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<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="sbemail198.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="16" end="70" speaker="strongbad"><em>(singing)</em> I'm gonna check my uhngh, and then I'll check my uhngh, and then we'll turn it out.</line>
  <line start="83" end="88" speaker="strongbad">"Hey,</line>
  <line start="101" end="132" speaker="strongbad">"I am a girl from Sweden and like magic.</line>
  <line start="133" end="157" speaker="strongbad">"Could you do a magic trick?</line>
  <line start="158" end="194" speaker="strongbad">"I would be so happy, and maybe visit some day.</line>
  <line start="195" end="223" speaker="strongbad">"Her are a tips to you:</line>
  <line start="224" end="247" speaker="strongbad">"Take homestar runner in a box"</line>
  <line start="248" end="260" speaker="strongbad">Okay</line>
  <line start="261" end="274" speaker="strongbad">"and take a saw"</line>
  <line start="275" end="287" speaker="strongbad">Yes, yes!</line>
  <line start="288" end="327" speaker="strongbad">"and saw him! From Agnes in Sweden!?"</line>
  <line start="328" end="341" speaker="strongbad">You're a girl.<span style="visibility:hidden"> From Sweden. And you want me to take a saw to Homestar Runner.</span></line>
  <line start="342" end="355" speaker="strongbad">You're a girl. From Sweden.<span style="visibility:hidden"> And you want me to take a saw to Homestar Runner.</span></line>
  <line start="356" end="392" speaker="strongbad">You're a girl. From Sweden. And you want me to take a saw to Homestar Runner.</line>
  <line start="393" end="433" speaker="strongbad">Um, I think we might need to get married, Agnes.</line>
  <line start="440" end="475" speaker="strongbad">Of course I can do a magic trick, babehoney.</line>
  <line start="476" end="503" speaker="strongbad">But what kind should it be, honbaby?</line>
  <line start="504" end="554" speaker="strongbad">Are we talking about, like, community center talent show type magic?</line>
  <line start="555" end="568" speaker="strongbad">You know, the kind with</line>
  <line start="569" end="590" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">cups and balls,</line>
  <line start="591" end="623" speaker="strongbad">or those jangly metal rings where the guy's like</line>
  <line start="624" end="635" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">"Jingle jangle!</line>
  <line start="636" end="670" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">"And now they're <em>separate</em> rings!"</line>
  <line start="671" end="714" speaker="strongbad">Ooh, and don't forget the ubiquitous live woodland creature</line>
  <line start="715" end="763" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">cleverly smooshed into the lining of one's jacket or pants!</line>
  <line start="764" end="803" speaker="strongbad">But nothing says low-grade magic substitute like</line>
  <line start="804" end="837" speaker="strongbad">The mystical Cone of Newspaper!</line>
  <line start="838" end="846" speaker="other" voiceover="yes" sfx="sfx">crowd gasps</line>
  <line start="847" end="921" speaker="strongbad">Now watch carefully as I pour this full glass of white milk into this cone of newspaper!</line>
  <line start="949" end="984"><strongbad>Huh? Huh? Err...</strongbad><sfx>crickets chirp</sfx></line>
  <line start="985" end="1022"><strongbad>Uh... Does anyone remember what this trick is supposed to do?</strongbad><sfx>crickets chirp</sfx></line>
  <line start="1023" end="1046"><span style="visibility:hidden"><strongbad>Uh... Does anyone remember what this trick is supposed to do?</strongbad></span><sfx>crickets chirp</sfx></line>
  <line start="1047" end="1051"><thecheat>The Cheat noises</thecheat><sfx>crickets chirp</sfx></line>
  <line start="1058" end="1093" speaker="strongbad">Or I could go a few steps up from that amateur stuff,</line>
  <line start="1094" end="1141" speaker="strongbad">to the guys that are willing to blow their life savings in the name of magic!</line>
  <line start="1142" end="1163" speaker="strongbad">Or as I like to call them... <span style="visibility:hidden">moneygicians!</span></line>
  <line start="1164" end="1185" speaker="strongbad">Or as I like to call them... moneygicians!</line>
  <line start="1186" end="1201" speaker="strongbad">That's right, folks!</line>
  <line start="1202" end="1226" speaker="strongbad">Gazemaze in gazemazement,</line>
  <line start="1227" end="1300" speaker="strongbad">as I totally ordered Magic Novelties and Amusement Catalogue Item Number 1407B,</line>
  <line start="1301" end="1344" speaker="strongbad">assembled it, read the instructions on how to use it!</line>
  <line start="1345" end="1369" speaker="strongbad">And <em>you</em> didn't!</line>
  <line start="1378" end="1392" speaker="homestar">Hate to burst your bubble, man.</line>
  <line start="1403" end="1457" speaker="strongbad">There's also the subcategory of flowy-sleeved moneygicians.</line>
  <line start="1458" end="1489" speaker="strongbad">These are the guys with really hot assistants,</line>
  <line start="1490" end="1544" speaker="strongbad">really high production values, and really not a lot of magic.</line>
  <line start="1545" end="1598" speaker="strongbad">They might as well just spend their money paying the audience to believe they did magic,</line>
  <line start="1599" end="1627" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">instead of putting on a big, pointless show.</line>
  <line start="1632" end="1645" speaker="strongbad">Here's a thousand bucks.</line>
  <line start="1646" end="1662" speaker="strongbad">I made this building disappear.</line>
  <line start="1669" end="1684" speaker="bubs">That's gazemazing!</line>
  <line start="1693" end="1730" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">Or I could go with the recent trend of street magic,</line>
  <line start="1731" end="1793" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">which usually just descends into dudes doing stupid crap to themselves in public.</line>
  <line start="1794" end="1815" speaker="strongbad">For six straight days,<span style="visibility:hidden"> I will not drink, I will not blink, I will not think!</span></line>
  <line start="1816" end="1832" speaker="strongbad">For six straight days, I will not drink,<span style="visibility:hidden"> I will not blink, I will not think!</span></line>
  <line start="1833" end="1848" speaker="strongbad">For six straight days, I will not drink, I will not blink,<span style="visibility:hidden"> I will not think!</span></line>
  <line start="1849" end="1865" speaker="strongbad">For six straight days, I will not drink, I will not blink, I will not think!</line>
  <line start="1866" end="1954" speaker="strongbad">And I definitely will not do any magic while standing on top of Bubs' Concession Stand!</line>
  <line start="1955" end="1964" speaker="homestar">What magic!</line>
  <line start="1974" end="2012" speaker="strongbad">But forget about the different kinds of magic tricks.</line>
  <line start="2013" end="2049" speaker="strongbad">I think it's time to take Homestar Runner in a box.</line>
  <line start="2050" end="2068" speaker="strongbad">And take a saw.</line>
  <line start="2069" end="2085" speaker="strongbad">And saw him.</line>
  <line start="2086" end="2117" speaker="strongbad">Now, we've never met before, have we, sir?</line>
  <line start="2118" end="2157" speaker="homestar">No, good buddy Strong Bad. We have never met.</line>
  <line start="2158" end="2191" speaker="strongbad">You look like a man of many arms.</line>
  <line start="2192" end="2216" speaker="homestar">Yeah, I'm like an octopus.</line>
  <line start="2217" end="2229" speaker="strongbad" voiceover="yes">All right then,</line>
  <line start="2230" end="2266" speaker="strongbad">hold still... this might hurt a lot-tle!</line>
  <line start="2267" end="2278" speaker="sfx">popping and falling sounds</line>
  <line start="2287" end="2289" speaker="homestar">Oops.</line>
  <line start="2290" end="2292"><homestar>Oops.</homestar><coachz>That saw didn't even touch him!</coachz></line>
  <line start="2293" end="2312"><span style="visibility:hidden"><homestar>Oops.</homestar></span><coachz>That saw didn't even touch him!</coachz></line>
  <line start="2313" end="2331" speaker="coachz">He's pure evil!</line>
  <line start="2332" end="2354" speaker="strongbad">Well, sweet wife Agnes,</line>
  <line start="2355" end="2381" speaker="strongbad">that didn't turn out <em>exactly</em> as I hoped.</line>
  <line start="2382" end="2421" speaker="strongbad">But now, not only does Coach Z think I'm a good magician,</line>
  <line start="2422" end="2460" speaker="strongbad">he also thinks I'm a class 3 dark wizard!</line>
  <line start="2461" end="2485" speaker="strongbad">Oh, and one more thing, Agnes...</line>
  <line start="2492" end="2518" speaker="strongbad">Was <em>this</em> your card?</line>
  <line start="2519" end="2534" speaker="other" voiceover="yes" sfx="sfx">crowd gasps</line>
  <line start="2535" end="2561" speaker="newpaper">shuffling noises</line>
  <line start="2572" end="2620" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="yes">Wait, Strong Bad, you left out an important kind of magic!</line>
  <line start="2621" end="2628" speaker="strongbad">What?</line>
  <line start="2629" end="2677" speaker="strongsad">The magic of il-l-l-l-l-lusion.</line>
  <line start="2678" end="2721" speaker="strongbad">Ugh, I hope to high Heaven that outfit is an illusion!</line>
  <line start="2730" end="2742" speaker="sfx">shattering noise</line>
  <line start="2743" end="2769" speaker="strongsad">Il-l-l-l-l-lusion!</line>
  <line start="2770" end="2773" speaker="strongbad">Wah!</line>
  <line start="2787" end="2830" speaker="coachz">How can I defeat him, o' my master?</line>
  <line start="2834" end="2881" speaker="dndgreg">First you'll have to procure some root of mandrake powder.</line>
  <line start="2882" end="2916" speaker="coachz">Ooh!  I should have plenty o' that layin' around!</line>
  <line start="2917" end="2965" speaker="coachz">That's what I use to defeat the dark fungus from downungus!</line>
  <line start="2982" end="3041" speaker="dndgreg">I'm gonna have to ask you to leave my parent's basement now.</line>
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