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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for Marzipan's Answering Machine Version 6.0. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="answer6.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="19" end="73" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="voiceover">Hi, this is Marzipan. I'm sittin' in my dark room... thinkin'.</line>
  <line start="73" end="93" speaker="marzipan" voiceover="voiceover">Please leave me a message.</line>
  <line start="93" end="101" speaker="sfx">beep</line>
  <line start="104" end="169" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, yes. Hello, Marzipan. This is your doctor, Dr. Professional.</line>
  <line start="169" end="250" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">And I, uh, your results have come back from the lab, and I'm afraid I have some bad news.</line>
  <line start="250" end="297" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um, you've been diagnosed with serious problems.</line>
  <line start="297" end="378" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I mean, these are really serious, man... and, I only give you a couple of weeks, sadly.</line>
  <line start="378" end="419" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um, so it's hard to break this news to you, but if I were you,</line>
  <line start="419" end="473" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">I would start giving your stuff away to people, um, like,</line>
  <line start="473" end="542" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">maybe put your stereo out on the sidewalk right now, and then go back inside and-</line>
  <line start="542" end="603" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and look for some other stuff that, um, maybe I might- I mean, people might want to have.</line>
  <line start="603" end="637" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um, okay! Hope you had a good life.</line>
  <line start="637" end="647" speaker="sfx">beep</line>
  <line start="652" end="686" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Ooh! Hey, Marzipan, it's the King.</line>
  <line start="686" end="757" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Um, I wanted to talk to you because I've been noticing recently that I...</line>
  <line start="757" end="813" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">I'm not very cool, and, nobody really likes me.</line>
  <line start="813" end="902" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">Um, so I thought maybe you could give me some pointers, or put in a good word for me with the guys.</line>
  <line start="902" end="955" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">You know, I mean I like the same bands as you guys and...</line>
  <line start="955" end="986" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">or maybe you could- I could get them something</line>
  <line start="986" end="1042" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">like you could tell me what kind of video games they like or something, like...</line>
  <line start="1042" end="1102" speaker="kingoftown" voiceover="voiceover">I'm getting kind of desperate and lonely.. Okay, bye!</line>
  <line start="1102" end="1113" speaker="sfx">beep</line>
  <line start="1116" end="1140" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">Hey, Marzipan. This is Kevin.</line>
  <line start="1140" end="1172" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">Uh, we were just calling.. a bunch of us are over here...</line>
  <line start="1172" end="1214" speaker="other" voiceover="voiceover">just seeing what you were doing tonight. Um, give a call back. Alright.</line>
  <line start="1214" end="1225" speaker="sfx">beep</line>
  <line start="1228" end="1261" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Uh, hey Marzipan. This is Strong Bad.</line>
  <line start="1262" end="1358" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um, I was wondering if you could help me with a dilemma I have. Uh, I don't know what to get for my GIRLFRIEND for Valentine's Day.</line>
  <line start="1358" end="1420" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um, you know, my GIRLfriend.. who, uh, lives up in the other country,</line>
  <line start="1420" end="1454" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">um, that you've never met, and you'll probably never meet her.</line>
  <line start="1454" end="1489" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">But, uh, she's really REAL, you know...</line>
  <line start="1489" end="1561" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">so I'm trying to think of what to get her, like, chocolates or flowers or something, you know, REAL..</line>
  <line start="1561" end="1613" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">the type of thing that you give to a REAL person that exists.</line>
  <line start="1613" end="1640" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Um.. so, you know, any ideas you have,</line>
  <line start="1640" end="1709" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">'cause my girlfriend really likes presents from me, her real boyfriend.</line>
  <line start="1709" end="1742" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Uh... okay! Just gimme a call.</line>
  <line start="1742" end="1750" speaker="sfx">beep</line>
  <line start="1754" end="1784" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, hey, Marzipan! This is Homestar.</line>
  <line start="1784" end="1876" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Um, I was wondering if you could help me with a dilemma I'm having. I can't think of what to get my girlfriend for Valentine's Day.</line>
  <line start="1876" end="1945" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Um, she's kind of annoying, and overbearing, and kind of a big hippie.</line>
  <line start="1945" end="1985" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">So if you could... buh.. oh.</line>
  <line start="1985" end="2088" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Doo doo doo!! The number you have reached is not... your boyfriend calling you... uh... right now.</line>
  <line start="2088" end="2194" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Doooooo do do do do dooooooo this is the dial tone doooooooooooooo.</line>
  <line start="2194" end="2211" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">Okay, bye!</line>
  <line start="2211" end="2221" speaker="sfx">beep</line>
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