secret identity
From Homestar Runner Wiki
Strong Bad Email #142 |
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Chris from Laramie, Wyoming, asks Strong Bad if he has any secret identities. Strong Bad discusses several options.
Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Poopsmith, Homestar Runner, The King of Town, Bubs, Marzipan
Places: Computer Room, Bubs' Concession Stand, Trailer Home, Smoky Office, Marzipan's House
Computer: Lappy 486
Date: January 25, 2006
Running Time: 3:42
Contents |
Transcript
{Strong Bad types "strongbad_email.wad" and presses enter.}
STRONG BAD: Initiate sbemail-refresh daemon.
subject: noneDear Strongbad,
Do you have a secret Identity? cause you know that
would be the kinda rockin' cool thing you'd have.
Chris
Laramie, Wy
{Strong Bad sings "Wy" as "why" in a soft high-pitched voice.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Chris, let me be frank. The term "rockin' cool" is so uncool it makes my face hurt.
{clears screen}
STRONG BAD: Okay, now all the "rockin' cool"s are off the screen.
{He shrieks as he realizes what he's typed, and clears the screen again.}
STRONG BAD: They're gone. Those things are vicious. Anyway Frank, I believe your question was about my secret identity. Well, let me ask you this: have you ever seen The Poopsmith and I in the same place at the same time?
{Cut to a wide shot of the computer room. The Poopsmith is standing behind Strong Bad and to his right.}
STRONG BAD: Dun dun DUUUNH! That's right! It is I who dons the crappy orange gloves and shovels—
{The Poopsmith jabs Strong Bad a couple of times with his shovel. Strong Bad stops typing and turns to face him.}
STRONG BAD: What the?! What are you doing here? {shakes his fist a little as he talks} You ruined my scam, man! I was gonna have all of everyone believing that I was you and that the teeming pile of whatsit was really a smoldering pile of money covered in whatsit. How'd you get in here anyways?
{Homestar Runner approaches from the left side of the computer, holding a hamburger.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I let him in. {to The Poopsmith} Here you go. {hands him the hamburger} Oh, {angrily turns to face Strong Bad} and you're out of mayo.
{Homestar and The Poopsmith exit toward the left. Strong Bad turns and addresses the camera.}
STRONG BAD: Is there like a sign on my door that says {makes a sweeping gesture} "Wanted: Everyone I hate. Inquire within"?
{The King of Town approaches from the right side of the computer.}
THE KING OF TOWN: I didn't see one.
{Strong Bad utters some frustrated gibberish and turns back to the computer.}
STRONG BAD: {resumes typing} So apparently I'm not The Poopsmith. But I got lots of secret identities. Lately, I've been using this one: Tip Tappers: Expensive Briefcase Carrier. I use Mr. Tappers when I'm on tour and I want to check into a hotel and not be bothered by legions of fans.
{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand—make that Bubs' Motor Lodge—at night. On the sign is a neon caricature of Bubs' head with three neon Z's next to it, each of which light up in cascading fashon. Bubs is wearing a nametag and Strong Bad has with him a briefcase. A sign-in book is on the counter.}
BUBS: And what name will this room be under?
STRONG BAD: Uh, Tip Tappers, please. Unless some girl asks what room Strong Bad's in. And she's at least a seven out of ten. Or uh {thinks} six if she's naked.
BUBS: That'll be nine hundred dollars Mr. {clears his throat loudly} Tappers.
{Homestar emerges from behind the building, carrying an empty ice bucket and dressed in a robe, a gold shirt, and pink bunny slippers.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Is there an ice machine around here?
BUBS: Certainly, Mr. Dee Williams.
{Cut back to the Lappy.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} And then there's Vance Mudgeman. I use that identity when I drop in on my secret second family over in Broiter Grove. Ahh, those kids love Daddy Mudgeman.
{Cut to the trailer home. Strong Bad is sitting in a green armchair watching TV. He is wearing a grease-stained wife-beater T-shirt and has a couple of days' growth of beard stubble on his face. Kids' laughter can be heard in the background.}
STRONG BAD: {to someone off screen} You get back here with that remote, Jeffrey Peppry Mudgeman. I'm not afraid to smack— {holds up his glove menacingly}
{Cut abruptly back to the Lappy.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Yes, well, you gotta be firm. {clears his throat} And then there's the secret identity I use to write my advice column for a popular women's magazine.
{An issue of Scarfgirl appears from the bottom of the screen.}
STRONG BAD: Using the pseudoname Cara Carabowditbowdit, I'm slowly but surely making the girls of the world cooler for all us dudes.
{Cut to the journalist's office. Strong Bad sits at an old typewriter, wearing a brown wig with a skull and bone on it.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} Dear Buttless in Bedstuy, Sounds like YOU need to play more video games, galpal. And not those girly ones where you pretend to be a dog nor a frog neither. I'm talkin' about the explodey ones. The kind that make you dizzy when you play 'em. Then maybe your guy will stop taling about his ex. Eat a Steak, Cara Carabowditbowdit. {He finishes by typing "XOXOXO".}
{Cut to Marzipan's house. Marzipan and Homestar are sitting together on her couch, and Marzipan is reading Scarfgirl.}
MARZIPAN: {angrily} This lady doesn't know what she's talking about. And I don't like her pseudoname.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aw, you're probably just jealous 'cause she gets all the hot boys.
{A crumpled ball of paper flies in from off screen and hits Homestar in the face.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan, mail's here.
{He reaches down and picks it up.}
MARZIPAN: What's it say?
{Homestar uncrumples it and reads the following. Strong Bad has scribbled over his own name.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: No I don't. Strong Bad. I mean, Cara Carabowditbowdit.
MARZIPAN: See, I told you.
{Cut back to the Lappy.}
STRONG BAD: {typing} So you see? Secret identities aren't just for superheroes and Garth Brooks anymore. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have several butts to jettison from my home.
{He gets up and goes off to the left.}
STRONG BAD: {grunts from off screen as he throws Homestar}
{Homestar flies across the screen and lands with a thud.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks for having me overrrrr!
STRONG BAD: {grunts from off screen as he throws the King.}
{The King, too, flies across the screen and lands with a thud.}
THE KING OF TOWN: Worst mayonnaise party everrrr!
{The Poopsmith walks across while being prodded all the while by Strong Bad using a fondue fork.}
STRONG BAD: Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out.
{The Paper comes down.}
Easter Eggs
- After Strong Bad says "Laramie.....Why?", click on the phrase to get a book of the same name, written by Beverly and Lem Sportsinterviews.
- After Strong Bad types "So apparently I'm not The Poopsmith," click on the phrase to see a picture of the Poopsmith with Strong Bad's head, feet, and hands.
- While Strong Bad is checking in to Bubs' Motor Lodge, click on the reservations book to see it up close.
Fun Facts
Explanations
- Bedstuy is short for Bedford Stuyvesant, in Brooklyn, NY.
- A daemon is refers to a background process running on a computer which performs some important service.
Trivia
- Bubs' marquee reads:
BUBS' MOTOR LODGE (in small lettering:) FORMERLY BUBSO'S CONCES5ION STAND
- Bubs' nametag reads:
My Name BUBS
- Homestar's shirt reads:
I (heart) TOXIC WASTE
- Bub's Motor Lodge Registry reads:
one double - mr. allen poe PAID! queen suite - ms. cousteau one king - mr. boyardee PAID! PAID! smelly cot - mr. five freddy posh suite - mr. chamberlain DISCO TAPE! COMPED! one racecar bed - mr. dee williams one grill - ms. tessmocker PAID TWICE! PENCIL SHAVINGS!
Remarks
- The sound when Strong Bad is poking the Poopsmith to make him leave is the "Drip" error sound from the old Mac OS.
Inside References
- The room in which Vance Mudgeman is sitting (with the moose lamp and "Born to be Danged" poster) is in a double-wide trailer, first seen in the email portrait.
- "BUBSO'S CONCE5SION STAND" is a reference to geddup noise.
- The racecar bed in Bubs' registry is a reference to Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 10.2, where Homestar buys a racecar bed.
- Ms. Tessmocker in Bubs' registry is probably The Cheat, as it mentions his grill, and it says he payed in pencil shavings, as he did in lackey.
- Strong Bad prods the Poopsmith with a fondue fork to encourage him to leave. Homestar has borrowed Strong Bad's fondue set at least once.
- Bubs' name tag is a refrence to Puppets on the Road, where Shark-Tooth Bubs says "My name Shark-Tooth Bubs."
Real-World References
- The email intro, "initiate sbemail refresh daemon", is a reference to the Doom start up message "Init DOOM refresh daemon". Strong Bad then types Strongbad_email.wad instead of the usual .exe. The WAD extension is used for levels in Doom.
- The mention of Garth Brooks is a reference to his alter-ego, Chris Gaines.
- Both "Strongbad_email.wad" and "Initiate sbemail-refresh daemon" are shout-outs to the PC game, Doom. WAD files contain level, graphical, and sound-replacement files for the game. As for "Initiate sbemail-refresh daemon," this is almost the exact same line first seen as Doom and Doom II, which reads, "Init DOOM refresh daemon."
- The disk on Strong Bad's desk says Sam and Max, which was a fairly popular point-and-click adventure game (Sam & Max Hit the Road) by LucasArts based on the comic strip of similar name (Sam and Max Freelance Police).
- "Mr. Dee Williams" refers to Billy Dee Williams, who played Lando Calrissian in the original Star Wars films.
- Mr. allen poe refers to morbid 19th century poet Edgar Allan Poe.
- Mr. boyardee refers to Chef Boyardee, who is famous for his line of pre-cooked, ready to re-heat italian foods.
- Mr. chamberlain most likely refers to basketball star Wilt Chamberlain or drummer Jimmy Chamberlain
- Ms. Tessmocker is a reference to Valerie Perrine who played the role of Lex Luthor's secretary, Eve Tesmacher, in the 1978 Superman: The Movie. This is not the first time an email has referenced this movie.
- The mention of video games "where you pretend to be a dog" is a reference to the PS2 game Dog's Life.
- Mr. Five Freddy refers to Fab Five Freddy, the first hip-hop VJ by hosting the MTV music video show entitled "Yo! MTV Raps".
External Links
- Watch "secret identity"
- View the Flash file for "secret identity"
- forum thread re: "secret identity"