for kids

{A message appears, reading, "The Brumak says he has killed enough friends already. And he doesn't like your short, short penis." His score also drops to 222.}

STRONG BAD: What the...!? (presses enter; the Brumak starts firing his arm guns at Strong Bad (as Commando Dom)} Um... {typing} Buy Brumak a cold one.

{Brumak fires rockets and kills Commando Dom. Another message appears, reading, "The Brumak is a teetotaller and is offended by your offer. He fires his rcokets at you. You dead." His score also drops to -93.}

STRONG BAD: WHAT?!? Oh man... Stupid game! {presses enter; types "quit". A message reads, "You fucking loser."} I guess I should do the thing... that I do. {pulls up the a> sign and types "strongbad_email.exe"} {Reading}

Coolest gay ever - - - Strong Bad,
I've been wondering if you ever
thought of making your own television
series? Kids everywhere would hate
you.

Allison Chains, NJ

STRONG BAD: {typing} Television?!! Kids?!! Wait, do you people think I'm intended for children? I don't think I'm cut out for that sort of blowjob.

{Cut to a piece of yellow paper of the sort used to teach kindergartners writing. Strong Bad is superimposed on it with MOAR Krabs, "unsure Squidward", the Skin Taker from Candle Cove, and Homer Simpson with his face melted off. The BGM is "Night on Bald Mountain" from Fantasia.}

STRONG BAD: {Smiling beatifically and speaking with a demonic overtone} Okay, kids, we're gonna play "Where's The Cheat?".

{Cut to a side-view of Strong Bad, who faces at the camera.}

STRONG BAD: {Speaking normally} Can you say, "a-The Cheat"?

PATCHY the PIRATE: NO!!!!

STRONG BAD: {stops smiling} Fuck you.

{"FUCK YOU" appears on the screen. The DELETED buzzer is heard. Cut back to Strong Bad. Behind him are images of Spengbab, an evil Mickey Mouse head, and Slenderman.}

STRONG BAD: All right, dumb shits. {rubs his hands together with the same demonic overtone} Kill The Cheat!

{The Cheat comes out from behind the box and waves.}

KIDS: {say things like "He's over there," or "Right there." They continue saying this.}

STRONG BAD: {screaming with the demonic voice effect} HE'S BEHIND THE BOX! {slides down, then gets even closer} I'LL KILL HIM!! I'LL KILL HIM NOW!!

{Cut back via static to Strong Bad at the Compy 386}

STRONG BAD: So, you can see how that might be MOAR {the MOAR Krabs face fades in and out on the computer screen} than pleasant. What with all the angry mothers and the stringing me up in town square for all to see. But you know who's a natural for that sorta thing? None other than America's favorite blue midget: HomstatsmoH!

{Cut to an all-white scene. Homsar comes through a faraway door. He walks closer to the viewer and stops. For a split second, his face turns into Spengbab.}

KIDS: Whaddaya know, Haddi-man?

{Homsar opens his mouth with a laser shooting out and his hat flies up in the air and explodes on the ceiling. Cut to a colorful background with Homsar smoking weed.}

MAN: We'll have a several long trips. —

MAN: —and maybe get a bite to eat!!!

{A box of Domino's Pizza appears. Seven Homsar silhouettes now fan like a hand of cards from left to right, and then disappear in reverse order with inverted colors.}

MAN: All 'cause we say...

{A red silhouette of Homsar with the flag from the boat appears. White liquid spills onto the screen. A logo that says "Whaddaya Know Haddi-man?" with a second caricature of Homsar on it appears.}

KIDS: Whaddaya know, Haddi-man?

{The real Homsar pops up on the left side of the screen in the lower left corner.}

HOMSAR: {A screaming Rabbid's face (from Rayman: Raving Rabbids) imposes Homsar's face}DaAaAaA! {face returns to normal} I'm a trendy douche bag!

{Cut to a tan scene. Homsar disappears and reappears in various places coming out of Spongebob's ass accompanied with raspberry noises. When he stops in the left half of the foreground, a blue lower case "g" appears beside him.}

KIDS: A "G"!

HOMSAR: I'm not gonna lie to you, that's a healthy piece of shit!

KIDS: A "G"!

{Cut to a purple background with a seated, mustachioed man playing a guitar. As "Bullet" by Hollywood Undead plays, the lyrics appear on the screen accompanied with images such as Patrick walking around across the screen, a smiling Squidward holding a carton of Malboro cigarettes, and Spongebob smoking weed, along with flashing rainbow colors.}

STAVE IT OFF GUY: My legs are dangling off the edge
The bottom of a bottle is my only friend
I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone
gone
GONE
GONE

{Cut back to Homsar}

HOMSAR: That's a real popular song! Who wants to more of it?

KIDS: {shouts of approval}

{Cut to the previous screen. Now we see two of the guitar-playing people, one in a darker shade superimposed behind the other with the same surreal images as well as the colors. Again, as the words are sung, they appear on the screen.}

STAVE IT OFF GUY: My legs are dangling off the edge
A stomach full of pills didn't work again
I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm
gone
GONE
GONE

{Cut back to the Compy via static.}

STRONG BAD: {typing} Good gravy. {Spoken: GOOD... GRAVY.} I've got two words for the children that are raised on that crap: {in monotone} HELL NO.

{Cut to Mr. Krabs making a silly face from the "Squeaky Boots" episode of Spongebob}

References

String Bed plays Gears of War 3 on Horde Mode.
The song that was playing on Homsar's show was "Bullet" by Hollywood Undead.
This video makes lots of references to Sinnedtragedy98, AwfulFawfultheFalafe, and Sloth65's YTPs.

for kids

From Homestar Runner Wiki

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