secret identity

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Strong Bad Email #142
watch death metal some kinda robot

Chris from Laramie, Wyoming, asks Strong Bad if he has any secret identities. Strong Bad discusses several options.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Poopsmith, Homestar Runner, The King of Town, Bubs, Marzipan

Places: Computer Room, Bubs' Concession Stand, Trailer Home, Smoky Office, Marzipan's House

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: January 25, 2006

Running Time: 3:42

Contents

Transcript

{Strong Bad types "strongbad_email.wad" and presses enter.}

STRONG BAD: Initiate sbemail-refresh daemon.

{Strong Bad sings "Wy" as "why" in a soft high-pitched voice.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Chris, let me be frank. The term "rockin' cool" is so uncool it makes my face hurt.

{clears screen}

STRONG BAD: Okay, now all the "rockin' cool"s are off the screen.

{He shrieks as he realizes what he's typed, and clears the screen again.}

STRONG BAD: They're gone. Those things are vicious. Anyway Frank, I believe your question was about my secret identity. Well, let me ask you this: have you ever seen The Poopsmith and I in the same place at the same time?

{Cut to a wide shot of the computer room. The Poopsmith is standing behind Strong Bad and to his right.}

STRONG BAD: Dun dun DUUUNH! That's right! It is I who dons the crappy orange gloves and shovels—

{The Poopsmith jabs Strong Bad a couple of times with his shovel. Strong Bad stops typing and turns to face him.}

STRONG BAD: What the?! What are you doing here? {shakes his fist a little as he talks} You ruined my scam, man! I was gonna have all of everyone believing that I was you and that the teeming pile of whatsit was really a smoldering pile of money covered in whatsit. How'd you get in here anyways?

{Homestar Runner approaches from the left side of the computer, holding a hamburger.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I let him in. {to The Poopsmith} Here you go. {hands him the hamburger} Oh, {angrily turns to face Strong Bad} and you're out of mayo.

{Homestar and The Poopsmith exit toward the left. Strong Bad turns and addresses the camera.}

STRONG BAD: Is there like a sign on my door that says {makes a sweeping gesture} "Wanted: Everyone I hate. Inquire within"?

{The King of Town approaches from the right side of the computer.}

THE KING OF TOWN: I didn't see one.

{Strong Bad utters some frustrated gibberish and turns back to the computer.}

STRONG BAD: {resumes typing} So apparently I'm not The Poopsmith. But I got lots of secret identities. Lately, I've been using this one: Tip Tappers: Expensive Briefcase Carrier. I use Mr. Tappers when I'm on tour and I want to check into a hotel and not be bothered by legions of fans.

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand—make that Bubs' Motor Lodge—at night. On the sign is a neon caricature of Bubs' head with three neon Z's next to it, each of which light up in cascading fashon. Bubs is wearing a nametag and Strong Bad has with him a briefcase. A sign-in book is on the counter.}

BUBS: And what name will this room be under?

STRONG BAD: Uh, Tip Tappers, please. Unless some girl asks what room Strong Bad's in. And she's at least a seven out of ten. Or uh {thinks} six if she's naked.

BUBS: That'll be nine hundred dollars Mr. {clears his throat loudly} Tappers.

{Homestar emerges from behind the building, carrying an empty ice bucket and dressed in a robe, a gold shirt, and pink bunny slippers.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Is there an ice machine around here?

BUBS: Certainly, Mr. Dee Williams.

{Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} And then there's Vance Mudgeman. I use that identity when I drop in on my secret second family over in Broiter Grove. Ahh, those kids love Daddy Mudgeman.

{Cut to the trailer home. Strong Bad is sitting in a green armchair watching TV. He is wearing a grease-stained wife-beater T-shirt and has a couple of days' growth of beard stubble on his face. Kids' laughter can be heard in the background.}

STRONG BAD: {to someone off screen} You get back here with that remote, Jeffrey Peppry Mudgeman. I'm not afraid to smack— {holds up his glove menacingly}

{Cut abruptly back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Yes, well, you gotta be firm. {clears his throat} And then there's the secret identity I use to write my advice column for a popular women's magazine.

{An issue of Scarfgirl appears from the bottom of the screen.}

STRONG BAD: Using the pseudoname Cara Carabowditbowdit, I'm slowly but surely making the girls of the world cooler for all us dudes.

{Cut to the journalist's office. Strong Bad sits at an old typewriter, wearing a brown wig with a skull and bone on it.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Dear Buttless in Bedstuy, Sounds like YOU need to play more video games, galpal. And not those girly ones where you pretend to be a dog nor a frog neither. I'm talkin' about the explodey ones. The kind that make you dizzy when you play 'em. Then maybe your guy will stop taling about his ex. Eat a Steak, Cara Carabowditbowdit. {He finishes by typing "XOXOXO".}

{Cut to Marzipan's house. Marzipan and Homestar are sitting together on her couch, and Marzipan is reading Scarfgirl.}

MARZIPAN: {angrily} This lady doesn't know what she's talking about. And I don't like her pseudoname.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, you're probably just jealous 'cause she gets all the hot boys.

{A crumpled ball of paper flies in from off screen and hits Homestar in the face.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan, mail's here.

{He reaches down and picks it up.}

MARZIPAN: What's it say?

{Homestar uncrumples it and reads the following. Strong Bad has scribbled over his own name.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No I don't. Strong Bad. I mean, Cara Carabowditbowdit.

MARZIPAN: See, I told you.

{Cut back to the Lappy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} So you see? Secret identities aren't just for superheroes and Garth Brooks anymore. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have several butts to jettison from my home.

{He gets up and goes off to the left.}

STRONG BAD: {grunts from off screen as he throws Homestar}

{Homestar flies across the screen and lands with a thud.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks for having me overrrrr!

STRONG BAD: {grunts from off screen as he throws the King.}

{The King, too, flies across the screen and lands with a thud.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Worst mayonnaise party everrrr!

{The Poopsmith walks across while being prodded all the while by Strong Bad using a fondue fork.}

STRONG BAD: Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out.

{The Paper comes down.}

Easter Eggs

  • After Strong Bad says "Laramie.....Why?", click on the phrase to get a book of the same name, written by Beverly and Lem Sportsinterviews.
  • After Strong Bad types "So apparently I'm not The Poopsmith," click on the phrase to see a picture of the Poopsmith with Strong Bad's head, feet, and hands.
  • While Strong Bad is checking in to Bubs' Motor Lodge, click on the reservations book to see it up close.

Fun Facts

Trivia

  • Bubs' marquee reads:
BUBS' MOTOR
   LODGE
(in small lettering:)
FORMERLY BUBSO'S CONCES5ION STAND
  • Bubs' nametag reads:
My Name
BUBS
  • Homestar's shirt reads:
I (heart)
TOXIC
WASTE

Remarks

  • Strong Bad does not type his customary filename (Strongbad_email.exe) to launch his email client.

Inside References

  • The room in which Vance Mudgeman is sitting (with the moose lamp and "Born to be Danged" poster) is in a double-wide trailer, first seen in the email portrait.
  • "BUBSO'S CONCE5SION STAND" is a reference to geddup noise.
  • "Laramie.....Why?" is a referece to the book "Eww...Claire! Why?" from origins.

Real-World References

  • The mention of Garth Brooks is a reference to his alter-ego, Chris Gaines.
  • On that same note, both "Strongbad_email.wad" and "Initiate sbemail-refresh daemon." is a shout-out to the old PC computer game, Doom. WAD files contain level, graphical, and sound-replacement files for the game. As for "Initiate sbemail-refresh daemon," this is almost the exact same line first seen as Doom and Doom II load: the original line is "Init DOOM refresh daemon" followed by brackets that filled with 26 dots, which served as the text-based load progress bar.
  • The disk on Strong Bad's desk says Sam and Max, which was a fairly popular point-and-click adventure game (Sam & Max Hit the Road) by LucasGames based on the comic strip of similar name (Sam and Max Freelance Police).

External Links

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