Apothecary

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"I can legally prescribe marriages in the state of Kansattica."

There have been numerous references to apothecaries in the Homestar Runner universe.

Email 2 emails — An Easter egg brings up Old-Timey Strong Bad, who claims "he's no apothecary" while advertising "Uncle Strong Bad's Flavor Taste Style Chewing Powders."
Mr. Shmallow — The toon page summary reads "He's no apothecary."
Email theme song — CGNU's diplomas include "marriage apothecary," which Senor Cardgage believes will allow him to legally prescribe marriages in Kansattica.
No Hands On Deck! — Bubs' Concession Stand is described as an apothecary.