Shopping for Danger

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Toon Category: Big Toon
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"Blue Laser's been spotted at a local grocery store on double coupon day!"

The Cheat Commandos rock, rock on in an adventure to stop Blue Laser from saving money on Double-Coupon Day.

Cast (in order of appearance): Gunhaver, Fightgar, Silent Rip, Crackotage, Reynold, Firebert, Blue Laser Commander, Blue Laser Minion, Blue Laser Babies

Places: Cheat Commandos HQ, Price Style, Blue Laser HQ (presumably Blue Laser Commander's Nana's Backyard)

Date: Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Running Time: 4:56

Page Title: Blue Las-alert, Kids! Cheat Commandos will be right back after these messages!

DVD: Everything Else, Volume 2

Contents

[edit] Transcript

{Open to "Cheat Commandos Now Returns..." title. Danger music, then theme music is heard.}

NARRATOR: We now return to Cheat Commandos.

{Cut to Cheat Commandos headquarters. A large inflatable Cheat Commando with a "SALE!" banner sits on the roof. A title which reads "'SHOPPING FOR DANGER' written by A. Chimendez" appears. Cut to inside headquarters where Gunhaver is talking to Fightgar, Silent Rip, and Crackotage. A portrait of Gunhaver hangs on the wall.}

GUNHAVER: So then I grabbed the Blue Laser by his collar and said, {vibrating voice} "You betta break yourself!"

{Fightgar, Silent Rip, and Crackotage laugh. Pan left to reveal Reynold standing behind Fightgar, et al.}

REYNOLD: Ha ha, yeah. {All turn to face him, Crackotage and Fightgar appear annoyed.} That's like how I labeled and alphabetized all you guys' combat accessories—

{Cut to wall where Flashfight's Flashlight, Foxface's Bulletproof Handbag, Gunhaver's Gun, Reinforcement's Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket, and Silent Rip's Loud Noise Silencer (which appears to be an ordinary pillow) hang, in alphabetical order.}

REYNOLD: —so it'll save on valuable mission time. {Cut back to group.} Kicka click-click, booyah! {Reynold pumps his arm.}

ALL except REYNOLD: {collective groan}

{A siren begins to sound and a pulsating red light fills the room. The Cheat Commandos look around in surprise.}

SILENT RIP: It's a Blue Las-alert!

GUNHAVER: Bring it up on screen.

{Gunhaver points off-screen. Cut to "THE SCREEN", which says "Blue Las-alert; hit enter for details". Silent Rip presses a key and an image labeled "file photo" of Blue Laser Commander and a Blue Laser minion at a grocery store appears on the screen.}

SILENT RIP: Blue Laser's been spotted at a local grocery store on double coupon day!

GUNHAVER: With the money Blue Laser could potentially save from those double coupons they could buy all kinds of super weapons that, like, {scratches head} turn babies into gold, or... {scratches head again} screw with the weather! Cheat Commandos... time to rock, rock on! {zoom in on Gunhaver and cue theme music}

{Cut to room with Gunhaver portrait where Fightgar and Crackotage are leaving.}

REYNOLD: Can I come, too?

FIGHTGAR: {laughs} Good one, Reynold-a!

CRACKOTAGE: {rhyming} You can't shoot, and you can't fly. If you came with us, you'd probably die! Hee hee ha ha!

{Fightgar and Crackotage exit.}

REYNOLD: {whining} Aw, I never get to go on any missions! I would be a good mission... guy. {slumps down sadly}

{Cut to a strip mall parking lot, daytime. A large blue tank with the Blue Laser logo on the side is double-parked in front of Price Style and Hausgood. The Cheat Commandos are seen from behind, marching up in silhouette. Cut to a hill behind which Gunhaver, Fightgar, Silent Rip, Crackotage, and Firebert are crouched. Gunhaver peers through a pair of binoculars with reflections of the tank in the lenses.}

GUNHAVER: It looks like Blue Laser's going to take advantage of Price Style's already low, low prices on paper towels and grout cleaner and use all the savings to make a button that will make it snow at the beach! {The other Commandos gasp in surprise.}

SILENT RIP: But, sir! What about beach volleyball?

GUNHAVER: There won't be {turns and shakes his fist at Silent Rip} any more beach volleyball! {all gasp, danger music plays}

GUNHAVER: {to Fightgar} Fightgar, use one of your awesome disguises to do a little {uses quote fingers} "undercover work".

{Zoom in on Fightgar, who turns "chicken yellow".}

FIGHTGAR: {groans} Gulp!

{Cut back to headquarters where Reynold stands in front of a mirror wearing an outfit that looks just like Gunhaver's. The sleeves are too long.}

REYNOLD: Step off, Blue Laser! Get your hands off those diskettes and fiscal reports! Don't make me use this gun that I have. {points with sleeve} Reynold's Commandos, let's rock 'n' roll! {shakes arms}

{Cut to Price Style interior, Aisle 6. Pan down to reveal Blue Laser Commander, who holds three rolls of "WIPE!" brand paper towels, and one of his minions.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: What happened to our buggy?!

BLUE LASER MINION 1: That other guy that looks just like me is using it to help some old lady do her shopping, sir.

COMMANDER: Old ladies SUCK!

{Cut to another minion and Fightgar wearing an old lady disguise which consists of a gray wig and a pair of green spectacles.}

FIGHTGAR: {points at shelf} 'Ere, could you reach that tub of Old Lady Rub for me, young man? 'Cause I'm an old lady.

BLUE LASER MINION 2: I never doubted that you were a lady, sir... ma'am.

{Enter Blue Laser Commander and Minion 1.}

COMMANDER: All right, grandma, make it quick.

FIGHTGAR: I was just wonderin' if you kind sonnies knew anything about makin' it snow at the beach?

COMMANDER: No, but I know how to end awkward conversations with the elderly! {to Minion 1} Let's go check out.

{Blue Laser Commander and his minions exit. Fightgar removes his spectacles and holds a small blue box with an antenna that is attached to his wrist up to his mouth. Cut to Gunhaver outside, who holds a larger blue box with an antenna and screen. Fightgar is on the screen.}

FIGHTGAR: Blue Laser's makin' his move.

GUNHAVER: All right, Cheat Commandos, let's move! {to Crackotage} Fire the new grappling hook zip line!

{Cut to Crackotage holding a large gun with a grappling hook at the end of the barrel. He fires and a rope begins spooling out of the gun. A tone sounds and the "Cheap As Free" logo appears in the corner. Cut to the tank in the parking lot where the rope wraps itself around the barrel of its gun. On the hill, Crackotage and Silent Rip descend the zip line.}

GUNHAVER: {to Firebert} Firebert, you stay here and think of a better commando name.

{Firebert looks sad and makes a The Cheat-like sigh. Gunhaver descends the zip line.}

GUNHAVER: Whee!

{Cut to headquarters, where Reynold is still dressed as Gunhaver. He has put his glasses on the head of an upturned mop in a bucket and stands next to Reinforcements's Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket.}

REYNOLD: {to mop} Why, yes, Foxface, I'd love to take you out on a classy date. But first I need to save the world from Blue Laser using my very own Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Reynold Rocket.

{Reynold straps the Rocket Backpack on his back. He falls backwards onto the Backpack.}

REYNOLD: Whoa! {Green lights appear on the backpack and it begins to shake and whir, making "powering up" sounds and expelling smoke.} Oh my land, I can't see this ending well.

{Cut to Price Style interior where Blue Laser Commander and two minions stand at the checkout with their shopping cart.}

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Oh, crap! I forgot my Price Style Plus Card!

{Glass shatters and Gunhaver and Crackotage leap to the ground in front of Blue Laser Commander. Silent Rip falls behind a checkout lane several aisles away and doesn't get up.}

GUNHAVER: Not so fast, Blue Laser!

COMMANDER: Ugh! I'm so sick of you people!

{Silent Rip stands up and peeks out from behind the checkout lane.}

GUNHAVER: The express lane is for ten items or less. You've got two too many!

COMMANDER: Those are the twins!

{Cut to a shopping cart with three rolls of WIPE! towels and two baby Blue Laser members, both with eye patches.}

BLUE LASER BABY 1: Ooo-waa.

BLUE LASER BABY 2: Ooo-weh.

{Cut to Silent Rip, whose wrist communicator is beeping.}

SILENT RIP: Sir! Cheat Commandos Headquarters playset is under attack!

GUNHAVER: We've been had, boys! This grocery store crap was just a diversion!

CRACKOTAGE: {rhyming} Back to base we're gonna head and make sure Reynold isn't dead! {laughs}

GUNHAVER: {as it wipes to the Headquarters} Wheee!

{Cut to Cheat Commandos Headquarters. There is a large hole in one wall with smoke streaming out of it and another unseen area. Cut to interior. Reynold is lying on his back atop the Rocket Backpack. His face is scorched as is a circle on the floor surrounding him, and he has lost his Gunhaver hat. There is large hole in the wall and some rubble litters the ground. Gunhaver enters.}

GUNHAVER: Reynold, are you all right?! What happened here? Nice jacket!

REYNOLD: Oh, Gunhaver, it's all my fault. I was upset that you never let me go on any missions so I tried on Reinforcements's Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket—

GUNHAVER: —so you could defend our base from Blue Laser! Gah! Good work, soldier! It's not your fault they got away!

REYNOLD: What?

{Cut to view of Gunhaver from above. He has his arm raised to the sky.}

GUNHAVER: Next episode, Blue Laser! Next episooooode!

{Fade to black. "Buy All Our Playsets and Toys!!" appears on the screen and is sung to music. Cut to a bathroom where a Blue Laser minion is standing in the bathtub, scrubbing the tile wall with a green sponge. Enter Blue Laser Commander.}

BLUE LASER MINION: The grout cleaner is working, sir.

BLUE LASER COMMANDER: Fan-freaking-tastic! At last we'll have the edge we need to crush the Cheat Commandos!! {Pan to show a computer screen which reads "Reason for not crushing Cheat Commandos". In large red blinking letters "MILDEW!!" appears. Danger music plays}

{Fade to "THE END."}

[edit] Easter Eggs

  • At the end of the film, click on The End. to see an extra scene in the grocery store and what happened to the Blue Laser Babies.
{Cut to Price Style interior.}
VOICE: {over intercom} I need a price check on two babies. Price check on two babies.

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] Trivia

  • This is the first time we see the Cheat Commandos HQ playset.
  • The letters JRBRR are inscribed on the side of the Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket.
  • If you zoom in on the silhouettes of The Cheat Commandos returning to the Cheat Commandos Headquarters playset, you can see that they are all actually just tiny silhouettes of Gunhaver.
  • Aisle six in the grocery store includes paper towels, soda types, bendy stuff, a cracker, grout clean'r, gym bags, green bottles, and blue bottles.
  • As Mike said in the DVD commentary, the Blue Laser Babies are voiced by Mike Chapman.

[edit] Remarks

  • In the first Cheat Commandos cartoon, Strong Bad uses a deep voice to do an impression of Reynold. However in this cartoon, Reynold has a high-pitched voice.
    • Strong Bad also made Firebert speak English, even though he only speaks The Cheat in this toon.
  • When Reynold is shown without his glasses, his eyes do not point in the same direction. This condition is known as Strabismus.
  • The song that plays in the shopping mart Easter egg is the Cheat Commandos theme toned down and rendered in a Muzak-like style.
  • There were five Cheat Commando members who went on the mission, but only four are shown returning.
  • When Reynold says "Don't make me use this gun that I have!" he is pretending to be Gunhaver. In the Easter egg of the first Cheat Commandos cartoon, it says on Gunhaver's box "has a gun!" This also explains the pronuncation of Gunhaver's name as "gun have-er".
  • At the end, a Blue Laser minion is using grout cleaner. "GROUT CLEAN'R" is one of the items displayed on the sign above the aisle in the grocery store.
  • Gunhaver's exclamation that he will get Blue Laser, "NEXT EPISODE!!!" is another example of breaking the fourth wall.
  • When the Cheat Commandos arrive at Price Style, the Price Style sign on the storefront should have read PRICE STYLE, but instead read PRiCE STYLE, an example of lowercase i's.
  • Blue Las-alert is a portmanteau.
  • As in Let us give TANKS!, there are indications that Gunhaver's mind is unbalanced with regard to Blue Laser; he seems to be reaching rather far for an evil plan to attribute to them, and his exclamation of "Next episode, Blue Laser, next episooooode!" imitates a line generally reserved for villains, not heroes, in Saturday morning cartoons.
  • When Reynold crashes into the wall, some of the wall falls on the inside. The direction he crashed would cause all of the wall pieces to fall outside.

[edit] Goofs

Let's go lose our arms!
  • In the File Photo of Blue Laser Commander, his arm patches are blue, not red like they normally are.
  • When it zooms to the combat equipment, Reinforcements's Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket is misspelled "Reinforcement's".
  • When Blue Laser leaves the shopping aisle to check out, the minion on the bottom-right hand corner is missing his arm.

[edit] Inside References

  • The line "Firebert, you stay here and think of a better commando name" is a reference to the email "army". In that email, Strong Bad tells The Cheat that Firebert is not a good commando name. In addition, the package for Firebert's action figure (seen in "army" and Cheat Commandos Commercial) notes that his is "Not a good commando name!"
  • The episode "Shopping For Danger" is written by A. Chimendez.
  • Fightgar asking for "Old Lady Rub" is a reference to Peasant's Quest, in which the innkeeper has a cabinet full of Old Man Rub.
  • The Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket makes the same sound as when Stinkoman does a Double Deuce, combined with the mechanical sound effect of Homestar's cap in the email "car".
  • The gun used to fire the grappling hook is taken from the Cheat Commandos Commercial.

[edit] Real-World References

  • Gunhaver's mention of Blue Laser buying a machine that would screw with the weather is an obvious reference to a G.I. Joe mini-series, The Revenge Of Cobra, in which G.I. Joe and Cobra battle over a machine, the Weather Dominator, which can be used to control the weather.
  • Blue Laser uses the Southern American English word "buggy" to refer to a shopping cart.
  • Reynold trying on the Justice Rocket Backpack may be a nod to Ghostbusters II, when geeky Louis Tully wished to be a Ghostbuster and put on the proton pack.
  • When Gunhaver shouts to the sky at the end of the cartoon, it may be a reference to the old Inspector Gadget cartoon in which the main villain Dr. Claw would always shout, "I'll get you next time, Gadget... next time..." at the end of each episode.
  • The "Blue Las-Alert" may be a reference to the "Trouble Alert" on Super Friends, which was sometimes compressed into one phrase ("Trouble-Alert" or "Troublealert"). The "BWEOOO!" sound comes from the first level of the Nintendo Entertainment System Game Contra, where Red Falcon's base raises an alarm as the player draws near.
  • Gunhaver has a Colt .45 1911 Automatic.
  • The paper towels that Blue Laser is shown buying greatly resemble the older version of the Bounty Paper Towels.
  • The "HAUSGOOD" store located next to Price Style is a reference to real-world home furnishings store HomeGoods.

[edit] Fast Forward

  • The Blue Las-alert klaxon would also be used by the King of Town's "Eat a Lot of Food Alarm" in winter pool.
  • The Cheat Commandos would play beach volleyball against Blue Laser in An Important Rap Song.
  • This toon currently has the longest page title on the website, despite Strongest Man in the World's claim to the contrary.
  • Reynold's complaint of being left behind on missions would reach sympathetic ears during 2 Part Episode: Part 1.

[edit] DVD Version

  • A glitch occurs at the end. When the danger music stops, 3 seconds of the Price Style Easter egg play.
  • The DVD version features creators' commentary. To access it, switch your DVD player's audio language selection while watching.

[edit] Commentary Transcript

(Commentary by: Matt Chapman, Mike Chapman, Peter Olsen, Ryan Sterritt)

MATT: Hey, we're joined here in the conversation-type booth with Peter Olsen from Y-O-U!

PETER: Hey.

MATT: ...who's collaborated with us on many occasions.

PETER: Collaborations.

MATT: That's right.

PETER: Many times.

MATT: He said that, uh, the Cheat Commandos were his favorite thing on the site, so he's joining us in the commentary for this one.

RYAN: Ooh, I love the, uh, picture in the background.

MATT: Yeah.

RYAN: Your fifth-grade school photo.

MATT: There's a...

RYAN: The lasers.

MATT: There's a picture of a couple of cousins of mine, when that was, when they were like babies, and that's the background, it's this "lasers" background.

{Peter and Ryan laugh}

RYAN: I have that from fifth grade. I had that actual background.

MATT: {Blue Las-alert in the background} Do you really? Nice.

{Silent Rip says "It's a Blue Las-alert!"}

MATT: {indicating the alert} That's really, like, me going "Waaah-ooh!"

MIKE: Hey, wait...

PETER: {simultaneously} That's a good sound effect.

MIKE: Who's this guy?

MATT: We already... we already did that.

PETER: I've already been introduced.

MIKE: Oh.

PETER: Welcome, Mike.

MIKE: Ryan, your girlfriend just called.

RYAN: Uh-oh. {pause} Am I in trouble?

MATT: So, Peter, we— do you remember this thing from the old GI Joe cartoons, where, like, just mysteriously, the good guys and bad guys just have hidden cameras all over the other person's base and world...

PETER: And they—

MATT: ...and, like—

PETER: —they know what each other is doing and they know they can't stop them...

MIKE: {laughs} Exac—

PETER: ...or infiltrate...

MIKE: Hang a black jacket over the camera that's—

MATT: {laughs} Right.

PETER: Yeah...

MATT: "Maybe, if we put this thing over GI Joe's hidden cameras in our base, they wouldn't know what we were up to anymore."

MIKE: You guys remember that laser, uh, backg-

MATT: {interrupting} We've already had that conversation.

MIKE: Really?

MATT: Yeah.

PETER: Yeah, you came late.

RYAN: {laughs}

{pause}

MATT: What do you think they sell at "Hausgood" {pronounces "House good"}, Peter?

PETER: {short pause} Good houses? {all laugh} German ones, obviously.

MATT: Maybe, maybe {Bovarian?}.

MIKE: I always envisioned that the shopping center being the one, uh, that the Wal-Mart in Dunwoody is in.

MATT: {chuckles} Oh yeah?

MIKE: Yep.

MATT: The one on Ashford, Dunwoody Road?

MIKE: Yep.

RYAN: I never noticed that's not a full tree.

MATT: {laughs} Yeah.

MIKE: It got hit by lightning.

{pause}

MATT: Which is your favorite Cheat Commando, Peter?

PETER: Uh, the guy that rhymes. And he re- he- is that like Roadblock?

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: Did Roadblock rhyme?

MATT: Yeah.

MIKE: Yeah.

MATT: Crackotage. {pause} You know, we- I got to meet the uh, uh, voice of Roadblock. He was in our friend Craig's movie.

PETER: Oh, serious?

MATT: Yeah. Kene, um—

MIKE: Kene Holliday.

MATT: Kene Holliday.

RYAN: Kenny G.

{laughter}

MATT: He was on Matlock, too.

PETER: Really?

MATT: Yeah.

{short pause}

PETER: "Wipe".

{all laugh}

MATT: That's a vile name for... {laughter} ... a paper towel roll.

MIKE: Yeah, 'cause you almost think those paper towels are not for the kitchen use.

{laughter}

MIKE: They're for desperate times.

{pause}

MIKE: I like the, uh, shopping, uh, grocery store Muzak version of the Cheat Commandos theme.

MATT: Like, in Raising Arizona, there was that graveyard thing—

MIKE: Oh yeah.

MATT: —where they're being chased by the people {unintelligible due to different voices talking at the same time}

MIKE: ...music turns into the... {unintelligible}

MATT: {imitates theme}

{pause}

MATT: Did you, uh, collect G.I. Joe as a kid, Peter?

PETER: I did. I had many G.I. Joes, and, I'm— one thing that I really got into was unscrewing them...

MIKE: Right...

RYAN: Oh yeah.

PETER: ...and, uh, changing the body parts...

MIKE: Mixing and matching?

MATT: Yeah.

PETER: Yeah, I also, uh, liked to put firecrack- you can stretch the rubber band, and a Black Cat fits perfect right in there, and it just— {makes mini-explosion sound}

{short pause}

MIKE: Look at how cross-eyed Reynold is.

{all laugh}

MATT: He's got some bad vision. I like that, somehow, Gunhaver's jacket is bigger for him, even though all the Cheat Commandos are exactly the same size.

MIKE: {laughs} Right. {pause, muffled} His hat's bigger too, isn't it?

MATT: This is not a very busy, uh, grocery store, you guys. {laughs}

PETER: I always love the one that— flew in the back, when he pops up right here.

{laughter}

MIKE: I never noticed that.

PETER: It's a good stealth...

MATT: It's Silent Rip! He's gotta be stealthy.

PETER: And he never comes to the action.

MATT: No.

MIKE: {indicating the twins} That's me, that's me, guys.

PETER: Oh.

MIKE: That was Mike that just said that, that that was me.

{all laugh}

MATT: Oh. What were you referring to—

PETER: You're always— you're always taking the spotlight.

MIKE: Yeah, well...

{pause}

MATT: Here's your favorite guy! {indicating Crackotage, pause} He rhymed, Peter!

PETER: {laughs} That was hilarious.

{laughter}

MATT: Who else— Blaster, I feel like Blaster on the Transformers who's the good, Ghetto Blaster, Sound Wave was the bad one, and Blaster was the good one... {trails off}

PETER: Oh, yeah.

MATT: I feel like he also... rhymed.

MIKE: I think that we changed that after the cartoon was up for 10 minutes...

MATT: Yeah, we added "nice jacket."

MIKE: Yeah, it's like {imitating Gunhaver} "Reynold! Whoa! Nice jacket!" Originally that wasn't there, but we thought of it right after... I think as we were watching it, Matt thought that line and went "Grah!" so we went ahead and added it.

MATT: {imitating the "Buy All Our Playsets..." theme} Dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot!

PETER: That was awesome.

MIKE AND MATT: Thanks.

{pause}

MIKE: {various people talking over each other} Oh, hey, it's not over yet! Keep talking!

MATT: Yeah, say a few more things.

PETER: Um, we're probably gonna learn something here. {laughter} This looks like the portion of the 'toon where {pause} there's some value...

MIKE: Ah...

MATT: We learned that mildew is something you should take care of.

PETER: That's right.

MIKE: That's it.

[edit] Fun Facts

[edit] External Links

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