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'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{quietly}'' Oh crap! DWAYNE!
'''STRONG BAD:''' ''{quietly}'' Oh crap! DWAYNE!
''{Strong Bad turns into a colorful scarf, with a tag on it reading "From: Grandma". Homestar walks in holding a chessboard with a white dessert on top of it.}''
''{Strong Bad turns into a colorful scarf, with a tag on it reading "From: Grandma". Homestar walks in holding a chessboard with a white dessert on top of it and assorted chess pieces.}''
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{angrily}'' Oh. It's you again, scarf from Grandma! Never mind.
'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{angrily}'' Oh. It's you again, scarf from Grandma! Never mind.

Revision as of 04:46, 1 April 2008

Strong Bad Email #192
watch buried rated
"I said a tiger, not a poodle!"

Strong Bad explains why shapeshifting isn't as attractive as it sounds.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Marzipan, Bubs, Coach Z, Homestar Runner

Places: Computer Room, The Field, Bubs' Concession Stand

Computer: Lappy 486

Date: Monday, March 31, 2008

Running Time: 4:04 official, 4:07 actual

Page Title: Lappy 486



STRONG BAD: Back again. Checking email from my friends. I mean, the stupid people that write me.

{Strong Bad reads "waht" as "waaaaaat," with high inflection. He also reads "Paxton Westergard Anacortes, Washington" as the sender's full name.}

STRONG BAD: Ugh. You'll never be a weatherman with a name like that. How about just... Paxto West? {typing} Now you might think I'd be all over this shapeshifting business Paxto, but if comic books, cartoons, and Sci-Fi Original Movies have taught me anything, it's that shapeshifting comes with a bunch of boring rules and restrictions that limit its potential Turn-Into-A-Bulldozer-Whenever-I-Wantity. {clears screen, speaks in mocking voice} You can turn into a machine gun but not bullets, contemporary jazz turns you back to normal, you can only turn into presents your grandma's knitted for you. {speaks normally} Crap like that. For example, let's say I could turn into any species... OF BALLOON ANIMAL!!??

{Cut to the Field. Strong Bad, Marzipan and The Cheat are there. The Cheat's fur is messed up and he's foaming at the mouth}

STRONG BAD: Look out! A rabid The Cheat! I'll handle this!

{The scene pauses as if it's a video tape}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Oh yeah. Another thing about shapeshifting is that you have to have a cool trademark sound effect that happens every time you change forms.

{The scene unpauses}

STRONG BAD: Shapeshift unto... A Sumatran tiger! DWAYNE!

{The word "DWAYNE!!" appears Strong Bad and fades, as it continues to do every time he shapeshifts. Strong Bad turns into a pink, four-legged balloon animal}

STRONG BAD: I said a tiger, not a poodle! DWAYNE. {Turns into a blue balloon animal of the same shape, but with a different tail.} A tiger, not a donkey. Dwayne. {The sound effect appears in lowercase, and Strong Bad turns into an orange balloon animal, still of the same shape, but with shorter ears and muzzle.} That's better. Now stand back! {The wind starts to blow Strong Bad away.} Um...

{The Cheat jumps at Marzipan and she gasps. Then the scene is paused again.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} Ooh, but what if I could turn into legal tender? {Cut to Strong Bad approaching Bubs' Concession Stand} One of the only good legal things in existence.

STRONG BAD: Say, Bubs. How much for that Lamborghini hot tub you got back there?

BUBS: The what? {Looks down} Oh! That Lamborghini hot tub. It sure is back here! That'll run you one hundred... {Bubs and Strong Bad jerk their heads back twice} dollars.

STRONG BAD: Swedish deals! Shapeshift unto... A hundred dollar bill! DWAYNE!

{Strong Bad turns into a hundred dollar bill, which floats down onto the counter, then is blown away by the wind.}

STRONG BAD: {voiceover} So... Apparently wind is a pretty big problem for most shapeshifters.

{Cut to Coach Z walking along. Strong Bad floats nearby.}

COACH Z: Hey, check it out! A Benjamin! {Snatches Strong Bad out of the air and puts him in a pocket, causing drops of liquid to go flying} I'll just tuck you into the loose band of my sweaty-sweat-sweats! {Hits his waist for emphasis. More liquid goes flying}

{Cut to Strong Bad lying on the floor next to his computer chair}

STRONG BAD: {distressed} Blaaaaaaaggghhhh. Hang on. Lemme try again. What if I could turn into... almost anyone in the world? Is that too much to ask?

{Cut to Strong Bad and The Cheat in the Field. They are standing next to a large structure made from round objects}

STRONG BAD: Don't worry! I know just how to get us through this ten-foot thick wall of pecan cheese balls! Shapeshift unto... The King of Town! DYWANE! {Turns into the King of Town. His voice stays the same, however} Norwegian deals! It worked! This should only take a few seconds! {He leans forward and makes chomping noises. The wall of pecan cheese balls is unaffected} R— why isn't this working? {Turns side on. Half of him is missing. Strong Bad speaks bitterly} Oh, I get it. {The Cheat screams and runs away} I can turn into almost anyone. Well, two can play at this game, dumb rules of shapeshifting!

{Cut to Strong Bad, back in his normal form, at Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs isn't there}

STRONG BAD: Say Bubs, I'd like one Lamborghini hot tub for free, please. Shapeshift unto Bubs! DWYANE! {Strong Bad turns into Bubs's legs} Oh man! I turned into the wrong "almost". This plan was supposed to be foolproof. All anybody ever sees is Bubs' ample top portions!

COACH Z: {Offscreen} Oh Bubs! Oh Bubs! I'm coming to your concession stand to talk to you!

STRONG BAD: Wait. Maybe I can still make this work! {He jumps onto the counter, turning himself upside-down in the process}

{Coach Z comes onscreen}

COACH Z: Hey, nice headstand, Bubs. I'd like one Lamborghini hot tub, please. {pulls out some money from his pocket} Allow me to use this moistened hundred dollar bill I found earlier today.

STRONG BAD: Wait, what?

{Strong Bad the balloon animal floats past}

COACH Z: Oh look! A giraffe!

{Cut back to Strong Bad sitting at his computer}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Uh, that was confusing. See what I mean? Shapeshifting is laden with confusing troubles and a severe lack of hot tubs.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {offscreen} Oh Strong Bad! Oh Strong Bad, I'm coming to your computer desk to talk to you!

STRONG BAD: {quietly} Oh crap! DWAYNE!

{Strong Bad turns into a colorful scarf, with a tag on it reading "From: Grandma". Homestar walks in holding a chessboard with a white dessert on top of it and assorted chess pieces.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {angrily} Oh. It's you again, scarf from Grandma! Never mind.

{He turns and walks away}

STRONG BAD: Phew. Maybe it's not all bad. Thanks, G-mom's.

{New Paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

"Local weather with Tire!"
  • Click on the words "Paxton Westergard" after Strong Bad says "Paxto West" to see a picture of the Tire as a weather forecaster.
  • At the end click on Strong Bad to make him shapeshift from the scarf to a balloon animal, a $100 bill, Bubs's legs, Strong Bad, and back to the scarf.

Fun Facts




  • In the Easter egg at the end, Strong Bad appears in front of New Paper rather than behind it, as he normally does.

Inside References

Real World References

  • The Sci Fi Channel is a TV network that specializes in science fiction and speculative fiction programming.

External Links

Personal tools