Subtitles:sbemail114/en
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| These are the English subtitles for the facts. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail114.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="15" end="64" speaker="strongbad">I'm checkin' e-mail, I'm checkin' e-mail. Hey, hey, I'm checkin' e-mail, I'm checkin' e-mail.</line>
<line start="69" end="154" speaker="strongbad">"Dah Sto Bo, I was just wondering, why doesn't Strong Mad have his own cartoon? Your fan, Jess... G'oh!"</line>
<line start="159" end="221" speaker="strongbad">Well, Jess, as much as I cherish brother Graw Mad, let's look at the facts:</line>
<line start="234" end="283" speaker="strongbad">Fact one: The guy's got a pretty tenuous grasp on the English language.</line>
<line start="291" end="305" speaker="strongbad">For examplé:</line>
<line start="315" end="363" speaker="strongbad">Hey, Strong Mad! What, uh... What's my favorite movie?</line>
<line start="370" end="396" speaker="strongmad" voiceover="voiceover">GARBLEDINA!</line>
<line start="399" end="431" speaker="strongbad">Fact two: Garbledina.</line>
<line start="444" end="479" speaker="strongbad">Fact three: he's like a big square, this guy.</line>
<line start="488" end="535" speaker="strongbad">I don't really know if that has anything to do with why he doesn't have his own cartoon.</line>
<line start="543" end="587" speaker="strongbad">But it's just weird, is all. Un...settling.</line>
<line start="599" end="628" speaker="strongbad">I guess if he lived in Cubeland it might work,</line>
<line start="633" end="697" speaker="strongbad">but... Cubeland is a place I just made up, so... on to fact four.</line>
<line start="704" end="736" speaker="strongbad">Zero volume control.</line>
<line start="742" end="763" speaker="strongbad">Once again, obsoyve.</line>
<line start="781" end="834" speaker="strongbad" volume="0.9">Hey, biggest bro. Mom says to keep it down 'cause baby Strong Sad's sleeping.</line>
<line start="843" end="883" speaker="strongmad">I CAN BE THE QUIETEST MOUSE!</line>
<line start="888" end="927" speaker="strongmad">I LIVE IN THE QUIETEST HOUSE!</line>
<line start="939" end="982" speaker="strongbad">Fact five: Directorial inexperience.</line>
<line start="989" end="1038" speaker="strongbad">Considering the only movie Strong Mad's ever made is 'Doug the Dino,'</line>
<line start="1043" end="1083" speaker="strongbad">I doubt he'd be able to handle an entire cartoon on his own.</line>
<line start="1093" end="1115" speaker="strongmad" voiceover="voiceover">DINOSAUR!</line>
<line start="1310" end="1399" speaker="strongbad">Y'see? Misguided direction, no comedic timing, and the script is riddled with gaping plot holes.</line>
<line start="1411" end="1456" speaker="strongbad">And finally, Fact 6: Have you seen his computer?</line>
<line start="1461" end="1515" speaker="strongmad">E-COMMERCE! E-BUSINESS!</line>
<line start="1525" end="1551" speaker="strongbad">So let's review. Fact 1: Ehgh-</line>
<line start="1552" end="1571" speaker="homestar" volume="0.9">I own my own cartoon, Strong Bad.</line>
<line start="1572" end="1591" speaker="strongbad">What? I'm over here!</line>
<line start="1594" end="1620" speaker="homestar" volume="0.9">Oh. I own my own cartoon, Pom Pom.</line>
<line start="1621" end="1656" speaker="strongbad">Homestar, a cartoon starring you would be horrible.</line>
<line start="1660" end="1728" speaker="strongbad">It'd just be you saying "Sewiously" all the time and acting like a moron... all the time.</line>
<line start="1734" end="1778" speaker="homestar">No, no! Not no more! I got a new catchphrase!</line>
<line start="1783" end="1787" speaker="strongbad">No.</line>
<line start="1788" end="1794" speaker="homestar">You wanna hear it?</line>
<line start="1795" end="1801" speaker="strongbad">No!</line>
<line start="1804" end="1834" speaker="homestar">I'd be all the time sayin' "That's bupkis!"</line>
<line start="1838" end="1863" speaker="homestar" volume="0.9">Oh, sorry. "That's bupkis!"</line>
<line start="1864" end="1879" speaker="strongbad">What are you whispering for?</line>
<line start="1881" end="1936" speaker="homestar" volume="0.9">Because! Baby Strong Sad is sleeping!</line>
<line start="1940" end="2002" speaker="strongbad">Now, you see this disgusting little chit-chat we're having here? This is what your cartoon would be like.</line>
<line start="2005" end="2052" speaker="homestar">Then it'd be a number one hit! And that's the end of my show! DONK!</line>
<line start="2055" end="2070" speaker="thepaper">Preeeow!</line>
<line start="2071" end="2078" speaker="strongbad">Hey!</line>
<line start="2091" end="2120" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Homestar Runner will be right right back!</line>
<line start="2122" end="2151" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Homestar Runner will be right right back!</line>
<line start="2153" end="2181" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Homestar Runner will be right right back!</line>
<line start="2184" end="2212" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">We're coming right back after these messages!</line>
<line start="2216" end="2252" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">We're coming right back after these messageeeees...</line>
</transcript>
