Subtitles:sbemail180/en
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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> <transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail180.swf" width="550" height="400"> <line start="15" end="80" speaker="strongbad">Gary... I hope this email's from Gary...</line> <line start="81" end="97" speaker="strongbad">Hah! Aw...</line> <line start="98" end="110" speaker="strongbad">"Dear Strong Bad,</line> <line start="111" end="160" speaker="strongbad">"I attended a slumber party and there was nothing but a lame game of Uno.</line> <line start="161" end="215" speaker="strongbad">"I ask you, what types of slumber parties should one attend or ignore?</line> <line start="216" end="256" speaker="strongbad">"Sincerely, Thomas O. from en-why".</line> <line start="257" end="352" speaker="strongbad">So it was just you and Uno? Like, no other people or sleeping bags or R-rated movies?</line> <line start="353" end="440" speaker="strongbad">Uh, you probably shoulda skipped that one. Family card games are notorious for hosting the worst slumber parties.</line> <line start="474" end="519" speaker="strongbad">Thanks for inviting me, Skip-Bo.</line> <line start="524" end="587" speaker="strongbad">But let's say you get invited to a slumber party by a carbon-based lifeform.</line> <line start="588" end="637" speaker="strongbad">The first thing you wanna look at is the popularity of the host.</line> <line start="638" end="735" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">According to Coolguy's Law, the popularity of the host is inversely proportional to the amount of fun you can have at their house.</line> <line start="736" end="854" speaker="strongbad">You got nothing to lose! You can tear that place apart and dislocate all the younger siblings' shoulders you want. It's not like you're ever going back there again.</line> <line start="855" end="903" speaker="homestar">What did you say the name of this family card game was again, Strong Bad?</line> <line start="904" end="953" speaker="strongbad">This is called Find The Load-Bearer. You never played this before?</line> <line start="954" end="993" speaker="homestar">No. Find The Load-Bearer, Bed Axe,</line> <line start="994" end="1020" speaker="homestar" voiceover="voiceover">I never heard of any of these games we're playing.</line> <line start="1021" end="1038" speaker="sfx">whack!</line> <line start="1039" end="1107" speaker="strongbad">Unpopular kids' dads definitely still play video games, so try and locate his stash</line> <line start="1108" end="1138" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">of Rated M for Mature titles.</line> <line start="1139" end="1161" speaker="strongbad">Whoa! Jackpot!</line> <line start="1162" end="1174" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Blood Bleeder,</line> <line start="1175" end="1195" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Head Chopper 2,</line> <line start="1196" end="1212" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Scab Wars,</line> <line start="1213" end="1229" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Blistergeist?</line> <line start="1230" end="1260" speaker="strongbad">Most of these things have been taken off the market!</line> <line start="1261" end="1313" speaker="homestar">Oh. Those are off-limits. We're only allowed to play Clapping Party.</line> <line start="1314" end="1346" speaker="sfx">clap! clap! clap!</line> <line start="1347" end="1370"><sfx>music</sfx></line> <line start="1371" end="1389" speaker="sfx">claps</line> <line start="1390" end="1445" speaker="strongbad">The next thing to consider when going to a slumber party is the menu.</line> <line start="1446" end="1478" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Typical slumber party fare includes things like,</line> <line start="1479" end="1499" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">six-foot party sub,</line> <line start="1500" end="1530" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">an exorbitant amount of pizza,</line> <line start="1531" end="1595" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">and at least enough Skittles and red cream soda to make your spit hurt.</line> <line start="1596" end="1660" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="this_is">But if you get over there, and they're, like, having a meal at a table, and they're serving, like...</line> <line start="1661" end="1680" speaker="strongbad">Chicken... <span style="visibility:hidden">in a pan?</span></line> <line start="1681" end="1689" speaker="strongbad">Chicken... in a <span style="visibility:hidden">pan?</span></line> <line start="1690" end="1703" speaker="strongbad">Chicken... in a pan?</line> <line start="1704" end="1721" speaker="strongbad">With some... <span style="visibility:hidden">salad...</span></line> <line start="1722" end="1739" speaker="strongbad">With some... salad...</line> <line start="1740" end="1749" speaker="strongbad">and a... <span style="visibility:hidden">glass of milk? To drink?</span></line> <line start="1750" end="1775" speaker="strongbad">and a... glass of milk? <span style="visibility:hidden">To drink?</span></line> <line start="1776" end="1790" speaker="strongbad">and a... glass of milk? To drink?</line> <line start="1791" end="1861" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">You better start running! Because that family must have some serious health problems.</line> <line start="1878" end="1987" speaker="strongbad">But if you're looking for a guaranteed good time, you need to get invited to an OLDER KID'S slumber party. Anything goes at those things!</line> <line start="1988" end="2027" speaker="bubs">My cousin Louis, he's dead. My cousin Harold, he's dead.</line> <line start="2028" end="2056"><bubs>My cousin Louis, he's dead. My cousin Harold, he's dead.</bubs><coachz>And my back still hurts. And my knees still hurt. And my head still hurts.</coachz></line> <line start="2057" end="2092"><bubs>My cousin Louis, he's dead. My cousin Harold, he's dead.</bubs><coachz>And my back still hurts. And my knees still hurt. And my head still hurts.</coachz><kingoftown>Government ain't right! Government ain't right!</kingoftown></line> <line start="2093" end="2162" speaker="bubs">So my escrow carried over into my lumbago, but then my sciatica started acting up.</line> <line start="2163" end="2234" speaker="strongbad">Uh, can you guys start using some words that were invented after the year nineteen-oh-zero?</line> <line start="2235" end="2311" speaker="kingoftown">Come now, young whipper-snapper. My fellows and I were just about to start playing at games of chance.</line> <line start="2312" end="2357" speaker="strongbad">Lemme guess. That doesn't include Bed Axe.</line> <line start="2358" end="2416" speaker="strongbad">Uh, you might wanna put a cap on what you define as "older kids."</line> <line start="2417" end="2502" speaker="strongbad">Other than that, you can always look forward to endlessly ridiculing the kid that got picked up early 'cause he misses his mom.</line> <line start="2503" end="2548" speaker="strongbad">Strong Sad used to do that when we'd have slumber parties in our own basement!</line> <line start="2549" end="2573" speaker="strongsad">That only happened once!</line> <line start="2574" end="2590" speaker="strongbad">Uh-huh...</line> <line start="2591" end="2605" speaker="strongsad">A week...</line> <line start="2606" end="2621" speaker="strongbad">Keep going.</line> <line start="2622" end="2647" speaker="strongsad">For ten years...</line> <line start="2648" end="2664" speaker="strongbad">There you go!</line> <line start="2665" end="2793" speaker="strongbad">Oh, and one more thing: If your jim-jams happen to be a, oh, I dunno, long V-neck undershirt with a pair of questionable tighty-whities underneath,</line> <line start="2794" end="2825" speaker="strongbad">maybe don't wear those to the slumber party.</line> <line start="2826" end="2848" speaker="strongbad">Don't ask me how I know this.</line> <line start="2849" end="2902" speaker="strongbad">Please, PLEASE, DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS.</line> <line start="2903" end="2919" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">How do you know that?</line> <line start="2920" end="2970" speaker="strongbad">Oh, that's it! Allow me to relieve you of that located shoulder!</line> <line start="2971" end="2976" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="voiceover">Yah!</line> <line start="2977" end="2999" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover" sfx="sfx">screams</line> <line start="3000" end="3031" speaker="newpaper">shuffling noises</line> <line start="3041" end="3082" speaker="homestar">Party! Slumber party!</line> <line start="3083" end="3132" speaker="homestar">Listen to some Sade at my slumber party!</line> <line start="3134" end="3135"><!-- Clapping Party Press Here to Clap --></line> <line start="3147" end="3160" speaker="sfx">clap!</line> <line start="3168" end="3181" speaker="sfx">clap!</line> <line start="3189" end="3201" speaker="sfx">clap!</line> <line start="3202" end="3225"><!-- Round clear!! --><sfx>music</sfx></line> <line start="3226" end="3238" speaker="sfx">claps</line> <line start="3257" end="3269" speaker="sfx">clap!</line> <line start="3278" end="3290" speaker="sfx">clap!</line> <line start="3299" end="3314" speaker="sfx">clap!</line> <line start="3315" end="3347"><!-- You Unlocked Blistergeist Mode!!! --><sfx>music</sfx></line> <line start="3360" end="3380" speaker="sfx">chainsaw sounds</line> <line start="3381" end="3407"><sfx>chainsaw sounds</sfx><sfx>squish! slash!</sfx></line> </transcript>
