for kids

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Revision as of 18:08, 26 August 2004

Screenshot

Summary

StrongBadEmail #110

Allison wonders what a Strong Bad television series would be like.

Features: Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homsar

Transcript

{We see Strong Bad at the Compy 386 playing Peasant's Quest. He is in the area with Kerrek.}

STRONG BAD: Uh, let's see here... {typing} Make friends with Kerrek. {A message pops up. It reads "The Kerrek says he has enough friends already. And he doesn't like your short, short pants."}

STRONG BAD: What the... (presses enter} Um... {typing} Buy Kerrek a cold one. {Kerrek smashes him on the head. There is another message. It reads "The Kerrek is a Teetotaller and is offended by your offer. He pounds your head into the ground. You dead."}

STRONG BAD: What? Oh man... Stupid game! {types "quit". a message says "You quitter."} I guess I should do the thing that I do. {pulls up the a> sign and types "strongbad_email.exe"} {Reading}

Coolest guy ever - - - Strong Bad,
I've been wondering if you ever
thought of making your own television
series? Kids everywhere would love
you, and your awesomeness.

Allison , NJ

{instead of saying "- - -", he mumbles some incoherent word (possibly "henna") three times. After reading his own name, he stops reading and says, "Whoa! Three hennas! Must be an important one!" Then he continues reading. After the comma, he says "unnecessary comma," and he pronounces "Allison" as "All is on"}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Television?!! Kids?!! Wait, do you people think I'm intended for children? Like, the littlest, tiniest babies? You know, that watch those shows on public television. I don't think I'm cut out for that type of sugarjob.

{Cut to a piece of yellow paper used for teaching Kindergartners writing. A bazooka gun, a monster with horns, a bunny with fangs, and a creature that resembles a man sticking its tongue out are drawn in crayon around him.}

STRONG BAD: Okay, kids, we're gonna play where's The Cheat. Can you say, "a-The Cheat"?

KIDS: {half incoherent} The Cheat. {one child mumbles} Christopher Columbus.

STRONG BAD: Not good enough. F minus minus. {"F--" appears on the screen. A buzz sound is heard. Cut back to Strong Bad. Behind him are a tree and an open box. A toilet is in front of him.} All right, dumb children. {rubs his hands together} Find The Cheat! {The Cheat comes out from behind the box.}

KIDS: {say things like "There he is," or "Right there." They continue saying this.}

STRONG BAD: Um, no, he's behind the box. {Turns around and points to The Cheat} No, uh, he's not even behind the box, he's barely obscured by the box. {turns around} Look, The Cheat is behind the freaking box!! {Kids stop talking and the music soundtrack screeches to a halt. Strong Bad comes closer to the viewer.} He's behind the box! I'll kill you!! I'll kill all your dogs!! {Cut back to Strong Bad at the Compy 386}

STRONG BAD: So, you can see how that might be less than pleasant. What with all the letter writing and the angry mothers and the subsequent stringing me up in town square for all to see. But you know who's a natural for that sorta thing? None other than America's favorite blue midget Homestar: Homsar!!

{Cut to an all-white scene. Homsar comes through a faraway door. He walks closer to the viewer and stops.}

KIDS: What do you know, Haddi-man?

MAN: {As the words are sung, they are shown at the bottom of the wiewer's screen. Homsar rides by in a boat with a flag. The background is green with flowers. His shirt says "if you lived here you'd be home"} We'll have an adventure, and several long trips. We'll make some new friends {Children come out of nowhere behind Homsar} and maybe get a bite to eat!! {An orange with "abc" on it appears behind Homsar. A lot of Homsars now appear and disappear.} All 'cause we say, {A red Homsar with a flag appears. White liquid spills onto the screen. A logo that says "Whaddaya know, Haddi-man? with a Homsar on it appears.}

KIDS: What do you know, Haddi-man?

HOMSAR: DaAaAaA! I'm a trendy totebag!

{Cut to a tan scene. Homsar disappears and reappears in random places and makes sounds. When he stops, "g" appears in front of him.}

KIDS: A "G"!

HOMSAR: I'm not gonna lie to you, that's a healthy piece of real estate!

KIDS: A "G"!

{Cut to a purple place with a person playing a guitar on a chair wearing sandals. As the words are sung, they appear on the screen.}

MAN: Stave it off, 1-2-3, and now you can count to three.

HOMSAR: That's a real popular song! Who wants to hear of it fifty times more?

KIDS: {shouts of approval}

{Cut to a purple place. Now we see two of the guitar playing people, one superimposed over the other. Again, as the words are sung, they appear on the screen.}

MAN: Stave it off, 1-2-3, and now you can count to three.

{One of the guitarists is suddenly upside-down. The song repeats.}

MAN: Stave it off, 1-2-3, and now you can count to three.

{Cut back to the Compy.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Good gravy. I've got two words for the children that are raised on that crap: HELD BACK. REPEATING THE THIRD GRADE. LOW STANDARDIZED TEST SCORES. I GUESS THIS WAS MORE THAN TWO WORDS. THE PAPER, PLEASE TAKE US HOME.

{The paper comes down}

Easter Eggs

• At the end, click on the words "good gravy" to see the KOT's new food product.
• Also at the end click "crap" to see a CD.

Fun Facts

• Strong Bad was playing Peasant's Quest and was doing poorly.
  • The things he was trying to accomplish in the game, in the way of making friends with Kerrek, do not actually produce those results. Except perhaps the being-pummeled if you stand there long enough part. The game says "I don't understand, type HELP for assistances". It is also impossible to obtain a negative score like that, to my knowledge.. unless you are maybe playing hall runner.
    • Edit: As of 8/10/04, "make friends with kerrek" and "buy kerrek a cold one" now work in Peasant's Quest... the effects are not exactly the same as those Strong Bad gets in the email, nor do they take away points.
  • Also, the message Strong Bad gets for typing in "quit" is different from the one you get in the real deal. Try it.
• The fake show hosted by Strong Bad is a spoof of Blue's Clues, where the host asks things and unseen children shout the answers.
  • Other children's shows do that i.e. Dora the Explorer.
  • The crayon graphics in SB's show are more like Elmo's world than Blue's Clues.
  • One of the crayon graphics (below the box) is a toilet.. and I am pretty sure this is the first toilet to ever make an appearance on HSR.
    • actually in kids book click on "book" to see SB's version, then on the last one he made the trophey into a toilet.
      • SB refers to the toilet as a commode in that easter egg...maybe thats what the writer meant.
        • A commode is a toilet, among other things ;p.
  • Another of the crayon graphics, on the lower-right in the first screen, looks a lot like Dijjery-Doo.
• One of the children says "Christopher Columbus!" when Strong Bad asks them to say The Cheat.
• Strong Bad threatening his audience may or may not be a reference to the film Death to Smoochy.
  • Could just as easily be a reference to Krusty the Clown from The Simpsons... or the largely untrue rumors about Soupy Sales.
• The part with Homsar is probably reference to Sesame Street.
  • Homsar is actually quite a smart fellow, and his reference to being a tote bag refers to the PBS tote bag, the TV network that shows Sesame Street.
  • Homsar's comments about the 'Stave it Off' song are unusually relevant for his lines, as well.
• The "fifty times more!" is most likely from Teletubbies. {Dora the Explorer also likes to repeat things an excruciating amount of times. Who here knows the "I'm the map!" song? (Hint: Must have toddler to understand)
• When Homsar talks after the G shows up (complete with various head movements and hat flyings, as per usual), his shadow says still. Completely still. Not a single movement. His hat even stays on in the shadow when in reality it's hovering in mid-air.
• The Party Mix CD easter egg is a parody of the various crappy "Kidz Bopz!" and other 'kid-safe' albums.
  • The spine of the CD reads "Songs we found on the street"
    • Also, "All is on" is a reference to the poster, Allison. When Strong Bad reads her name at the beginning he pronounces it "All is on"
• "The Paper please take us home" is probably a reference to Guns n' Roses' song, "Paradise City". Guns n' Roses was also recently referenced in Peasant's Quest.
• When Strong Bad says 'sugarjob', he is most likely referring to sugarbob.
• The drawing in top right corner of Strong Bad's show is the gelatnous monster from kids' book.
• "Stave it off" means beat it with a stick until it's gone.
• Strong Bad's game of 'Where's The Cheat?' with the children is likely a reference to the cartoon Where's the Cheat?
• The noise Homsar makes when he teleports around is a reference to the PBS show Boobah
• This is the first time SB ever really threatens to kill anyone.
• This e-mail has Homsar as a fairly important character. The last e-mail to share this trait was interview, which introduced Kerrek. This e-mail begins with Strong Bad's attempts to foil the Kerrek's plans. Coincidence?
• The positions of the crayon graphics in the first scene (the one with the bazooka, Dijery-Doo, Gelatinous monster, and sick-looking guy) are all rearranged when the scene zooms in on SB's face.
• The CD in the easter egg is titled "Songs We Found On The Street".

External Links

• watch "for kids"
• watch "for kids" in fullscreen
• forum thread re: "for kids"