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Strong Bad Email #205
watch dictionary sbemail206
"You name it! I'll videographa...fize it!"

Robert McSwain needs a "videographer". Strong Bad is happy to oblige.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, The Cheat, Videlectrix Mascot, Homestar Runner, Grandmaw Auntpaw (Easter egg)

Places: Computer Room, Living Room of The Brothers Strong, The Classroom, The Field, Basement of The Brothers Strong, Coach Z's Locker Room, The Garage, Homestar Runner's House, Marzipan's House

Computer: Compé

Date: Monday, October 5, 2009

Running Time: 3:30

Page Title: Compy Compé



{Strong Bad is at the Compé. The wallpaper is a picture of marshmallows.}

STRONG BAD: Checkin' e-mails with boxing gloves. The sweet computer science. {double-clicks on the sbemail.exe icon}

{Strong Bad reads "aka" as written, "and take on" as "to take on", and "ITS Department" as "Iiiit's Da Partment!"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Well McSwobert, that works out perfectly, because "videographer" is just one of my many professions that have quotes around them.

{clears screen}

STRONG BAD: {typing} I'm also a—

{as Strong Bad lists the professions, a photo of him appears with the name at the bottom, and they each show him in the proper attire, and wielding a chainsaw. For "fireman", the chainsaw is on fire.}

STRONG BAD: {voice over, still typing} "heart surgeon," a "licensed technician," a "poultry farmer," and a "fireman." And you say you're getting married in August? So like, 2 months ago? Also, not a problem. My videograph will have so many fancy wipes, fades, and transitions, your wife will never even know you guys aren't in it! Take a look at my demo reel.

{cut through static to a miniature screen of Strong Bad in The Field. It disjointedly gets larger until it fills the entire screen}

STRONG BAD: Hello there. I'm famed quotation marked videographer Strong Bad. {The word "Videog-rapher" appears onscreen, taking up two lines} Do you like quick zooms and solarizing effects? What about diamondy transitions, pixelated wipes, or slow fade-outs? {an example of each of these effects is shown as Strong Bad names them} All these effects and more will make your cherished event that happened last month be cherished forever.

(diamond cut to Locker Room}

STRONG BAD: Jimmy's lacrosse debacle never looked so good.

(the screen briefly solarises. Static cut to Strong Bad's shoes at The Field)

STRONG BAD: {Unintelligible mumbles} Little Jimmy is playing lacrosse! {More mumbles, the POV briefly switches up to a view of the sun} Oh, he scores the winning... lacrosse point! {A whistle is heard}

{Pixel wipe to three lacrosse sticks being held in the air}

STRONG BAD: Oh, and his dad was totally there and not at Applebee's! {The camera lowers to reveal The Cheat holding the sticks before clock-wiping back to Strong Bad's shoes} {the text "Good Shot, Johnny!" appears on-screen} Good shot, John—Jimmy! {the on-screen caption corrects the name}

{static cut to The Garage. There are four VCRs stacked on the table. Strong Bad is holding a CD with "Seedy Rom" written on it.}

STRONG BAD: Add panache, pizzazz, and pep with a Seedy Rom work of unanimated clip art and copyright-free classical music.

{Videlectrix Mascot-wipe to a title screen reading "Video Evidence of Homestar & Marzipan's 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, and 10th Anniversary Celebration!!!" Classical music plays}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {voice-over} Are you sure this will work, aka Strong Bad?

{Videlectrix Mascot backwards-wipe to Homestar in his living room}

STRONG BAD: {voice-over; whispered} Definitely! Just act like you're celebrating!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {dancing and throwing confetti} Oh, twice! I'm a lavish gift-giver!

{Cut back to Strong Bad in The Garage}

STRONG BAD: {As he says each name, a tape reading those words appears from each of the VCRs.} Weddings? Bar-mitzfvfahs? Bar-Fvfights? First steps? Droopy {snickers} drawers? {a photo of Lil' Strong Sad's backside appears.} You name it! I'll videographafize it!

{Cut to Strong Bad in a cowboy outfit at a table}

STRONG BAD: {in a faux-cowboy accent} Take family meatloaf night back to the ooold west! {normally} Did somebody say—

{cut to a meatloaf on the table. The image changes to sepia tone as Strong Bad speaks.}

STRONG BAD:sepia tones? {"Here Comes The Strong Bad" theme music plays, and the text "FAMILY MEATLOAF NIGHT" appears over the image}

VARIOUS VOICES: {voice-over} Uh, no. I don't... think so. I definitely didn't.

{Cut to Strong Bad in the kitchen}

STRONG BAD: And with our new sweet, sweet suite of video toasters, your precious memories will have titles that defy the very laws of reason.

{Cut to a picture of a decoration. The caption "YOUR WEDDING VIDEO" appears on-screen. The word "Your" twirls around in 3D, while a rocket sound plays.}

VOICES: {voice-over} Oooh!

{Cut to a picture of a rose. The text "The Union of ROBERT McSWAIN: VIDEO MEDIA TECHNOLOGIST and THE LADY HE MARRIED IN AUGUST" appears on-screen.}

STRONG BAD: {voice-over} Hopefully that will be enough to keep your wife from wondering why her video media technologist husband wasn't smart enough to think of putting a video camera on a tripod across the room and press record.

{Cut to Computer Room}

STRONG BAD: {typing} But you could probably also get away with just putting—

{cut to a shelf of VHS tapes. Two are labelled "blank", and a third is labelled "especially blank". Another with a blue label is titled "Problem Child 1-8"}

STRONG BAD: {voice-over} —a label that says "WEDDIN TAPE" on a VHS cassette— {Strong Bad places a piece of masking tape marked "WEDDIN TAPE" over the Problem Child video's label}

{cut back to the computer room}

STRONG BAD: {typing} —since none-out-of-none couples actually ever watch their wedding video. Unless of course a baby drops an f-bomb, somebody pukes in their toupee, or Grandmaw Auntpaw rolls down the stairs in her wheelchair. In which case you simply post it online and turn it into internet gold! And I can definitely arrange for some of that stuff to happen at your wedding, if you enlist my services as an "event coordinator." {stops typing; the words "event coordinator" shift slightly on each syllable} A-heh heh heh, heh heh heh-HEM.

{The Compé-per comes up}

Easter Eggs

  • Clicking on "Grandma Auntpaw" at the end shows a short clip of Strong Bad showing off his video camera.
    STRONG BAD: My state-of-the-art camera has a state-of-the-art microphone mounted right next to the giant videotape motor. So you're guaranteed to hear mostly that, and not what Grandmaw Auntpaw just said on her hundred-and-ninth birthday.
    {Title card reading "Grandmaw Auntpaw's 100-Somethingth Birthday Stand-around" appears. Cut to a scene showing a wall and the shadow of an old woman sitting in a wheelchair just out of frame. The recorder's motor plays loudly.}
    GRANDMAW AUNTPAW: {barely audible} I never loved any of you.
  • Clicking on "internet gold" at the end brings up a scrap of paper showing the YouTube video ID for Coach Z pukes in dude's toupee.

Fun Facts



  • Clicking on "internet gold" originally linked directly to the YouTube video.


  • After the camera zooms out in Marzipan's kitchen, the cabinet in the background is gone.
  • The "sbemail.exe" text overlaps the Email window for a single frame.

Inside References

Real-World References

  • Applebee's is a US chain of family dining restaurants (that used to be based in Atlanta).
  • Video Toaster is a hardware and software system for editing and adding effects to videos. A version of the logo appears on Strong Bad's toasters.
  • Problem Child was a series of early 1990s films and an animated series about a bratty child. However, there were only three films in the series.

External Links

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