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Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for Sickly Sam's Big Outing. watch this toon
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="bigouting.swf" width="550" height="400">
<line start="7" end="26" speaker="announcer">Listen up, short children!</line>
<line start="27" end="69" speaker="announcer">It's the Fluffy Puff Air-Puffed Sugar Delights Presents The Homestar Runner Progrum!</line>
<line start="70" end="91" speaker="announcer">In a color!</line>
<line start="92" end="105" speaker="announcer">Featuring The Homestar Runner!</line>
<line start="106" end="115"><announcer>Featuring The Homestar Runner!</announcer><sfx>cheers</sfx></line>
<line start="116" end="144"><announcer>His best gal, Marzipan!</announcer><sfx>cheers</sfx></line>
<line start="145" end="166" speaker="announcer">Diseased orphan, Sickly Sam!</line>
<line start="167" end="180"><announcer>Diseased orphan, Sickly Sam!</announcer><sfx>gasps</sfx></line>
<line start="181" end="199" speaker="announcer">Dapper thousandaire, Strong Bad!</line>
<line start="200" end="222"><announcer>Dapper thousandaire, Strong Bad!</announcer><sfx>boos</sfx></line>
<line start="223" end="235"><announcer>And the rest!</announcer><other>Huh?</other></line>
<line start="236" end="280" speaker="announcer">Today's shenanigans: Sickly Sam's Big Outing!</line>
<!-- <line start="281" end="300" speaker="text">Based on the Vaudeville Stylings of Wibe Chimendez</line> -->
<line start="334" end="366" speaker="oldmarzipan">This must be skid row.</line>
<line start="380" end="396" speaker="oldmarzipan">This must be skid ro-</line>
<line start="397" end="471" speaker="thehomestar">Wake up, Sickly Sam. Today's the first day of the day of your big outing.</line>
<line start="472" end="489" speaker="oldmarzipan">Up and at 'em.</line>
<line start="490" end="516"><sicklysam sfx="sfx">cough cough</sicklysam><!-- <text>ASBESTOS</text> --></line>
<line start="517" end="545" speaker="oldmarzipan">You need some dentifrice!</line>
<line start="546" end="605" speaker="thehomestar">If you're supposed to go on a big outing, we need to find you up a hot date.</line>
<line start="606" end="647" speaker="sfx">dramatic music</line>
<line start="648" end="691" speaker="oldstrongbad">So, that dead kid needs a hot date, eh?</line>
<line start="692" end="733" speaker="oldstrongbad">The only date he has is with the glue factory!</line>
<line start="734" end="757"><oldstrongbad>The only date he has is with the glue factory!</oldstrongbad><sfx>musical sting</sfx></line>
<line start="758" end="779" speaker="oldstrongbad">Which I will sell him to!</line>
<line start="780" end="798"><oldstrongbad>Which I will sell him to!</oldstrongbad><sfx>musical sting</sfx></line>
<line start="799" end="817" speaker="oldstrongbad">For money!</line>
<line start="818" end="827"><oldstrongbad>For money!</oldstrongbad><sfx>musical sting</sfx></line>
<line start="828" end="831" speaker="sfx">splat</line>
<line start="846" end="883" speaker="thehomestar">First we gotta do something about that old 'tatoe sack.</line>
<line start="884" end="892" speaker="sfx">knock knock</line>
<line start="893" end="903" speaker="thehomestar">Uh oh, the doorbe-</line>
<line start="904" end="921" speaker="thehomestar">There's a knock at the door.</line>
<line start="922" end="980" speaker="thesneak">Whaaaaaaaaa telegraaam!</line>
<line start="981" end="1000" speaker="thehomestar">Thanks, The Sneak.</line>
<line start="1001" end="1013"><thehomestar>Boot!</thehomestar><sfx>crash</sfx></line>
<line start="1014" end="1022" speaker="thehomestar">This Honest Telegram says to meet your hot date down at the Boardwalk.</line>
<line start="1023" end="1069"><thehomestar>This Honest Telegram says to meet your hot date down at the Boardwalk.</thehomestar><!-- <text>HONEST TELEGRAM: Dearest Dead Kid (stop) Please meet for good times (stop) at the Boardwalk. (stop) -Hottessa Date</text> --></line>
<line start="1070" end="1088"><sicklysam>Am I gonna make romance?</sicklysam><!-- <text>HONEST TELEGRAM: Dearest Dead Kid (stop) Please meet for good times (stop) at the Boardwalk. (stop) -Hottessa Date</text> --></line>
<line start="1089" end="1115" speaker="sicklysam">Am I gonna make romance?</line>
<line start="1116" end="1168" speaker="thehomestar">Now let's get you dressed to the five and three-quarterses.</line>
<line start="1178" end="1229" speaker="sicklysam">I do believe you've spicked my span.</line>
<line start="1233" end="1241" speaker="other">Bleh!</line>
<line start="1242" end="1262" speaker="sfx">flap flap flap</line>
<line start="1274" end="1284" speaker="sfx">music</line>
<line start="1285" end="1329"><oldmarzipan>Come on, Jackson! Cut yourself a slice of rug!</oldmarzipan><sfx>music</sfx></line>
<line start="1330" end="1378"><oldmarzipan>Let's turn those skeleton knees into bees' knees!</oldmarzipan><sfx>music</sfx></line>
<line start="1379" end="1400" speaker="sfx">music</line>
<line start="1401" end="1416"><sfx>crumble</sfx><sfx>music</sfx></line>
<line start="1417" end="1433" speaker="sfx">music</line>
<line start="1434" end="1460"><sfx>crash</sfx><sfx>music</sfx></line>
<line start="1478" end="1528" speaker="thehomestar">Say there, Fort Wayne Locomotive, how's about a pep talk?</line>
<line start="1529" end="1596" speaker="thehomestar">Double-S here's about to go on his first date with a member of the opposite... persuasion.</line>
<line start="1597" end="1650" speaker="fortwayne">Well, I tell ya, Sickle Cell, when it comes to the ladies, you gotta turn and run the other way,</line>
<line start="1651" end="1689" speaker="fortwayne">like you're facin' the defense of the Sheboygan Booteaters!</line>
<line start="1690" end="1726" speaker="fortwayne">Dames is trouble! T-R-U-double-E-Bubble!</line>
<line start="1727" end="1748" speaker="fortwayne">Hut one, hut two, and a hike!</line>
<line start="1749" end="1787" speaker="fortwayne" sfx="sfx">gibberish</line>
<line start="1788" end="1812" speaker="sfx">pfffff!</line>
<line start="1847" end="1882" speaker="thehomestar">You're almost ready Sickly Sam.</line>
<line start="1883" end="1966" speaker="thehomestar">Last thing you need is a reaaaaaaaaaaal...</line>
<line start="1967" end="1986" speaker="thehomestar">...bouquet.</line>
<line start="1987" end="2009" speaker="oldbubs">Take a whiff.</line>
<line start="2010" end="2025" speaker="sicklysam" sfx="sfx">sniff</line>
<line start="2026" end="2044" speaker="sfx">crackling</line>
<line start="2045" end="2055" speaker="sfx">woosh</line>
<line start="2056" end="2069" speaker="sfx">scratch</line>
<line start="2104" end="2129"><thehomestar>Aaaaaah!</thehomestar><oldmarzipan>Aaaaaah!</oldmarzipan><oldstrongbad>Hahahahahahah!</oldstrongbad></line>
<line start="2130" end="2134" speaker="sfx">scratch</line>
<line start="2146" end="2181" speaker="sicklysam">I'm havin' a time.</line>
<line start="2197" end="2235" speaker="oldstrongbad">All right, boys! Remember the plan!</line>
<line start="2236" end="2270" speaker="oldstrongbad">Step One: give him the business!</line>
<line start="2271" end="2307" speaker="oldstrongbad">Step Two: cocktails in the parlor!</line>
<line start="2308" end="2339" speaker="oldstrongbad">We shan't get foiled again!</line>
<line start="2357" end="2377"><strongman>Raaaah!</strongman><sfx>splash-crash</sfx></line>
<line start="2389" end="2426" speaker="sicklysam">What a pleasant hole.</line>
<line start="2427" end="2490" speaker="sicklysam">I can't say enough good things about this hole.</line>
<line start="2527" end="2599" speaker="sfx">caw-caw-screech!</line>
<line start="2600" end="2612" speaker="sfx">splash</line>
<line start="2617" end="2648" speaker="oldstrongbad">Curses, you bone-legged boob!</line>
<line start="2649" end="2711" speaker="oldstrongbad">I'll pump you generously full of lead, shot at high velocity out of my pistola!</line>
<line start="2712" end="2771" speaker="oldstrongbad">So as to pierce the flesh! Or in your case, the burlap sack!</line>
<line start="2784" end="2836"><sicklysam>Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaah!</sicklysam><oldstrongbad>Rrrah! I can't believe I'm being eaten!</oldstrongbad></line>
<line start="2837" end="2854"><sicklysam>Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaah!</sicklysam><oldstrongbad>What a tragedy!</oldstrongbad></line>
<line start="2855" end="2897"><sicklysam>Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaah!</sicklysam><oldstrongbad>I was supposed to sell you to the glue factory and whatnot!</oldstrongbad></line>
<line start="2898" end="2935"><sicklysam>Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaah!</sicklysam><oldstrongbad>I can't believe I'm still being eaten!</oldstrongbad></line>
<line start="2936" end="2981"><sicklysam>Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaah!</sicklysam><oldstrongbad>This is taking so much longer than I expected!</oldstrongbad></line>
<line start="2982" end="2990" speaker="sicklysam" sfx="sfx">gulp</line>
<line start="2991" end="3084" speaker="sicklysam">This is the finest meal I've ever had in my extremely lo-o-ong life!</line>
<line start="3089" end="3137" speaker="oldstrongbad">Curses! All they've got in here is Parcheesi!</line>
<line start="3138" end="3221" speaker="oldstrongbad">Can't a gentle-man at least get a game of, say, pole-dagger, or Polynesian Roulette?</line>
<line start="3222" end="3269" speaker="oldstrongbad">What manner of uncivilized ribcage is this, anyways?</line>
<line start="3297" end="3358" speaker="sicklysam">I've finally found the love of a lifetime.</line>
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