Donut Unto Others

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 11:41, 6 April 2009

Not for the anniversary. Um, no. No way.

Homestar Runner opens his own Donut stand, much to the chagrin of Bubs

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Marzipan, Bubs, The King of Town, Strong Bad

Places: Marzipan's House, Bubs' Concession Stand

Date: Monday, April 6, 2009

Running Time: 3:56

Page Title: Hey There, Doughnut Rush!

Transcript

{Homestar is seen cutting out dough rings in Marzipan's Kitchen. Marzipan Enters}

MARZIPAN: Oh, that's sweet! Are you making me homemade donuts for the 16th anniversary of our 17th breakup?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um, no. No way. Um, no way. You know how I've always dreamed of being my own boss at the donut factory!

MARZIPAN: No, since when?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Why, just last night! {Homestar appears in his dream wearing a shirt with the Mexican flag on it and only one leg} I dreamt that I was a french long-jump champion with eight wooden legs!

MARZIPAN: And that made you want to start a donut shop?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes sir! Like I said, It's a boyhood dream of mine. Could you pass me that recipe?

MARZIPAN: {Picks up a small note from the table} There's just this square of TP that says "dog-nut" on it."

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, yeah. That's it. My secret recipe.

MARZIPAN: {Sighs} I'm gonna go talk to anyone else but you.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I honestly wonder how many million donuts I'll sell on my first day? Three? Four? Eight? I've gotta be ready for the 3:09PM donut rush, you know? Ooh, here it comes.

ENTER FROM RIGHT* Angry Bubs

BUBS: Well, helloo Hoomestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey there, donut rush. What can I get for you?

BUBS: It's really great to very see you Hoomestar.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Uhhm it's good to see you, too, I guess.

BUBS: I'm delighted you've decided to set up shop about ten feet away from me.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, we could be a conglomerate, like KFC, Taco Bell, Madison Texas Instruments Nasa.

BUBS:Yes. That is a really outstanding ideeeaaaa

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Um, bubs? Are we in a fight?

BUBS: Why you think that? You opened up a competing donut right across the street from me Bubs returns blue again.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: The street?

BUBS: Right across the way from me.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But I thought you sold questionable medical coverage

BUBS: That was 2 hours s ago. Now I'm in the donut business. How's that coverage working for you, by the way.

Great so far!

BUBS: I gotta go get ready for the big 309PM donut rush when next we meet, 'twil be on the donut field of battle.

BUBS: (singing/marching) dubba dup dup dup dubba dup dup dup

POOF* king of town appears

KING OF TOWN: Ooh. Alright gentlemen, here's how this is gonna go down. I need fried dough so bad it hurts! According to the chatter** i got back from taco bell NASA, we're gonna need in the 3-8 million range to maintain my caloric intake now, commence marketing bombardment.

HOMESTAR RUNNER:

BUBS: Mine's a shipped from a 3rd world country named homa modday, so i can legally print from "HomemAde" on the prepackeged package.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I've got great gumption and an adorable speech impootaboot

BUBS: My name's bubs, I talk hard and fast.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Available in over 57 different varieties!

BUBS: One flavor, over a hundred different names for it

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Marzipan raves "Hey! Get outta my kitchen, you!"

BUBS: Fights cavities! Cleans Teeth! The American Dental Association does not approve of the preceding statements.

KING OF TOWN: Alright alright alright. You both make excellent cases, but I've come to my decision.

STRONG BAD: Health Inspector!

BUBS: (cheese everyone)!

KING OF TOWN: Ooh!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey potential customer, would you like several million donuts?

STRONG BAD: No, I don't want one.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: But do you don't not want one? Hmmm?

STRONG BAD: I'm the health inspector, here to hopefully shut you down. Now rub this swab under your grease trap and bring it back.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yes sir, inspectoree.

STRONG BAD: and.. a little bit of THIS! *kick*

HOMESTAR RUNNER: *ahhhhh my face*

STRONG BAD: ahahahahahaha

HOMESTAR RUNNER: *...my face!!!* Bubs, is this covered by my questionable medical coverage... at least questionably so? Bubs?

BUBS: dooot droot dooba doop doop doop

Fun Facts

Inside References

• Homestar claiming he was a French long-jump champion is another instance of French. The flag he wears in his dream is actually the flag of Mexico.
• Strong Bad smiles in this short.
• The King of Town appears from hammerspace.
  • Strong Bad also pulls the F slip out of hammerspace.