Subtitles:hremail2000/en
From Homestar Runner Wiki
| These are the English subtitles for Hremail 2000. watch this toon
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome.
It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on homestarrunner.com and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer. |
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="hremail2000.swf" width="550" height="400"> <line start="32" end="75" speaker="homestar">Give it the gas, people! It's the breakout album of the year,</line> <line start="76" end="85" speaker="homestar">Homestar Runner!</line> <line start="86" end="107"><homestar>Homestar Runner!</homestar><sfx>applause</sfx></line> <line start="108" end="138"><span style="visibility:hidden"><homestar>Homestar Runner!</homestar></span><sfx>applause</sfx></line> <line start="139" end="156" speaker="homestar">Thanks, shadow self!</line> <line start="157" end="172" speaker="homestar">We'll do battle later.</line> <line start="173" end="224" speaker="homestar">Today's missile comes from Josh Keady in Corvallis, Oregon!</line> <line start="225" end="241" speaker="homestar">"Dear Homestar.</line> <line start="242" end="275" speaker="homestar">"How long should a person keep a pair of shoes?</line> <line start="276" end="310" speaker="homestar">"I have this one pair that has been around for years,</line> <line start="311" end="343" speaker="homestar">"but they're falling apart pretty badly now.</line> <line start="344" end="377" speaker="homestar">"My girlfriend thinks that I should get rid of them.</line> <line start="378" end="418" speaker="homestar">"So what do I do? Repair or replace?</line> <line start="419" end="459" speaker="homestar">"Urgently waiting for your advice, Josh."</line> <line start="460" end="484" speaker="homestar">Now you see those three little words?</line> <line start="485" end="511" speaker="homestar">"My girlfriend thinks"?</line> <line start="512" end="534" speaker="homestar">That's your problem right there!</line> <line start="535" end="557" speaker="homestar">I got one o' them, too.</line> <line start="558" end="583" speaker="homestar">The lad-ays just don't understand that</line> <line start="584" end="635" speaker="homestar">it can take a man's shoes five to several years to finally get</line> <line start="636" end="712" speaker="homestar">that sought-after walkin'-around-with-someone-else's-slightly-larger-foot-pelts-on-your-feet feeling!</line> <line start="713" end="775" speaker="homestar">Stuff like holes, duct tape, and rank odor are just the shoe equivalent of</line> <line start="776" end="789" speaker="homestar">graying hair, <span style="visibility:hidden">buying a blue Miata, and dating your graduate assistant!</span></line> <line start="790" end="808" speaker="homestar">graying hair, buying a blue Miata, <span style="visibility:hidden">and dating your graduate assistant!</span></line> <line start="809" end="831" speaker="homestar">graying hair, buying a blue Miata, and dating your graduate assistant!</line> <line start="832" end="840" speaker="sfx">ding</line> <line start="841" end="892" speaker="homestar">Now first of all, Josh, let's find out how old your shoes <em>really</em> are.</line> <line start="893" end="911" speaker="homestar">And by that I mean</line> <line start="912" end="941" speaker="homestar">how many office supplies you got holdin' 'em together.</line> <line start="942" end="965" speaker="homestar">Rubber bands for laces?</line> <line start="966" end="1004" speaker="homestar">Paperclips keeping the tongue from falling apart?</line> <line start="1005" end="1046" speaker="homestar">These little things doing... their... little thing?</line> <line start="1047" end="1073" speaker="homestar">Why do I wanna call these "cow clips"?</line> <line start="1074" end="1115" speaker="homestar">Does anyone else call these "cow clips"? No?</line> <line start="1116" end="1155" speaker="homestar">Moooo! Moooooo!</line> <line start="1156" end="1174" speaker="homestar">If your kicks are old enough,</line> <line start="1175" end="1234" speaker="homestar">as my pair of Freshley's Trackfaster Pro Squadrons certainly are,</line> <line start="1235" end="1283" speaker="homestar">then you can usually distract a few more months outta your girlfriend with...</line> <line start="1284" end="1312" speaker="homestar" volume="1.5">A puppet show!</line> <line start="1313" end="1378" speaker="homestar">Tra-la-la! I'm a lonely Swiss miss lost in a chanted forest!</line> <line start="1379" end="1440" speaker="homestar">Yes! And now you will toil away in my toil-et mines,</line> <line start="1441" end="1468" speaker="homestar">while I get all the kickbacks!</line> <line start="1469" end="1503" speaker="homestar">Oh no! Who will save me?</line> <line start="1504" end="1521" speaker="homestar">I'll save you!</line> <line start="1522" end="1529" speaker="marzipan" sfx="sfx">gasp</line> <line start="1530" end="1574" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">And when your puppet show gets canceled after three seasons...</line> <line start="1575" end="1602" speaker="marzipan">You mean the whole last season was a dream?!</line> <line start="1603" end="1616" speaker="marzipan">Gimme a break!</line> <line start="1617" end="1631" speaker="marzipan">They shoulda just had babies,</line> <line start="1632" end="1657" speaker="marzipan">and then the babies shoulda gotten married.</line> <line start="1658" end="1701" speaker="homestar">then it's time to start wearin' giant socks over your old shoes</line> <line start="1702" end="1733" speaker="homestar">with even bigger shoes on top of 'em!</line> <line start="1734" end="1775" speaker="homestar">And since you got one o' them thinking-type girlfriends,</line> <line start="1776" end="1827" speaker="homestar">I say throw another sock-shoe layer on top, just to be safe.</line> <line start="1828" end="1853" speaker="homestar">And at this point, if nothin' else,</line> <line start="1854" end="1883" speaker="homestar">you'll probably make a pretty good power-forward.</line> <line start="1884" end="1903" speaker="homestar">So go ahead and post up.</line> <line start="1904" end="1935" speaker="homestar">I'll be there to hit you in the paint.</line> <line start="1936" end="1941" speaker="homestar">Hoo! <span style="visibility:hidden">Heh! Hoo! Hoo-yah! Hoo! Hup!</span></line> <line start="1942" end="1946" speaker="homestar">Hoo! Heh! <span style="visibility:hidden">Hoo! Hoo-yah! Hoo! Hup!</span></line> <line start="1947" end="1953" speaker="homestar">Hoo! Heh! Hoo! <span style="visibility:hidden">Hoo-yah! Hoo! Hup!</span></line> <line start="1954" end="1964" speaker="homestar">Hoo! Heh! Hoo! Hoo-yah! <span style="visibility:hidden">Hoo! Hup!</span></line> <line start="1965" end="1970" speaker="homestar">Hoo! Heh! Hoo! Hoo-yah! Hoo! <span style="visibility:hidden">Hup!</span></line> <line start="1971" end="1976" speaker="homestar">Hoo! Heh! Hoo! Hoo-yah! Hoo! Hup!</line> <line start="1977" end="1990" speaker="homestar">Come on, Stockton!</line> <line start="1991" end="2032" speaker="homestar">I'd like to see you break through this impenetrable wall of defense!</line> <line start="2033" end="2070" speaker="marzipan">Homestar, you said there was gonna be a dance here tonight!</line> <line start="2071" end="2078" speaker="homestar">That's right:</line> <line start="2079" end="2116" speaker="homestar">the ancient art of watch-my-baskeeball dance!</line> <line start="2117" end="2151" speaker="marzipan">Uh... I think it's bas-KET-ball.</line> <line start="2152" end="2162" speaker="sfx">whistle</line> <line start="2163" end="2175"><sfx>whistle</sfx><homestar>Technical foul!</homestar></line> <line start="2176" end="2218" speaker="homestar">Art Stockton! First down!</line> <line start="2219" end="2235" speaker="sfx">shuffling noise</line> <line start="2247" end="2257" speaker="sfx">ding</line> <line start="2266" end="2290" speaker="announcer">Round one! FIGHT!</line> <line start="2291" end="2326" speaker="homestar">Aw, man! Shadow Homestar?!</line> <line start="2327" end="2348" speaker="homestar">"Hey, I've got a great idea!</line> <line start="2349" end="2376" speaker="homestar">"Let's dip the main character in a vat of ink</line> <line start="2377" end="2413" speaker="homestar">"and make you fight him before you get to the end boss!"</line> <line start="2414" end="2450" speaker="sfx">fighting noises</line> <line start="2450" end="2462" speaker="announcer" sfx="sfx">chuckles</line> <line start="2463" end="2508" speaker="announcer">Geez. Sorry to laugh, that was just... rough.</line> <line start="2509" end="2525" speaker="announcer">Ouch!</line> <line start="2551" end="2595" speaker="strongbad">Ah... <em>that's</em> the feeling I've been looking for!</line> <line start="2596" end="2618" speaker="strongbad">Come on, foot-pelts!</line> </transcript>
