From Homestar Runner Wiki
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en" width="550" height="400">
<line start="23" end="48" speaker="bubs">...and 16 cents is your change.</line>
<line start="53" end="68" speaker="homestar">Whoa! Free money!</line>
<line start="73" end="103" speaker="bubs">So, what are you gettin' into tonight, Homestar?</line>
<line start="109" end="176" speaker="homestar">I dunno. Marzipan and those are gonna try to summon the spirit of her dead ficus plant,</line>
<line start="181" end="226" speaker="homestar">but that sounds dumb and boring, so I'll probably just end up trick-or-treatin'.</line>
<line start="229" end="255" speaker="bubs">What about Strong Bad? What's he doin'?</line>
<line start="260" end="290" speaker="homestar">I dunno. You can never tell with that guy.</line>
<line start="304" end="358" speaker="strongbad">Ok, Bubs. I'll have 90 rolls of toilet paper and 60 dozen eggs.</line>
<line start="370" end="380" speaker="strongbad">And a corn dog.</line>
<line start="384" end="419" speaker="bubs">I got it all packed up for you in the wagon round back.</line>
<line start="427" end="438" speaker="strongbad">Thanks, pally.</line>
<line start="454" end="473" speaker="homestar">What is he up to?</line>
<line start="642" end="679" speaker="marzipan">Now Strong Sad, I need to make contact with Credenza.</line>
<line start="683" end="745" speaker="marzipan">Homestar watered him with Yoo-Hoo while I was in Miami and he died and now I really miss him.</line>
<line start="748" end="785" speaker="strongsad">Ok. I'll need a photograph of the deceased,</line>
<line start="792" end="810" speaker="strongsad">And two box Oreos.</line>
<line start="815" end="843" speaker="strongbad">Oh, this is gonna be so great you guys.</line>
<line start="848" end="891" speaker="strongbad">Everybody's houses and pumpkins and trees won't know what hit 'em!</line>
<line start="901" end="913" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.8">This is gonna be great!</line>
<line start="914" end="928" speaker="kingoftown">Hey, guys. What's up?</line>
<line start="931" end="988" speaker="kingoftown">What are we doing here, Making omelettes? Going to the bathroom? I'm cool with that.</line>
<line start="991" end="1005" speaker="strongbad">Get out of here, old man!</line>
<line start="1009" end="1054" speaker="strongbad">We're gonna be pelting people like you and houses like your castle with these eggs.</line>
<line start="1057" end="1074" speaker="kingoftown">C'mon! Let me hang out!</line>
<line start="1075" end="1093" speaker="strongbad">No way! Forget it!</line>
<line start="1100" end="1139" speaker="strongbad">C'mon, loose dudes. Let's go hit Marzipan's gaze-bo.</line>
<line start="1143" end="1168" speaker="kingoftown">I'm dressed to Hamburgle...</line>
<line start="1175" end="1191" speaker="kingoftown">Robble! Robble!</line>
<line start="1198" end="1253" speaker="homestar">I bet I get ... a million pounds of candy this year. A million pounds!</line>
<line start="1256" end="1292" speaker="bubs">Whatever. I'm goin' for quality over quantity.</line>
<line start="1295" end="1352" speaker="coachz">Same here, Bubsy. I'm holdin' out for cookies with gold-plated chocolate chorps!</line>
<line start="1359" end="1367" speaker="sfx">sigh</line>
<line start="1370" end="1398" speaker="homestar">We'll see about that. C'mon, Pom Pom.</line>
<line start="1404" end="1449" speaker="homestar">Let's go find some houses giving away lead candy!</line>
<line start="1466" end="1473" speaker="strongbad">Let 'er rip!</line>
<line start="1506" end="1575" speaker="strongbad">Yes! All will tremble at the crack of our eggs and the hush of our two-ply toilet papers.</line>
<line start="1576" end="1611" speaker="kingoftown">I know how to use toilet paper. Let me try.</line>
<line start="1615" end="1675" speaker="strongbad">Listen... ahem... "Your Highness". We're about to egg the everloving crap out of your castle.</line>
<line start="1680" end="1705" speaker="strongbad">And it just won't be any fun if you're standing there!</line>
<line start="1711" end="1747" speaker="kingoftown">Yeah it will! On account of I'm totally cool!</line>
<line start="1750" end="1755" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.8">No, you're not.</line>
<line start="1758" end="1809" speaker="strongbad">But we're prepared to give you a dozen of these eggs and let you wash it down with a roll of toilet paper</line>
<line start="1813" end="1851" speaker="strongbad">in exchange for you leaving us alone for the rest of eternity.</line>
<line start="1852" end="1866" speaker="kingoftown">It's a deal!</line>
<line start="1873" end="1884" speaker="strongbad">That's what I thought.</line>
<line start="1911" end="1961" speaker="bubs">What the...? Oh, I remember this house from a couple of years ago.</line>
<line start="1966" end="1979" speaker="coachz">Trick or Trort!</line>
<line start="1986" end="2001" speaker="bubs">C'mon, man.</line>
<line start="2007" end="2021" speaker="coachz">Ok. Trick or Treat.</line>
<line start="2038" end="2064" speaker="coachz">Oh, the Swordish Forsh!</line>
<line start="2066" end="2081" speaker="bubs">What did I just tell you?</line>
<line start="2086" end="2115" speaker="coachz">Cut me some slack. It's a crowd-pleaser.</line>
<line start="2137" end="2192" speaker="coachz">What is that? One of them old school candies? I got some old school for ya's.</line>
<line start="2200" end="2257" speaker="coachz">This year Halloween falls on a weekend.
Me and ghetto boys are trick-or-treatin'.</line>
<line start="2266" end="2294" speaker="coachz">Robbin' little kids for bags.</line>
<line start="2304" end="2344" speaker="bubs">Uh... he doesn't really mean we've been out robbin' little kids.</line>
<line start="2349" end="2352" speaker="bubs">No, wait!</line>
<line start="2382" end="2405" speaker="bubs">Aw, Zagnut!</line>
<line start="2408" end="2439" speaker="coachz">Yeah. Aw, Zagnut!</line>
<line start="2443" end="2475" speaker="bubs">Nono... Aw, Zagnut!</line>
<line start="2478" end="2509" speaker="coachz">Right, right. Aw, Zagnut!</line>
<line start="2513" end="2529"><bubs>Awwww....</bubs><coachz>Awwww....</coachz></line>
<line start="2599" end="2643" speaker="stinkoman">Check out my new cosplay! I'm a demon on wheels!</line>
<line start="2658" end="2697" speaker="stinkoman">I love prawns. Simple as that!</line>
<line start="2728" end="2762" speaker="stinkoman">I can't eat that kind of bar because I'm in training.</line>
<line start="2769" end="2808" speaker="stinkoman">Don't you have any other kinds of bars? You know...</line>
<line start="2813" end="2863" speaker="stinkoman">energy bars... or power bars... or training bars?</line>
<line start="2897" end="2945" speaker="stinkoman">Eh. Ew. Aah! Nnn! Eh! Ew! Ahhhhh!</line>
<line start="2956" end="2968" speaker="stinkoman">That tickles.</line>
<line start="2998" end="3026" speaker="homestar">Wow, Pom Pom. Did you know that lady?</line>
<line start="3032" end="3052" speaker="homestar">Why'd she give you a hundred bucks?</line>
<line start="3060" end="3097" speaker="homestar">Alls I got was a dang old Bit o' Honey.</line>
<line start="3133" end="3159" speaker="homestar">Ok, Pom Pom. You knock this time.</line>
<line start="3193" end="3214" speaker="homestar">Fine. I'll ring the doorbell.</line>
<line start="3218" end="3265" speaker="homestar">Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! The Poopsmith! Trick or treat!</line>
<line start="3289" end="3302" speaker="pompom">(bubbles)</line>
<line start="3305" end="3354" speaker="homestar">Suit yourself. More for me. Lay it on me, Poop-Stick!</line>
<line start="3362" end="3391" speaker="strongsad">Credenza!</line>
<line start="3399" end="3426" speaker="strongsad">Credwenzia!</line>
<line start="3429" end="3443" speaker="strongsad">Credwenz...</line>
<line start="3444" end="3493" speaker="marzipan">It's been two hours and we haven't heard anything. Credenza must hate me.</line>
<line start="3497" end="3551" speaker="strongsad">No, no! Maybe I just need to do this some more. Credenzell!</line>
<line start="3555" end="3574" speaker="marzipan">What's that? That must be him.</line>
<line start="3577" end="3601" speaker="strongsad">Yep. That sounds like a ficus.</line>
<line start="3607" end="3644" speaker="homestar">Let me in. Da, da, da. Let me in!</line>
<line start="3648" end="3677" speaker="marzipan">Hey, you're not a dead ficus plant!</line>
<line start="3682" end="3710" speaker="homestar">You're so smart. I'm Homestar Runn...</line>
<line start="3711" end="3745" speaker="marzipan">Get in here, you guys. You're gonna scare away Credenza.</line>
<line start="3775" end="3827" speaker="kingoftown">Ooh! Not bad for a first course. I'm still hungry.</line>
<line start="3844" end="3869" speaker="homestar">I told you I'd get a million libs of candy.</line>
<line start="3876" end="3899" speaker="bubs">That sure doesn't smell like candy.</line>
<line start="3913" end="3923" speaker="homestar">Hey, you're right!</line>
<line start="3930" end="3959" speaker="homestar">Poopsmith? Did you give me some bum candy?</line>
<line start="3977" end="3990" speaker="bubs">He sure did!</line>
<line start="4018" end="4083" speaker="homsar">I'm open for interpretation!</line>
<line start="4113" end="4130" speaker="marzipan">Any minute now.</line>
<line start="4137" end="4142" speaker="marzipan">Oooo!</line>
<line start="4148" end="4209" speaker="strongsad">Whoa! Electrical disturbances. There's definately a powerful spirit present.</line>
<line start="4212" end="4240" speaker="homestar">You mean, like, the spirit of giving?</line>
<line start="4292" end="4307" speaker="marzipan">You've gotta be kidding me.</line>
<line start="4314" end="4339" speaker="marzipan">Stop doing that right now.</line>
<line start="4346" end="4379" speaker="kingoftown">Stop what? I don't do nothing!</line>
<line start="4388" end="4426" speaker="marzipan" volume="0.8">Stupid, stupid King of Town. He gets on my nerv...</line>
<line start="4427" end="4437" speaker="marzipan">What the crap?</line>
<line start="4442" end="4471" speaker="strongsad">I think this is it!</line>
<line start="4479" end="4512" speaker="strongmad">WRAH! WRAH! WRAH! WRAH!</line>
<line start="4516" end="4573" speaker="strongbad">Uhhh, that's not really the conventional way to roll a house, but, uh, whatever works!</line>
<line start="4605" end="4622" speaker="strongmad">HIGGINS!</line>
<line start="4625" end="4641" speaker="marzipan">Oh, hi Strong Mad.</line>
<line start="4645" end="4682" speaker="marzipan" volume="0.8">Stupid. This is stupid. And he ate the candy corn lights...</line>
<line start="4683" end="4699" speaker="strongbad">Oh, what's going in in here?</line>
<line start="4703" end="4737" speaker="strongbad">You guys having one of those stupid moron parties or something?</line>
<line start="4740" end="4766" speaker="strongsad">Ok, everybody say it with me this time.</line>
<line start="4770" end="4802">
<strongsad>Credenza!</strongsad>
<coachz>Crordenza!</coachz>
<marzipan>Credenza? Credenza?</marzipan>
<strongbad>This is boring!</strongbad>
</line>
<line start="4805" end="4845">
<strongsad>Credenza!</strongsad>
<coachz>Credenzer!</coachz>
<homestar>Witches' Brew!</homestar>
</line>
<line start="4853" end="4867" speaker="strongsad">Whoa, the lights went out.</line>
<line start="4872" end="4882" speaker="homestar">Woah. Magic.</line>
<line start="4885" end="4930" speaker="bubs">Yep, I've dealt with this before. Lights: definitely out.</line>
<line start="4933" end="4979" speaker="homestar">And somebody's a-grabbin' a-my butt...</line>
<line start="5009" end="5023" speaker="marzipan">Credenza, you're alive!</line>
<line start="5027" end="5074" speaker="homestar">Saints be praised! Credenza's alive!</line>
<line start="5080" end="5094"><strongsad>Yay!</strongsad><marzipan>Yay!</marzipan></line>
<line start="5101" end="5138" speaker="homestar">And Strong Bad got to throw toilet paper at stuff!</line>
<line start="5143" end="5155"><strongbad>Yay!</strongbad><thecheat>The Cheat noises</thecheat><strongmad>WRAH!</strongmad></line>
<line start="5160" end="5192" speaker="homestar">And I got a million pounds of candy!</line>
<line start="5209" end="5220" speaker="homestar" volume="0.8">Yay.</line>
<line start="5227" end="5265" speaker="homestar">And the goblin showed up drssed up like a Santaman.</line>
<line start="5300" end="5319" speaker="all">Yay!</line>
<line start="5423" end="5464" speaker="homestar">Hey, Strong Bad, I really like your El Debarge costume.</line>
<line start="5467" end="5480" speaker="strongbad">I'm not El Debarge.</line>
<line start="5487" end="5517" speaker="bubs">No, no, he's Miami Sound Machine.</line>
<line start="5521" end="5532" speaker="strongbad">No, I'm not.</line>
<line start="5536" end="5554" speaker="coachz">He's Terence Trent D'arby!</line>
<line start="5558" end="5585" speaker="strongbad">No, I'm Carmen freakin' Mir...</line>
<line start="5586" end="5629" speaker="strongbad">No, wait. I'm Ozone. From Breakin'.</line>
<line start="5640" end="5679" speaker="homestar">Hey, Coach Z, I really like your Wesley Snakes outfit.</line>
<line start="5683" end="5722" speaker="coachz">I'm Kool Moe Dee! You know, from The Treacherous Three?</line>
<line start="5730" end="5793" speaker="homestar">Oh, see, I only saw Treacherous 1 and 2, so, um, I wouldn't know.</line>
<line start="5811" end="5848" speaker="coachz">Well, Strong Sad, this is a beautiful house you got here.</line>
<line start="5854" end="5876" speaker="strongsad">This is not my beautiful house!</line>
<line start="5882" end="5923" speaker="coachz">Oh, and I haven't been introduced to your beautiful wife yet, neither.</line>
<line start="5929" end="5952" speaker="strongsad">This is not my beautiful wife!</line>
<line start="5964" end="5995" speaker="homestar">Hey, Marzipan, what's with your sweater costume?</line>
<line start="6000" end="6045" speaker="strongbad">The Log Lady, huh? Maybe you should get together with the Poopsmith!</line>
<line start="6056" end="6098" speaker="homestar">Say, Bubs, I really like your dirty man outfit.</line>
<line start="6105" end="6127" speaker="bubs">Whatever you say, Homestar.</line>
<line start="6147" end="6168" speaker="homestar">Hey, The Cheat... Um...</line>
<line start="6184" end="6207" speaker="homestar">Dress up as something different next year.</line>
<line start="6218" end="6233" speaker="homestar">Thing's creeping me out.</line>
<line start="6291" end="6322" speaker="homestar">Cool. Flaming Poopsmith.</line>
</transcript>