The Paper

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This article is about the pseudocharacter. For the Strong Bad Email, see the paper.
"Talk to my man with the green and white stripes."
As it appeared in the first 20 emails

The Paper was the piece of printer paper that came down from the top of the screen after nearly every Strong Bad Email, up until the paper, when it was replaced by New Paper. It usually would read:

 
> Click here to e-mail strong bad
strongbad@homestarrunner.com

In the first twenty emails, it contained just the first line without an email address. When the link is clicked in subsequent emails, the email address disappears, possibly as a result of the address not being properly added to the Flash file. In said emails, it would read:

> Click here to e-mail strong bad
 

The Paper coming down usually signals the end of the email; however, the majority of Easter eggs can be found after The Paper has come down. One can either wait around or click on certain words Strong Bad has typed. It is shown in the paper that Strong Bad had its printer above his desk, but it is still unclear exactly to what it was attached. This seemingly magical paper can sometimes be seen manifesting itself out of the clear blue sky, where it can seem huge in comparison to its normal size. Some suggest that it's merely in the foreground. On occasion, Strong Bad has touched The Paper in closeup, making The Paper look even more like it's gigantic compared to everything else by having his hand seem notably smaller than The Paper.

From the sound it made and the quality of the printout, the printer that produces The Paper can be assumed to be of the dot matrix variety. The sprocket holes on the edges further indicated that it had a tractor feed mechanism. Both technologies are almost completely outmoded. In most appearances, The Paper prints upside-down from how a real dot-matrix printer would operate; that is, the last line prints first toward the free edge of the page. However, as seen in the paper, it is also capable of printing in the "normal" orientation. A drawing of the printer in lady fan also shows the printer operating in this way.

"wE haDd A goOd RUN, oLD buDddy."

It was foretold in montage that The Paper would stick around until email #173, at which time Strong Bad would upgrade to an inkjet printer. This did indeed come to pass. The Paper's printer began to malfunction, and fell from its hidden spot above the computer. After a series of flashbacks reminiscing about The Paper, it bade Strong Bad farewell, and he cremated it with the BMW lighter. Its ashes spelled "Bye now". Strong Bad then sang a lament for his departed friend: "And The Paper goeth into the niiIIiiIIiiIIght!"

Despite The Paper's demise on the website, it returned alive and well in Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People, as part of the in-game menu. It also returned to the site for Strong Bad's 200th email, when it fought New Paper offscreen. It was then accidentally burned to a crisp once more by sparks flying off the short-circuiting Happy 8600. It has since appeared as the background image of and in photographs Tweeted by @StrongBadActual.

The onomatopoeia for The Paper's sound effect is "preeeeow", mentioned in autobiography, haircut, part-time job, garage sale, lady fan, coloring, and the paper. In honor of this, Strong Bad has set the Compé-per to make the "preeeeow" noise. The Paper is always referred to with an integral article.

Contents

[edit] Abnormal Sayings

"Oops! Sorry. Bye, everybody."

The Paper has displayed messages other than the standard "Click here to e-mail Strong Bad" link.

  • At the end of Superbowl Dealie, it reads, "Due to the big game, the Strong Bad Email will be late this week."
  • At the end of Arcade Game, it reads, "Click here to play the Trogdor arcade game."
  • At the end of duck pond, it reads, "Click here to play 'Duck Pond'".
  • At the end of King of Town Email, The Paper comes down and reads, "No one really wants to email the King of Town. For real."
  • In the Toons Menu version of crazy cartoon, it appears in Powered by The Cheat form and reads ">>>The End<<<".
  • In the DVD and Podstar Runner versions of Strong Bad Emails, it simply reads, ">>The End<<", due to the inability to link to Strong Bad's email address.
  • It displays the menu options on the strongbad_email.exe DVD. There is also a "bottom-feeding Paper" reading "Make your selection and mash GO, moron!"
  • In the email animal, it reads "Enough already, Strong Bad" above the usual email information.
  • At the end of Sick Day, a very unhealthy-looking (crumpled) The Paper reads "Strong Bad, I can't come in today."
  • At the end of cliffhangers, it reads, "Tune in next time for the cliff hanging conclusion!!"
  • In retirement, The Paper translates what the broken Tandy 400 and Compy 386 are trying to tell Strong Bad. At the end of retirement A it read, "To Be Continued Tomorrow!" before retirement A and retirement B were merged. At the end of the email The Paper reads, "It was me. I like hushpuppies."
  • In the paper, it shares its last words with Strong Bad: "I tHiNK i'MM rEAlllyy QUItTinG sTROng BBBaD" and "wE haDd A goOd RUN, oLD buDddy." The earliest words of The Paper are revealed to be "Preeeeow, world." In the basketball flashback, it reads "Manute Bol". During the flashback to its preppy phase, it reads "golf". Just before saving Strong Bad from The Island, it reads "Anybody need a lift?" After Strong Bad's flashback, it reads "iT is Tiime. YOU kNOw WhHat to dO." After Strong Bad "cremates" The Paper, its ashes spell "bye now."
  • In Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People, The Paper occasionally pops down to give instructions on various bonus modes of the game.

[edit] Other "The Paper" Oddities

[edit] General

"Nobody move! Gonna be a long week!"
  • At the end of guitar, Strong Bad uses the BMW Lighter and unintentionally scorches The Paper.
    • In an Easter egg in the DVD version of caffeine, The Paper gets scorched again by Strong Bad's science project, "The Effects Of Gasoline On Fire".
  • In sb_email 22, The Paper only comes down at the end of the press conference Easter egg.
  • The printer for The Paper is apparently female; at the end of invisibility, the contrast knobs of the Tandy 400 can be repeatedly clicked to produce the message "tell the printer i'll miss her." However, The Paper itself is male, as mentioned in animal when Strong Bad asks "him" to come down and meet the new Lappy 486.
  • Apparently, The Paper can also produce counterfeit money; in an Easter egg in couch patch, one can click on a hidden link to make The Paper print out an ASCII art million dollar bill.
  • Strong Bad also uses The Paper in autobiography to print out the actual email. He runs the command "print_of_it.exe" to do so.
    • Later in this email, The Paper takes a while to signal the end of the email due to a paper jam (according to Strong Bad).
  • In the process, Strong Bad points out The Paper's descent. In the scene when Strong Bad throws a discount brick at Homestar, The Paper is much smaller than usual.
  • In theme park, The Paper comes down twice.
  • In extra plug, even when the power is out, The Paper still comes down, with the help of Strong Mad and The Cheat.
  • In coloring, Larry Palaroncini is heard singing The Paper's signature noise as it comes down and his song ends.
'Twas foretold
  • In more armies, the email just before its death, The Paper comes down crumpled and torn, prompting Strong Bad to comment, "that's a bad sign."
  • In the paper, The Paper is seen in Strong Bad's flashbacks:
    • In a "Goth phase" The Paper is entirely black and has blood dripping from it.
    • In a "Preppy phase" it is seen with a pink polo shirt with a turquoise sweater draped around it and the word "golf" being the only visible print (blood also drips from it).

[edit] When it has a mind of its own

  • At the end of 50 emails, it comes down prematurely, ending an email which, in Strong Bad's opinion, was not quite over.
  • The Paper can occasionally follow orders, though. In date and for kids, Strong Bad instructs The Paper when to come down to bring the email to a close.
  • In the facts, The Paper comes down after Homestar says, "And that's the end of my show, DONK!" Strong Bad objects to this.
  • In animal, The Paper nervously goes back up when meeting the Lappy. It then tells Strong Bad via printout (see above) that he's stopped being funny for the day.
  • In part-time job, The Paper doesn't come down on its own. Instead, "ps: preeeeow" must be clicked to make it come down.
  • In Sick Day, The Paper is wrinkled and produces a sick-sounding noise, and tells Strong Bad that it can't come in. It then retreats when Strong Bad asks if he can blow his nose on it.
  • In retirement, The Paper suddenly appears and offers to translate the Tandy 400 and Compy 386's language of "extravagantly broken computer". Later, The Paper explains to Strong Bad that it is the one that likes hushpuppies.
  • In The Paper's last moments in the paper, it shares its last words with Strong Bad; "I tHiNK i'MM rEAlllyy QUItTinG sTROng BBBaD", "wE haDd A goOd RUN, oLD buDddy", and then after Strong Bad's flashback, "iT is Tiime. YOU kNOw WhHat to dO." After Strong Bad burns The Paper the ashes spell "bye now."
  • In email thunder, New Paper begins advertising Homestar's HREmails. It is then dragged off the top of the screen and presumably beat up, and The Paper comes down, much to Strong Bad's delight. It is burned by sparks from Homestar's computer shortly thereafter.
  • In Baddest of the Bands, when Strong Bad comments that he could make a better entry form using the Lappy and The Paper, The Paper comes down reading: "Got that right."

[edit] When it shows up in odd places

  • In stand-up, it comes down in front of the Telebision after the end of Strong Sad's video.
  • In little animal, it appears at the top of the screen while Strong Mad chases Strong Bad around the room. It also remains there when you switch to Strong Man chasing Old-Timey Strong Bad and back.
  • In the bird, it comes down from the sky. Pom Pom lifts the corner and peeks out from under it.
  • In property of ones, it comes down over the Cold Ones needlepoint.
  • In big white face, it appears above The Poopsmith, who pokes at it with his shovel.
  • In lackey, it comes down in front of Bubs' Concession Stand.
  • In replacement, it appears above Strong Bad's grave.
  • In garage sale, it comes down from the sky. When viewing the Homestar Runner Easter egg, it remains centered on the screen even as the scene shifts to the left.
  • In lady...ing, The Paper comes down to the right of the Lappy (although centered on the screen), after Strong Bad has fallen asleep on that side.
  • In portrait, The Paper comes down in the Brothers Strongs' basement.
  • In redesign, The Paper comes down in front of the "Redesigning SBEMAILS, JERK FOOT" logo.
  • In retirement, it appears on the roof of Bubs' Concession Stand and in the field.
  • In the paper, The Paper is shown blocking for Strong Bad in a basketball-type game (Homestar was using a rubber football). After it blocked the shot Homestar comments "Aw, man! Wish I had a time-and-space-transcending piece of paper on my team" (at which point Homsar appears). It also rescues Strong Bad from a sinking island.

[edit] When it's not The Paper

[edit] See Also

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