No Hands On Deck!

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 17:15, 14 August 2006

"I'ma go build a deck!"

Homestar decides to build a deck... with galvanized nails!

Cast (in order of appearance): Homestar Runner, Cardboard Marzipan, The King of Town, The Cheat, Pom Pom, Strong Sad, Bubs, Coach Z.

Places: Marshmallow's Last Stand, The King of Town's Castle, The Stick, Marzipan's House Strong Sad's Bed

Date: August 14, 2006

Running Time: 3:07

Page title: Homestar Decker-Slaney!

Transcript

{The toon opens in Marshmallow's Last Stand with Homestar Runner sitting across from Cardboard Marzipan.}

HOMESTAR (CARDBOARD MARZIPAN): And they feed the ducks through a tube. Don't you think that's awful?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Look, girl sitting across from me. I gotta level with you. I'm gonna go build a deck!

{Homestar runs away from the table. He pops up from under the table to imitate Cardboard Marzipan}

HOMESTAR (CARDBOARD MARZIPAN): I gots to find me a new man.

{Cut to The King of Town eating something white in a bowl. Homestar pops up from under the table.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey King of Town! (King of Town spits out a remote control) I'm gonna build a deck!

{Cut to The Cheat knitting in The Field. Homestar pops out from behind The Stick.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: The Cheat, I'm deckin' it out!

{Cut to Homestar standing on Marzipan's couch. Pom-Pom is holding a camera and a boom mic is overhead.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I am the Deckman! D-E-C-K-E-M-A-N!

{Cut to Strong Sad lying in bed. Homestar pops out from under the covers.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh! Hi, Strong Sad... Um... Not sure how I got in here... I'll just... go back the way I came.

{Homestar dissapears under the covers.}

STRONG SAD: I have GOT to get my prescription changed!

{"The Local Newspapes" appears with headline "No Hands On Deck}

{Cut to Homestar and Bubs in The Field. Homestar is wearing a tool belt and leaning against a stack of wood.}

BUBS: Now what's all this about, Homestar?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: What, you didn't know? Yeah, I'm building me a deck. Using galvanized nails. That's right, that's right. I said I'm using galvanized nails {mumbles last two words}.

BUBS: Galvanized nails, eh? Sounds legit. We can chill out on it an drink melonade all summer long.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, melonade! We haven't talked about that much lately! Maybe we can eat some {Homestar's head turns into the older animation style} marshmallows {Homestar's head turns back to normal} too!

BUBS: And I like to dance! (beat plays and Bubs does a little dance) Well, I'll let you get back to work. I'll swing by later on with a sixer of Melonade!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Make it a seven-er.

BUBS: Aroo-got it!

{Cut to Coach Z's Locker Room.}

COACH Z: Galvanized, you don't say?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, it's pretty legit. I was thinking about writing a musical about it too. Maybe call it, "My Good Great Deck". I'll probably get Rappaport to star in it.

COACH Z: What about me? I wanna be in your myorsical! I could be the orphan! {Coach Z switches his hat to a flat cap and starts singing} Oh where is my mother, dee doo?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: That's a good one, Coach. A really... really... good {the shot zooms in with each of the last three words} one. Well, I better get back to work if I'm gonna build a deck in this cartoon.

{Homestar leaves}

COACH Z: {holds up four Tony trophies} But what abrat my four Tony Awards?

{Cut to Homestar sitting across from Cardboard Marzipan in Marshmallow's Last Stand}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: 'Kipedia said vulcanized was the way to go. But I dang old knew better. Galvanized, galvanized, galvanized, that's what I always say!

HOMESTAR (CARDBOARD MARZIPAN): Homestar, are you using galvanized nails to hide the fact that you don't know how to build a deck?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'm gonna... have to get back to you on that one... Peow! ... ahem... Let's try that again. Peow! {Homestar leaves}

{Sequence illustrating Homestar building a deck}

{Cut to Bubs and Homestar standing on top of Bubs' Concession Stand}

BUBS: Well, I'm impressed, Homestar. When you said you were building a deck, I figured it would end up being something stupid and terrible. You know, 'cause you were building it.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, me too!

BUBS: But I think I could get used to this!

{Looks out over The Field which is now completely covered in wood}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Here's to galvanized nails, and cardboard females!

BUBS: I'll drink to that!

Fun Facts

Explanations

• Galvanization is the process of coating steel or iron with zinc to reduce corrosion. Thus, gavanized nails are zinc-coated nails.

Trivia

• The newspaper reads...

---

The Local Newspapes

---

NO HANDS ON DECK!!
Area Man To Build Deck
FCUSA - The world waits with baited breath
as local ham n' egger Homestar Runner
prepares to break ground on a wooden
deck-like Structure of what can only be
described (by him) as 'deckic proportions.'

The 'Deckeman?'

Strong Sad Unavailable
For Comment!
Last seen at local apothecary Bubs' Concession

Inside References

• The title of the short refers to Homestar's lack of visible arms.
• The cardboard cutout rendering of Marzipan is from Happy Fireworks.
• The King of Town is eating the remote control of the Telebision.
• While saying "marshmallows", Homestar's head briefly transforms to its Jumping Jack Contest form.
• Bubs' dance moves are the spin and flip from Dancing Bubs.
• The newspaper is called The Local Newspapes, which is also the name of the newspaper in the Dangeresque series.
• The extra "e" in "DECKEMAN" is a reference to Biz Cas Fri 1 when Homestar spells dog "D-O-G-E"

External Links

• watch "No Hands On Deck!"
• view the Flash file for "No Hands On Deck!"
• forum thread re: "No Hands On Deck!"