Hremail 62

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Transcript

Currently in process

{Opens to a silhouette of Homestar Runner sitting at a table with a coffee mug}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Don't look now kids, it's everyone's favorite knock-kneed weightlifter, Homestar Runner!"

{Music and applause; scene zooms out and is lit.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks sillhuette! Today's letter comes from Chuck from Rochester. {reads}

Hello, Homestar
Can you tell me if there is
some kind of Homestar
Runner Center or Homestar
Runner International Center
for Cultural Achievement or
something like that that I
could bring my students to
for a field trip?

Chuck, Rochester

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh yes, most definitely, Doctor! {Cut to a black and white photo of a brick building} Established in 1994, the Homestar Runner "Bachieve to Alieve" foundation, commonly known as, {Scene zooms out to reveal the scene in a picture on an orange drawer} this drawer, {fanfare} this drawer, {fanfare} this drawer! Would make an excellent field, road, or head trip for you and your studentia. Is that the plural of student, studentia? Anyway, lets see what the foundache has to offer!

{Homestar opens drawer and reveals a dank inside with a crusty yellow crayon}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ooh! Smell all that culture and education! First up on our tour, is this brellow crown! {Holds up the crayon} and what a rich history it has! It dates all the way back to this one time. Arturo, if you please!

{Cut to a computer sitting on the desk}

ARTURO: Coming right up, Mr. Runner! {Scene of Homestar walking to Bub's Concession Stand comes on screen, zooms in to video}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, I sure love my brown crown!

{Cut to Strong Sad walking the other way, holding a yellow crayon}

STRONG SAD: Oh yellow crayon, only you know what really happened!

{Cut to Bubs at the concession stand holding a wrench}

BUBS: Hey! You purple wrench!

{Concession stand moves up and down}

STRONG SAD: Oh!

BUBS: Alright young lovers! Knock it off back there!

{Cut back to Homestar at the drawer}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: My brellow crown is instrumental in the drawing of buttered toast, {Holds up a picture with a drawing of toast on it}, not quite hornets, {Holds up a picture of a brown and yellow hornet}, and the sun, with a 'fro. {Holds up a picture of the sun with a brown afro} Next item up on our tour, is my collection of old stars! {cut back to drawer} This is my unique cross section of my many assets! {holds up a cotton ball, a glittery golden star, and a crusty paper star} Browny here, is from back when I was known as the popcorn lumper! This one's from my brief stinge as supreme emperor! Of... Marzipan's... brownstar {unintelligible?} And you won't believe why I had to replace this old guy! Talk about cultural! That mess was like, four score years ago!

{Cut to Homestar from the colonial days, with a powdered wig and writing on a desk with a quill pen}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: