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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 5.0. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="answer5.swf" width="550" height="400">
<!-- Marzipan's Greeting -->
<line start="19" end="42" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="voiceover">Hi, this is Marzipan.</line>
<line start="43" end="82" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="voiceover"><em>(singing)</em> Leave me a message, and I'll get right back to you.</line>
<line start="84" end="131" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="voiceover">Hey! Leave me a message, and I'll get right back to you.</line>
<line start="133" end="152" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="voiceover">Hey! Leave me a messa-</line>
<line start="153" end="161" sfx="yes">beep</line>
<!-- Message 6 -->
<line start="168" end="239" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">(slurring) Hey there Marzipan, it's Coach Z... Wheeeee!</line>
<line start="240" end="271">
<coachz voiceover="yes">Look at me, I'm Coach Z!</coachz>
<bubs volume="0.5" voiceover="yes">Hey, Coach! Tell her I said, "Hey!"</bubs>
<line start="272" end="282">
<coachz voiceover="yes">Look at me, I'm Coach Z!</coachz>
<bubs volume="0.5" voiceover="yes">No, no, just—Tell her I said, "Bananas!"</bubs>
<line start="283" end="310">
<coachz voiceover="yes">Oh, I'm now, I'm a poet, though. I apologize.</coachz>
<bubs volume="0.5" voiceover="yes">No, no, just—Tell her I said, "Bananas!"</bubs>
<line start="311" end="340">
<coachz voiceover="yes">Oh, I'm now, I'm a poet, though. I apologize.</coachz>
<bubs volume="0.5" voiceover="yes">Tell her I said, "A bluh-buncha bananas."</bubs>
<line start="341" end="350">
<coachz voiceover="yes">I-I-I'm over at Bubs's place.</coachz>
<bubs volume="0.5" voiceover="yes">Tell her I said, "A bluh-buncha bananas."</bubs>
<line start="351" end="359">
<coachz voiceover="yes">I-I-I'm over at Bubs's place.</coachz>
<line start="360" end="371">
<coachz voiceover="yes">I-I-I'm over at Bubs's place.</coachz>
<bubs volume="0.5" voiceover="yes" sfx="sfx">unintelligible</bubs>
<line start="372" end="410">
<coachz voiceover="yes">Uh, we're just hanging out here having a good time, you know.</coachz>
<bubs volume="0.5" voiceover="yes" sfx="sfx">unintelligible</bubs>
<line start="411" end="427">
<coachz voiceover="yes">Uh, we're just hanging out here having a good time, you know.</coachz>
<bubs volume="0.5" voiceover="yes"><em>(singing)</em> Good time plus twooooo!</bubs>
<line start="428" end="450">
<coachz voiceover="yes"><em>(singing) </em>Good times times 3... makes 1, 2, Coach Z!</coachz>
<bubs volume="0.5" voiceover="yes"><em>(singing)</em> Good time plus twooooo!</bubs>
<line start="451" end="497">
<coachz voiceover="yes"><em>(singing) </em>Good times times 3... makes 1, 2, Coach Z!</coachz>
<line start="498" end="528" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">See I told you I was a poet, now.</line>
<line start="529" end="629" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Uh, so anyways, like I say, we're just hanging out over here, having a great time, and I started thinking about you,</line>
<line start="630" end="731" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover"><em>(sniffs and sobs)</em> 'cause I always have such a great time with you, 'cause you're such... you're such a beautiful person, and you're just...</line>
<line start="732" end="810" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover"><em>(still sobbing)</em> You're so perfect, and, you know, I couldn't ask for more in a lady.</line>
<line start="811" end="894" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover"><em>(sniffs)</em> Oh, geez. I'm sorry. I... <em>(sniffs)</em> I gotta go.</line>
<line start="895" end="902" sfx="yes">beep</line>
<!-- Message 5 -->
<line start="907" end="975" speaker="homsar" voiceover="voiceover">DaAAahhh, hello, Marzypa-yun. It's Homsar!</line>
<line start="976" end="1088" speaker="homsar" voiceover="voiceover">Dahhh, I was just calling to thank you for the <em>flo</em>wers you sent me while I was in the hospital.</line>
<line start="1089" end="1179" speaker="homsar" voiceover="voiceover">Daahh, I'm feeling much better now, but I still can't feel my leeegs.</line>
<line start="1180" end="1213" speaker="homsar" voiceover="voiceover">Okay, bye-dee-bye.</line>
<line start="1214" end="1223" sfx="yes">beep</line>
<!-- Message 4 -->
<line start="1226" end="1274" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover"><em>(clears throat)</em> Cheerio, there, Mrs. Pan. </line>
<line start="1275" end="1376" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">This is Constable Anybody over here at the Royal Society for Total Dorks.</line>
<line start="1377" end="1439" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">We would like to welcome you to our pres-tee-gee-us society.</line>
<line start="1440" end="1490" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">In fact, we would make you freakin' president!</line>
<line start="1491" end="1588" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover"><em>(snickers and clears throat)</em> Yes, so, all you have to do is, uh, go to your window </line>
<line start="1589" end="1625" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And stick a couple of pencils up your nose, and </line>
<line start="1626" end="1680" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover"><em>(snickers)</em> Then you'll be the president!</line>
<line start="1681" end="1742" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover"><em>(more snickering)</em> Okay... cheers, 'cause I'm so British!</line>
<line start="1743" end="1752" sfx="yes">beep</line>
<!-- Message 3 -->
<line start="1757" end="1796" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Hey, there, Marzipan, it's Coach Z, uh...</line>
<line start="1797" end="1860" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">So Bubs tells me I gave you a call last night, uh, in the wee hours, there. </line>
<line start="1861" end="1915" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Um, I'm not too sure what I may have said, but I'd like to apologize... </line>
<line start="1916" end="1960" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Make kind of a blanket apology, cover the whole thing there,</line>
<line start="1961" end="2005" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Like one of them blankets you put on a fire, you know, when a,</line>
<line start="2006" end="2079" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">When you're burnin' leaves in the backyard and it gets out of hand and, you know, you gotta throw that blanket over there. </line>
<line start="2080" end="2125" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">That's what this apology is, here. So, uh... </line>
<line start="2126" end="2170" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Hope I didn't offend you or say anything out of turn, there.</line>
<line start="2171" end="2229" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Though I suppose you can't really say nothing out of turn on a machine, right?</line>
<line start="2230" end="2291" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">'Cause, you know, when's your turn on the answering machine, no-not till you call back.</line>
<line start="2292" end="2373" speaker="coachz" voiceover="voiceover">Okay, so now I'm just ramblin', but, uh... I <em>am</em> still a poet, and, uh... and don't I know it!</line>
<line start="2374" end="2383" sfx="yes">beep</line>
<!-- Message 2 -->
<line start="2393" end="2446" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Good evening Sir or Madam. My name is Homestar Runner.</line>
<line start="2447" end="2486" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">I represent Distinguished Businessman.</line>
<line start="2487" end="2538" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Are you getting the lowest rates from your long distance provider?</line>
<line start="2539" end="2590" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">I can give you rates as low as anybody. Seriously.</line>
<line start="2591" end="2619" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">I don't know what they <em>are</em>... </line>
<line start="2620" end="2648" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">But I probably could give them to you.</line>
<line start="2649" end="2716" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Um, here's one: BEEP. Haha, no, that was just me pressing the phone.</line>
<line start="2717" end="2763" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Okay, it wasn't even me pressing the phone, it was just me saying "BEEP." </line>
<line start="2764" end="2874" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Uhh, I can provide you with other stuff, too, like this pen on my desk <em>(whacks pen on desk)</em>, or, like, these post-its.</line>
<line start="2875" end="2921" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">This is great! Am I getting paid for this, really?</line>
<line start="2922" end="2961" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Um... <em>(singing)</em> doodly dee deeby deedly dee...</line>
<line start="2962" end="2971" sfx="yes">beep</line>
<!-- Message 1 -->
<line start="2979" end="3024" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, hey Marzipan, guess-who-this-is-it's Strong Sad.</line>
<line start="3025" end="3090" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">I was just calling 'cause I figured you wouldn't be home, and I'd never done that thing, you know,</line>
<line start="3091" end="3169" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Where you call somebody and you're leaving a message on their machine, and then, while you're leaving the message, </line>
<line start="3170" end="3246" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">They pick up the phone and it's like: "Oh, hey! Hi! I was just leaving you a message, and, how're you doing?"</line>
<line start="3247" end="3319" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">And so... see, I never had that happen to me, so I thought I'd just call you and talk... </line>
<line start="3320" end="3380" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Talk to your machine 'til you got home... so that's what I'm gonna do.</line>
<line start="3381" end="3493" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Hello? Hellooooo? Marzipan? Hello?</line>
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