Subtitles:sbemail171/en
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail171.swf" width="550" height="400"> <line start="16" end="94" speaker="strongbad">My email song! Where would I be without my email song?</line> <line start="95" end="115" speaker="strongbad">Dear... Strong... Bad.</line> <line start="116" end="175" speaker="strongbad">I am a manager and I have been told I must talk to one of my underlings about their stench.</line> <line start="176" end="253" speaker="strongbad">As the foremost expert in dealing with smelly underlings, I ask you, what is the best way to go about this?</line> <line start="254" end="293" speaker="strongbad">I wish to do this with some tact and professionalism.</line> <line start="294" end="322" speaker="strongbad">Sincerly, PlasticDiverGuy.</line> <line start="323" end="354" speaker="strongbad">Dart mouth, Nova Scotia.</line> <line start="355" end="425" speaker="strongbad">Man, that show Nova is boring, but I'd watch a show called Dartmouth anyday.</line> <line start="430" end="453" speaker="strongbad">Now lemme tell ya PastyDeadGuy,</line> <line start="454" end="473" speaker="strongbad">you came to the right man.</line> <line start="474" end="564" speaker="strongbad">I've got so many underlings, I've had to deal with every nearly every awkward social situation under the awkward social sun.</line> <line start="565" end="580" speaker="strongbad">I'm an exploit!</line> <line start="586" end="596" speaker="strongbad">Firstly,</line> <line start="597" end="679" speaker="strongbad">nothing says tact and professionalism like sending a subtle hint with a hilarious novelty t-shirt.</line> <line start="680" end="699" speaker="strongbad">So in your situation,</line> <line start="700" end="730" speaker="strongbad">you could just start wearing a shirt that has like,</line> <line start="731" end="762" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">some kinda science person on it,</line> <line start="763" end="789" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">with a clothespin on his nose,</line> <line start="790" end="832" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and underneath it says, You REEK-a!</line> <line start="834" end="859" speaker="strongbad">That way, your smelly underling,</line> <line start="860" end="881" speaker="strongbad">or smunderling,</line> <line start="882" end="939" speaker="strongbad">can get the message from across the room, and you can safely stay out of stink's reach!</line> <line start="940" end="994" speaker="strongbad">You know, I think I'd probably watch a TV show called "Stink's Reach", too.</line> <line start="1008" end="1017" speaker="strongbad">Secondly,</line> <line start="1018" end="1046" speaker="strongbad">nothing says tact and professionalism</line> <line start="1047" end="1094" speaker="strongbad">like slowly revealing a sensitive topic to a friend or loved one</line> <line start="1095" end="1123" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">with a clever connect-the-dots puzzle.</line> <line start="1127" end="1181" speaker="strongsad">What is he trying to say to me with this cryptic message?</line> <line start="1188" end="1199" speaker="strongbad">Furthermore,</line> <line start="1200" end="1228" speaker="strongbad">nothing says pact and trofessionalism</line> <line start="1229" end="1265" speaker="strongbad">like breaking tough news to someone with a reverse sunburn</line> <line start="1266" end="1308" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">on your brother's giant, square, billboard-sized back!</line> <line start="1309" end="1365" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Your tiny bathing suit demeans us all.</line> <line start="1366" end="1400" speaker="coachz">Aw, fine then! I'll take it orf!</line> <line start="1410" end="1438" speaker="sfx">humming noise</line> <line start="1439" end="1483"> <sfx>humming noise</sfx> <strongmad>PUT IT BACK ON! PUT IT BACK ON!</strongmad> </line> <line start="1484" end="1494" speaker="strongbad">Lastly,</line> <line start="1495" end="1521" speaker="strongbad">nothing says tact and professionalism</line> <line start="1522" end="1557" speaker="strongbad">like a hidden message written in condiments.</line> <line start="1560" end="1577" speaker="strongbad">Here ya go, chumpion!</line> <line start="1578" end="1605" speaker="homestar">Ooh! Thanks, grillmasta!</line> <line start="1610" end="1631" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">You've had that piece,</line> <line start="1632" end="1651" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">of cilantro,</line> <line start="1652" end="1674" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">stuck between your teeth,</line> <line start="1675" end="1710" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">since we ate at that Mexican restaurant,</line> <line start="1711" end="1728" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">two weeks ago.</line> <line start="1737" end="1776" speaker="homestar">Two weeks?!... <i>TEETH?!</i></line> <line start="1777" end="1792" speaker="strongbad">In conclusion,</line> <line start="1793" end="1868" speaker="strongbad">these are just some of the many things that nothing says tact and professionalism like.</line> <line start="1869" end="1929" speaker="strongbad">I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.</line> <line start="1930" end="1955" speaker="strongbad">If elected class president,</line> <line start="1956" end="1995" speaker="strongbad">I can't promise you Coke in the water fountains,</line> <line start="1996" end="2045" speaker="strongbad">but I can promise a hard-worker that will make a difference.</line> <line start="2046" end="2088" speaker="strongbad">And try to get Mrs. Hardmaster fired.</line> <line start="2089" end="2103" speaker="strongbad">AH-UH-AH-UH-HUH!</line> <line start="2104" end="2111" speaker="strongbad">Whoa!</line> <line start="2112" end="2145" speaker="strongbad">It's like I regressed back to the fifth grade there.</line> <line start="2146" end="2182" speaker="strongbad">And the golden days of the five-paragraph essay.</line> <line start="2183" end="2224" speaker="strongbad">Well, good luck with your smunderling, PranceyDirtGirl.</line> <line start="2225" end="2264" speaker="strongbad">I gotta get started making those 'You Reek-A' t-shirts.</line> <line start="2265" end="2288" speaker="strongbad">Those things are gonna be awesome!</line> <line start="2289" end="2301" speaker="sfx">Preeow!</line> <line start="2304" end="2346" speaker="sfx">piano music</line> <line start="2347" end="2420"> <sfx>piano music</sfx> <other>In a town called "Stink's Reach", no one's record is clean.</other> </line> <line start="2421" end="2437"> <sfx>piano music</sfx> <other>Tuesdays at 8:30</other> </line> <line start="2438" end="2444" speaker="sfx">static</line> <line start="2445" end="2468"> <other>We now return to Dartmouth!</other> <sfx>drumming</sfx> </line> <line start="2469" end="2500"> <sfx>bass picking and drumming</sfx> <other>Dartmouth! He's getting away!</other> </line> <line start="2501" end="2529"> <sfx>bass picking and drumming</sfx> <other>Stand clear, I know what to do.</other> </line> <line start="2530" end="2550"> <sfx>bass picking and drumming</sfx> <sfx>retching</sfx> <sfx>dart whizzes and hits the villain</sfx> </line> <line start="2551" end="2574"> <sfx>bass picking and drumming</sfx> <other>Ow! Pointy!</other> </line> <line start="2575" end="2636"> <sfx>bass picking and drumming</sfx> <strongbad><i>(mumbling)</i> Lost... Vikings... <i>(mumbling)</i></strongbad> </line> </transcript>