Date Nite

From Homestar Runner Wiki

Revision as of 10:21, 24 April 2007

"Whoa-ho, Marzipan! You look like a fox's mother!"

Cast (in order of appearance): Marzipan, Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Bubs, Coach Z, Strong Sad (Easter egg)

Places: Marzipan's House, Strong Bad's Basement, Marshmallow's L'est Stand, The Stone Bridge, Submarine U.S.S. Flirtini, Bubs' Concession Stand, Strong Sad's Room (Easter egg)

Date: April 24, 2007

Running Time: 4:17

Page Title: Meet me on down at the Chez Perez!

Transcript

{Scene in Marzipan's house, where Marzipan is applying mascara while looking in a hall mirror. She is already wearing lipstick. After a second, Homestar enters from the right.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Whoa-ho, Marzipan! You look like a fox's mother!

MARZIPAN: {Still looking in mirror} Homestar, if you're trying to say I'm a foxy momma, that's actually more offensive.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Right, right. You know what I mean. The more offensive one. So where are we goin' tonight? {leans over} The Chez Perez?

MARZIPAN: {Still into mirror} Uh, no. I have a hot date with The Cheat, thank you very much. I suspect you'll probably stay home and run in place or something.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Well I was planning to—you WHAT?! {Eyes bug out}

{Cut to Strong Bad's basement, where The Cheat is applying a fake mustache with Strong Bad looking on}

STRONG BAD: You WHAT?! {Starts quivering with outrage}

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

STRONG BAD: I can't believe this, The Cheat!

{Cut to a close-up of Homestar in Marzipan's house}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I can't believe you're The Cheating on me! {Pull back to include Marzipan, still at the mirror} So what are you saying? That you—gulp—"want his bod"?

{Cut back to a close up of Strong Bad in his basement}

STRONG BAD: You can't even call that thing a bod! At best it's a broom or a—

{Cut back to Homestar}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —Trivial Pursuit cheese wedge!

MARZIPAN: {Turning away from the mirror and brandishing mascara brush} Look, Homestar, it's just a date. This has always been an open relationship.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Whoa-ho-ho-says you. I've turned down more foxes' mothers than I can count just to stay loyal to you!

MARZIPAN: {Dryly} So, four, then?

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, that's rich. Ms. Smarty Pants, eh?

{Cut back to Strong Bad's basement}

STRONG BAD: Mr. Smarty Spots, huh? Well—

{Scene starts switching between locations as Strong Bad and Homestar alternate words}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —why—

STRONG BAD: —don't—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —you—

STRONG BAD: —just—

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —go a—

{This time, scene cuts to Strong Bad's face in front of the mirror in Marzipan's house}

STRONG BAD: —head—

{Cuts back to Homestar one more time for:}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: —and—

{Cuts to Strong Bad and Homestar inexplicably together in Marzipan's house, yelling:}

STRONG BAD AND HOMESTAR RUNNER: —GET OUTTA MY FACE!

{Both open their eyes}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Looking around} Wait, what?

STRONG BAD: {Same} What the crap...?

{Cut back to Strong Bad's basement where Marzipan and The Cheat are standing in front of the couch.}

MARZIPAN: Come on, the Cheat. Let's go.

{The Cheat crooks his arm as if to allow Marzipan to loop her arm through it. Marzipan stands next to him and leans over as if she does, and the two exit together.}

{Cut to title screen, a pink square on a light blue background. The letters "Da" and "ni" appear on the left side of the square, one on top of the other, then a large "Te" appears on the left to form the words "DaTe" and "niTe".}

{Cut back to Marzipan's house, this time to the living room. Homestar and Strong Bad are apparently drinking Cold Ones, Strong Bad sitting on the couch, Homestar lying on the floor with his feet on the couch. Strong Bad is shaking his head.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh. Man. Seriously, Strong Strong, we's gotta do something about this.

STRONG BAD: Ordinarily, I just drown my sorrows in video games, but for this, {Close up of Strong Bad} maybe I should drown them in... drowning them! {Smiles}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Sitting up} Uh, maybe let's not kill anybody. We should just try and ruin their date.

STRONG BAD: Explain to me how drowning them wouldn't ruin their date.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Mainly, I just want to keep 'em from making out.

STRONG BAD: {Dropping Cold One bottle, starts rubbing his arms} Ewww! The disgust! It won't wash off!

{Scene transitions to Marshmallow's Last Stand, where The Cheat and Marzipan are sitting in a booth, holding menus. Both the menus and a sign near the door read "Marshmallow's L'est Stand".}

THE CHEAT: {Questioning The Cheat noises}

MARZIPAN: Why, yes, The Cheat, I would be very comfortable with you saying something about my figure. Thank you for asking first.

THE CHEAT: {Suggestive The Cheat noises}

MARZIPAN: {Puts down menu} Ew. Not that comfortable.

{Homestar comes running up in his waiter uniform from Summer Short Shorts}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ah, good evening, ungodly couple. {The Cheat puts down his menu} My name is Waiter, I will be your Homestar for this evening. Can I start you two off with a glass of "Breaking Up", or perhaps "Never Seeing Each Other Again" with capers?

THE CHEAT: {Angry The Cheat noises, waving a fist}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Why, yes, The Cheat, I would be comfortable with you "cleaning my clock"! Thanks for asking first!

THE CHEAT: {Angrier The Cheat noises, more threatening gestures}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Ahhhh! {Takes off in a cloud of dust, after a few seconds, pops down from the top border} Can I settle up with you guys? My shift's over.

THE CHEAT: {Angry The Cheat noises, more threatening gestures, Homestar ducks offscreen}

{Cut to later, close up of Marzipan with a plate with crumbs and a small piece of marshmallow.}

MARZIPAN: Mmmmm, my almond-encrusted Chilean sea marshmallow was just delicious. {Cut out to include the Cheat with an empty hot dog wrapper with ketchup and a couple of french fries in and around it, respectively.} How was your hot dog?

THE CHEAT: {The Cheat noises}

{Strong Bad runs up, dressed up as an Italian chef}

STRONG BAD: {Fake Italian accent} Oh-a, it's-a me! {Close up} The chef-a! A-which-a one o' you guys ordered the smack-in-the-face-a?

MARZIPAN: {Annoyed} I thought this was a French restaurant.

STRONG BAD: {Regular voice} Oh. Ummmmmmmmm, uh... Sn-snails?

MARZIPAN: Come on, T.C., let's blow this marshmallow stand. {Marzipan and the Cheat get up and walk away offscreen}

STRONG BAD: Yeah, y'know, I--I didn't really research this role.

{As the screen blacks out, Strong Bad's faka mustache falls off}

{Fade in to Marzipan and The Cheat crossing The Stone Bridge in the moonlight}

THE CHEAT: {Excited The Cheat noises, gesturing}

{They stop at the top of the bridge}

MARZIPAN: That's so crazy! I've always wanted to see Ira Glass and Ira Flatow wrestle, too.

{From out of the water comes a periscope, apparently made out of cardboard tubes and duct tape. Cut to the view of Marzipan and The Cheat from the periscope. A repetitive sonar-like "boo" sound is heard in the background}

MARZIPAN: This has been such a grand date, The Cheat. I don't know what could possibly ruin it.

{Cut to inside of cardboard submarine. Strong Bad is looking away from the periscope with Homestar standing right behind, wearing a sailor hat and simulating sonar noises. Water is streaming down the walls and dripping from the ceiling.}

STRONG BAD: Time to fire all rigs to target! Flood tubes three and four! Hunt for Red October!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: Aye aye, sir! ...Boo!

{Cut to surface. The "submarine" surfaces. It is a cardboard box with the words "USS FLIRTINI" on the side. Strong Bad and Homestar pop out, revealing fireworks duct-taped to the insides of the box flaps.}

STRONG BAD: FIRE!

{Homestar and Strong Bad light a match and the BMW Lighter, respectively, and light the fireworks. View changes to include the bridge and its occupants. After a couple seconds, the fireworks simultaneously propel the submarine backwards offscreen and fly forwards.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER AND STRONG BAD: WAAAH!

{The fireworks execute a loop in the air, and fly past Marzipan and The Cheat, startling them. Cut to a view of the sky where the fireworks go off in a grand display. Marzipan and The Cheat's silhouettes can be seen in the foreground.}

MARZIPAN: Ooooh, it's so romantic...

THE CHEAT: {Sighs}

{Marzipan and The Cheat lean close to each other suggestively}

{Cut to view of the surface of a large body of water. Homestar and Strong Bad are leaning out the top of the "submarine" as the fireworks flash, singing the Strong Badia National Anthem as it sinks.}

STRONG BAD: {Singing} Come to the place where the tropical breezes blow... {Last words is garbled as he is submerged}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Singing along} Da da da da dada dadada dada daaaaaaah...

{Cut to Marzipan's front hall, later. The sound of the front door opening and closing is heard, followed by Marzipan walking down the hall until she finds Homestar, running in place angrily. Homestar notices her, and stops mid-step.}

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Sulkingly} Oh, if it isn't Marzipan. {Steps down} Oh, I'm sorry, or was it "The Marzipan", now?

MARZIPAN: Well, you'll be happy to know it didn't work out between us. I found out the Cheat is declawed, and I just don't think I could be with someone that supports that kind of cruelty.

HOMESTAR RUNNER: {Delighted} And now you've come crawlin' back to the old fox's father!

MARZIPAN: No, I just came to change outfits for my next date with Bubs at the all-night waffle place!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: You WHAT?! {Eyes bug out}

{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Bubs is straightening a black bow tie, while Coach Z is standing behind him wearing hair curlers and brandishing a rolling pin.}

COACH Z: You WHORT?!

{Cut to end screen, the pink box on light blue background, with the word "end" in the box. After a few seconds, "back" appears at the bottom.}

Easter Eggs

• At the end, click on the period to hear the national radio station on the booOOMbox in Strong Sad's room:

RADIO ANNOUNCER: And join us next Saturday at some civic hall auditorium for "Public Rage-o." All your favorite public radio superstars will be in action. Watch as Ira Glass and Ira Flatow duke it out in a no-holds-barred lumberjack match. And special guest Garrison Keillor wrestles his soothing voice in a steel cage.

{The Public Radio Sounds music plays}

STRONG SAD: Oh, geez, I gotta pledge more next year. They're really getting desperate.

Fun Facts

Explanations

• "L'est" is a cognate of the French word for "the" and the infinitive "to be." "Chez" (which Homestar mispronounces) means "At the home of" and is often used in names of French restaurants.

Trivia

• Marzipan's mascara tube reads "Hot Vegan".
• Strong Bad and Homestar are drinking 'old ones.
• Marzipan strokes her right eye with mascara 18 times.

Goofs

• After the rockets are fired, they are clearly visible attached to the U.S.S. Flirtini as it sinks.

Inside References

• In long pants, Marizpan also claims she is not a broom.
• The rockets are Fthoom-Bang brand bottle rockets duct-taped together just like in Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon.
  • Strong Bad is in Jail Cartoon also has Strong Bad in a cardboard box.
• During the Easter egg, the Public Radio Sound music from radio is heard.
• Homestar's "L'egg" hat also appeared in Summer Short Shorts.
• The Cheat is again compared to cheese (in this case, a Trivial Pursuit cheese wedge), as was the case in huttah!.
• While the "USS FLIRTINI" is sinking, the song that Strong Bad and Homestar sing is the Strong Badia National Anthem.

Real-World References

• The Hunt for Red October was a film about submarine warfare.
• Ira Glass and Ira Flatow are public radio hosts. Glass hosts This American Life on Public Radio International, Flatow hosts Talk of the Nation - Science Friday on National Public Radio.
• Garrison Keillor hosts A Prairie Home Companion from American Public Media.
• Trivial Pursuit is a board game in which players earn game pieces sometimes called "cheese wedges" for answering trivia questions correctly.
• A lumberjack match is a match in professional wrestling in which other athletes, usually jobbers, stand around the outside of the ring in order to prevent a ring-out.

External Links

• watch "Date Nite"
• view the Flash file for "Date Nite"
• forum thread re: "Date Nite"