Subtitles:hremail3184/en
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="hremail3184.swf" width="550" height="400"> <line start="28" end="152"><homestar volume="0.9"><em>(half-mumbling)</em> And that, Gordon Tiecollarondemous<!--?-->, is why I decided to <em>keep</em> calling you Gordon Tiecollarondemous...</homestar><sfx volume="0.9">music</sfx></line> <line start="153" end="162"><strongbad voiceover="yes">Aaah! I can't takes it no more!</strongbad><sfx>record scratch</sfx></line> <line start="163" end="180" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Aaah! I can't takes it no more!</line> <line start="181" end="202" speaker="strongbad">Somebody hand me a rake!</line> <line start="203" end="219"><strongbad>br-yah!</strongbad><homestar>Raaaake!</homestar><sfx>crash</sfx></line> <line start="220" end="238" speaker="strongbad">Somebody hand me a shovel!</line> <line start="239" end="256"><strongbad>br-yah!</strongbad><homestar>Shovel!</homestar><sfx>crash</sfx></line> <line start="257" end="278" speaker="strongbad">Somebody hand me a Garden Weasel!</line> <line start="279" end="290"><strongbad>br-yah!</strongbad><sfx>crash</sfx></line> <line start="291" end="312" speaker="homestar"><em>(calmly)</em> Aw, a Weasel.</line> <line start="313" end="320" speaker="strongbad">Phew.</line> <line start="324" end="338" speaker="strongbad">Thanks, Marzipan!</line> <line start="339" end="352" speaker="marzipan">Always happy to help!</line> <line start="362" end="370" speaker="sfx">geddup noise</line> <line start="371" end="438" speaker="strongbad">Sorry, Lappy. My triumphant return to checking emails calls for some fresh blood!</line> <line start="439" end="464" speaker="strongbad">Tech nerds, feast your eyes...<span style="visibility:hidden"> on <em>Steak Sandwich!</em></span></line> <line start="465" end="497"><strongbad>Tech nerds, feast your eyes... on <em>Steak Sandwich!</em></strongbad><sfx volume="0.7">fanfare</sfx></line> <line start="498" end="592" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">The Steaky Steaky 6 Millenium Edition is a processing wonder horse, capable of sauteed onions, grilled mushrooms,</line> <line start="593" end="631" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">and all right, never mind. This is just a steak sandwich, isn't it?</line> <line start="632" end="686" speaker="strongbad">You know, I guess I'm a little... out-of-practice with this stuff.</line> <line start="687" end="731" speaker="strongbad">All right, Lappy, you can stay alive for at least one more week.</line> <line start="732" end="742" speaker="sfx">computer noise</line> <line start="743" end="750" speaker="lappy486">Another<span style="visibility:hidden"> week with you,</span></line> <line start="751" end="753" speaker="lappy486">Another week<span style="visibility:hidden"> with you,</span></line> <line start="754" end="757" speaker="lappy486">Another week with<span style="visibility:hidden"> you,</span></line> <line start="758" end="764" speaker="lappy486">Another week with you,</line> <line start="765" end="768" speaker="lappy486">Strong<span style="visibility:hidden"> Bad,</span></line> <line start="769" end="775" speaker="lappy486">Strong Bad,</line> <line start="776" end="778" speaker="lappy486">is<span style="visibility:hidden"> like 8 dog-weeks</span></line> <line start="779" end="783" speaker="lappy486">is like<span style="visibility:hidden"> 8 dog-weeks</span></line> <line start="784" end="790" speaker="lappy486">is like 8<span style="visibility:hidden"> dog-weeks</span></line> <line start="791" end="795" speaker="lappy486">is like 8 dog<span style="visibility:hidden">-weeks</span></line> <line start="796" end="803" speaker="lappy486">is like 8 dog-weeks</line> <line start="804" end="809" speaker="lappy486">in<span style="visibility:hidden"> cat-years.</span></line> <line start="810" end="814" speaker="lappy486">in cat<span style="visibility:hidden">-years.</span></line> <line start="814" end="824" speaker="lappy486">in cat-years.</line> <line start="825" end="875" speaker="strongbad">Uh, are you sure you're not Senor Cardgage's computer?</line> <line start="876" end="889" speaker="cardgage" voiceover="yes">No...</line> <line start="890" end="960" speaker="cardgage">This steak samwich is Beverly <em>clearly</em> my compooter, Bathsheba.</line> <line start="961" end="1007" speaker="strongbad">Hey, Cardgage! D'you wanna help me come out of e-tirement?</line> <line start="1008" end="1040" speaker="cardgage">Ummmmm... no.</line> <line start="1048" end="1094" speaker="sfx" volume="0.8">traffic noises</line> <line start="1095" end="1123"><sfx volume="0.8">traffic noises</sfx><strongbad>I'm quite scared right now.</strongbad></line> <line start="1124" end="1143" speaker="strongbad">Let's start over.</line> <line start="1144" end="1224" speaker="strongbad">Oh, man, I haven't checked my email in so long, I bet there's gonna be a half-zillion<br />messages waiting for me!</line> <line start="1225" end="1238" speaker="sfx" volume="0.9">ding</line> <line start="1239" end="1296" speaker="strongbad">Oh. Well, a half-<em>four</em> messages waiting for me isn't bad.</line> <line start="1297" end="1336" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,"... <span style="font-size: small">Strong Bad... </span><span style="font-size: x-small">Strong Bad... </span><span style="font-size: xx-small">Strong Bad... </span></line> <line start="1337" end="1370" speaker="strongbad">"What was the coolest explosion you ever saw?</line> <line start="1371" end="1400" speaker="strongbad">"From, Kelly Oosa"</line> <line start="1401" end="1445" speaker="strongbad">Mmmm! An exotic lady from the far east!</line> <line start="1446" end="1474" speaker="strongbad">That's kind of a vague question don'tcha think?</line> <line start="1475" end="1490" speaker="strongbad">That's like me asking,</line> <line start="1491" end="1539" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Kelly, what's your favorite molecule of air that you've breathed?"</line> <line start="1540" end="1597" speaker="strongbad">Or... "What's your favorite Strong Bad muscle that you wanted to rub with hot oils?"</line> <line start="1598" end="1623" speaker="strongbad">You gotta narrow it down somehow.</line> <line start="1624" end="1708" speaker="strongbad">Like, do you wanna know about the coolest looking explosion I ever rigged up in Strong Sad's<br />org-ethnic breakfast pouch on a Tuesday?</line> <line start="1722" end="1772" speaker="strongbad"><em>(poorly acting)</em> Mmm. This cereal is sooooo cerealy.</line> <line start="1780" end="1785" speaker="sfx">ding</line> <line start="1792" end="1863" speaker="strongsad">Oh, child! I am gonna enjoy this saag paneer Pop-Tart with a vengeance!</line> <line start="1864" end="1905" speaker="strongsad">Then I've got to go stand around in this tuxedo with a ven—</line> <line start="1906" end="1912"><strongsad>OOOHHH!!</strongsad><sfx>boom</sfx></line> <line start="1913" end="1925"><span style="visibility:hidden"><strongsad>OOOHHH!!</strongsad></span><sfx>boom</sfx></line> <line start="1926" end="1946" speaker="strongbad">Waa-ha-ha-ha-ha!</line> <line start="1947" end="2045" speaker="strongbad">Or do you wanna know like, the coolest explosion I ever saw that had one of those blast-wavy Saturn rings around it<br />that've become so popular lately.<!-- he doesn't say it like a question, so it should be . in my opinion --></line> <line start="2046" end="2076" speaker="strongbad">'Cuz I've caused <em>plenty</em> of those.</line> <line start="2077" end="2135" speaker="strongbad">But the coolest part was actually later on, when I was telling Coach Z all about it.</line> <line start="2136" end="2184" speaker="strongbad">And so first, there was this little explosion, that was like, "Dooooooj!"</line> <line start="2185" end="2195" speaker="coachz">Ya don't say?</line> <line start="2196" end="2239" speaker="strongbad">And then secondary charges blew and it was like, "Ka-plssshhhhh!"</line> <line start="2240" end="2249" speaker="coachz">You say?</line> <line start="2250" end="2310" speaker="strongbad">And finally one of those blast-wavy Saturn rings that've become so popular lately shot out, and was like,</line> <line start="2311" end="2404" speaker="strongbad" volume="1.2">"PSSSSSSHHHHH!!!!"</line> <line start="2405" end="2431" speaker="coachz">Thanks for the great story, Strong Bad!</line> <line start="2432" end="2474" speaker="coachz">I was gonna hit the showers, but now I don't has<!--sic--> to!</line> <line start="2475" end="2482" speaker="strongbad">pssh</line> <line start="2483" end="2563" speaker="strongbad">Everybody knows that the more spit it takes to describe an explosion, the cooler said explosion was.</line> <line start="2564" end="2615" speaker="strongbad"><em>And</em> the cooler said explosion-talker-abouter is!</line> <line start="2616" end="2662" speaker="strongsad">And then my saag paneer Pop-Tart said a-like... "Ptoo."</line> <line start="2663" end="2713" speaker="coachz"><em>(angrily)</em> Are you kiddin' me? I can't even warsh my hands with that mess!</line> <line start="2714" end="2817" speaker="strongbad">But if history has taught us anything, then we all know that the coolest explosions have come from my very own computers.</line> <line start="2818" end="2879" speaker="sfx">various crackling, explosions, and screams</line> <line start="2880" end="2884" speaker="lappy486">But <span style="visibility:hidden">waimt<!--sic-->, Strong Bad, does that means?<!--sic--></span></line> <line start="2885" end="2895" speaker="lappy486">But waimt<!--sic-->, <span style="visibility:hidden">Strong Bad, does that means?<!--sic--></span></line> <line start="2895" end="2898" speaker="lappy486">But waimt<!--sic-->, Strong <span style="visibility:hidden">Bad, does that means?<!--sic--></span></line> <line start="2899" end="2905" speaker="lappy486">But waimt<!--sic-->, Strong Bad, <span style="visibility:hidden">does that means?<!--sic--></span></line> <line start="2905" end="2908" speaker="lappy486">But waimt<!--sic-->, Strong Bad, does <span style="visibility:hidden">that means?<!--sic--></span></line> <line start="2909" end="2911" speaker="lappy486">But waimt<!--sic-->, Strong Bad, does that <span style="visibility:hidden">means?<!--sic--></span></line> <line start="2912" end="2922" speaker="lappy486">But waimt<!--sic-->, Strong Bad, does that means?<!--sic--></line> <line start="2923" end="2945" speaker="strongbad">I'm afraid so, sweet Lappy.</line> <line start="2946" end="3003" speaker="strongbad">I figured that USB self-destruct button I bought a couple weeks ago woulda clued you in.</line> <line start="3004" end="3026" speaker="strongbad">But... it's time.</line> <line start="3027" end="3096" speaker="strongbad">Why wait around for someone else to blow up your computer tomorrow when you can blow it up yourself today?</line> <line start="3097" end="3100" speaker="lappy486">You <span style="visibility:hidden">should put that on your bwees-ness cards.</span></line> <line start="3101" end="3104" speaker="lappy486">You should <span style="visibility:hidden">put that on your bwees-ness cards.</span></line> <line start="3105" end="3107" speaker="lappy486">You should put <span style="visibility:hidden">that on your bwees-ness cards.</span></line> <line start="3108" end="3113" speaker="lappy486">You should put that <span style="visibility:hidden">on your bwees-ness cards.</span></line> <line start="3114" end="3120" speaker="lappy486">You should put that on <span style="visibility:hidden">your bwees-ness cards.</span></line> <line start="3121" end="3126" speaker="lappy486">You should put that on your <span style="visibility:hidden">bwees-ness cards.</span></line> <line start="3127" end="3132" speaker="lappy486">You should put that on your bwees<span style="visibility:hidden">-ness cards.</span></line> <line start="3133" end="3137" speaker="lappy486">You should put that on your bwees-ness <span style="visibility:hidden">cards.</span></line> <line start="3138" end="3147" speaker="lappy486">You should put that on your bwees-ness cards.</line> <line start="3148" end="3180" speaker="strongbad"><em>(mock-sadly)</em> That's a great idea, Lappy.</line> <line start="3181" end="3196" speaker="strongbad"><em>(mock-sadly)</em> Good bye.</line> <line start="3197" end="3204" speaker="strongbad"><em>(mock-sadly)</em> Dooj.</line> <line start="3205" end="3237" speaker="sfx" volume="1.5">explosion</line> <line start="3238" end="3265"><sfx volume="1.2">explosion</sfx><strongbad voiceover="yes">So popular lately.</strongbad></line> <line start="3266" end="3322"><sfx volume="1">explosion</sfx><bubs>Ooooooh! ... Awwwwww!</bubs><coachz>Oooooor! ... Awwwwwr!</coachz></line> <line start="3323" end="3365" speaker="coachz">I can't wait till Strong Bad tells me 'bout that one.</line> <line start="3366" end="3404" speaker="coachz">I'm'a go ahead and strip down to da nude!</line> <line start="3405" end="3416" speaker="bubs">Ponk!</line> <line start="3417" end="3436" speaker="strongbad">And now that—</line> <line start="3437" end="3449" speaker="homestar">Don't call it a comeback.</line> <line start="3450" end="3467" speaker="strongbad">—is what I call—</line> <line start="3468" end="3481" speaker="homestar">Don't call it a comeback.</line> <line start="3482" end="3490" speaker="strongbad">—a—</line> <line start="3491" end="3508" speaker="homestar">Don't call it a comeback!</line> <line start="3509" end="3521" speaker="strongbad">—comeback!</line> <line start="3522" end="3528" speaker="homestar" sfx="yes">annoyed sigh</line> <line start="3536" end="3602" speaker="strongbad">Uh, if a paper survived that, maybe come down... now?</line> <line start="3619" end="3649" speaker="strongbad">Oh. Looks like I need a new one of those, too.</line> <line start="3671" end="3693" speaker="strongsad">Well, you know, announcer man, that's right!</line> <line start="3694" end="3720" speaker="strongsad">All you gophers out there better listen up!</line> <line start="3721" end="3825" speaker="strongsad">Magnificent Marzipan stole all Garden Boy's garden tools, and I don't care if she's a women's champion, a men's champion,<br />a half woman-half man's champion...</line> <line start="3826" end="3849" speaker="strongsad">Uh, do we have one of those?</line> <line start="3850" end="3872" speaker="theannouncer">Uh, yes, I believe we do.</line> <line start="3873" end="3899" speaker="strongsad">Well, can I fight them instead?</line> </transcript>
