Tis True, Pom Pom, Tis True
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Tis True, Pom Pom, Tis True: An Unfinished Cartoon
Strong Bad wins a race and Homestar Runner is knocked for a loop! Done using TBC's old drawing style (circa The Luau.)
Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, Pom Pom, The Poopsmith, Marzipan, The Knight, The Hornblower, Strong Sad, Strong Mad, The Cheat, The King of Town, Mike Chapman
Transcript
{A piece of paper, bearing the title of the toon in an Olde English style font displays the title of the toon. Cut to a forest. Homestar Runner runs by on a path through the middle of it quickly with Strong Bad not far behind. The camera cuts first to a closeup of Strong Bad, then Homestar. Cutting to a first-person view of Homestar, we can see him cresting a hill with The King of Town's castle below. Cut to the castle itself, where a banner reading "the king of town's 100 MILE SUPERTHON FiNiSH" is displayed, and a crowd featuring Pom Pom, The Poopsmith, The Knight, Marzipan, The Hornblower, Strong Sad, and Strong Mad awaits eagerly. Cut back to Homestar}
'HOMESTAR RUNNER: {shouting behind him} Hey Strong Bad! I don't want to win this race because you haven't cheated even once! Way to go!
{cut to The Cheat standing behind a tree with a baseball bat, lauging to himself}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Oh I'm about to win th-
{As Homestar runs by, The Cheat nails him with the baseball bat, sending Homestar flying over Strong Bad's head}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: RAAAAACCCEEEE!
STRONG BAD: Whoa!
{Homestar hits the ground and tumbles for a while, finally sliding headfirst into a tree}
{Cut back to the castle. The King of Town is now among the crowd eating a ham. Strong Bad runs through the yellow tape of the finish line. The Hornblower blows a tune, and everyone walks away.}
STRONG BAD: Ohhh, come back you guys! It's kind of a big deal here, the first time I've ever beat Homestar Runner! Maybe someone should make a big deal out of it! AWWW, SOMEBODY MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT!
{The Cheat arrives, stands next to Strong Bad, and starts waving a pennant and making cheering noises. Strong Bad, in return, angrily kicks The Cheat into the moat. Cut to a black screen.}
MARZIPAN: {voiceover} Homestar... Homestar, can you hear me? Wake up!
{Cut to Homestar's head at the base of the tree. He's obviously very out of it}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Huh?
{Cut back, where we can see Pom Pom, Marzipan, Strong Sad, The KOT, and The Poopsmith surrounding Homestar}
ALL: Oh!
{Cut to a POV shot of Homestar looking at The KOT. His vision is out of focus.}
THE KING OF TOWN: {distant, with reverb} Are you OK there Homestar?
{Cut to Homestar. Homestar shakes his head, then looks at Marzipan, who appears to be now wearing a Princess' tiara and blue dress, though still unfocused}
MARZIPAN: What's wrong, Homestar? You're looking at me kind of funny.
{Cut back to Homestar}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: ...huh?
{Cut to POV shot of Homestar looking at Pom Pom, who appears now to be dressed as a friar. Pom Pom bubbles. Cut back to Homestar.}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Huh?
{Cut to POV shot of Homestar looking at Strong Sad and the Poopsmith. Strong Sad appears to be dressed up as a nun.}
STRONG SAD: Are you OK, my child?
{Cut back to Homestar, who suddenly stands up}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hold! Whilst thy banter is the freshest of any month-old fruit, I must away, you poppinjays! I'm off to find me lute! Forsooth!
{Homestar suddenly runs off toward the KOT's castle, with Pom Pom and Marzipan looking on}
MARZIPAN: {to Pom Pom} What the crap was that?
{Pom Pom shrugs. Cut to Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat walking through the forest. Strong Bad still looks dejected}
STRONG BAD: It wasn't supposed to BE like this, man. I don't understand. I mean, they were supposed to get all disappointed and Homestar would cry and you guys would put me on your shoulders and throw the melonade on me and everything.
{Strong Mad brightens up, and runs off}
STRONG BAD: You know, I mean this is like the defnining moment of my life. But if it doesn't matter to THEM-
{Strong Mad returns with a keg of melonade and throws it on Strong Bad, pinning him beneath it}
STRONG BAD: AUUUUGGGHHH! You moron! That's not what I meant! Owwww, I think you broke my clavicus... majorus.
{Homestar Runner suddenly runs by in the background, wearing a bard costume and lute}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} La dee la dee la dadeedadee la da la da la da...
STRONG BAD: What the crap?
{Cut to frontal shot of Marzipan (who appears to have no mouth) and Pom Pom walking through the forest. Cut to a clearing where Homestar is prancing about and still singing the same song he was before. Cut to a piece of paper, that text starts appearing on as Mike says it.}
MIKE: So then Marzipan likes Homestar cause he's all prancey now and everybody else hates him and they keep hitting him on the head really hard trying to get him to change back to normal and finally Marzipan says they're going to get married and that snaps him out of it and... uh... Homestar says she has a big butt. THE END.
Fun Facts
- This is the ONLY toon where the voice of Marzipan isn't supplied by Missy (it sounds like it's being supplied by... Mike)
- Strong Bad's quote about breaking his "clavicus majorus" would eventually find its home in unused emails
- The keg of Melonade is the same as the one from A Jumping Jacks Contest.
- Outside of Halloween or caper, this is the only time we see Homestar wear something other than his usual attire.
