Subtitles:sbemail176/en

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Revision as of 20:00, 27 August 2007

HRWiki Subtitles Project

These are the English subtitles for hygiene. watch this toon To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome. It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail176.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="16" end="49" speaker="strongbad">Step one! You check an email down.</line>
<line start="50" end="89" speaker="strongbad">Step two! You tell some kid he's a dork!</line>
<line start="90" end="144" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strongbad, In fifth grade I have to watch a lame hygiene movie.</line>
<line start="145" end="199" speaker="strongbad">"I was thinking you could make a better movie about hygiene than the cruddy school version.</line>
<line start="200" end="249" speaker="strongbad">"Your friend, John Katu-lalalalalalala."</line>
<line start="250" end="316" speaker="strongbad">Fifth grade boys?!  Man, what happened to the hot college girls that used to email me?</line>
<line start="317" end="361" speaker="strongbad">You ladies drop you be-pantied pillowfighting and drop me a line!</line>
<line start="362" end="414" speaker="strongbad">Yeah, I suppose I could make a cruddy hygiene movie for you John.</line>
<line start="415" end="495" speaker="strongbad">But wouldn't it be so much more satisfying to make a cruddy hygiene movie <i>about</i> you?</line>
<line start="496" end="606" speaker="sfx">music</line>
<line start="607" end="628" speaker="strongbad">Meet John.</line>
<line start="629" end="659" speaker="strongbad">John is a cruddy fifth grader.</line>
<line start="660" end="677" speaker="strongbad">Hi John.</line>
<line start="678" end="710" speaker="homestar">I'm a latchkey champion.</line>
<line start="711" end="792" speaker="strongbad">Meet Gene.  Gene is a beacon of light, shining through the stink-cloud generated by John.</line>
<line start="793" end="812" speaker="strongbad">Hi Gene!</line>
<line start="813" end="833" speaker="strongbad">TGIG, y'all!</line>
<line start="834" end="859" speaker="strongbad">TGIG, y'all!<br>Thank God I'm Gene!</line>
<line start="864" end="877" speaker="strongbad">Gene is popular, <span style="visibility:hidden">and doesn't get good grades.</span></line>
<line start="878" end="905" speaker="strongbad">Gene is popular, and doesn't get good grades.</line>
<line start="910" end="944" speaker="strongbad">John has no friends and sits in the front row.</line>
<line start="952" end="980" speaker="strongbad">What is John missing that Gene has,</line>
<line start="981" end="1000" speaker="strongbad">What is John missing that Gene has,<br>besides rich parents?</line>
<line start="1002" end="1027" speaker="strongbad">That's right, hygiene!</line>
<line start="1028" end="1046" speaker="strongbad">Hi, gals.</line>
<line start="1047" end="1108" speaker="strongbad">"Hygiene" is defined as "how close people are willing to stand next to you".</line>
<line start="1111" end="1143" speaker="strongbad">John has shabby clothes that smell like</line>
<line start="1144" end="1167" speaker="strongbad">chocolate milk with a stomach virus.</line>
<line start="1170" end="1187" speaker="homestar"><i>(blows nose)</i></line>
<line start="1191" end="1194" sfx="sfx">splat</line>
<line start="1196" end="1224" speaker="strongbad">Gene's mom buys all his clothes, <span style="visibility:hidden">but she's young and hot enough for that to be okay.</span></line>
<line start="1225" end="1264" speaker="strongbad">Gene's mom buys all his clothes, but she's young and hot enough for that to be okay.</line>
<line start="1265" end="1295" speaker="other">Mommy's got a grown-up headache, Genie!</line>
<line start="1297" end="1325" speaker="other">Why don't you take the boat out for a while?</line>
<line start="1329" end="1369" speaker="strongbad">Every morning, John wakes up and forgets to wash his <span style="visibility:hidden">STUPID, DUMB, STINKING, FAT, SMELLY, STUPID, DU-</span></line>
<line start="1370" end="1381" speaker="strongbad">Every morning, John wakes up and forgets to wash his STUPID, <span style="visibility:hidden">DUMB, STINKING, FAT, SMELLY, STUPID, DU-</span></line>
<line start="1382" end="1387" speaker="strongbad">Every morning, John wakes up and forgets to wash his STUPID, DUMB, <span style="visibility:hidden">STINKING, FAT, SMELLY, STUPID, DU-</span></line>
<line start="1388" end="1395" speaker="strongbad">Every morning, John wakes up and forgets to wash his STUPID, DUMB, STINKING, <span style="visibility:hidden">FAT, SMELLY, STUPID, DU-</span></line>
<line start="1396" end="1403" speaker="strongbad">Every morning, John wakes up and forgets to wash his STUPID, DUMB, STINKING, FAT, <span style="visibility:hidden">SMELLY, STUPID, DU-</span></line>
<line start="1404" end="1412" speaker="strongbad">Every morning, John wakes up and forgets to wash his STUPID, DUMB, STINKING, FAT, SMELLY, <span style="visibility:hidden">STUPID, DU-</span></line>
<line start="1413" end="1419" speaker="strongbad">Every morning, John wakes up and forgets to wash his STUPID, DUMB, STINKING, FAT, SMELLY, STUPID, <span style="visibility:hidden">DU-</span></line>
<line start="1420" end="1422" speaker="strongbad">Every morning, John wakes up and forgets to wash his STUPID, DUMB, STINKING, FAT, SMELLY, STUPID, DU-</line>
<line start="1423" end="1458" speaker="strongbad">Every morning, the radiant energy from Gene's face...</line>
<line start="1459" end="1486" speaker="strongbad">...powers this small light bulb.</line>
<line start="1489" end="1496" sfx="sfx">buzz</line>
<line start="1504" end="1536" speaker="strongbad">John's mouth is an ecological train wreck,</line>
<line start="1537" end="1588" speaker="strongbad">and has a nest of rare, South American moths living inside.</line>
<line start="1590" end="1597" sfx="sfx">burp</line>
<line start="1600" end="1639" speaker="homestar">Now, you be back before din-din, Chauncey.</line>
<line start="1642" end="1670" speaker="strongbad">Gene's mouth is a national park,</line>
<line start="1671" end="1727" speaker="strongbad">and his saliva is <i>sold</i> in South America as a wonder drug.</line>
<line start="1729" end="1763" speaker="strongbad">John leaves food out all over his room,</line>
<line start="1764" end="1800" speaker="strongbad">and a family of squatters has taken up residence in a <span style="visibility:hidden">nearby laundry cave.</span></line>
<line start="1801" end="1823" speaker="strongbad">and a family of squatters has taken up residence in a nearby laundry cave.</line>
<line start="1830" end="1873" speaker="strongbad"><i>Gene's</i> room has a sixteen-car pileup of race car beds,</line>
<line start="1874" end="1913" speaker="strongbad">and a family of ten maids and special effects artists</line>
<line start="1914" end="1949" speaker="strongbad">keep it realistically smoldering and burning!</line>
<line start="1957" end="1994" speaker="strongbad">Oh. They also live in a nearby cave.</line>
<line start="1995" end="2034" speaker="strongbad">What can John do to change his hygiene?</line>
<line start="2037" end="2052" speaker="strongbad">Nothing, at this point.</line>
<line start="2056" end="2083" speaker="strongbad">By fifth grade the damage is already done...</line>
<line start="2084" end="2128" speaker="strongbad">...and everyone will remember him as a smelly loser no matter what he does.</line>
<line start="2129" end="3233" speaker="other">Subtitles are incomplete for this cartoon.</line>
</transcript>