Hremail 2000

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Revision as of 05:12, 2 February 2009 (edit) Jay (Talk | contribs) (I'll cover this'un.) ← Older edit		Revision as of 05:29, 2 February 2009 (edit) (undo) Jay (Talk | contribs) (→Transcript: First part) Newer edit →
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	==Transcript==		==Transcript==
	{{transcriptinprogress|Jay}}		{{transcriptinprogress|Jay}}
		+	''{Homestar is in silhouette, sitting at his desk.}''
		+
		+	'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Give it the gas, people! It's the breakout album of the year, Homestar Runner!
		+
		+	''{Homestar Runner's Theme Song plays as the scene lights up.}''
		+
		+	'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Thanks, shadow self! We'll do battle later. Today's missive ''{produces a paper}'' comes from Josh Key in Corvallis, Oregon! ''{reads in a nervous high-pitched voice:}''
		+
		+	<blockquote class="email" style="background:#FFF;color:#000">
		+	Dear Homestar.<br/>
		+	<br/>
		+	How long should a person keep<br/>
		+	a pair of shoes? I have this one<br/>
		+	pair that has been around for<br/>
		+	years, but they're falling apart<br/>
		+	pretty badly now. My girlfriend<br/>
		+	thinks that I should get rid of<br/>
		+	them. So what should I do? Repair<br/>
		+	or replace?<br/>
		+	<br/>
		+	Urgently waiting for your advice,<br/>
		+	Josh
		+	</blockquote>
		+
		+	'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' Now you see those three little words?
		+
		+	''{He holds up the paper to the audience, and the camera zooms in on it.}''
		+
		+	'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' "My girlfriend thinks"?
		+
		+	''{As he says each word, the appropriate word is highlighted, with a different sound effect for each. Cut back to Homestar.}''
		+
		+	'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' That's your problem right there! ''{puts down the paper}'' I got one o' them, too. ''{Gets up and walks toward the Arturo.}'' The lad-ays just don't understand that it can take a man's shoes five to seven years to finally get that sought-after walkin'-around-with-someone-else's-slightly-larger-foot-pelts-on-your-feet feeling! Stuff like holes, duct tape, and rank odor are&mdash;
		+
		+	''{Zoom in on the Arturo. A picture of a man's head appears.}''
		+
		+	'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' ''{from offscreen}'' &mdash;just the shoe equivalent of graying hair&mdash;
		+
		+	''{The hair of the man in the picture grays a little.}''
		+
		+	'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' &mdash;buying a blue Neonta&mdash;
		+
		+	''{A convertible appears under the head; the head is big enough to fill the both of the front seats.}''
		+
		+	'''HOMESTAR RUNNER:''' &mdash; and dating your graduate assistant!
		+
		+	''{A woman appears beside the head, proportioned correctly for the car.}''

---

Revision as of 05:29, 2 February 2009

Transcript

{Homestar is in silhouette, sitting at his desk.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Give it the gas, people! It's the breakout album of the year, Homestar Runner!

{Homestar Runner's Theme Song plays as the scene lights up.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks, shadow self! We'll do battle later. Today's missive {produces a paper} comes from Josh Key in Corvallis, Oregon! {reads in a nervous high-pitched voice:}

Dear Homestar.

How long should a person keep
a pair of shoes? I have this one
pair that has been around for
years, but they're falling apart
pretty badly now. My girlfriend
thinks that I should get rid of
them. So what should I do? Repair
or replace?

Urgently waiting for your advice,
Josh

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Now you see those three little words?

{He holds up the paper to the audience, and the camera zooms in on it.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: "My girlfriend thinks"?

{As he says each word, the appropriate word is highlighted, with a different sound effect for each. Cut back to Homestar.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's your problem right there! {puts down the paper} I got one o' them, too. {Gets up and walks toward the Arturo.} The lad-ays just don't understand that it can take a man's shoes five to seven years to finally get that sought-after walkin'-around-with-someone-else's-slightly-larger-foot-pelts-on-your-feet feeling! Stuff like holes, duct tape, and rank odor are—

{Zoom in on the Arturo. A picture of a man's head appears.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {from offscreen} —just the shoe equivalent of graying hair—

{The hair of the man in the picture grays a little.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —buying a blue Neonta—

{A convertible appears under the head; the head is big enough to fill the both of the front seats.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: — and dating your graduate assistant!

{A woman appears beside the head, proportioned correctly for the car.}