Hremail 62
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| Toon Category: Short |
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Homestar tells Chuck from Rochester all about the Homestar Runner "Bachieve to Alieve" foundation.
Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Strong Sad, Marzipan, Bubs
Places: The Desk, Homestar Runner's Bedroom, Bubs' Concession Stand
Date: Monday, January 26, 2009
Running Time: 3:06
Page title: Arturo 9000!
Contents |
Transcript
{Opens to a silhouette of Homestar Runner sitting at a table with a coffee mug}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Don't look now kids, it's everyone's favorite knock-kneed weightlifter, Homestar Runner!
{Music and applause; scene zooms out and is lit.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks silhouette! Today's letter comes from Chuck from Rochester. {reads}
Hello, Homestar
Can you tell me if there is
some kind of Homestar
Runner Center or Homestar
Runner International Center
for Cultural Advancement or
something like that that I
could bring my students to
for a field trip?
Chuck, Rochester
{Homestar begins reading in a deep voice which gradually turns back into his normal voice as he continues. He says "Advancement" in a faux French accent, and doesn't read the signature.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh yes, most definitely, Doctor! {Cut to a black and white photo of a brick building} Established in 1994, the Homestar Runner "Bachieve to Alieve" foundition, commonly known as, {Scene zooms out to reveal the scene in a picture on an orange dresser} this drawer, {fanfare} this drawer, {fanfare} this drawer! Would make an excellent field, road, or head trip for you and your studentia. Is that the plural of student, studentia? Anyway, lets see what the foundache has to offer!
{Homestar opens drawer and reveals a dank inside with a half brown, half yellow crayon}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh! Smell all that culture and education! First up on our tour, is this brellow crown! {Holds up the crayon} and what a rich history it has! It dates all the way back to this one time. Arturo, if you please!
{Cut to a microfiche reader sitting on the desk}
ARTURO: Coming right up, Mr. Runner! {Scene of Homestar walking to Bubs' Concession Stand comes on screen, zooms in to video}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, I sure love my brown crown!
{Cut to Strong Sad walking the other way, holding a yellow crayon}
STRONG SAD: Oh yellow crayon, only you know what really happened!
{Cut to Bubs at the concession stand holding a wrench}
BUBS: Dangit, purple wrench!
{Concession stand moves up and down}
STRONG SAD: Oh!
BUBS: Alright young lovers! Knock it off back there!
{Cut back to Homestar at the drawer}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: My brellow crown is instrumental in the drawing of buttered toast, {Holds up a picture with a drawing of toast on it}, not quite hornets, {Holds up a picture of a brown and yellow "zornet"}, and the sun, with a 'fro. {Holds up a picture of the sun with a brown afro} Next item up for tour, is my collection of old homestars! {cut back to drawer} They provide a unique cross section of my many facets! {holds up a star-shaped cotton ball} Roundy here, is from back when I was known as the popcorn lumper! {holds a glittery golden star} This one's from my brief stint as supreme emperor! Of... Marzipan's... rhinestone jazzler. {holds up a crusty paper star} And you won't believe why I had to replace this old guy! Talk about cultural! That mess was like, four score!
{Cut to Homestar from the colonial days, with a powdered wig and writing on a desk with a quill pen. He's wearing the tattered paper star, which is still just as tattered as in the previous scene, but lacking the stain.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: And with that, I am done tickling my face! {Pulls out a sloppy joe burger} Mhm! Sloppy Joseph! {takes a bit out of it, some spills on his star} Aw, crap!
{Cut back to Homestar Runner at the drawer}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Last up on the tour, is this photo of Marzipan and I, on a honeymoon! {Pulls out a photo of Homestar and Marzipan on a beach, with a coupon for an oil filter taped above Marzipan} Not ours! I think it was some couple from Canadas! Or, Cancun... nada. Ah, we were young and in every 3,000 miles back then!
{Cut back to Homestar's desk, Homestar walks and sits down}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: So bring the kids all down, Chuck! Nothing like a little educache at the foundache! It's the best I could do on short notice. Unless you want to wait until 2012, When Homestar Dinoland will finally be complete!
{Cut to a postcard from Homestar Dinoland}
NARRATOR: Homestar Dinoland opening July 2012. Actual attraction may just be a nightstand.
HOMESTAR RUNNER DINOSAUR: A whaaaaaaat?
NARRATOR: {Hastily} I-I mean a drawer.
HOMESTAR RUNNER NARRATOR: A whaat?
NARRATOR: I mean, a dwaw.
HOMESTAR RUNNER DINOSAUR: {Angrily} A WHAT?
NARRATOR: {Exasperated} Huhhh... a dweeoooowwwww.
HOMESTAR RUNNER DINOSAUR: That's better!
Easter Eggs
- Click on the golden rhinestone star to see the product he used to make it: the Scarfgirl Rhinestone Jazzler.
Fun Facts
Remarks
- In the honeymoon picture, Homestar's eyes blink.
Inside References
- The concept of Homestar answering e-mails was explored in email thunder.
- Homestar called crayons "crowns" in coloring.
- Scarfgirl was a magazine previously seen in secret identity.
Real-World References
- The "Jazzler" is based on the Bedazzler, which has a similar function. Like the Jazzler, it also resembles a stapler.
- The origin of the brellow crown is a reference to the "You got your chocolate in my peanut butter!" commercials for Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
