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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for Best Caper Ever. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="bestcaper.swf" width="550" height="400">
 <line start="48" end="78" speaker="homestar">Man, what should I do today?</line>
 <line start="79" end="99" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">deep breath</line>
 <line start="100" end="136" speaker="homestar">I just wonder what I should be doing today, you know?</line>
 <line start="137" end="198" speaker="homestar">I just can't seem to stop wondering what I maybe might could be should be doing today.</line>
 <line start="204" end="240" speaker="homestar">Man. <em>(echo)</em></line>
 <line start="241" end="253" speaker="homestar">Ooh, I know!</line>
 <line start="254" end="293" speaker="homestar">I can pretend one leg is shorter than the other again.</line>
 <line start="303" end="349" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx">mock sliding noises</line>
 <line start="350" end="375" speaker="homestar" volume="0.8">It doesn't touch.</line>
 <line start="400" end="423" speaker="sfx">TV static</line>
 <line start="424" end="464"><sfx>TV static</sfx><strongbad voiceover="voiceover">So you have, like, no idea how we pulled this off?</strongbad></line>
 <line start="465" end="477" speaker="thecheat">uncertain The Cheat noises</line>
 <line start="478" end="504" speaker="strongbad">All right, let's retrace our steps.</line>
 <line start="505" end="527" speaker="strongbad">We stole Homestar's melonade.</line>
 <line start="528" end="537" speaker="thecheat">affirmative The Cheat noises</line>
 <line start="538" end="561" speaker="strongbad">You made pee-pee in said melonade.</line>
 <line start="562" end="570" speaker="thecheat">embarrassed The Cheat noises</line>
 <line start="571" end="617" speaker="strongbad">And now he's on a tiny ice floe in the middle of the Arctic somehow.</line>
 <line start="618" end="628" speaker="thecheat">enthusiastic The Cheat noises</line>
 <line start="629" end="665" speaker="strongbad">I think we might be missing a couple key steps there.</line>
 <line start="666" end="676" speaker="thecheat">uncertain The Cheat noises</line>
 <line start="677" end="689" speaker="strongbad">Come on, man!</line>
 <line start="690" end="711" speaker="strongbad">This is like our best caper ever,</line>
 <line start="712" end="739" speaker="strongbad">and we don't even remember what we did!?</line>
 <line start="740" end="777" speaker="homestar">Okay. Bye, bloated sea lion carcass!</line>
 <line start="778" end="803" speaker="homestar">Thanks for stopping by!</line>
 <line start="804" end="867" speaker="homestar">Marzipan, we've got to have them over more often. They are a riot!</line>
 <line start="868" end="924" speaker="homestar" sfx="sfx" volume="0.9">grunting noises</line>
 <line start="925" end="956" speaker="homestar">Oh that is <em>it</em>, satellite phone!</line>
 <line start="957" end="990" speaker="homestar">You've poked me for the last time!</line>
 <line start="1002" end="1012" speaker="sfx">splash</line>
 <line start="1013" end="1033" speaker="homestar">You too, flare gun.</line>
 <line start="1034" end="1048" speaker="sfx">splash</line>
 <line start="1049" end="1071" speaker="strongbad">You're sure you don't remember, like,</line>
 <line start="1072" end="1110" speaker="strongbad">tricking Homestar into getting onto a cargo plane,</line>
 <line start="1111" end="1147" speaker="strongbad">or maybe bribing some walruses,</line>
 <line start="1148" end="1193" speaker="strongbad">or, like, experimenting with the folding of space-time?</line>
 <line start="1194" end="1208" speaker="thecheat">negative The Cheat noises</line>
 <line start="1209" end="1234" speaker="strongbad">So, the only thing we know for certain</line>
 <line start="1235" end="1263" speaker="strongbad">is that you made wee in Homestar's melonade-</line>
 <line start="1264" end="1270"><thecheat>affirmative The Cheat noises</thecheat><sfx>ding</sfx></line>
 <line start="1271" end="1296" speaker="strongbad">-and now he's stuck on the other side of the globe,</line>
 <line start="1297" end="1335" speaker="strongbad">of which we mysteriously have satellite coverage.</line>
 <line start="1336" end="1344" speaker="thecheat">affirmative The Cheat noises</line>
 <line start="1345" end="1378" speaker="strongbad">That's it, I'm taking you to the vet!</line>
 <line start="1379" end="1387" speaker="thecheat">scared The Cheat noises</line>
 <line start="1404" end="1471" speaker="homestar">All right. At this point, I'm willing to admit that maybe, just maybe,</line>
 <line start="1472" end="1509" speaker="homestar">this <em>isn't</em> Marzipan's new patio.</line>
 <line start="1510" end="1534" speaker="homestar">I should probably yell for help.</line>
 <line start="1535" end="1560" speaker="homestar" volume="1.5">Larry! <em>(echo)</em></line>
 <line start="1561" end="1603" speaker="homestar">Larry sounds like the kind of guy that can help me out of this jam!</line>
 <line start="1604" end="1640" speaker="homestar" volume="1.5">Larry! <em>(echo)</em></line>
 <line start="1641" end="1665" speaker="homestar">Homestar? <em>(echo)</em></line>
 <line start="1666" end="1702" speaker="strongsad">Oh, would you please keep it down?</line>
 <line start="1703" end="1721" speaker="homestar">Oh, great! Strong Sad!</line>
 <line start="1722" end="1739" speaker="homestar"><em>You're</em> a polar bear, right?</line>
 <line start="1740" end="1771" speaker="homestar">Use your frost breath to turn me into an ice cube,</line>
 <line start="1772" end="1801" speaker="homestar">so future generations can thaw me out</line>
 <line start="1802" end="1832" speaker="homestar">and marvel at my same length legs!</line>
 <line start="1833" end="1900" speaker="strongsad">Boy, did I pick the wrong hemisphere to aimlessly drift through this year...</line>
 <line start="1967" end="2003" speaker="bubs">And I'm gonna need you to fill this up.</line>
 <line start="2004" end="2034" speaker="strongbad">Whoa-ho-ho. Sorry, The Cheat.</line>
 <line start="2035" end="2067" speaker="bubs">I'm not looking at The Cheat!</line>
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