Subtitles:sbemail165/en

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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail165.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="18" end="40" speaker="strongbad">I'm doin' a party, <span style="visibility:hidden">I'm makin' it happen, on Strong Bad Email.</span></line>
<line start="40" end="64" speaker="strongbad">I'm doin' a party, I'm makin' it happen, <span style="visibility:hidden">on Strong Bad Email.</span></line>
<line start="64" end="86" speaker="strongbad">I'm doin' a party, I'm makin' it happen, on Strong Bad Email.</line>
<line start="86" end="124" speaker="strongbad">"Strong Bad, for a long time, I've been wondering..."</line>
<line start="124" end="148" speaker="strongbad">"How far can you throw The Cheat?"</line>
<line start="148" end="206" speaker="strongbad">"If you don't want to do that, could you beat the crud out of Homestar for no reason?"</line>
<line start="206" end="238" speaker="strongbad">"Lewis Rudkin, S-X, England."</line>
<line start="238" end="285" speaker="strongbad">Y'know, it's funny how this always seems to work out, Rudkin... <span style="visibility:hidden">but those just happen to be the first two events in the Strong Badathlon!</span></line>
<line start="285" end="340" speaker="strongbad">Y'know, it's funny how this always seems to work out, Rudkin... but those just happen to be the first two events in the Strong Badathlon!</line>
<line start="340" end="416" sfx="sfx">fanfare</line>
<line start="416" end="463" speaker="strongbad">Unfortunately, they also happen to be my two worst events.</line>
<line start="463" end="510" speaker="strongbad">The Cheat Chuck is consistently dominated by the Kenyans. <span style="visibility:hidden">I mean, the Poopsmith.</span></line>
<line start="510" end="532" speaker="strongbad">The Cheat Chuck is consistently dominated by the Kenyans. I mean, the Poopsmith.</line>
<line start="532" end="570" speaker="strongbad">Ever since he devised the Whatsitburied Slop...</line>
<line start="570" end="590" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">...that guy's unbeatable!</line>
<line start="590" end="602">
<sfx>plop</sfx>
<thecheat>The Cheat noise</thecheat>
<sfx>shake</sfx>
</line>
<line start="602" end="627">
<thecheat>screaming The Cheat noises</thecheat>
</line>
<line start="627" end="639">
<thecheat>screaming The Cheat noises</thecheat>
<coachz>Holy gorsh! It looks like a new record!</coachz></line>
<line start="639" end="659">
<span style="visibility:hidden"><thecheat>screaming The Cheat noises</thecheat></span>
<coachz>Holy gorsh! It looks like a new record!</coachz></line>
<line start="659" end="680" speaker="marzipan">...and that's why I believe the DNA evidence had been tampered with.</line>
<line start="680" end="693" speaker="marzipan">...and that's why I believe the DNA evidence had been tampered with.
<thecheat>screaming The Cheat noises</thecheat></line>
<line start="693" end="715"><sfx>splat</sfx><thecheat>screaming The Cheat noise</thecheat></line>
<line start="715" end="758" speaker="homsar">Well, hello, chocolate cake!
<thecheat volume="0.5">moaning The Cheat noises</thecheat></line>
<line start="758" end="827" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-of-Beating is another event you'd think I'd be the best at.</line>
<line start="827" end="887" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">But the reigning champion seems to have intimate knowledge of Homestar's weak points.</line>
<line start="887" end="908" speaker="homestar"><sfx>punch</sfx>
Come on, you little so and so.</line>
<line start="908" end="927" speaker="homestar"><sfx>slap, punch</sfx>
Is that all you got?</line>
<line start="927" end="962" speaker="homestar"><sfx>punch, slap</sfx>
Oh yeah? Oh yeah? You think you got it like that?</line>
<line start="962" end="993" speaker="homestar"><sfx>punch, punch, punch</sfx>
Whaddya think this is, you little place mat?</line>
<line start="993" end="1010" speaker="homestar"><sfx>smack</sfx>A diaper show? <span style="visibility:hidden">It's not a diaper show.</span></line>
<line start="1010" end="1027" speaker="homestar"><sfx>punch</sfx>A diaper show? It's not a diaper show.</line>
<line start="1027" end="1053" speaker="homestar"><sfx>punch</sfx>
I think that's pretty obvious.</line>
<line start="1053" end="1116" speaker="strongbad">Man, man, we should start putting those Homestar Vs. Homestar fights on pay-per-view.</line>
<line start="1116" end="1159" speaker="strongbad">Instant classics! And speaking of pay-per-view...</line>
<line start="1159" end="1185" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">...next up is the Remote Put.</line>
<line start="1185" end="1195" sfx="sfx">ding</line>
<line start="1195" end="1205" speaker="other"><sfx>bang</sfx>
Cute little girl from sit-com sings patriotic song.</line>
<line start="1205" end="1245" speaker="other"><span style="visibility:hidden"><sfx>slam</sfx></span>
Cute little girl from sit-com sings patriotic song.</line>
<line start="1245" end="1297" speaker="strongbad" volume="1.3">Argh, I freakin' hate that little kid! Why'd they ever bring her on the show?!</line>
<line start="1300" end="1320"><strongbad volume="1.3">Agh!</strongbad>
<sfx>crash, bouncing</sfx></line>
<line start="1320" end="1330" sfx="sfx">buzzer</line>
<line start="1330" end="1354" speaker="strongbad" volume="1.3">WHAT?! These games are fixed!</line>
<line start="1354" end="1380" speaker="strongbad" volume="1.3">Check the East German's pants! Check the--</line>
<line start="1380" end="1390" sfx="sfx">static</line>
<line start="1390" end="1424" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Our coverage of the 2007 Strong Badathlon continues...</line>
<line start="1424" end="1445" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">...with the Clean and Jerk... <span style="visibility:hidden">Strong Mad's Underwears... Over His Head.</span>
<sfx>fanfare</sfx></line>
<line start="1445" end="1475" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">...with the Clean and Jerk... Strong Mad's Underwears... <span style="visibility:hidden">Over His Head.</span>
<sfx>fanfare</sfx></line>
<line start="1475" end="1493" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">...with the Clean and Jerk... Strong Mad's Underwears... Over His Head.
<sfx>fanfare</sfx></line>
<line start="1493" end="1525" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Fortunately, you don't really have to clean them.</line>
<line start="1525" end="1603" speaker="strongbad">Uhh, are you trying to tell me that this man doesn't already have a wedgie of illegal proportions?</line>
<line start="1603" end="1643" speaker="coachz">Nope. That's the regulation starting point.</line>
<line start="1643" end="1672" speaker="strongbad">That's it, I'm boycotting these games.</line>
<line start="1672" end="1699" speaker="strongmad" volume="1.5">THANK THE LORD!</line>
<line start="1699" end="1789" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And finally, my strongest event, Probably Something with Guitars, Lasers, Robots, and Hot Girls.</line>
<line start="1789" end="1814" speaker="visorrobot">Vorp. Vorp. Vorp.</line>
<line start="1814" end="1845" speaker="strongbad"><em>(imitates laser beams)</em></line>
<line start="1845" end="1907" speaker="strongbad">Hey, wait, look Iconic I got I won the Good medal.</line>
<line start="1907" end="1950" sfx="sfx">imitates guitar licks</line>
<line start="1950" end="1962" speaker="other">Streisand.</line>
<line start="1962" end="2003" speaker="strongbad">And after all the medals have been given to the wrong athletes,</line>
<line start="2003" end="2035" speaker="strongbad">...we come to the ending closimonies,</line>
<line start="2035" end="2116" speaker="strongbad">...celebrating poor sportsmanship, drug testing, and good ol' fashioned people twirling ribbons.</line>
<line start="2116" end="2135" speaker="strongsad"><em>(singing)</em> Togetherness.</line>
<line start="2135" end="2153" speaker="marzipan"><em>(singing)</em> Togetherness.</line>
<line start="2153" end="2188">
<strongsad><em>(singing)</em> Encircling the world.</strongsad>
<marzipan><em>(singing)</em> Encircling the world.</marzipan>
</line>
<line start="2188" end="2224" speaker="homestar"><em>(singing)</em> Just take those old glasses off the shelf...
<sfx>dancing</sfx></line>
<line start="2224" end="2240">
<sfx>fireworks</sfx>
<sfx>dancing</sfx></line>
<line start="2240" end="2300" speaker="strongbad">There you have it, Rudkin Shampoo. Someteen Days of Glory!</line>
<line start="2300" end="2364" speaker="strongbad">And after the closimonies, most BadAthletes immediately begin filming product endorsements...</line>
<line start="2364" end="2402" speaker="strongbad">...while their names are still fresh in our minds.</line>
<line start="2402" end="2433" speaker="strongbad"><sfx>music begins</sfx>
Whoa. Wipe my brow.</line>
<line start="2433" end="2488" speaker="strongbad">Winning gold medals takes a lot of hard cereal, and dedication.</line>
<line start="2488" end="2572" speaker="strongbad">That's why I eat... Temporarios! The official cereal of athletes you won't remember in two weeks!</line>
<line start="2572" end="2603" speaker="strongbad">Temporarios! <span style="visibility:hidden">"Cause I'm Don't Get Paid!"</span></line>
<line start="2603" end="2633" speaker="strongbad">Temporarios! "Cause I'm Don't Get Paid!"</line>
<line start="2633" end="2645" sfx="sfx">Preeeeow!</line>
</transcript>