A Jumping Jack Contest
From Homestar Runner Wiki
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== Want To See It? == | == Want To See It? == | ||
| - | + | [http://e2tl.playvectrex.com/mirror/jumpinjacks2.swf Mirror Site 1] (make sure you wait!) | |
== Transcript == | == Transcript == | ||
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(The End.) | (The End.) | ||
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Revision as of 01:52, 15 September 2004
Why Was It Taken Off?
This early Homestar Runner Cartoon has been taken off the site a long time ago, most likely for its reference to urination, the actual use of the phrase "pee my pants", or just TBC didn't want it on there anymore.
Want To See It?
Mirror Site 1 (make sure you wait!)
Transcript
(beginning credits roll with characters jumping jacks in background.)
Announcer: Good aftern--
(he is cut off by microphone interference.)
Announcer: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a jumping jack contest! Our five hot contestants will compete to see who can sustain their jumping jacks for the longest time! A contestant that ceases to jump jack, even for a moment, is out of the competition.
(Strong Sad sighs.)
Announcer: On your mark . . . get set . . . go!
(Shoots gun into the air. Bubs, Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Pom Pom, and Strong Sad jump jack.)
Strong Sad (after two): Whew. (Sweats) I quit.
Homestar Runner (still jumping jacks): All right, Strong Sad! That's twice as many as last year!
Cheat: (mumbles)
Strong Bad: Ah, The Cheat! Is everything ready?
Cheat: (nods)
Strong Bad: Good . . . now go, and win us this competition!
(The Cheat jumps up on stage with a glass of melonade on a platter, next to Homestar.)
Homestar Runner: Hey The Cheat, what's up?
The Cheat: (mumbles as if offering glass of melonade)
Homestar Runner (seen through glass): A glass of melonade for me? Mmm . . . okay!
(Sucks up melonade.)
Homestar Runner: Thanks The Cheat!
(Strong Mad stands by with kegs of melonade, refilling The Cheat's empty glass.)
The Cheat (mumbles): Thank you.
(The Cheat goes to Homestar Runner and offers another glass.)
Homestar Runner: Oh, another one! (drinks)
(We fast forward as Homestar Runner drinks glass after glass of melonade. Soon Homestar Runner's belly is huge.)
Homestar Runner: Oh . . . I drank too many melonades . . .
Strong Bad: Hey, you not looking so good Homestar. I think you better drop out.
(The Cheat and Strong Mad high five.)
Homestar Runner: Seriously, Pom Pom, I'm about to pee my pants.
Pom Pom: (bubbles)
Homestar Runner: Great idea, Pom Pom! But do you think you can get her in time?
(Homestar gives a sigh of relief. Zoom out to show the Poopsmith holding a jar of "yellow liquid.")
(Transition--Day 2)
Strong Bad: Hey, Bubs, look at that quite a line building up at your concession stand.
Bubs: Hot dog! (runs to stand) What can I get for you fine gentlemen? (holds up various treats)
(Strong Mad and The Cheat walk away.)
Bubs: Oh . . . I'm such a dummy.
Announcer (through speakers): And so it's Day 2 of our competition with only THREE hot contestants left!
(Transition--Day 3)
Homestar Runner: How you holding up Pom Pom?
Pom Pom: (bubbles)
Homestar Runner: How 'bout you, Strong Bad?
(Strong Mad wearing a Strong Bad mask is now on stage in place of Strong Bad.)
Strong Mad: I am Strong Bad!
Pom Pom (angrily): (bubbles)
Homestar Runner: No way, Pom Pom, of course that's Strong Bad! Ok, Strong Bad, are you Strong Bad?
Strong Mad: I am Strong Bad!
Homestar Runner: See?
(Pom Pom wears a disbelieving look.)
(Transition--Day 4)
Homestar Runner (wearily): I don't know how much longer I can make it, Pom Pom. And Strong Bad's still looking good!
(The Cheat is wearing a Strong Bad mask in place of Strong Bad.)
Strong Bad (lounging in a chair at the poolside with a radio and a glass of melonade): Ah, let's see, I want to thank The Cheat for helping me to cheat--oh no wait, I shouldn't say that. Let's try this again. I want to thank Strong Mad for helping me to cheat. There, that's better.
Announcer (through Strong Bad's radio): Homestar Runner is fading fast and will drop out any moment!
Strong Bad: Ah, that's my cue! (walks to contest)
Homestar Runner: I give up, Pom Pom. I'm about to jump my last jack. (Pom Pom walks over.) Pom Pom, what are you doing?!
(Pom Pom tears the mask off of The Cheat.)
Bubs: Hey, it's The Cheat, and it looks like he's cheating!
(The Cheat grabs a Homestar Runner face cut-out and puts it over his face, then throws it away.)
(Homestar Runner stops jumping jacks. Cue music.)
Homestar Runner: If that's The Cheat, then where's Strong Bad?
Strong Bad (sings): Who is the guy that wins all the contests? That's me Strong Bad. Except maybe for that one contest. Or maybe more than one contest.
Homestar Runner: There he is!
Strong Bad: Oh! Holy crap . . .
(A spinning trophy reads "What a Great Prize This Is.")
Homestar Runner: Thanks everybody, but this trophy really belongs to my best friend, Pom Pom.
(Strong Bad walks on in a Pom Pom costume.)
Strong Bad (taking trophy): Give me that! Uh, uh, I mean--bubble. Bubbly bubble. Double bubble.
Homestar Runner: You said it Pom Pom! We are best friends!
(The End.)
