A Decemberween Pageant

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Revision as of 02:17, 20 November 2004

A Decemberween Pageant

The gang puts on a play about Decemberween's origins.

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner/The King of Town (Decemberween), Marzipan/The Angel, The King of Town, Bubs/Dr.Christmas/Cornbread,Coach Z, Strong Bad/Archibald, Pom Pom/Kobe #1, The Cheat/The Popular Vote, Strong Sad/The First Decemberween, Strong Mad/Kobe #2

Page Title: A Decemberween Pageant

Transcript

{Marzipan and Homestar Runner are in costumes, Marzipan as an angel and Homestar as the King of Town.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Wow. I can't believe the night of the big Decemberween pageant has finally arrived! After all the weeks and weeks of rehearsing and practicing and memorizing lines...

MARZIPAN: Homestar, I don't think those are your lines.

{Zoom out to see that they're both onstage, actually performing. The audience laughs.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What?!

{Cut to the title sequence. "A DECEMBERWEEN PAGEANT" "THE USUAL CREDITS" "FADE TO COMMERCIAL" It fades to black, then comes back on with the "A DECEMBERWEEN PAGEANT" title.}

ANNOUNCER: A Decemberween Pageant is brought to you by Fluffy Puff Marshmallows and Marshmallow Mayonnaise. {singing poorly} "Made from the best stuff!" And Litigation Jackson, in theaters December 27th!

{Fade to black. It fades up on Bubs and the King of Town, the latter of whom is wearing a Santa outfit.}

THE KING OF TOWN: Puts on a Burger King crown and thinks he's cock of the block! I can't believe they cast Homestar as the King of Town.

BUBS: Yep. They did.

THE KING OF TOWN: At least I still get to play Dr. Christmas. I can't wait to--

BUBS: Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you about that. Uh...

{Bubs takes the cap from the King of Town, puts it on, and walks off. Coach Z pops his head in.}

COACH Z: Uh... Kingy? You can go home.

{Cut to the stage, where Bubs and Strong Bad are on. Strong Bad has a spear, a turtleneck, and a beanie cap.}

BUBS: Archibald! We've got to find the first Decemberween!

STRONG BAD: I'll search down by the docks.

BUBS: What?

STRONG BAD: The docks. I'll search down by the docks.

BUBS: Ooh. I thought you said ducks. Good thinking! I'll come with ya.

{They walk off, applause is heard. Cut to backstage as they continue walking and Coach Z is there.}

COACH Z: Now that's what I call actin', boys! Don't go too far, Bubs! You're on again in farve!

{Cut to Marzipan and Pom Pom, who is wearing a Lakers jersey.}

MARZIPAN: I hardly recognize the Cheat, his costume is really convincing.

{Cut to back on stage. Bubs is there, as well as Homestar Runner, and The Cheat, who is wearing a sign that says "The Popular Vote". There are gears in the background.}

BUBS: We'll need fifty bags of jold! I mean, gold! Fifty bag of golds.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I just can't do it, Dr. Christmas. Famine has ruined all the town's gold. Let us away, Popular Vote!

{Homestar starts getting lifted up by a rope. Pulley sounds are heard and Homestar is grunting. The audience boos, then applauds. Homestar stops at about halfway up.}

STRONG BAD: {offstage} Okay. That's all you're getting out of me. {The curtain closes.} Guy's like a frickin' house.

{We hear a thud.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oww!

{Cut to backstage. Strong Sad is holding his head.}

STRONG SAD: Augh! I'm totally freaking out here! I can't remember my lines, and if I don't remember my lines, then I'll ruin the whole play! At least the pageant.

{Cut back to the stage. Strong Bad is in a boat named the "USS Trimball" and there are cardboard cut-out waves being pulled back and forth, along with tentacles sticking out of stage right.}

STRONG BAD: How unfortunate! Oh, what a terrible fate has bestowed with me...uh, become to me... There's a squid.

{Cut to later, onstage, with Marzipan and The Cheat standing by a prop Eiffel Tower.}

MARZIPAN: I'll never forget you, Popular Vote, not in a million years! {the Cheat starts crying} Don't cry! Popular Votes aren't supposed to cry! You might rust. {audience laughs}

{Cut to backstage, with Coach Z)

COACH Z: Oh! Hey! Ooh! Where's Strong Sad? He's on in two scenes!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. He got nervous and went to the bathroom. I think he might be up-chucking.

{Coach Z goes to Strong Mad}

COACH Z: Hey Strong Mad. I need you to go get your brother.

STRONG MAD: I'M OPEN! I'M OPEN!

COACH Z: 'Course you are, big guy. 'Course you are.

{Cut to the stage where Strong Bad, Bubs, Marzipan, and Homestar Runner are doing a music number.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Everyone's searching, looking and searching...

MARZIPAN: {singing} And everyone's hanging around!

BUBS: {singing} And who can be sure if we're looking for something?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} And looking for something I am!

{Cut to Strong Mad and Strong Sad in the bathroom. Strong Sad has locked himself in a stall.}

STRONG SAD: I'll be there in a second. Tell them to make something up until I get out there.

{Cut to the stage. Bubs, Marzipan, and Homestar Runner are standing there.}

BUBS: Everybody knows me! My name's Cornbread!

{Strong Bad walks in}

STRONG BAD: Uhh... I found a computer. I think it can help us!

BUBS: So, this computer you speak of. Where is it?

STRONG BAD: Umm... on the moon. It's a moon computer.

{Cut to backstage with Strong Sad.}

STRONG SAD: Remember your line, remember your line!

{Back to the stage}

MARZIPAN: I can take you there! Everyone hop on!

{Strong Sad walks on.}

BUBS: Behold! The first Decemberween!

STRONG SAD: What?

{The audience claps}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: This is the first Decemberween ever!

{Applause gets louder, the curtains close, and "THE END" appears.}

Easter Eggs

• At the end, click on "The End" for a pamphlet about the play, click again to see the inside, and click below "The End" to see the Litigation Jackson poster.

Fun Facts

• Coach Z's Clipboard has the note: "Note to self: The show must go on"
• Notice at the bottom of the Litigation Jackson poster, it says "A Sportsinterviews / Delabor Production". The movie is made by Lem Sportsinterviews and Thorax Corporation!
• When Homestar says "This is the first Decemberween ever" is a reference to when he says "This is the Best Decemberween Ever" in The Best Decemberween Ever.
• The Poopsmith does the lighting for the play. (Or so the pamphlet says).
• Strong Bad's costume and the scene with the squid are references to Disney's 1954 interpretation of Jules Verne's "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea". Strong Bad is Captain Nemo, even though he's called "Archibald".
• Homestar is wearing a Burger King crown.
• The Litigation Jackson poster has a man holding a box which reads "Legal Documents".
• "Litigation Jackson" is a spoof on a 1988 movie called "Action Jackson" which starred Carl Weathers and Sharon Stone.
• The tagline on the Litigation Jackson poster, "The System Really Works, Jerks!" is a parody of the phrase "The System is Down."

External Links

• watch "A Decemberween Pageant"
• view the flash file for "A Decemberween Pageant"