videography

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Strong Bad Email #205
watch dictionary sbemail206
"You name it! I'll videographa...fize it!"

Robert McSwain needs a "videographer." Strong Bad is happy to oblige.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homestar Runner, Grandmaw Auntpaw (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Living Room of The Brothers Strong, The Classroom, The Field, Basement of The Brothers Strong, Coach Z's Locker Room, The Garage, Homestar Runner's House, Marzipan's House

Computer: Compé

Date: Monday, October 5, 2009

Running Time: 3:30

Page Title: Compy Compé

Contents

Transcript

{Strong Bad is at the Compé. The wallpaper is a picture of marshmallows.}

STRONG BAD: Checkin' e-mails with boxing gloves. The sweet computer science. {double-clicks on the sbemail.exe icon}

{Strong Bad reads "aka" as written and "ITS Department" as "It's Da Partment!"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Well McSwobert, that works out perfectly, because "videographer" is just one of my many professions that have quotes around them.

{clears screen}

STRONG BAD: {typing} I'm also a "heart surgeon," a "licensed technician," a "poultry farmer," and a "fireman." And you say you're getting married in August? So like, 2 months ago? Also, not a problem. My videograph will have so many fancy wipes, fades, and transitions, your wife will never even know you guys aren't in it! Take a look at my demo reel.

{cut through static to a miniature screen of Strong Bad in The Field. It disjointedly gets larger until it fills the entire screen}

STRONG BAD: Hello there. I'm famed quotation marked videographer Strong Bad. {as Strong Bad says the following effects, they are applied} Do you like quick zooms and solarizing effects? What about diamondy transitions, pixelated wipes, or slow fade-outs? All these effects and more will make your cherished event that happened last month be cherished forever.

(diamond cut to Locker Room}

STRONG BAD: Jimmy's lacrosse debacle never looked so good.

(Static cut to Strong Bad's shoes at The Field)

STRONG BAD: {Unintelligent mumbles} Little Jimmy is playing lacrosse! {More mumbles} Oh, he scores the winning lacrosse point! {A whistle is heard}

{Wipe to three lacrosse sticks being held in the air}

STRONG BAD: Oh, and his dad was totally there and not at Applebee's! {The camera lowers to reveal The Cheat holding the sticks.} Good shot, John-Jimmy!

{static cut to The Garage. Strong Bad is holding a CD with "Seedy Rom" written on it.}

STRONG BAD: Add panache, pizzaz, and pep with a Seedy Rom work of animated clip art and copyright-free classical music.

{Cut to a title screen reading "Video Evidence of Homestar & Marzipan's 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, and 10th Anniversary Celebration!!!"}

HOMESTAR: Are you sure this will work, aka Strong Bad?

{Cut to Homestar in his living room}

STRONG BAD: {whispered} Definitely! Just act like you're celebrating!

HOMESTAR: {dancing} Oh, twice! I'm a lavish gift-giver!

{Cut to Strong Bad in The Garage}

STRONG BAD: Weddings? Bar-mitzfvfahs? Bar-Fvfights? First steps? Droopy {snickers} drawers? You name it! I'll videographafize it!

{Cut to Strong Bad in a cowboy outfit at a table}

STRONG BAD: {in a faux-cowboy accent} Take family meat loaf night back to the ooold west! {normally} Did somebody say... sepia tones?

VOICES: Uh, no. I don't... think so. I definitely didn't.

{Cut to Strong Bad in the kitchen}

STRONG BAD: And with our new sweet sweet suite of video toasters, your precious memories will have titles that defy the very laws of reason.

{Cut to a picture of a decoration. "Your Wedding Video" appears onscreen. The word "Your" twiriled around in 3D, while a rocket sound was played. Cut to a picture of a rose. "The Union of ROBERT McSWAIN: VIDEO MEDIA TECHNOLOGIST and THE LADY HE MARRIED IN AUGUST" appears onscreen.}

STRONG BAD: Hopefully that will be enough to keep your wife from wondering why her video media technologist husband wasn't smart enough to think about putting a video camera on a tripod across the room and press record.

{Cut to Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: {typing} But you could probably also get away with just putting a label that says, 'WEDDIN TAPE' on a VHS cassette since none-out-of-none couples actually ever watch their wedding video. Unless of course a baby drops an f-bomb, somebody pukes in their toupee, or Grandmaw Auntpaw rolls down the stairs in her wheelchair. In which case you simply post it online and turn it into internet gold! And I can definitely arrange for some of that stuff to happen at your wedding, if you enlist my services as an "event coordinator." {stops typing; the words "event coordinator" shift slightly on each syllable} A-heh heh heh, heh heh heh-HEM.

{The Compé-per comes up}

Easter Eggs

  • Clicking on "internet gold" at the end brings up a scrap of paper showing the YouTube video ID for Coach Z pukes in dude's toupee.
  • Clicking on "Grandma Auntpaw" at the end shows a short clip of Strong Bad showing off his video camera.
    STRONG BAD: My state-of-the-art camera has a state-of-the-art microphone mounted right next to the giant videotape motor. So you're guaranteed to hear mostly that, and not what Grandmaw Auntpaw just said on her hundred-and-ninth birthday.
    {Title card reading "Grandmaw Auntpaw's 100-Somethingth Birthday Stand-around" appears. Cut to a scene showing a wall and the shadow of an old woman sitting in a wheelchair just out of frame. The recorder's motor plays loudly.}
    GRANDMAW AUNTPAW: {barely audible} I never loved any of you.

Fun Facts

Explanations

  • Lacrosse is a field sport played with a solid rubber ball and long-handled racqutes. The object of the game is to score the most goals by shooting the ball into the net, much like hockey.
  • Video Toaster is a hardware and software system for editing and adding effects to videos. A version of the logo appears on Strong Bad's toasters.
  • The sport of boxing is sometimes referred to as The Sweet Science.

Remarks

  • While the e-mail says "Could you use your skills and powers and take on...", Strong Bad actually says "Could you use your skills and powers to take on..."
  • Clicking on "internet gold" originally linked directly to the YouTube video.

Inside References

Real-World References

  • Applebee's is a US chain of family dining restaurants (that used to be based in Atlanta).
  • Problem Child was a series of early 1990s films and an animated series about a bratty child. However, there were only three films in the series.

External Links


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