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| | :::I'm pretty sure it was just a joke. The way Homestar Runner said "four" made it seem like it was done intentionally. - {{User:Joshua/sig}} 18:47, 30 January 2006 (UTC) | | :::I'm pretty sure it was just a joke. The way Homestar Runner said "four" made it seem like it was done intentionally. - {{User:Joshua/sig}} 18:47, 30 January 2006 (UTC) |
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| - | == Full transcript ==
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| - | I just did this whole transcript, but I didn't know how to put up a "work in progress" thinger and by the time I was finished someone else was already working on it. Feel free to use whatever parts of it may be needed, and delete this comment when the transcript is completed so it doesn't waste space. --[[User:Sokko|Sokko]] 18:36, 30 January 2006 (UTC)
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| - | ''{Strong Bad types "strongbad_email.exe" and presses enter}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' '' {singing}'' Don't you wanna email, don't you need a email, don't you turn your life around!
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| - |
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| - | <blockquote class="lappy email">
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| - | <div>subject: little help, please</div>
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| - | Dear Strong Bad;<br>
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| - | I'm a middle school technology teacher. I would really<br>
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| - | appreciate it if you could come up with an introduction I<br>
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| - | could use for my new classes. Thanks.<br>
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| - | Jay<br>
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| - | Oswego NY<br>
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| - | </blockquote>
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| - | ''{Strong Bad pronounces "Oswego" as if saying "Off we go!" and follows it up with "...to New York"}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' You would ''really appreciate'' it? That's it? Man, back in the olden days, I could get upwards of 3 chickens, a sack of barley, and a half-dead goat all for doing one of my technology intromercials. ''{clears the screen}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' Well, I sure hope JCPenney's accepts really appreciate it's, 'cause I know for a fact they stopped taking I'll be your best friend's a while ago. Either way, middle school kids are all idiots and they need as much of my help and guidance as they can get. ''{stands up and heads offscreen}''
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| - | ''{Cut to a nondescript classroom-like setting. Strong Bad is standing at the front of the room with a white lab coat on, in front of a large blackboard on which is written "I'M USING TECHNOLOGY". A small poster reading "computers don't BYTE" is on the wall to the right.}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{speaking in a monotone and moving his arms jerkily}'' One... zero zero... one one... zero... one... one zero... one one zero... zero one. ''{speaking normally}'' You may not have understood me, but I was speaking technology!
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| - |
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| - | ''{cut to a close-up of Strong Bad's face, now at an angle to the wall}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' The word "technology" means "magic". It's basically anything really cool that you don't know how it works. And if it breaks, you have to buy a new one. Why, I've got some technology beneath my pants right now! Hwee-ah!
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| - |
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| - | ''{cut back to the previous angle as Strong Bad deftly flips a 5.25-inch floppy disk out from under his lab coat and catches it, displaying the labeled side to the camera}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' This is a diskette. Diskettes were invented by computers to help us. Like how cows invented milk. ''{the text on the blackboard inexplicably fades out and is replaced with a chalk drawing of a cow}''
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| - |
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| - | ''{the view zooms in on Strong Bad, this time staying at a right angle to the wall}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' The two warring factions of diskettes are floppy disks ''{he shakes the disk in his hand, making it wobble}'' and hard disks ''{he produces a 3.5-inch floppy disk in his other hand, then puts it away as he continues}''. I prefer these big ones because they hold more memory, although you have to fold them up to fit them into these new computers. ''{he proceeds to fold the disk several times, then drops it and continues his speech}'' Another thing you'll need is your very own e-mail address.
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| - | ''{the view changes to that of an orange monochrome computer monitor displaying an envelope with the word "email" on it}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' Just take your favorite hobby ''{text on the screen flips through several activities before settling on "swimteam"}'', add "kid", "grrl", "pie", or "izzle" ''{the text flips through these alternatives and settles on "pie"}'', and then put a bunch of numbers at the end! ''{"33331" is typed onto the end and the domain is added, making the full address "swimteampie33331@kindergartencop.edu"}''
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| - |
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| - | ''{cut back to the classroom, where the blackboard has been changed again to a crude depiction of a giant robot about to step on a city, with the words "gank gank!" written above it}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{speaking in a monotone with jerky movements again}'' Robots are technology shaped like square people. ''{returns to normal}'' They're primarily used for destroying Japan and serving hors d'œuvres.
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| - | ''{The Cheat walks up to Strong Bad with a plate of hors d'œuvres, making robotic noises and encased in what appears to be an upside-down metal pail with bolts drawn on it in black marker and light bulbs sticking out of holes cut in the sides}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' Ah, The Cheat-Bot! I would love a stuffed grape leaf! ''{he grabs one and eats it}''
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| - |
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| - | ''{cut to The Field, where the lab-coat'd Strong Bad and "The Cheat-Bot" are standing next to Pom-Pom, who is talking to someone on his PDA}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' Originally, tellular cellephones ''{indicating Pom-Pom's PDA}'' were for sending misspelled messages to your friends, telling them where you are in the food court.
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| - | '''POM-POM:''' ''{makes a few bubbling noises directed at Strong Bad, then resumes his conversation}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' Pom-Pom just bought movie tickets with his cell phone!
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| - | '''POM-POM:''' ''{looks annoyed and makes more bubbling noises}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' Oh, he just watched a movie ''on'' his cell phone!
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| - | '''POM-POM:''' ''{looks angry at Strong Bad, makes more bubbling noises}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' Oh oh ''oh''! Pom-Pom just wrote, directed, produced, and ''distributed'' a movie with his cell phone!
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| - | '''POM-POM:''' ''{answers an incoming call and makes a few more bubbling noises}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' ...and he just got into Sundance! High-five, brother!
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| - |
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| - | ''{Pom-Pom absorbs his PDA into his body, produces a pair of sunglasses and a water bottle, and bounces off}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{holding out for the high-five a bit longer}'' Uh, cool, right. I'll, uh... see you later. ''{waits a bit, then turns to The Cheat}'' What are you still doing here, The Cheat-Bot?
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| - |
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| - | ''{cut back to the classroom, where the blackboard now reads "THE FUTURE??" in large letters}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' The future of technology, or at least what people won't shut up about, is wireless. You know, things like ''{the view zooms in on the blackboard, which displays drawings of each of the items Strong Bad mentions}'' walkmans, flashlights, and solar calculators. ''{he pops up in front of the blackboard and holds up a "Cakkalater" brand calculator which has the digits "53045 3080" typed in}'' Look, I can make mine say "oboe shoes"! ''{he turns the calculator upside-down so that the digits resemble the words "OBOE SHOES"}''
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| - |
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| - | ''{cut back to the Lappy, as Strong Bad sits back down}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{typing}'' And then there's the Lappy, which rules over technology with a 42 pound, allegedly portable fist. Watch as it magically saves this screen.
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| - | ''{Strong Bad types "screen_savior.exe" on a new line, bringing up a screen saver that resembles a primitive 3D maze. The words "Strong Bad gots the style" are written on the wall at every turn.}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' The screen is saved, man. This thing's gonna last like 50 years! Alright, awkward children, I'm all done kickin' my tech-knowledge. Now leave me alone! Got to find my way out of these catacombs...
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| - |
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| - | ''{The Paper comes down}''
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{mumbling to himself}'' Left... left... no, right... no, left... right... just keep goin'... Strong Bad... style...
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{after some time}'' Where are you taking me, Lappy?
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| - | '''STRONG BAD:''' ''{after another delay}'' Man... I throwed up all over this maze. ''{referring to the green color of the maze's floors}''
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| | == The Amber Screen == | | == The Amber Screen == |
The screen in whihc Strong Bad describes how to select an email address is coloured Amber. this is a reference to a tiem in the mid 80's when Amber replaced green as the principle colour for monochrome screens. It was supposed to reduce eye strain or something.
--"Creepy Pants man"
I R F 
KieferSkunk (talk) — 16:21, 30 January 2006 (UTC)
