Back To A Website

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 02:17, 17 April 2025

Toon Category: Shorts

Homestar and Strong Bad sing a song in celebration of the website's 25 years.

Cast (in order of appearance): Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, Strong Mad, The Cheat, Bubs, Strong Sad

Places: Computer Room

Date: Wednesday, April 16, 2025

Running Time: 3:04

Page Title: Back to the Crazebox!

Transcript

{Scene opens to the Trogdor arcade machine in the dark basement.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {off-screen} Dot com dot com dot com dot com—

{Cut to a football statue on Strong Mad's dresser.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {off-screen} —dot com dot com dot com dot com—

{Cut to Strong Sad's room. Strong Bad, dripping with water, walks across the hallway wearing a towel across his waist and one on his head.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {off-screen} —dot com dot com dot com—

{Cut to Homestar in Strong Bad's computer room typing on the Lappier. Strong Bad walks in the room, still dripping water.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —dot com dot com dot com dot com dot com dot com dot com—

STRONG BAD: {blinking} YES! {to the camera} At long last, Homestar has finally lost all three of his marbles! Strong Mad, bring in the crazebox!

{Strong Mad eagerly comes in carrying a metal kennel. The box is labeled "come on in" on the front with a clown wearing Homestar's propeller cap. On the side, it reads "crazebox".}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: dot com dot com dot com dot com dot com dot com dot com. {to Strong Bad} ALL DONE!

STRONG MAD: {disappointed groan}

STRONG BAD: Dare I ask what you think is happening here?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I was just-a crumbling down memory lane when I thought I'd log onto our good old-fashioned typing-some-words website.

STRONG BAD: So why are you just sitting there broken-recording "dot com"?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: It's 2025, Strong Bad! {it's 2025! is written in masking tape on the bottom of Homestar's shoe} Our 25th year on the internet! {pouts} And as Saint Grandma Nedscape always taught us—

{Cut to a Peasant's Quest-style frame with St. Grandma Nedscape flanked by two candles. Falling stars pass through her frame.}

ST. GRANDMA NEDSCAPE: {low sound quality} Thou shalt receive one dot com for each year passéd on this widest of wüerld wöebs.

STRONG BAD: {smiling} That is a whole mess of made-up bullcrap right there, Homestar Runner.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks, Strong Bad! I wrote it on the plane!

{Strong Bad does a double-take as he grunts in confusion.}

STRONG BAD: {stroking his chin} But I do wish we could go back to the old days sometimes.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, back when the whole internet wasn't just on four websites on people's phones.

STRONG BAD: Let's do it! {pointing backwards} Let's go back!

{Music starts playing}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Back where?

STRONG MAD: {smiling as he holds the crazebox} TO THE CRAZEBOX?

STRONG BAD: No! Back to a website!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Back to a website?

{Strong Bad jumps out of the towel in a blur. He lands in his pants, which are standing on his desk where the No Loafing sign is. The lights dim and confetti is thrown.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Let's go back to a website!

{Strong Bad is dancing on the lighted floor of Club Technochocolate.}

STRONG BAD: Come on, come on, come on, come on.

{Strong Bad sings while Strong Mad plays bass and The Cheat plays the keyboard.}

STRONG BAD: Back to a website!

{Strong Bad is in front of a group of compter towers labeled "Datum Center".}

STRONG BAD: Where you can log on, log on, log on, log on.

{Cut to The Cheat, viewing a Powered By The Cheat cartoon of Strong Bad's head rolling on his Tangerine Dreams.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} TFN Website!

{The Cheat walks out.}

'{Cut to the Homestar Runner Museum page.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Dot com, dot com, dot com, dot com!

'{Strong Bad slides in.}

STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Oh, that website!

{Cut to Strong Bad typing on the Lappier.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} I was scrolling down—

{Strong Bad's head is in front of HTML code}

STRONG BAD: to the local HTML!

{Cut to Homestar Runner on Main Page 1. The updates button reads "Kinda nifty!" The mouse scrolls over the buttons, triggering the animations.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Getting kinda nifty on the site!

{Zoom in to the nose cone of the rocket. Strong Bad is standing in place of the astronaut.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Well, what do I see?

{A URL is being typed while several GIFs of dancing rats play.}

STRONG BAD: W times three!

{Homestar is standing on a soapbox reading "Twenty-Five Dot Coms". A shovel has dug several holes around the field.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} And dot com {gold foil seals appear} times 25!

{A silhouetted Homestar Runner walks on the hills like the old intro.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Let's go back to a website!

{Zoom in and rotate on the classic Homestar. Iris close.}

STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Come on, come on, come on, come on!

{Cut to Strong Bad singing on Strong Bad's Website.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Back to a website!

'{Strong Bad and Homestar are standing on the Yahoo Error Page. Several Powered By The Cheat logs reading "log on" drop in.}

STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Where you can log on, log on, log on, log on!

{A hand is clicking a mouse above text reading "click, please"}

'STRONG BAD: {singing} {singing} TFN website!

{A grainy Homestar Runner wearing a mustache appears in a media player}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {like "hustle for sports"} Web 1.0!

{Strong Bad is under a spotlight}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Not just the same four websites!

{Four smartphone icons for four social media websites appear.}

{Strong Bad is in Strong Badia holding a smartphone.}

STRONG BAD: {singing} On your phone, your phone, your phone, your phone!

{Cut to Pom Pom's chest. Several old models of cellular phones and PDAs pop out of it.}'

STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} On your phone, your phone, your phone, your phone!

{Strong Bad is typing on the Tandy 400.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Lemme get, lemme get, lemme get, lemme get—

'{Strong Bad is at Bubs's Concession Stand, placing an order}

STRONG BAD: Lemme get, lemme get, lemme get, lemme get!

{Cut to the hit counter on Strong Bad's Website, which is counting up from 15.}

STRONG BAD: That hit counter!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {wearing sunglasses} Ooh! Look at all that hits!

STRONG BAD: Let me sign that guest book!

{Cut to Homestar Runner's Yearbook. Strong Lad signed "First!" in April 2000.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: No one signs my guest book!

'{Cut to another busy Thorx Corp webpage advertising illegal mp3s.}

STRONG BAD: Lemme join your web ring!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Can you really trust these people?

{Cut to a webpage filled with blue hyperlinks}

STRONG BAD: Lemme see that links page!

{Cut to College Student Homestar with his bike talking to Cardboard Homestar}

HOMESTAR: {grunt-sighing as he takes out a roll of toilet paper} Can you link to my website?

{Cut to Strong Bad in front of a chalkboard}

STRONG BAD: Lemme get that site map!

HOMESTAR RUNNNER: {removing sunglasses} What is a site map, anyways?

{Strong Bad is standing on a button reading Flash Intro (non-skippable). He jumps from button to button.}

STRONG BAD: Nobody in the history of the Internet ever clicked on the site map!

{The site map falls away.}

'{Cut back to Strong Bad and Homestar dancing on the computer desk.}

STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Let's go back to a website! Come on, come on, come on, come on!

{Cut to Strong Sad's Blog.}

STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Back to a website!

{Cut to the Homestar Runner screen saver}

STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Where you can log on, log on, log on, log on! TFN Website!

{Cut to Strong Bad dancing with several Not Really Breakdancing Rodent GIFs.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Dot com, dot com, dot com, dot com!

{Cut to the first intro. Fireworks explode. Strong Bad's head floats across the screen.}

STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Oh, that website!

STRONG BAD: {singing} That website!

{Zoom into a star inside Homestar's eye. Wipe to Homestar walking a One, Two cycle.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Scrolling, scrolling!

{A mouse is scrolling as Strong Bad and Homestar walk on the screen.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Scrolling, scrolling!

STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Now we're scrolling, scrolling!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Till you get to the end of the page!

{Strong Bad and Homestar are at the Lappier}

STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Scrolling, scrolling!

'HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Scrolling, scrolling!

{Cut to the current flash intro. The screen scrolls to Homestar Runner's Website.}

STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Yeah, we're scrolling, scrolling!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: There used to be an end of the page!

{Zoom in. Cut to Homestar dancing in front of Strong Mad and The Cheat playing their instruments. Strong Bad is dancing behind them.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Back to a website!

{Cut to Homestar locked in the crazebox being carried away by Strong Mad.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {singing} Dot egg, dot gov, dot com!

{Zoom out. Strong Bad is surfing on the crazebox as Strong Mad walks toward a sign reading "website".}

STRONG BAD: {singing} Back to a website!

'{THe Compy 386 has a Flagrant System Error. A pop-up window with Strong Bad appears.}

STRONG BAD: Where you can logon logon logon logon!

{A Homestar pop-up appears}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Dot com.

'{Fade to the current intro screen, with Strong Bad and Homestar standing in the field.}

'STRONG BAD: {singing} Logon logon logon logon!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Dot com.

{Scene fades to Homestar and Strong Bad standing on the desk in front of the No Loafing Sign.}

STRONG BAD: I hate to say it, but that was a pretty, pretty good duet there, Homestar Runner! Pretty good!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Thanks, Strong Bad! I wrote it on the plane!

{Cut to Homestar}

HOMESTAR RUNnER: So, does this mean our website's gonna have more frequent updates featuring our hilarious adventures?

STRONG BAD: What? {Flatly} No. No, not at all.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Cool, cool. See ya at Halloween, then?

STRONG BAD: Yeah, maybe.

{Homestar walks away, singing.}

{Strong Bad walks off the desk and does a somersault jump. He crashes violently into something off-screen.}

STRONG MAD: WATCH OUT FOR THE CRAZE BOX!

'{Strong Bad is sprawled on the floor. There is a visible dent in the craze box that Strong Mad is holding.}

STRONG BAD: {mumbling in pain} Mumble... mumbletina.

{Fade to black. The Homestar Runner logo appears with a gold foil seal reading 25 dot coms.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Dot com!

Easter Eggs

• At the end, click on the "dot 25 coms" badge:

{Start of First Time Here?}

CLAPPER LOADER: Homestarrunner dot com welcome speech, take 1. {snaps clapperboard and moves it away so Homestar becomes visible}

CHERRY GREG: Action!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Welcome to Homestarrunner dot net. "It's dot com! dot com! {every time he says dot com, another stacks upon the previous one} dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com dot com! dot com! dot com! dot com! {his voice is digitally pitched up} dot com! dot com! dot com! {he moves forward, breaking the camera lens} Was that good? Did I do it, Greg?"

CHERRY GREG: That was 26, man!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Homestarrrunner dot net. That was 26, man!

{bip}

• At the end, click on the star in the Homestar Runner Logo:

{Cut to Strong Sad in the crazebox}

STRONG SAD: How can you even imply that about sitemaps? They revolutionized the way people make websites! They're like the fundamental backbone of search engine optimization. Tens of thousands of UI and UX people are going to revolt against you just for saying that about sitemaps.

{Pan right to reveal Strong Bad wearing his towels resting with his feet against Strong Sad, obscured behind the crazebox}

STRONG BAD: That's great UI nerd. Just keep talkin'. Your strugglin' and jagglin' is giving me a good foot rub here.

STRONG SAD: Maybe if you ever used a sitemap your janky old website would get more visitors and traffic.

STRONG BAD: {Grunts and kicks Strong Sad}

STRONG SAD OW!

Fun Facts

External Links

• HR:toons/backtoawebsite