him in the balls!

STRONG BAD: Those are not balls!

{Fade to the field with Homestar, Strong Bad and The Cheat. The Cheat is wearing a cardboard box that has a drawing of MOAR Krabs on it.}

STRONG BAD: Now I want you to pretend this is The Cheat, and give him a good, swift, kick in the balls!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {bends one of his legs back, then pauses} Umm... {puts his leg back down} Crapface.

{Fade to the field with a cosmic sky, black bushes, tombstones surrounding Strong Bad's, and the "unsure Squidward" fading from the background. A big tombstone is on the foreground. The words "HERE LIES STRONG BAD" are carved on the slab. Fade to white}

{Cut to Strong Bad back on his computer}

STRONG BAD: Ugh. {typing} This process is not processing very well. I suppose I should cut to the chase and haul out the big guns...

{Strong Bad pulls out 2 guns and blows his head off; fade to white}

{Cut to Strong Bad at his computer.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Uh, this process is not processing very well. Looks like I'm gonna be killing Cheats 'til the day I die. {stops typing} Whoa, that'd make an awesome tattoo! Or an even better epitaph!

{The Paper pulls down with the words "Copyright 2012 Viacom"}

{Cuts to an image of Mr. Krabs making a goofy face from the SpongeBob episode "Clams"}

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