From Homestar Runner Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search
Subtitles logo These are the English subtitles for Doomy Tales of the Macabre. watch this toon
To watch the toon with subtitles, we recommend that you install either the All-In-One Greasemonkey script for Firefox or the Homestar All-In-One extension for Chrome.
It will give you the option to automatically display subtitles when you view toons on and those mirrored locally. Alternatively, you may use our local viewer.

en  de  he  es  fr  nl  fi  pl  pt-br  tr

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<transcript xml:lang="en-us" file="ween09.swf" width="550" height="400">
  <line start="21" end="22" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">O<span style="visibility:hidden">ne chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="22" end="23" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">On<span style="visibility:hidden">e chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="23" end="25" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One<span style="visibility:hidden"> chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="25" end="26" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One c<span style="visibility:hidden">hillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="26" end="27" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One ch<span style="visibility:hidden">illèd Hallow's Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="27" end="28" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chi<span style="visibility:hidden">llèd Hallow's Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="28" end="29" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chill<span style="visibility:hidden">èd Hallow's Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="30" end="32" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd<span style="visibility:hidden"> Hallow's Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="32" end="34" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd H<span style="visibility:hidden">allow's Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="34" end="35" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Ha<span style="visibility:hidden">llow's Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="35" end="36" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hall<span style="visibility:hidden">ow's Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="36" end="37" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallo<span style="visibility:hidden">w's Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="37" end="38" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow'<span style="visibility:hidden">s Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="38" end="40" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's<span style="visibility:hidden"> Eve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="40" end="41" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's E<span style="visibility:hidden">ve I rose</span></line>
  <line start="41" end="42" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Ev<span style="visibility:hidden">e I rose</span></line>
  <line start="42" end="44" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve<span style="visibility:hidden"> I rose</span></line>
  <line start="44" end="45" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I<span style="visibility:hidden"> rose</span></line>
  <line start="45" end="46" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I r<span style="visibility:hidden">ose</span></line>
  <line start="46" end="47" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I ro<span style="visibility:hidden">se</span></line>
  <line start="47" end="48" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I ros<span style="visibility:hidden">e</span></line>
  <line start="48" end="50" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">One chillèd Hallow's Eve I rose</line>
  <line start="50" end="86" speaker="strongsad">and sat right down to writing.</line>
  <line start="86" end="124" speaker="strongsad">For none had bothered to propose,</line>
  <line start="124" end="136" speaker="strongsad">to their parties, my inviting.</line>
  <line start="136" end="143">
    <strongsad>to their parties, my inviting.</strongsad>
  <line start="143" end="152" speaker="strongsad">to their parties, my inviting.</line>
  <line start="156" end="197" speaker="strongsad">So I crafted such a macabre tale</line>
  <line start="197" end="229" speaker="strongsad">there in my darkened room</line>
  <line start="229" end="258" speaker="strongsad">To achieve literary justice,</line>
  <line start="258" end="280" speaker="strongsad">and send each <span style="visibility:hidden">to their DOOOOM!</span></line>
  <line start="280" end="300" speaker="strongsad">and send each to their DOOOOM!</line>
  <line start="433" end="470" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">We start with the most expendable.</line>
  <line start="470" end="498" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Grrrreetings, King of Town!</line>
  <line start="498" end="512" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">For this glutton, <span style="visibility:hidden">a stew of mutton</span></line>
  <line start="512" end="531" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">For this glutton, a stew of mutton</line>
  <line start="531" end="560" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">in which to slowly drown!</line>
  <line start="560" end="595" speaker="kingoftown">I thought these were tales of the McArby!</line>
  <line start="595" end="660" speaker="kingoftown">the mythical fast-food crossover sandwich of legend!</line>
  <line start="679" end="720" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">What's this? The fair maid Marzipan</line>
  <line start="720" end="756" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">considering a brand new man?</line>
  <line start="756" end="790" speaker="homestar">Marzipan! Have you seen my toenail clippings?</line>
  <line start="790" end="817" speaker="homestar">I left them right on top of your toothbrush.</line>
  <line start="820" end="851" speaker="marzipan">Crystal, crystal, on the ball,</line>
  <line start="851" end="873" speaker="marzipan">I need a better boyfriend, y'all! </line>
  <line start="873" end="910" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">But the gypsy forces she invoked</line>
  <line start="910" end="943" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">decided they would play a joke!</line>
  <line start="946" end="972" speaker="homestar">AaaaaaaaAAAAAAA<span style="visibility:hidden">AAAAARRAOOOOOORR!</span></line>
  <line start="972" end="997" speaker="coachz">AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAARRAOOOOOORR!</line>
  <line start="1000" end="1095" speaker="coachz">Hey there, my little love jorb! These bunions, corns, and calluses aren't gonna pumice themselves! </line>
  <line start="1096" end="1115" speaker="marzipan">Nuuuuuuu... <span style="visibility:hidden">Oh, wait, what's that say? </span></line>
  <line start="1116" end="1131" speaker="marzipan">Nuuuuuuu... Oh, wait, what's that say?</line>
  <line start="1136" end="1158" speaker="marzipan">Nooooooooo!</line>
  <line start="1160" end="1187" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">And now we join a man obs—</line>
  <line start="1188" end="1211" speaker="coachz">Hey, what abrat my doom?</line>
  <line start="1212" end="1274" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Um, you're already Coach Z. No sense in beating a dead horse.</line>
  <line start="1277" end="1289" speaker="coachz">Hey, good point!</line>
  <line start="1306" end="1371" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">And now we join a man obsessed with sales and liquidation,</line>
  <line start="1372" end="1434" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">dabbling with fiendish tests and genetic experimentation.</line>
  <line start="1436" end="1471" speaker="bubs">I'll just take this piece of brain from my wig...</line>
  <line start="1481" end="1538" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">But you all know how these things go, with unnatural creations.</line>
  <line start="1542" end="1555">
<strongsad voiceover="voiceover">A puff of smoke! <span style="visibility:hidden">A greenish glow! Voila! Horrible abomination!</span></strongsad>
  <line start="1556" end="1571">
<strongsad voiceover="voiceover">A puff of smoke! A greenish glow! <span style="visibility:hidden">Voila! Horrible abomination!</span></strongsad>
<sfx>strange pulsating noise</sfx>
  <line start="1572" end="1581">
<strongsad voiceover="voiceover">A puff of smoke! A greenish glow! Voila! <span style="visibility:hidden">Horrible abomination!</span></strongsad>
  <line start="1582" end="1609">
<strongsad voiceover="voiceover">A puff of smoke! A greenish glow! Voila! Horrible abomination!</strongsad>
  <line start="1610" end="1614">
<strongsad voiceover="voiceover">A puff of smoke! A greenish glow! Voila! Horrible abomination!</strongsad>
  <line start="1615" end="1626"><other><span style="visibility:hidden">buffer</span></other><sfx>roar</sfx></line>
  <line start="1627" end="1639">
<bubs>Aw, this was supposed to reduce my overhead! Not turn into my head!</bubs>
  <line start="1640" end="1685">
<bubs>Aw, this was supposed to reduce my overhead! Not turn into my head!</bubs>
  <line start="1706" end="1749" speaker="onionbubs">Welcome to my world! Ehhhhh-heheheheheheeeeeeeh!</line>
  <line start="1773" end="1844" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">These two no-talkers need to go! Let's eliminate a Poopsmith O!</line>
  <line start="1873" end="1883" speaker="sfx">Pumping noises</line>
  <line start="1884" end="1892" speaker="sfx">Bam</line>
  <line start="1906" end="1991" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, uh, and Pom Pom was filled with a deadly gas... that killed the Popsmith... really... fast.</line>
  <line start="2016" end="2069" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Crushed once by a Heavy Lourde in sbemail number two.</line>
  <line start="2070" end="2132" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">To keep this little weirdo dead, only a heavy gourd will do!</line>
  <line start="2133" end="2193" speaker="homsar">My punjab has a pretty price-tag!</line>
  <line start="2240" end="2335" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Homestar Runner, fast, like the whind, but how fast can he run when his knees can't bend?</line> 
  <line start="2336" end="2401" speaker="homestar">Oooh! Hey, this ain't so bad! Gives me the good thoughts, you know.</line> 
  <line start="2405" end="2483" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Well, I'll revise, then, if you please. What if each leg had several knees?</line> 
  <line start="2496" end="2541" speaker="homestar">Hey, great! It's like I'm wadin' through puddin' with every step!</line> 
  <line start="2542" end="2588" speaker="homestar">And everyone knows how much the Homestar Runner loves wadin' through puddin'.</line> 
  <line start="2591" end="2648" speaker="homestar">Strong Sad, these doomy tales of macrame aren't very scary.</line> 
  <line start="2649" end="2672" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, there's an idea!</line>
  <line start="2673" end="2752" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">A crafty fad, once loved by all. I'll hang you on a 70's basement wall!</line> 
  <line start="2755" end="2817" speaker="homestar">Oh no! Macrame! My worst nightmare!</line> 
  <line start="2818" end="2882" speaker="marzipan">But Macrame Owl Homestar, I give you a macrame dream catcher for Decemberween every year.</line> 
  <line start="2884" end="2913" speaker="homestar">My point exactlyyyyyyy!</line> 
  <line start="2935" end="2980" speaker="coachz">Get back upstairs and cook my seventies dinner, woman!</line> 
  <line start="2981" end="3016" speaker="coachz">And put on a pantsuit, fer cryin' out loud!</line> 
  <line start="3018" end="3079" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Halloween is very handy, for those with appetites for candy.</line> 
  <line start="3080" end="3115" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Except for greedy trick-or-treaters...</line> 
  <line start="3116" end="3157" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Like Strong Mad and The Cheat... <span style="visibility:hidden">er...</span></line> 
  <line start="3158" end="3173" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Like Strong Mad and The Cheat... er...</line> 
  <line start="3174" end="3209" speaker="strongmad">CHECK OUT MY NEW TREAT BAG!</line> 
  <line start="3210" end="3226" speaker="thecheat">The Cheat noises</line> 
  <line start="3228" end="3301" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">All night long, they gathered sweets, and tossed upon the growing heap!</line> 
  <line start="3302" end="3374" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">When finally struck the midnight hour, 'twas not just candy he devoured!</line> 
  <line start="3375" end="3457" speaker="strongmad">Phoo! Gah! THE CHEAT? NOOOOOO!!!</line> 
  <line start="3458" end="3536" speaker="strongbad">That's not macabre! Strong Mad eats The Cheat like four times a day! How do you think we give him baths?</line> 
  <line start="3537" end="3602" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Oh, fine! Well, I saved the most <em>macabre</em> for last!</line> 
  <line start="3603" end="3647" speaker="strongbad">I'd like to see you get macabré on mé!</line>
 <line start="3648" end="3716" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">Strong Bad, as he always does, checks emails from his fans,</line>
 <line start="3717" end="3749" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">what if, instead of boxing gloves,</line>
 <line start="3750" end="3784" speaker="strongsad" voiceover="voiceover">a pair of human hands?!</line>
 <line start="3789" end="3873" speaker="strongbad">Aaahhh! I'm hideous! How will I ever type with these waggly knuckled monstrosities?!</line>
 <line start="3902" end="3964" speaker="strongsad">Now all have met their grisly fate, such horrors for you to see.</line>
 <line start="3965" end="4027" speaker="strongsad">Perchance next time they'll all think twice before not inviting me!</line>
 <line start="4038" end="4075" speaker="all">Happy Halloween, Strong Sad!</line>
 <line start="4076" end="4140" speaker="strongsad">A surprise party? Just for me?! Oh, you guys shouldn't have!</line>
 <line start="4141" end="4171" speaker="strongsad">You all really do care!</line>
 <line start="4183" end="4192" speaker="sfx">bam</line>
 <line start="4197" end="4257" speaker="strongsad">Oh. Heh, heh, you weren't really supposed to see that, uh...</line>
 <line start="4258" end="4286" speaker="strongsad">Let's just flick the light back off, shall we?</line>

<!--Easter eggs-->

 <line start="4454" end="4482" speaker="bubs">Hey, Coach Z, you seen my wallet?</line>
 <line start="4484" end="4506" speaker="coachz">Well, what does it look like?</line>
 <line start="4508" end="4549" speaker="bubs">It's the one that says "Bad business practices".</line>
 <line start="4559" end="4700" speaker="coachz">Say, Marzipan, peep this: "You take two steps frorward and I'll take two steps back." Huh? No? I'm a cold-hearted snake? Rush rush? The Laker girls?</line>
 <line start="4705" end="4753" speaker="homestar">All right, I'm just gonna save everybody some time and burn through these.</line>
 <line start="4754" end="4787" speaker="homestar">Pom Pom? Underwater orange juice man? Classic.</line>
 <line start="4788" end="4840" speaker="homestar">Strong Bad? Scarecrow and Mrs. King? I would've preferred Jake and the Fat Man, but nice work.</line>
 <line start="4841" end="4882" speaker="homestar">The Cheat as the thorax? Love it. Favorite part of the insect.</line>
 <line start="4883" end="4929" speaker="homestar">Coach Z? Not sure if I wanna know the answer to this, but did you steal Mickey Mouse's pants?</line>
 <line start="4930" end="4967" speaker="homestar">Marzipan, off-duty Ronald McDonald? It is what it is.</line>
 <line start="4968" end="5007" speaker="homestar">And finally, Homestar, you seem to be distraught.</line>
 <line start="5012" end="5066" speaker="homestar">People try and make me sound a lot... weird, y'know, and I'm strong!</line>
 <line start="5067" end="5091" speaker="homestar">And I can... kick...</line>
 <line start="5107" end="5161" speaker="strongbad">The King of Town ate the colonel's mustard, and the rope, and the parlor.</line>
 <line start="5165" end="5203" speaker="kingoftown">I admit to only two thirds of that statement!</line>
 <line start="5214" end="5263" speaker="strongbad">Run, Marzipan, Run—off of a cliff, preferably.</line>
 <line start="5266" end="5295" speaker="marzipan"><i>(gasps)</i> You Kinder Überraschung!</line>
 <line start="5308" end="5386" speaker="homestar"><em>(Sings Saria's song from The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Time slightly off-key)</em></line>
 <line start="5396" end="5488" speaker="strongbad">Oh, the evil moon is crashing into the Earth again! What a totally un-frustrating way to play a video game!</line>
 <line start="5499" end="5521" speaker="strongmad">MOVE-A MOVE-A!</line>
Personal tools