Subtitles:interview/en
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="interview.swf" width="550" height="400"> <line start="17" end="28"> <sfx>typing</sfx> </line> <line start="29" end="66"> <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">Truly there are few guys as stupid as Homestar Runner.</strongbad> </line> <line start="70" end="116"> <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">But I wanted to unravel all the idiotic ramblings and speech impediments, </strongbad> </line> <line start="117" end="165"> <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">and get down to the chewy caramel center of this no-armed whitey. </strongbad> </line> <line start="170" end="187"> <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">What I found was not pretty.</strongbad> </line> <line start="194" end="235"> <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">It was slimy and smelly and kinda stung my eyes.</strongbad> </line> <line start="256" end="311"> <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">So, Dumbstar has me meet him in this fruity little marshmallow stand he always goes to. </strongbad> </line> <line start="312" end="358"> <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">He kept me waiting for a good half hour and I actually watched him walk by the place </strongbad> </line> <line start="359" end="393"> <strongbad voiceover="voiceover">three or four times before he finally came in.</strongbad> </line> <line start="411" end="433"> <strongbad>What the crap were you doing out there?</strongbad> </line> <line start="434" end="445"> <homestar>Out where?</homestar> </line> <line start="446" end="457"> <strongbad>Outside!</strongbad> </line> <line start="458" end="488"> <strongbad>I watched you prance by, like, five times, man.</strongbad> </line> <line start="490" end="518"> <homestar>Oh, I doubt it. I drove.</homestar> </line> <line start="522" end="540"> <strongbad>You don't own a car!</strongbad> </line> <line start="544" end="574"> <homestar>Yeah, you're probably right.</homestar> </line> <line start="581" end="608"> <strongbad>Okay, let's get down to brass tacks.</strongbad> </line> <line start="611" end="648"> <homestar>Ohhh, I didn't bring any. I drove.</homestar> </line> <line start="651" end="683"> <strongbad>Augh, this is gonna be painful.</strongbad> </line> <line start="685" end="703"> <homestar>What, the tacks?</homestar> </line> <line start="704" end="716"> <homestar>I bet.</homestar> </line> <line start="718" end="733"> <homestar>Try not to sit on 'em.</homestar> </line> <line start="734" end="750"> <strongbad>No, stupid!</strongbad> </line> <line start="751" end="767"> <strongbad>This is an interview!</strongbad> </line> <line start="768" end="804"> <homestar>Oh, well allow me to introduce myself.</homestar> </line> <line start="805" end="867"> <homestar>My name is Homestar Runner, and I feel that I would be a great asset to your company.</homestar> </line> <line start="868" end="880"> <homestar>My name is Homestar Runner, and I feel that I would be a great asset to your company.</homestar> <strongbad>Okay, shut up.</strongbad> </line> <line start="881" end="895"> <strongbad>Now, first question:</strongbad> </line> <line start="896" end="915"> <strongbad>What's your freakin' problem?</strongbad> </line> <line start="916" end="945"> <homestar>Well if you take a look at my reh-zoom, </homestar> </line> <line start="946" end="1003"> <homestar>you'll see that I have quite a bit of experience in many different related fields.</homestar> </line> <line start="1008" end="1041"> <strongbad>Cut the crap! Just tell me what your freaking problem is!</strongbad> </line> <line start="1047" end="1070"> <homestar>I can't really think of any.</homestar> </line> <line start="1071" end="1100"> <strongbad>Ohhhh. Moving on.</strongbad> </line> <line start="1108" end="1155"> <strongbad>I've heard that you enjoy prancing around like an idiot. Is this true?</strongbad> </line> <line start="1164" end="1187"> <homestar volume="0.8"><em>(singing)</em> La-duh-dah-dee-duh-dah-dee-duh-dah-dee!</homestar> </line> <line start="1188" end="1216"> <strongbad>I suppose that answers my question.</strongbad> </line> <line start="1218" end="1262"> <strongbad>Now, tell us about your girlfriend Marzipan. What's her deal?</strongbad> </line> <line start="1263" end="1318"> <homestar>She told me today that she thinks your baking has really improved lately.</homestar> </line> <line start="1319" end="1338"> <strongbad>Oh, my baking, eh?</strongbad> </line> <line start="1339" end="1372"> <strongbad>I like to enjoy baking every once and again.</strongbad> </line> <line start="1373" end="1387"> <homestar>Interesting.</homestar> </line> <line start="1388" end="1406"> <homestar>I'll take note of that.</homestar> </line> <line start="1408" end="1442"> <homestar>So, what else do you do in your spare time?</homestar> </line> <line start="1446" end="1479"> <strongbad>Well, I like to do the Jumble sometimes and—</strongbad> </line> <line start="1480" end="1492"> <strongbad>Hey, wait!</strongbad> </line> <line start="1493" end="1515"> <strongbad>I'm asking the questions here!</strongbad> </line> <line start="1517" end="1546"> <strongbad>So, who do you think would win in a fight:</strongbad> </line> <line start="1547" end="1579"> <strongbad>Strong Sad or The Cheat?</strongbad> </line> <line start="1584" end="1619"> <homestar>Oh, man. That's not even fair.</homestar> </line> <line start="1622" end="1662"> <homestar voiceover="voiceover">The Cheat would win with both hands duct-taped behind his back,</homestar> </line> <line start="1663" end="1697"> <homestar voiceover="voiceover">and with little pieces of duct tape covering his eyes,</homestar> </line> <line start="1698" end="1735"> <homestar voiceover="voiceover">and Strong Sad could have a spear even.</homestar> </line> <line start="1773" end="1793"> <strongsad>En garde?</strongsad> </line> <line start="1794" end="1819"> <strongbad>Whoa-ho-ho! Good answer.</strongbad> </line> <line start="1821" end="1844"> <strongbad>We might have to set that up someday.</strongbad> </line> <line start="1845" end="1857"> <homestar>Yeah,<span style="visibility:hidden;"> yeah, that'd be great.</span></homestar> </line> <line start="1858" end="1870"> <homestar>Yeah, yeah,<span style="visibility:hidden;"> that'd be great.</span></homestar> </line> <line start="1871" end="1887"> <homestar>Yeah, yeah, that'd be great.</homestar> </line> <line start="1888" end="1923"> <strongbad>Well, it can only go down from here, so...</strongbad> </line> <line start="1924" end="1940"> <strongbad>get out of my face.</strongbad> </line> <line start="1942" end="1981"> <homestar volume="0.8"><em>(singing)</em> La-dee-la-da-da-da-da-da-da-doo-doo...</homestar> </line> </transcript>
